I know for a fact that each time someone cheats we are left with the big question WHY? Why would someone who claims to love you put you through pain you can never explain. I know us women go through a lot of theories trying to think what we could have done differently to stop our partner from cheating.
Today I am doing something different on the blog. I was having a conversation with a friend this morning and the topic of infidelity came up. He wishes to remain anonymous but I will share his thoughts on the subject. My comments are in italics but you can join in the discussion in the comments section.
Reason Number 1:
The biggest reason why most man will always cheat or cheat on their partner at least a few times is because its in our DNA. Whether you believe in Science Evolution Theory or The Biblical version of things, man in both backgrounds have always been known to have more than one partner. While change is inevitable and these days equality suggests that one man for one woman, the evidence is there that this is something that will likely never change because its deeply rooted within us. Men naturally have a huge appetite for women and pure satisfaction can unfortunately never be fulfilled by one woman.
This dude has some mad jokes!! Men have what? Oh, okay, so does this mean women don’t have a huge appetite as well? Who says only one man can satisfy a woman? While one can completely satisfy them say in bed, how do you know they satisfy her emotionally, financially or in any other department. It’s not just men who have an appetite darling, even some women feel that way but they have this one thing, CONTROL. You have to learn to control your desires, you can not have everything you want in this life.
Reason Number 2:
For historic reason, society is more accepting of a man’s transgressions in a relationship than it is for woman. And this is again closely related to reason number 1 where history shows that back then (and current as well in some cultures) societies accept that a man can have more than 1 partner. Most African cultures before western influence, believe(d) that a man can have more than 1 partner. This subconsciously influences some of our decisions to be unfaithful. “The all because I can” factor.
You see why I am not getting married anytime soon. It’s things like these. How do men feel so much entitlement. Kutoita hake chihure munhu achiti mungandidii? (Going on to cheat because he knows you can’t do anything about it) The unfortunate thing is that men know that most women will complain, cry and do all sorts when they find out that their men are cheating but very few will leave and in my opinion that just gives them more fuel to cheat on their partner. I think that if you want to be in an open relationship then go ahead and be honest about it from the get go and not say you are in an exclusive relationship but you can still get to be doing all sorts on the side. That’s unfair because men know very well that if the tables were turned they would not be amuse, AT ALL. Anyways, society, do tell me why we are allowing men to get away with cheating in broad daylight????
Reason Number 3:
Sense of dominance over their partner. Once a man starts to feel that “I have this one wrapped around my finger” It’s highly likely that he gets a big head and decides to have another woman enjoy what i have to offer. More often that not you do it knowing that even if you’re caught, you’ll twist in a way that she’ll forgive you.
I read this as when a man starts making money he starts feeling like he needs to get more women to spend it with…I don’t know about you guys.
They know our weakness!! They know we will continue to take back their lying and cheating asses back! What must happen now? Sometimes you think to yourself I am going to leave him but you think what are the chances of the next guy cheating as well and then you stay…I blame society. I remember the infidelity stories I would hear growing up and aunts and relatives would always advise whoever was going through the most that they had to stay strong because that’s what men do. Imagine all that emotional abuse that comes with cheating and someone just says “stay strong”? THE FUCK?
Reason Number 4:
This is the last reason. The most common reason why men cheat on their partners is because they are not satisfied. It can be because of many things but it all comes down to dissatisfaction. Please get me well, this is not directly to do with sex; although sexual dissatisfaction is one of the many reasons such as your character, your attitude, your physical features, the way you handle yourself, your dressing, the way you take care of yourself.
Then he goes on to say more jokes. How am I supposed to be taking care of myself when you are busy cheating on me? That will be the last thing on my mind isn’t? Dressing for who, for the why? You men never get satisfied, even if we do the most you will still do the most! Okay fine, maybe I am just being a tad bit dramatic here. I might have to agree with him on this one. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that some women tend to relax and let go of themselves because we know we are now hitched so need to keep working at keeping our men. We all know that one woman who used to be such a flame before she got married and once she was she has turned into this unkempt woman because well, she is married now so why go the extra mile? I guess things like that get to men and they start looking elsewhere. There is actually a Shona song that says something about your man will leave you if you stop taking care of yourself inside and out. That said, I think communication is of paramount importance because without that the next person will never know that they are doing something that is killing the vibe. This goes to both men and women!
The reason why men cheat can be one of the above. Though I can not substantiate this with any formal research that I have done or refer you to one that is out there. I would want believe that it is highly likely a man will cheat on partner in his lifetime.
I could safely say the same for women, read the story here.
There you have it ladies, from a man himself. What are your thoughts on this? Will you take back a partner after you found out that he was cheating? Would you still love him and trust them the same way? Would you cheat on them as well or just leave it at that? I have so many questions on this topic but I would like to hear from you. Let’s talk.