Compliments of the new season! We made it alive and in good health, that is the one gift that I am forever grateful for. This year I have so many things lined up in different aspects of my life but today I will be sharing my thoughts on how I want to raise Miss Kupsy. She is 5 years old now and I feel getting her to believe in herself from a very young age will do wonders for her as she gets older.
Effective parents give children roots to grow and wings to fly.
My daughter loves her music. She will sing along to Nickelodeon, Disney Junior and the whole bunch of songs and jingles they play on there. Let’s not even start with music videos. She likes that J.Lo Track “Ain’t Your Momma” but her version of the chorus leaves me in stitches all the time because she sings it as “I’m not going to cook your laundry I ain’t your momma!” She clearly doesn’t know what she is singing along to but gosh does she dance and sing away like the care free child that she is. You see, because she loves music I have made sure that I have bought her musical instruments. I got her a flute and tambourine. Her grandparents got her a drum, my sister got her a guitar for Christmas just a few weeks back. When I spoke to her this morning she was telling me she wants a Marimba set. I want her to explore her musical path and enjoy her hobby. You never know what will fire her soul as she grows so I might as well fuel it right now.
The time I grew up you didn’t have much choice when it came to what you wanted to be when you grow up. The options were limited. You were either supposed to be a Doctor, Pilot or Accountant in order to have “made it in life” so you can imagine how the rest of us possibly disappointed our parents seeing that we didn’t fulfill their expectations. I am a creative person and none of those titles were going to blend in with me. Unfortunately I only got to find this out when I was older and had already studied something I didn’t like but something that would pay the bills at least. When it comes to my daughter I want her to choose her own path. Of course I will give her input on the available options at the time but ultimately the decision will be hers to make because she will be the one who will have to study and eventually work in that field. Her happiness will always come first.
Most parents have that “You can’t do this” mentality which I find pretty disturbing. I mean, this is your child, why are you stopping them from greatness? You parent(s) should be your biggest cheer leaders. Even if you fail they should be right there to remind you that you can always try again. I want to teach and always remind Miss Kupsy that she needs to know the extent of her own abilities and that she can overcome problems in the world, she just needs to put in the time and the effort to make it happen.
Relationships and Marriage
By relationships I don’t mean just the romantic relationships. I am talking about how she will relate to her friends, family, school mates, teachers and at some point in her life her partner. My daughter is naturally a fun loving little person who finds joy in giving. I remember buying her ice cream the other day and she shared it with three of her friends and yet when they had theirs they didn’t offer her a single bite. A part of me wanted to tell her to not share but then again that’s out of character for her so I just called her aside and asked her to sit next to me while she at least had the half that was left. I didn’t know how to tackle this one. If I told her to not give her friends then I was teaching her not to share but at the same time if I didn’t she wasn’t going to eat any of that ice cream. What would you have done?
That said; I want her to always know that learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. I want her to be able to show love, to pray for discernment when it comes to the partner and friends she will choose. To show respect to everyone and their feelings regardless of their age. To say thank you, I’m sorry and I love you. With these things I strongly feel she will grow to be of strong character.
I also don’t want to be that doting mother, she must learn to be independent as well. With independence I want her to know that she does not have to get married. She can if she wants to but I will not put pressure on her to do so. I will teach her that life will go on whether one is married or not and if that will be one of the things she wants she has to remember that. I will love her all the same whether she will be single, married, divorced, whatever her marital status what will always matter to me is that she is happy.
That said, I have a lot more things I would want to talk about but this is my first blog post for the year and I would want you to come back for more so I will leave it here for now. If you would like to read more adventures my daughter gets up to you can read them from here.
I would like to hear from you. If you are a parent, how are you doing things differently raising your child? If you are planning on having kids how do you intend to have an impact on them? If you don’t have any kids how do you help those around you raise their kids? I know I left a handful of other points so please include some of yours in the comments section.