Don’t Post The Quote Sis, They Don’t Care

One of my marketing flyers once read “I Live On Social Media” which wasn’t a lie. I was always glued on my phone swiping through different platforms to keep up with everything except for the time I was asleep. Even then, I would dream of some of the people I follow especially those on Twitter. I’m still curious about how that works, you dream of someone you’ve never met in real life, someone you only interact with online. Strange indeed!

2019 changed my perspective on so many things around social media.

social media MaKupsy

1. People Don’t Care

You got a new job, you just had a beautiful bouncy baby, you relocated and you’re finally living in the city of your dreams. The first thing you think of is sharing with your online friends. Yes, they will send you dozens of likes and messages of congratulations but do they genuinely care? That single post has probably given one of your online friends a reason to despise you, not that you’ve done anything wrong but you reminded them of how things aren’t going well in their lives.

Does that mean you shouldn’t post your achievements? I say post them BUT choose your platforms wisely. I’m assuming it depends on which country you’re from but from the part of the world I live in your well-intended post might end up being a meme or have people pass snide comments. Want to know what they care about? Your downfall. Now that’s the stuff they’ll enjoy any day. Human beings are strange creatures.

2. You Put Yourself In The Spotlight

Tweeting used to be my favourite past time. I always changed my handle to something spicy. Whatever the name was would go with the sort of tweets I’d share. I would initiate hot conversations around sex.  Did I get a lot of attention for all the wrong reasons? Certainly! People would take screenshots of my tweets and share them in groups or make them their WhatsApp status updates. Imagine the shock I’d get when someone would tell me my tweet was a hot topic in a WhatsApp group. I made a conscious decision to end the madness.

sex conversations makupsy

That’s round about the same time my brand was taking shape and I knew I wouldn’t want to be remembered for any of that. I did a whole online makeover, changed my handle and now use the same name on all platforms. It’s been 2 years of making sure I share content that adds value to my audience. Fast forward to a month ago, I was in one of the biggest interviews in my life and one of the panelists told me she follows me on Twitter. Had it been 2 years back I was going to hide under the table with shame.

They say the internet never forgets; whatever you put out there is something you won’t be embarrassed to repeat in an interview setup or better yet to your parents.

3. You Need A Hobby

Believe it or not you can do other things with your time that don’t involve social media. Read a book, listen to a podcast, write, read or cook something different. From experience, the more free time you have on your hands the more you’re tempted to share every single part of your life with the online community. We all have people who even tell us about the colour of their poo that morning. Don’t be that person who overshares. Get yourself an enriching hobby that will make social media an occasional activity not the centre of your life.

makupsy social media

Phew! This has been the longest blog post I’ve penned down in a while. I had so much to say but I’ll keep this short because I always complain about bloggers who write never-ending posts.

What are your thoughts on sharing about your life on social media?

©MaKupsy 2020

You Might Not Be Able To Blog For The Rest Of Your Life

I had a dream, a dream to blog about almost all the precious experiences I would go through in my lifetime. The dream was so vivid I saw it going from the year 2014 all through to the day I am no longer a part of this world. I lied to myself, it’s not possible for me and I accept it with open arms. I’ve been blogging for nearly 6 years now and I’m closing this chapter of my life soon. Let me share a few secrets with you…

Blogging MaKupsy

1. Time Won’t Be Enough

I’ve been waking up at 3am to create content. It started because of the load shedding situation in Zimbabwe. I wouldn’t have electricity for the greater part of the day. I decided if I slept early I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning instead to do some cleaning, cooking and you guessed it, blogging. That’s the only time I had access to wifi so the plan was to make the most of it. I would create my content in advance, schedule it and get a chance to read through other posts bloggers I follow would have penned down. However, it turns out time is something I no longer have enough of. I’m big on telling people that “you make time for what matters to you” and it’s true. Although blogging matters to me, I now have other platforms I cater to that need my full attention. The time for blogging simply isn’t there anymore.

