4 Reasons Why Men Cheat

I know for a fact that each time someone cheats we are left with the big question WHY?  Why would someone who claims to love you put you through pain you can never explain.  I know us women go through a lot of theories trying to think what we could have done differently to stop our partner from cheating.

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Image from Google

Today I am doing something different on the blog.  I was having a conversation with a friend this morning and the topic of infidelity came up.  He wishes to remain anonymous but I will share his thoughts on the subject.  My comments are in italics but you can join in the discussion in the comments section.

Reason Number 1:
The biggest reason why most man will always cheat or cheat on their partner at least a few times is because its in our DNA. Whether you believe in Science Evolution Theory or The Biblical version of things, man in both backgrounds have always been known to have more than one partner. While change is inevitable and these days equality suggests that one man for one woman, the evidence is there that this is something that will likely never change because its deeply rooted within us.  Men naturally have a huge appetite for women and pure satisfaction can unfortunately never be fulfilled by one woman.
This dude has some mad jokes!!  Men have what?  Oh, okay, so does this mean women don’t have a huge appetite as well?  Who says only one man can satisfy a woman?  While one can completely satisfy them say in bed, how do you know they satisfy her emotionally, financially or in any other department.  It’s not just men who have an appetite darling, even some women feel that way but they have this one thing, CONTROL.  You have to learn to control your desires, you can not have everything you want in this life. 
Reason Number 2:
For historic reason, society is more accepting of a man’s transgressions in a relationship than it is for woman. And this is again closely related to reason number 1 where history shows that back then (and current as well in some cultures) societies accept that a man can have more than 1 partner. Most African cultures before western influence, believe(d) that a man can have more than 1 partner. This subconsciously influences some of our decisions to be unfaithful. “The all because I can” factor.
You see why I am not getting married anytime soon.  It’s things like these.  How do men feel so much entitlement.  Kutoita hake chihure munhu achiti mungandidii?  (Going on to cheat because he knows you can’t do anything about it)  The unfortunate thing is that men know that most women will complain, cry and do all sorts when they find out that their men are cheating but very few will leave and in my opinion that just gives them more fuel to cheat on their partner.  I think that if you want to be in an open relationship then go ahead and be honest about it from the get go and not say you are in an exclusive relationship but you can still get to be doing all sorts on the side.  That’s unfair because men know very well that if the tables were turned they would not be amuse, AT ALL.  Anyways, society, do tell me why we are allowing men to get away with cheating in broad daylight????
Reason Number 3:
Sense of dominance over their partner. Once a man starts to feel that “I have this one wrapped around my finger” It’s highly likely that he gets a big head and decides to have another woman enjoy what i have to offer. More often that not you do it knowing that even if you’re caught, you’ll twist in a way that she’ll forgive you. 
I read this as when a man starts making money he starts feeling like he needs to get more women to spend it with…I don’t know about you guys.
They know our weakness!!  They know we will continue to take back their lying and cheating asses back!  What must happen now?  Sometimes you think to yourself I am going to leave him but you think what are the chances of the next guy cheating as well and then you stay…I blame society.  I remember the infidelity stories I would hear growing up and aunts and relatives would always advise whoever was going through the most that they had to stay strong because that’s what men do.  Imagine all that emotional abuse that comes with cheating and someone just says “stay strong”? THE FUCK? 
Reason Number 4:
This is the last reason. The most common reason why men cheat on their partners is because they are not satisfied. It can be because of many things but it all comes down to dissatisfaction. Please get me well, this is not directly to do with sex; although sexual dissatisfaction is one of the many reasons such as your character, your attitude, your physical features, the way you handle yourself, your dressing, the way you take care of yourself.
Then he goes on to say more jokes.  How am I supposed to be taking care of myself when you are busy cheating on me?  That will be the last thing on my mind isn’t?   Dressing for who, for the why?  You men never get satisfied, even if we do the most you will still do the most!  Okay fine, maybe I am just being a tad bit dramatic here.  I might have to agree with him on this one.  Sometimes I can’t help but feel that some women tend to relax and let go of themselves because we know we are now hitched so need to keep working at keeping our men. We all know that one woman who used to be such a flame before she got married and once she was she has turned into this unkempt woman because well, she is married now so why go the extra mile?  I guess things like that get to men and they start looking elsewhere.  There is actually a Shona song that says something about your man will leave you if you stop taking care of yourself inside and out.  That said, I think communication is of paramount importance because without that the next person will never know that they are doing something that is killing the vibe.  This goes to both men and women!  
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Image from Google
The reason why men cheat can be one of the above. Though I can not substantiate this with any formal research that I have done or refer you to one that is out there.  I would want believe that it is highly likely a man will cheat on partner in  his lifetime.
I could safely say the same for women, read the story here.
There you have it ladies, from a man himself.  What are your thoughts on this?  Will you take back a partner after you found out that he was cheating?  Would you still love him and trust them the same way?  Would you cheat on them as well or just leave it at that?  I have so many questions on this topic but I would like to hear from you.  Let’s talk.
©MaKupsy 2016
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29 thoughts on “4 Reasons Why Men Cheat

