Heartbreak Is Real!

Often what feels like the end of the world is really a challenging pathway to a far better place.

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At the time I really and truly thought I was going to die from heartbreak.  I could already picture the cause of death on my Death Certificate “Died from a serious case of a broken heart.”  This is the sort of shit that happens when you find yourself in a case of unrequited love.  I’m just happy I still had an appetite because imagine trying to deal with your emotions and not eating at the same damn time!

When he left I suffered from a serious case of memory triggers.  I would be doing the dishes and next thing I am in a flood of tears. I would lie in bed and think of how happy he probably was without me, more tears.  I would take a walk to work using the route we used to use together and the rest of my day was absolute crap because more tears.  People underestimate a broken heart.  They just think oh there she goes, being dramatic.  You go through pains you can’t even begin to describe.  The one time I had to call my friend and tell her I was having a hard time because even my lunch breaks had become tearful.  I don’t think I cried rivers those were oceans!  I was in pain and hurting.

We pair ourselves up with people who we usually see are not good for us.  I don’t know why we do it but we do it all the same!  If you find yourself doing any of the things below run for your life, that kind of love is NOT good for (from my experience that is)

  1. You are the one always looking for your partner.
  2. You are going over and above to make the next person happy and lose yourself while you are at it.
  3. Your life stops; you neglect your friends and family and focus solely on your partner.
  4. You do any and everything in your power to make the next person happy.
  5. You over analyze things unnecessarily.  Like when they were last seen on WhatsApp, why they haven’t replied your message, what they might be doing that’s stopping them from communicating.  (Unrequited love can make you psycho!)

Where am I going with this again?  Right, broken heart.  If you do not value yourself and peace of mind you will find yourself in pretty messy situations.  Be good to yourself and see the magic that can come from your relationships.  I didn’t treat myself right and chose to be with someone I could clearly see was not in love with me and I still don’t understand why I was shocked when he left and never came back.  Back then I really used to blame an ex boyfriend for hurting me but I took a step back and asked myself what part I also played in the break up and most times I realise it was a case of making poor decisions, I should have left when I still had the chance to do so.  One lesson I learnt from a heartbreak is that…It’s important to experience the pain fully it’s the only way to completely heal.

Fast forward to today…I have completely healed from my past where relationships are concerned.  I hold nothing against anyone I dated.  I am in a happy and healthy space.  I can actually have a decent conversation with the father of my child.  I could not care less whether he keeps his word or not because I am in that space where I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and actions.  If you are going through a heartbreak just know that it’s a phase and it too shall pass.  It doesn’t sound true but trust the process, you will heal and you will come out stronger than before.

Love is beautiful, us human beings on the other hand…we do the most to make love look like such a terrible thing. When you get to that good space and you have that one special someone in your life, don’t let him or her pay for the one that once broke your heart.  Everyone is different and who knows, maybe the next one will be the one who warms your heart again and let’s you see just how amazing it is to have someone whose got you!

Have you been heart broken before?  If yes, what did you go through and who was there for you?

MaKupsy© 2017

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17 thoughts on “Heartbreak Is Real!

  1. My greatest fear is that I don’t think I would be strong enough to rebuild myself if I were to ever have my heart broken. I know the saying-better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all- but I just can’t wholly give myself to someone because I am afraid of the pain that the heartbreak will cause. Someday I may be able to throw caution to the wind and give in wholly. When that time comes, I hope I manage to meet someone who will be giving himself wholly to me too, so the heartbreak chances are minimized greatly.

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    • I think it is all up to the individual but I believe when true love hits you; its easy to forget about all the pain you once went through and fall in love again. That’s the beauty of meeting someone who will mend your heart. Unfortunately there is no formula when it comes to love, it’s a gamble…Thank you for reading 🙂

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  2. I was so heart broke when my relationship with the father of my child ended.To make matters worse I was 2months pregnant.The first few days were the worst.My family were amazing.especially my mom.She was my rock.Hanzi saka kuchema unosvika kupi.pick yourself up .be the strong woman I raised.I might not kno the pain you are going through but I feel the pain of a mother watching her child cry for a worthless man.Your child needs you to be strong not zvekuswero chema.With or without him in your life you will make it because I did not raise a weak child.With time I eventually got over the heartbreak and enjoyed my pregnancy. I told myself you can’t force someone to be in your life if e doesn’t want.such is life. We live and learn and become stronger at the end of it all. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.Am forever thankful to my family for being ther for me.