2. You Will Run Out Of Ideas 

You can write alright, but exactly how many ideas do you go through till you get to the point where you realise that there isn’t anything to write about anymore? I’ve done it all. I’ve written about travel, relationships, blogging tips, motherhood, sex, events in town, restaurant reviews, you name it and I have a blog hiding somewhere in my posts for it. I’ve even written articles I’ve been paid for. One of the coolest things about blogging which is clearly diverting us from the topic at hand! Yes, ideas will soon run out and you might end up with a blog with no content for months to come and start questioning why you even started blogging.

MaKupsy

3. Which Brings Us To The Why 

The main reason I started blogging was to have an outlet for my broken heart. I was bitter and full of so much range that I couldn’t contain and the best way to let it out was through writing. It worked for a few years until all the negative feelings no longer lived inside me. I’ll be writing a blog post on this sometime soon, you should watch this space for a happy ever after. 

When the why fades away, it doesn’t make sense to keep going. I’m not an angry black woman anymore, why keep focusing on the past that can’t be altered when I have a bright future to indulge in? My why doesn’t live here anymore.

MaKupsy Happiness

4. A Friend Told Me

That it’s okay to let go. She has walked with me through this journey and when I told her that I was losing my zeal for blogging she reminded me that change happens. I can focus my energy on something else that inspires me to create. The end of something can birth new opportunities. 

5. Mental Wellness

In the past I’ve easily shared intimate parts of my life freely.  However, as I’ve grown older I realise that maybe it’s not such a great idea to do so.  The past few months have been difficult for me on the mental wellness front.  I’ve had bouts of anxiety and depression.  These are things I would have put in a blog post but I feel that maybe it needs to be in a different setup altogether until such a time I know how to manage my dark days.  Social media might not be the space right now.

I hope you know that this doesn’t mean this is my last blog post. I’ll still be sharing my work with you. The only difference is that 2020 is officially the final year I publish weekly blog posts. In 2021 I have a new project I’ll be working on that I’m excited about. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do but knowing that I won’t be focusing my efforts on blogging reassures me that I will finally have time to give it my full attention. If you stick around you’ll get to know what the big secret is before the year ends.

Do you want to take a guess on what this could be? 

I’d also like to know if at any point during your journey you’ve decided you’re done with blogging? 

©MaKupsy 2020

How To Find Out Your Most Fulfilling Blogging Niche

When I started blogging I had a lot of online critics. I concluded that that’s what happens when you put your thoughts out there for the world to see. One person tweeted saying “what sort of blogging is that”?  It stung, in my world, I was expressing myself the best way I knew how and to have someone else think it wasn’t good enough nearly led me to give up on a new hobby I was enjoying. To my surprise, one woman reached out to me and she encouraged me to keep writing. She told me that my blog was my space, a place to have my voice heard and my stories shared. She inspired my blog tagline. I embraced her advice and continued to write, without a niche in mind but still, I shared my experiences one post at a time.

Bloggin niche makupsy

Image from Pinterest

6 years later and I’m still churning out content weekly. Where did time go and where do some of these topic ideas even come from? Maybe I can write about that in my next blog post? Today I want to help you figure out what your blog niche is and how you can welcome it with open arms.

1. What Are You Well Informed About?

This one was easy for me. My blog was inspired by heartbreak and that’s all I wrote about for the longest time. When I look at my  WordPress blog insights readers stop by to read mostly about relationships and personal (read that as sex) posts.  With that information at hand, I run with it and deliver juicy stories you can’t resist reading. Like this post; Sex On The First Date it’s the most popular post with over 100 likes! Write about what your readers love the most. They will keep coming back for more!

2. What Tickles Your Fancy?

It could be anything. Some people enjoy wearing makeup, others love to travel while a handful like to eat out. Whatever you’re passionate about works in your favour. For someone like me who likes the finer things in life; writing about my eat-out experiences is one of my favourite things to do. Not only do I get to share mouth-watering pictures but I give you ideas of what you can try out the next time you have a date. I save you a phonecall because I share all the useful information you need at the end of the post.

