I am not going to sit here and type and lie about how I go to church every single Sunday that God created. That would be a lie and I might burn in hell for it. I am going to be brutally honest about my relationship with church and hope to get a few things off my chest without this getting to my mother.
I remember when I was around 5 years old I loved going to church. Maybe it was because of Sunday School. The teacher whose name I can not recall was a lot of fun, we would sit and listen to Bible stories, sing songs, take part in plays, make friends, go out and play and generally have a great time. Then I got a bit older and it was no more Sunday School for me I had to sit with the big girls in the main church and behave myself. When I look back I realise that maybe it was the teenage hormones that generally didn’t like church. You know how you turn into this little rebel who just wants to do the exact opposite of whatever your parents tell you to do. Now Sundays were a chore because come rain or shine I had to attend church. I would try feigning illness and my mother would simply tell me that if you go to church God will heal you and you will be as good as new. She had a strict policy when it came to church and I failed to understand why I had to be forced to go to church every Sunday. Each time I would try to question her I was met with “As long as you live under my roof you will do as I say.”
And so I soldiered on, a good 21 years of my life and when I finally moved out you do not want to know what happened…I went a whole ONE YEAR of no church. Please don’t judge me. I had done my time! 21 years of church is not a joke. It’s not that I didn’t like going to church, I did but I just didn’t want to be forced to do go. I believe that “You can take the donkey to the river but you can’t force it to drink.” I would go to church yes, but half the time I was sulking inside and wishing I was home and that obviously defeated the whole purpose of even going in the first place.
I believe in God and I pray often it’s just that I don’t go to church religiously. Does this make me a bad person? I do know that going to church every Sunday does not mean you will automatically go to heaven. I know a few people who go to church sometimes every day but how they treat others makes you wonder why they even go to church in the first place. Ohhhh no wait, I am not supposed to judge!!
I think that at the end of the day it is how you treat others that matters the most. Your church attendance records should really not pose as an issue as long as you practice love, obedience, put others before yourself…all the positives life has to offer. Will I go to church this Sunday? Chances are very slim…But I will be kinder to the next person, I will be patient and listen to a colleague tell me what she is going through, I will offer someone part of my lunch, I will buy those oranges that I really don’t want because I know that will make a difference in the next persons life and chances are I will feel a lot better doing it compared to sitting and freezing my bum off for a 2 hour sermon.
I know you’re going to judge me I can feel these things you know…