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    • Kerina! Give your mother a warm hug for me please. She was right. At the end of the day you may cry all the tears and feel sad and depressed but at some point you have to stop and be the strong woman you are. Heartbreak teaches us that we are able to go through crappy scenarios and come out stronger. After your first heartbreak you are never the same, you are wiser. I am happy you have healed and you had a support system, that is very important when you are going through a heartbreak. I hope you raise your child to be as strong as you, the world needs more people like you.
      Thank you for reading and sharing your story.

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  3. After 2 years of pure bliss and a night of a silly argument he left. I thought my world had come to an end. I just couldn’t deal. I remember filling up the tub with water and sat in there and cried my eyes out. Heartbreak is real guys, you go crazy. I could not bear the thought of not having him around, I mean this guy was the real deal, everything I wanted in a man was in him but now he was gone. It was hard I won’t lie but eventually things got better not that it was easy hey. If you are hurting and you feel like crying, please do because crying is very therapeutic. After everything has been said and done, we have to learn to get back on our feet and be strong, life has to go on guys because iye pamwe zvake zviri kufaya when your world is on a stand still. It’s not easy but you need to look for that strength to move on, it’s there inside you, you just have to find it and be willing to soldier on. I love reading your blog Makupsy, something I can always relate to

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your story Carol. Heartbreak pain can not even be described. You feel like the world is actually ending but eventually you get through the pain, difficult as it might be. I couldn’t agree more with you, crying helps, cry it all out until there is nothing left to cry.
      I am happy to hear that you enjoy reading my blog and I hope I will keep you coming back for more. Have a splendid day ahead 🙂

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      • Girl I’m always here. I didn’t know about your blog until like a week ago. I had to go through everything and I must say you are amazing. You have changed something inside me and thank you for that. I wish you the best in your endeavours.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been heart broken. I agree with those 5 points but i would like to add on that. When you find yourself making excuses for so called partner when people start asking about their actions, run for your life. What hurt me the most was the lack of closure. This line from DMX,’Too many Questions no Answers, stress’ on Stop being greedy explains what was going on. All I wanted was to have a sit down, chat and get some answers on how we got there, but no answers came. All i got were excuses. “Hee, I just lost the spark”, ” I don’t hate you, you are actually the best I ever had” and some bullshit I wasn’t interested in. It took me 18 months, a Girlfriend I had no feelings for what so ever and binge drinking to finally get over it. Some how I came out believing that you will never know how to love properly if you have never been broken. It has shown me that it is better to learn to love someone who loves you than to hope that someone who doesn’t, will learn to love you. Heartbreak is real.

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    • Do we ever really get closure? I think if you wait for someone to give you that closure it takes more time to heal. You have to go through all the stages of “grief” and once you start accepting the situation as it is you soon start feeling better. I am sorry to hear about your breakup. That broken feeling really steals your joy, you might be smiling and happy on the outside but inside you will be dying a slow death. I agree with you here, “it is better to learn to love someone who loves you than to hope that someone who doesn’t, will learn to love you.” It sure is the only way. Then again how do you know someone loves you more, what if they are just pretending to make sure you fall madly in love with them instead?

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    • Thank you for reading. I am sorry to hear that you are going through a heartbreak. In my experience that feeling should be put right next to 1000 Ways To Die! I can tell you that time heals all wounds but when you are experiencing it you won’t believe a word of it. I say feel the pain, allow yourself to cry, to go through every emotion and in time it will get better, you will be back to your old happy self again. Sending you lots of warm hugs.

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  5. Pingback: Heart break is real and so is God – Diana

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