MaKupsy Restaurant Review

A meal from one of my favourite restaurants in town 🙂

3. Don’t Follow The Crowd

It’s easy to want to do exactly what your friends are doing or what your favourite blogger does. Where’s the uniqueness in that? You want to stand out and have people know that this is your work the moment they start reading it. Your signature might be your catchy blog titles, the playful words you use or the high-quality images that go with your work. Whatever happens, stay true to you.  Noone can be you and that’s your superpower!

So how do long does it take to figure out what your blogging niche is? It depends on the individual in question. It took me a couple of months to understand that I was a personal blogger because I mostly share my innermost thoughts and feelings. Couple that with other topics but the top theme in my work is personal experiences.

It might take you a longer or shorter time. Whichever way it works out give yourself time before putting yourself in a box. Allow your work to guide you. It’s the only way you will find the most fulfilling blogging niche.

fitness blogger makupsy

Image from Pinterest

 

*Top Secret Tip*

If you really want to stand out in the blogging world, choose a niche that most people aren’t a part of. I’m the only Fitness Blogger in Zimbabwe and that dear reader is how I stand out from the crowd. Oh, you thought I only had this blog. I’m a woman of many talents…

Have you figured out what your blogging niche is or you’re still riding the wave trying to figure things out?

©MaKupsy 2020

It Ain’t Where I’ve Been But Where I’m About To Go

I’m a mother.  The father of my child and I separated a few years ago.  I was bitter, heartbroken and mad at the world for the longest time.  I felt like the world owed me something for all the pain I was going through.  It took me a whole 5 years to finally get out of that zone.

One morning I woke up and asked myself, what would happen if something were to happen to the father of my child and I had to look after her on my own?  Would I remain bitter or would I have to gather myself up and show up for my one and only daughter?  I chose the latter.  I stopped sending him never ending text messages wishing him ill, I stopped crying myself to sleep every other night, I stopped complaining about how I hated my job, I stopped speaking negative things into my life and chose to start working on myself one day at a time.  I realised it was time to get my shit in order and the moment I made that decision and started taking action; my life has been full.

This video stirred so many emotions within me.  It brought back flash backs of some of the things I’ve gone through in the past but still came out stronger and wiser.  It will take some of your time to watch this but every single minute will be worth it, I promise.

These are some of the lessons I learnt from the video:

  • Success leaves clues, we’re just not picking them up.
  • Go through every toxic behaviour in your life and start unlearning bad habits.
  • My job is to like myself everyday.
  • You can’t take everyone with you on your transformation journey.
  • It takes more than one thing to change your life, it takes EVERYTHING.

I would like to know what lessons you learnt from watching this video?  Please share this post with as many people as you can, it will change a life.

©MaKupsy 2020

Marriage, The Be-All And End-All Of Life

“Do you want to get married?”  My mother asked me this random question a few weeks ago when I’d gone home for the weekend. I replied her with an honest answer that left her puzzled.  “I don’t know mhamha.” 

Wedding MaKupsy

This is the shortest blog post you’ll ever read from me. I no longer have much to say about marriage. I’m neither here nor there. Maybe when someone shares their experience that comes with a happy ending I might just consider it.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts on marriage?

©MaKupsy 2020

My Experience With Snooping Through His Phone

I learnt the hard way; snooping through your partners’ is never a good idea.  For the couples who respect each other’s space, congratulations to you guys, you are doing this relationship thing right.

snooping through his phone MaKupsy

A quick poll before we get started.

 

I have never been one of those people who want to poke my nose in other people’s business but once you start dating a guy who leaves you wondering where you stand with him or what he has been up to believe me the curiosity will kick in and you will go through his phone like its nothing!  It becomes a very destructive and addictive habit though so if you decide to go that path be prepared to never have peace.

I have had some pretty heart wrenching encounters in the past and that just taught me a lesson (for that day only) to stay away from your partner’s phone.  For those who have always wanted to go through his phone and wondered when best to do it;

  • try when he is dead drunk,
  • when he is asleep or
  • the few seconds that he dashes to the loo.

Please be warned that you should do this at your own risk as you might not be able to deal with whatever you find in his phone.

