Have you ever noticed how no one is interested in you when you are single? You won’t even get a random “Hey babe how’s your day going phone call.” Okay, you will get a few suitors but trust me they aren’t as many as when you are in a relationship. The moment you are in a relationship it’s like it’s written on your forehead that you are attached. There seems to be something about someone who is attached that actually gets someone to want you more. Let me tell you a little story.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Chiedza. She had been single for close to 6 months and decided she was going to work on being a better individual. She had days that she missed being in a relationship and hoped her Prince Charming would come and sweep her off her feet. You see the thing is, she had been dating a guy(Let’s call him Tongai) for close to 5 years and when they broke up her world was a real mess because she was used to having him around. The first few weeks she decided she wouldn’t call or look for him but after two months she swallowed her pride and gave him a call. She told him she had made a mistake to break things off and wanted to try again because she was miserable without him and he was indeed the love of her life despite all the ups and downs they had. To her dismay he said he had moved on and wanted nothing to do with her. Her poor heart was shattered!
Well, at least she tried right? Alternatively she would have spent the rest of her life wondering what could have been if she had never made that call. At a loss and completely not familiar with being with anyone else she decided what the heck, she would go out and have herself a good time; if love comes her way or not so be it. The universe wasted no time and before she knew it she met a charming guy and they hit it off. She was happy again, she didn’t think she would ever feel that way after making one person her whole world. The one lesson she at least learnt for being single for a while was that you have to find happiness within yourself.
You would think that everything was rosy now that she had a new man in her life? Wrong! Thanks to social media and that excitement of being happy and in love she would post photos of her new man every other day for the world to see. Not a bad thing at all, I totally understand this feeling too well. Remember that Tongai who told her he had moved on, well, he saw how happy she was without him and started getting in touch with her. He would call her endlessly, surprise her with random gifts, tell her how much she had missed him and met up to have some explosive sex! Erm, and her relationship with her new man? It suffered in a very big way because now Chiedza was confused because on the one hand she had been with Tongai for so long and on the other hand she really thought that her new man was just what the doctor prescribed. Drama, drama!
In the end she decided she would string along her new man and decided to call it quits. He was obviously distraught but life has to go on. Chiedza then told Tongai that she was single and ready to be with him fully. Tongai’s reply, “I got married last weekend my girlfriend is pregnant.” Oh my word!! Did she just dump her new man to be with someone who was already married and never cared to tell her that there were such drastic changes in his life? She was at a loss for words! The good thing was that she never made a scene and said it was fine and walked away from the whole mess. She regretted every having entertained Tongai again after they had broken up, she regretted cheating on her man and most of all she regretted not realising that when an ex comes back into your life it’s rarely because they have good intentions for you.
Tongai never stopped trying to get in touch with Chiedza trying to tell her what a huge mistake he had made and how miserable he was. She changed numbers and never looked back. Years later Chiedza relocated and settled down and had a set of twin girls with her loving and ever doting husband. She was happy and was not trying to lose out on a good thing again!
Let’s talk relationships today. Have you ever been in a situation where someone from your past keeps coming back to steal your joy? What have you done to prevent that? If you have had friends who keep going back what advice have you given them? Lastly, why do we most people seem to have a thing for someone who is already taken?
I hope you are ready for the weekend as much as I am!