  1. Interesting points there but what I think is that we can’t point out exactly why men cheat because it can be a combination of so many things. One thing though that i’d agree with you is that men are not in control.. Generally women have been labelled as more responsible meaning that their decision making etc is better than if the male figure so they are more conscious of what’s happening and will not find a quick fix like cheating as getting back to men.

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    • I agree with you, it’s a whole combination of so many things. I believe either men or women can cheat but if you are happy and satisfied you won’t take any chances on your relationship. That said, do people actually talk about problems in a relationship or sweep issues under the carpet?

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  2. Very interesting read. I believe some of the things mentioned but I am also starting to think that I choose to believe them because I want a clear reason why men cheat, which I assume is what made you write this blog in the first place. We want to know why they do it. However, I don’t think it has anything to do with dissatisfaction because telling your partner the truth about elements where they are lacking would solve the problem quickly. Having no control is not an excuse I am willing to accept either because making a commitment to someone to be exclusive and only share yourself with them and them alone means you clearly have control over your thoughts and in turn, your actions and intentions. Cultural reasons that allow for men to have more than 1 partner is also not good enough for me because men know when they are in a relationship with someone that would be ok with that type of set-up or not, and should therefore choose their women carefully. I think it all boils down to men being selfish (well, those that cheat). Cheating is a simple act of not giving a fuck about what your actions could do to them, just to satisfy your needs. It goes against any bond formed between a man and a woman and therefore, I don’t think it can be associated to anything we can explain and try to give a valid reason for. Its unjustifiable

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    • And the church said Amen! I agree. After all is said and done it is just someone who is putting themselves and couldn’t care less how the next person will feel. If they really and truly cared they would resolved whatever issues they have with their partner and map a healthy way forward. Thank you for reading Sihle 😉

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    • I hope i don’t offend you but to be honest, you’re delusional and choosing to be naive.. Selfishness is a product of reason number 3. Dont ignore culture coz its the roots of why its society accepts it, with or without the womans will.

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      • This is the 21st century, a woman’s will is just as important in a relationship as a man’s. If we were to look at this in purely a cultural form then the entire debate wouldn’t exist because we would just attach the reason men cheat to culture and leave it at that. But it’s not the case. The women that accept that element of culture can then say that they are not being cheated on because, well, its culture. But some of us weren’t brought up that way, we were brought up to understand that 1 man for 1 woman. That’s my culture. I’m failing to understand how me not accepting 2 women for 1 man is me being delusional and naïve….

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      • Thats a nice theory of the 21st century but you and i both know that This is Africa.. dynamics of life and perceptions based on sex and wrong and right are very different despite change being inevitable.. It’ll take another century before that playing ground is levelled. Dont get me wrong, i dont condone cheating, but im just calling a spade a spade.

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  3. This is a very sensitive issue especially for the one who has been cheated on. Cheaters cheat because I ts a choice they make to satisfy their own desires. What the cheaters forget is they are destroying lives inside out. There is no excuse for cheating. If you are not happy please I beg be man enough or woman enough to let go off the other person rather than degrading and shaming them with your lying and cheating a..let me stop here before ndabuda mu mweya.