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Image from Google

I will list a few messages I bumped into in the past, I remember word for word for some of them but for others I have a rough idea what they read.  I will also include who had sent the messages; here goes:

  • I am not in love with her.  I am only staying with her because I feel sorry for her.  I want to be with you and I am going to do everything that I can to make that happen. (my then boyfriend)
  • How was the evening with the girl you hooked up with from church, did you tap that ass? (my then boyfriend’s close cousin)
  • You shouldn’t marry her.  If you marry her you will be making the biggest mistake of your life.  You ex was a better fit for you and if you let her go you will be doomed. (my then boyfriend’s best friend) 
  • Send me some of your nude photos. (my then boyfriend)
  • Please send me airtime, I am low on credit. (my then best friend asking my boyfriend without my knowledge)
  • She is so fat I don’t even know why I am dating her, you know I like slim women. (my then boyfriend)

I can only remember the very juicy messages and the ones that really got to me the rest were really nothing to go on about.  What did this experience teach me?

  1. Not everyone who smiles at you actually likes you.  Take that then boyfriend’s best friend for example.  This guy used to come to our place and I would cook lunch, supper, breakfast, you name it just to make sure he was comfortable and yet his ass didn’t even like me!  What a fucking asshole!  Once I knew that’s how he felt about me I ended those privileges, what a prick!
  2. Even your so called best friend can get up to something behind your back.  I couldn’t help but wonder what else she used to ask for…
  3. Do not date anyone who bashes your self esteem, yes, I used to be fat, but you pursued me knowing I was fat, at what point did you realise that I was actually not your type?
  4. His friends are not your friends.  Do not be fooled!

These random experiences made me promise myself that I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH SOMEONE’S PHONE.  You will die an emotional death after you discover things you were not prepared to deal with.  To make things worse you can not exactly ask about the messages because you would have breached someone’s privacy.  You have no right to be going through a phone that does not belong to you.  At the same time it helps you see where you stand with someone but it really isn’t advisable to do that.  I would say talk things through if you feel there is something that is bothering you.  And even if you do decide to continue going through your partner’s phone and they do find out that’s what you get up to, trust me they will find ways to hide things from you and you will never find a single grain of evidence.  Bottom line is, if your partner is cheating the truth always has a way of revealing itself…just sit tight and relax.

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Image from Google

The amusing thing about going through your partner’s phone is if you find out something that hurts you the first thing you tell yourself is that you are going to break up with them and leave.  Sadly, most people stay and complain and bore us to death about how their partner is cheating…As for me, I stuck around for a while(that puts me in the boring department) but eventually things got from bad to worse, hearts were broken, words were said, trust went flying out the window but yes, that is life, we get to experience all sorts of things before we decide to make changes.  And that’s how I ended up deciding I won’t ever go through my partners phone because nothing good has ever come of it.  Ideally it would be nice to go through your partner’s phone and find out they are planning a surprise party or a getaway weekend but how often does that happen???

I would like to find out from you if you have gone through the Private Investigation phase of wanting to know who your partner has been talking to.  If yes, what did you find and how did you deal with it?

©MaKupsy 2018

Msinje Farm, Your Next Travel Destination

Msinje Farm is 30km out of Harare CBD along Shamva Road. A place I instantly thought was spectacular when I saw one of the top day tour and weekend getaway service providers in Zimbabwe; Pamushana Africa Transport post pictures on Twitter. I told myself I’d join them on that trip but I simply couldn’t wait. I had to go and see Msinje Farm if it was the last thing I was going to do last weekend.

Msinje Farm MaKupsy

MaKupsy

A Few Things You Need To Know

  • Entry fee is USD5
  • Your cooler box and snacks get in for free
  • They open at 12 midday till late on weekends
  • There’s an option to braai your meat on your own or have one of the friendly staff do it for you
  • Braai Master charges USD2
  • They provide coal for braaing at a fee; my advice, bring your coal with
  • The tour guide, Tadzie Junior was an excellent host. He showed me around Msinje Farm. He’s very patient too. He took a dozen pictures of me without complaining.

