A Letter To My Ex Boyfriends

When the idea of writing a letter to my ex boyfriends crossed my mind I thought this was going to be the biggest task to ever carry out.  As you may well guess no one ever has nice things to say about their ex boyfriends.  I really wanted to bring out the good in all of them, but after I told a few friends about this post they had a few things to add on since they were on the outside of the relationship, watching and taking notes.  No names are going to be mentioned in this article but if any of the guys I dated are to go through this they will know which paragraph relates to them.  I usually like to keep my posts short and to the point but this time around you are in for a lengthy read.



First ex: You treated me like a princess.  The roses just because it’s Tuesday, the walks in the park, the birthday surprises each year that left me cracking my head thinking of what to get for your birthday.  To be honest, you were the complete package, my very first boyfriend who loved, cherished and was very patient with me where sex was concerned because you knew I was still a virgin and wanted to wait until I was ready.  You waited 3 whole years to finally be intimate with me.  Show me a guy in this era who will wait for that long???  Alas, after we had sex you changed, you became this overprotective and psychotic boyfriend, each day I wondered where the caring guy I fell in love with had vanished to.  I continued to date you minus the signs that the relationship was clearly unhealthy, but after 5 years I decided to call it quits.  You didn’t give up on me easily; you fought my decision for months until you gave up.  I don’t regret knowing you, you taught me how a woman should be treated, like a queen, because women are royalty.

Second Ex: Long distance relationship gone wrong.  We had been friends for years, actually close to 7 years.  We decided to take the next big step and become a couple.  It worked for a while, close to a year actually, until you decided to block me from Facebook and showcase your new girlfriend there.  I was still new to Facebook and had no idea how it worked and if my cousin had not been your friend on Facebook back then I would have never known.  I remember telling you that if the distance ever bothered you all you had to do was let me know.  Instead you felt it was okay for you to have me fooled that we were happily in love and yet you were already engaged to another woman and staying with her.  So much for trust right?  We continued the relationship after apologies and trying to patch things up, but it was never the same.  You had your good side that I admired; you rubbed on your give it your all or nothing energy and for that I am grateful. And because of you I give everything I try out a shot with 100% dedication.  However you taught me not to trust a single soul because the same person you think loves you unconditionally is the very same person who will deceive you!

Third ex:  I actually wrote a whole post about you, that is just how much you broke my heart into unrepairable little pieces even though I had loved you with everything I had.  I actually had to sit down and write this just to get over it and out of my system and trust me it helped!  My friend describes you as “lazy as fuck, spoilt, sperm donor and ungrateful, sorry excuse of a man!”  Did I learn anything from you? YES that you can actually be in love by yourself even though you are in a relationship, in this case I loved you but you didn’t.  Sad hey? But life goes on, we live and we learn.  

Fourth ex: You were my rebound guy, after all that drama with failed relationships I needed a distraction and sadly for you; you came at just the wrong time to be a part of all the emotional turmoil I was going through at that point in my life.  The “King Of Silent Treatment” as I like to call you.  We really were worlds apart, I guess that’s what happens when you date for all the wrong reasons.  My other friend says, “that dude had no fashion sense, who wears flip flops, baggy jeans and basketball tops in this day and at that age?”  You were a nice guy though, in your own way but little did I know you have a violent streak in you.  All I can say is that I am happy I didn’t stay long enough to experience more of it.  You happen to be that ex I never want to be associated with so let’s just leave it at that because I don’t want to say anymore negative things.  Did I learn anything from this experience, yes, that I should not publicise my relationship on social networks, keep it classy, leave them guessing but don’t make your partner a secret.  Note the difference between private and secret.  You  also taught me that things are not always as they seem.  Now I tread cautiously with anything and everyone. Will I date any one of them again? NO, I don’t have amnesia, I know the things they put me through in the name of love, I will never walk down that road again. I know I can be a handful myself and I have my flaws too.  I also realise I sure have a way of picking the guys I date, when I look back I realise there was a characteristic they all possessed and it took me this long to realise I was partly to blame for the drama I went through.  When a relationship ends you don’t really understand why but it is only later on that you realise that it was actually for the good.

I wrote this letter to thank all my ex boyfriends for the lessons learned.  I have come to realise that “Honoring yourself and putting yourself first isn’t irresponsible; it’s imperative for leading a happy, balanced life.”



22 thoughts on “A Letter To My Ex Boyfriends

    • I should definitely get ex number 1 to read this post then…
      I hope someone out there is inspired to let go of their ex/es, too many people are holding onto the past.
      I will definitely pass through your blog.


  1. I respect the hell out of this post! Good for you for making your words do the talking and making peace with your past.. lessons are blessings from out ://sheislove19.wordpress.com/


    • Soul Ties!!! I have heard and read so much about those. How easy it is to be held onto the past because of sexual encounters…scary much! And yes, it has helped me get over all the past mistakes, if we didn’t make mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much right?


  2. I like, I wonder what lessons i have learned. women are Queens and deserved to be treated so, but not all men understand this…smh
    you might want to work on your flaws, cos am sure if them guys all had to talk, they will have something to say about you too.

    What did you find in common about all of your ex’s, that’s got me curious.

    one question remains, does one blame the ex’s or what life has to offer?

    I feel a lot of people need to go back and read how to treat my date, soul-mate right 101


    • I am glad some good has come out of your dating experiences. And I read somewhere that you should treat your woman the same way you would treat your mother 🙂

      They all had a violent streak in them except one. I guess back then I was attracted to “bad boys” as we like to term them.

      I used to blame my ex’s but I realised that I was the one who made the decision to date them even after noting a couple of red flags. It was up to me to walk away but I chose to stay.

      If they ever had the chance to say something about me trust me it would be nothing good. I realised that at some point you become the person who hurt you and with experiences from past relationships I got colder emotionally. Thankfully that phase is over and I am back to normal again.

      LOL, they have that? show me the way, i also want to read it 🙂


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