Ladies, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS. I found the article quite interesting. It is a completely different way of looking at relationships and who knows it might work for you. Unfortunately the writer wishes to remain anonymous so you will just have to thank me for sharing instead. Read and share with everyone you can think of. Enjoy
You could sit there everyday watching Days of Our Lives and swear that Bo and Hope have the relationship that any decent human being would want. I mean its all there, she is a stunning brunette who could easily be the poster girl for sensitivity and he is a no holds barred cop with a tough exterior and mushy romantic inside. They have faced tragedy been shot at, have a long lost son, I mean its the whole 9 yards. Yet somehow they have the perfect relationship simply because they love each other. BULLSHIT!!!
Back to real life were we have no water and power goes. I am going to come out and say it right now, LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. I haven’t been in a lot of relationships and I am probably not an expert but I have been in one successful relationship for a long time and let me tell you something that shit is hard. Its takes your time, a lot of your money, it requires sacrifices it has gives and takes and yes it also has PROFITS. Relationships are like businesses ladies and gentlemen and they must be managed as such.
Now before you throw you Mills and Boon at me let me say this, love is important in a relationship. That yearning for attention from you significant other, the deep caring and illogical need for their companionship and happiness is very real. But like any business it is not the only variable. Let me now present to you my business model :
Normally includes 2 partners (unless you into some of the kinky stuff and we are not judging) both with an equal stake in the business….. let me stop right there because the statement is WRONG. Never in any business have partners had an equal stake. Yes they may own 50% of the business but your stake especially in a relationship is based on “What do I lose if this ends” and the factors are always different on both sides. So when in a relationship always remember that like in business you have to guard your stake. What is in you best interest should be in the best interest of the business for the relationship to work. I have seen people who were seemingly overcome by love whither afterwards while their partner walked out almost unscathed. Mainly because they had a little saved up on the side (a piece of their individuality) for times like these.
THE MISSION STATEMENT:
A mission statement basically defines what it is you do. What defines you as a business? In a relationship this is just as important. What is it that you do that makes this a fruitful relationship. If love was all that was needed then restaurants and cinema’s across the world would run out of business. Many partners probably have a lot in common. They probably like the same things and maybe go to the same places. I know a couple who love bike riding, some enjoy trying out new restaurants, others hit the hottest spots in town. Whatever it is that you do as a relationship must be clearly defined and known by both parties. If you are to venture into new areas i.e redefine the mission statement then there must be buy in from both parties. Imagine fellas for a second you start dating a reserved, quiet almost boring woman because well you frantically already have a hectic lifestyle. And ladies if you will be the woman in question you want to have a little bit of fun in your life. Now this relationship will lead to there having to be compromises and frantically exchange of characters. Now imagine if one of them changes the mission statement. No more balance. Your partner loses the part of you they needed and you are no longer the same organisation.
Visions are boring!!
BUT they are necessary. A business without a vision is doomed. Any O’Level kid doing Commerce can tell you that. Just as it is with a relationship. Now when a business starts the vision has to be there. That is impractical for a relationship (unless you are one of those Makandiwa types) because well you usually don’t plan on starting them. That’s cool but at some point and time there has to be an endgame. What is it it that we are going to achieve when we say that our relationship has worked. A lot of people are probably thinking, marriage, wealth, 6 more wives that kind of thing but has anyone thought “to love each other more”? Didn’t think so. The vision encompasses everything that you do, it affects every facet of your relationship. I personally wouldn’t wanna get on a bus that said destination “Unknown” . I am not saying it has to be specific but at least let a brother know he is passing Gweru at some point.
THE ORGANOGRAM :
Now me being male women are obviously expecting this so I won’t disappoint, men should naturally lead the relationship. Did someone say “chauvinistic”? I say this because like in business someone has to be ultimately responsible for the decisions. There are times when someone has to make the call. Now I am not saying it shouldn’t be the woman, look at it from a business model. If you have a CEO he is usually surrounded by directors. Now in my relationship I am definitely not the director of Finance. She is because she is better with money, so in the day to day running of things she makes the call on money. However if there is an objection and a final decision has to be made well…… SO what I am saying is both partners can lead but a successful relationship lets people lead where they have strengths. So ladies you know even though they may not be romantic you love the movies she picks and gents you may not wanna admit it but she is always spot on when it comes to what you should wear. Then like a successful director allow the better individual in that field to make the decision. Let him pick the movies, if he cares about you he will pick some good romantic movies because will its just good for business.
LASTLY PROFIT :
A business that doesn’t make profit (unless you are an NGO or political party) will soon run out of……business! How do you measure profit in a relationship you ask? In revenue of course. And revenue-costs= profit. Now the tricky thing about profit is you may not always take back the same based on you different perceived stakes. If you are in a relationship that has you continuously sacrificing and having outlay after outlay without any of the things you want then your costs are to high. The best way to get profit is to either increase revenue which is getting more of the attention that you want, more of the time, more time apart whatever it is or reduce costs which is giving less of yourself to the relationship, focusing on the areas that matter and not the whole thing. If you feel like you are losing in a relationship then its time to balance the books or close shop.
My point (if I actually had one) is that to leave a relationship to fate and love would be a mistake. We need to look at what we want and define clearly how we get it. I am not saying we should plan the whole thing but at least we should know where we are about to invest our emotions, time and love to and make sure that its successful. I am not an expert, a doctor or a blogger. I am just a guy, who had free time after work and decided to air an opinion. So its okay to disagree with me because I might be wrong and so might you.
Disclaimer: The statements issued here do not necessarily represent the opinion of the writer who is one hundred percent committed to his relationship and believes that he leads nothing and has no individuality what so ever. See you at supper baby!!