Often what feels like the end of the world is really a challenging pathway to a far better place.
At the time I really and truly thought I was going to die from heartbreak. I could already picture the cause of death on my Death Certificate “Died from a serious case of a broken heart.” This is the sort of shit that happens when you find yourself in a case of unrequited love. I’m just happy I still had an appetite because imagine trying to deal with your emotions and not eating at the same damn time!
When he left I suffered from a serious case of memory triggers. I would be doing the dishes and next thing I am in a flood of tears. I would lie in bed and think of how happy he probably was without me, more tears. I would take a walk to work using the route we used to use together and the rest of my day was absolute crap because more tears. People underestimate a broken heart. They just think oh there she goes, being dramatic. You go through pains you can’t even begin to describe. The one time I had to call my friend and tell her I was having a hard time because even my lunch breaks had become tearful. I don’t think I cried rivers those were oceans! I was in pain and hurting.
We pair ourselves up with people who we usually see are not good for us. I don’t know why we do it but we do it all the same! If you find yourself doing any of the things below run for your life, that kind of love is NOT good for (from my experience that is)
- You are the one always looking for your partner.
- You are going over and above to make the next person happy and lose yourself while you are at it.
- Your life stops; you neglect your friends and family and focus solely on your partner.
- You do any and everything in your power to make the next person happy.
- You over analyze things unnecessarily. Like when they were last seen on WhatsApp, why they haven’t replied your message, what they might be doing that’s stopping them from communicating. (Unrequited love can make you psycho!)
Where am I going with this again? Right, broken heart. If you do not value yourself and peace of mind you will find yourself in pretty messy situations. Be good to yourself and see the magic that can come from your relationships. I didn’t treat myself right and chose to be with someone I could clearly see was not in love with me and I still don’t understand why I was shocked when he left and never came back. Back then I really used to blame an ex boyfriend for hurting me but I took a step back and asked myself what part I also played in the break up and most times I realise it was a case of making poor decisions, I should have left when I still had the chance to do so. One lesson I learnt from a heartbreak is that…It’s important to experience the pain fully it’s the only way to completely heal.
Fast forward to today…I have completely healed from my past where relationships are concerned. I hold nothing against anyone I dated. I am in a happy and healthy space. I can actually have a decent conversation with the father of my child. I could not care less whether he keeps his word or not because I am in that space where I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and actions. If you are going through a heartbreak just know that it’s a phase and it too shall pass. It doesn’t sound true but trust the process, you will heal and you will come out stronger than before.
Love is beautiful, us human beings on the other hand…we do the most to make love look like such a terrible thing. When you get to that good space and you have that one special someone in your life, don’t let him or her pay for the one that once broke your heart. Everyone is different and who knows, maybe the next one will be the one who warms your heart again and let’s you see just how amazing it is to have someone whose got you!
Have you been heart broken before? If yes, what did you go through and who was there for you?