Msinje Farm

The first thing that put a big smile on my heart was the well-manicured lawn. They take great care of it and I was quick to remove my flip flops to walk barefoot. It felt good and I could feel all the muscle tension leave my body. Just writing about it is making me experience this feeling a second time.

A red Ford classic truck is parked in the bar area. That has to be my favourite highlights of my trip. I wanted to jump in and take it for a ride around the farm but you’re not allowed to. My opinion is they keep it there as part of the “feel” to the place because it looks like it consumes a lot of fuel. Seeing I couldn’t take it for a ride I chose to take tonnes of pictures seated at the back of the truck instead. Makes for great Instagram content!

Msinje Farm Classic Ford

They have a stunning garden with modern comfortable chairs. I remember thinking to myself when I buy my house this is the look I want. Not too flashy not too subtle but just the right touch.

Accommodation is also available. One of the rooms was built around a ruware (rock). By far the coolest thing I’ve seen to date!

Msinje Farm Views

Lastly, they have a mini snake park. You’re allowed to take pictures and if you’re daring enough you can hold some of the non-poisonous snakes in your hands or around your neck. IT’S A NO FOR ME. I only went to see the snakes for what lasted less than a minute because they scare me and no matter how much the tour guide tried to convince me that some were harmless I was having none of that.

Overall I had a marvelous day filled with new experiences, lots of pretty pictures and one too many glasses of wine.

MaKupsy Msinje Farm

You should go and check out Msinje Farm and feel this for yourself first hand. Contact the owner on +263772476548 to make your booking to go through. Just let her know I referred you.

It’s a family-friendly environment (children under 3 get in free) so when you decide to visit, make sure you take your family, friends, loved ones or do a solo trip. Whichever way you’ll have a grand time!

©MaKupsy 2020

Haka Game Park, My Solo Travel Experience

Haka Game Park is about 12 kilometers from Harare city centre. You can either use the Cleveland Dam entrance along Mutare road or when you’re along Mutare Road turn left into Harare Drive at the roundabout. Haka Game Park entrance will be to your right after about 1.5 kilometers.

Makupsy Travel Zimbabwe

My favourite shot of part of Haka Game Park 🙂

It’s the perfect place to go on a solo trip or with friends. I needed a solo trip to breathe some fresh air and take in some exquisite views. I asked a friend who had been there before what I needed to take with me. He advised me to pack a picnic basket filled with all my favourite things and a bottle of wine. Thankfully I’d eaten so I settled for my bottle of water, crisps, and bar of chocolate. Just incase…

10 Things I Loved About Haka Game Park

  1. The cool breeze and crisp clean air.
  2. Silence. A welcome change from all the hustle and bustle of Harare CBD.
  3. Viewing zebras and buffalo so close up. You have the option to take a walk with them if you like but I haven’t reached that level of bravery just yet.
  4. There are braai areas and a lot of sitting space.
  5. A lot of available sitting areas are available. Most are tree stumps. A very clever idea if you ask me.
  6. There are a variety of activities you can take part in. Horse riding, canoeing, volleyball, and soccer. 
    Haka Game Park Game Viewing

    Image courtesy of Kelvin Motsi

    Image courtesy of Kelvin Motsi

  7. Bins are available. Please make sure you tidy up and bin your litter before you leave.
  8. You can bring your food, alcohol, and snacks.
  9. Any car can use the route to Haka Game Park. I’m not sure if the same applies when the rainy season hits hard.
  10. It’s close to Harare CBD, you won’t have to travel far and wide to experience a taste of the wild.

When I went the entrance fee was 120ZWL or USD6. They also take Ecocash so that’s a bonus!

Have you been to Haka Game Park before? What was your experience like?

©MaKupsy 2020

 

3 Things You Can Do When You’re Spending Time Alone

“Sometimes you need to be alone. Not to be lonely but to free time being yourself.”