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    • LoL hanzi ndabuda mumweya! You are funny Milsa. I agree though, be honest about your feelings, that way it makes lives easier for both parties involved. Thank you for reading 🙂

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  4. This is the 21st century, a woman’s will is just as important in a relationship as a man’s. If we were to look at this in purely a cultural form then the entire debate wouldn’t exist because we would just attach the reason men cheat to culture and leave it at that. But it’s not the case. The women that accept that element of culture can then say that they are not being cheated on because, well, its culture. But some of us weren’t brought up that way, we were brought up to understand that 1 man for 1 woman. That’s my culture. I’m failing to understand how me not accepting 2 women for 1 man is me being delusional and naïve….

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    • And it’s because you men do things that make women go crazy. Like not picking up your calls, hiding your phones, having “female friends” you don’t introduce us to, never ending boys nights out, not spending time with up, stuff like that 🙂

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  5. I believe we also cheat as a way of reaffirming ‘we still have it’. That even though now we are ‘tied down’, we can still go out there and approach and bag any woman we want. It’s an ego trip. One that we believe constantly needs to be topped up with stupid and often deviant behavior.

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    • This I believe with no doubts whatsoever. You are very right. Just to see if the ladies still fall for your lines and all the tricks you use to try and get one. Its a sad thing to do though considering you now have a loving partner who loves and trusts you.

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  6. One reason you people you seem to skip or forget is the first one the guy mentioned, and I as a man, believe that’s the major under lying cause why men cheat. Like he said, It’s in our genes, and don’t get me wrong, just because it’s in our genes is not an excuse to cheat. There are a lot of things in our genes but we can control them, so that means we should also be able to control our physical desire for women. The problem comes down to the nature of men themselves. We know that naturally most men are childish in nature and that childish nature leads us into selfishly doing things without maturely thinking of the consequences. All we really want is to just have fun in the moment, whether it’s partying all night on a week night, driving at high speeds on a wet slippery highway or having a fling with that work mate who has a bigger butt than your skinny wife it doesn’t matter as long as we have fun. The second effect of our genetic make up is that when males are attracted to females ,(they are our weakness and that’s not a secret), we tend to have this urge to win her. The satisfaction of winning over a woman can be compared to that of a hunter when he wins his trophy. The feeling of ,’yes, i’m a real man, i tracked my prey, out witted it and caught it’. Oh yes ladies, most of you women we are cheating with you are simply just trophies to us, just an addition to the collection. Another thing is we want it all physically. We want to sample a big woman, a skinny one, a yellow bone , a black beauty etc. Physically, we want to sample almost every type of woman there is.As I said before, Just because it’s in our nature doesn’t mean we should do it, no. What it simply means is that it takes a lot of self-control and discipline to control those urges, but then again, we all know that for most men, self-control and discipline are not their strong points. Even the most disciplined of men are bound to fall into temptation at least a few times cause 100% discipline is hard to maintain when you are constantly being bombarded by temptation. Yes, It’s hard to cheat if you don’t have anyone to cheat with but some women are desperate and tend to throw themselves at men, especially the established men, hence I said ‘bombarded by temptation’. When you say once a man has more money the tendency to cheat increases you are correct and the above is one of the reasons and the other reason is as follows. When the man had less money, he couldn’t really get the women he wanted, they were always out of his league so he stayed in his lane and ended up with you. Now that he can afford to date the women he always wanted, he will switch lanes, but since he can’t leave you behind, he will choose to cheat. I’m not defending cheaters, i’m just shedding a little light on the why they cheat.

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    • Albert, if I knew where you were I would come through and take you out for lunch! How informative is this!! Straight out of a man’s mind. I love it, I love it, I love the honesty and the rawness. I hope women all over the world get to read this because from where I am seated this is nothing but the truth. Thank you for reading and taking time to share your views, it’s a real breath of fresh air to hear how a man’s mind really works!

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