How many times have you gone for an outing with family and friends when you’d have preferred staying at home or doing something completely different? I know I have. I had a phase in my life not too many moons ago where if any event was happening I’d be there. Nothing wrong with being out and about right? However, truth be told I wasn’t having as much fun as I thought I was. Almost all the time I’d get home and I’d be completely drunk and had to deal with a killer hangover the next day. Was it worth my time and money after all? I decided I’d start spending my energy on things that matter. Part of the process meant me focusing on figuring out what made me truly happy on my own.  

Here are 3 things I tried out to start my journey of self discovery.

MaKupsy spending time alone

1. Stay In Your House

Considering I spend a lot of money on paying rent I figured why keep running away from my apartment every weekend? Let me stay here and get to use every single dime of my money; facilities included. Also, the electricity supply has improved so why would I need to step out of the house? More time for me to read, research, write and improve my digital skills.  

2. Travel Solo

My motto this year is 2020, My Year Of Travel. What I like about speaking things into existence is that they almost always come true. Yesterday I visited a place I had on my “travel to list” and I didn’t have to invite my entire contact list for this adventure. It was something I needed to do for myself. I wish I’d done so earlier because I left that space with my creative juices on steroids. It’s a good thing I carried my notebook with me to take down the ideas. Sometimes all you need is a new experience to open your mind to fresh possibilities. 

3. Clean

I’m a huge fan of this exercise. Personally, cleaning is a therapeutic experience that I can never get enough of. Last month I went through my things to see if there was anything I needed to get rid of. I was shell shocked when I had not one but two huge bags full of clothes, linen and cutlery that I hadn’t used over the past year. Here they were, taking up space and yet they had no purpose in my life. That night I slept so soundly. It felt like I could breathe better because I’d let go of things that were “holding me back.” I highly recommend you try this out yourself.  

*Side note*. In our Shona culture. When you die your relatives get to inherit your earthly possessions. It’s the other reason I’m always cleaning up. I’ll be thinking when I die I don’t want people to adopt broken things. They’d be pissed off with me for keeping dated things…I know I have a strange way of thinking. 

MaKupsy alone time.jpeg

Spending time on your own is a great way to get to know who you are and what you are or aren’t about. When you’re always around people it’s easy to assume that you like the same things. You don’t have to suddenly disappear from your friends and family’s lives. You simply have to take small deliberate steps each day to reserve some alone time.

The list of things to do when you’re on your own is endless. What are some of the things you get up to when you’re alone? I’d love to hear from you.

  ©MaKupsy 2020

How Dropping These 4 Habits Can Change Your Life

1. I don’t eat bread. It’s been nearly three months now. The main reason is that I’m not willing to spend 20ZWL on food that I know is bad for me. I’ve observed that most people aren’t buying bread and it’s stuck on the shelf for days on end. The chances of buying a nearly stale loaf are highly likely, I’m not taking that chance with my money. Just out of curiosity, have you noticed how you feel so hungry after a few hours of eating bread? The reason behind it is because bread has low energy density and your body uses it up quickly.

2. I love my coffee; I have it black, no milk no sugar. It was hard to stop taking sugar but I had to wean myself off it one day at a time. Studies have shown that having black coffee without sugar keeps your mind and body young. (I wish it had the same effect on my boobs😂)

new habits makupsy.jpg

3. I no longer run long distances. My current body type isn’t meant for that form of exercise. I only found this out when I was taking my fitness certification classes. It explained all the aches and pains I’d been experiencing the past few months! However, after running for weight loss for the past 5 years it came as a shock to discover that I didn’t have to kill myself with running insane distances. When I reach my goal weight I’ll get back to it but for now, I keep my runs short and sweet. The maximum distance I’ll ever do is 5km.

4. I’ve stopped buying exercise gear. I have more than enough of it. Lack of space in my wardrobe is also playing a huge role in that decision. Nevertheless, I’m still considering getting more custom made apparel instead and then give away the exercise gear collection I currently own. Sounds good to me.

What habits have you dropped along the way? They don’t have to be fitness related, it can be anything you know has made a positive difference in your life.

Let’s talk.

©MaKupsy 2020