I believe we all have that one thing that we know is an enemy of progress. It can be laziness, lack of faith, that one ex who calls and suddenly has you thinking of taking them back, the love for money and even sex! Being an adult comes without a manual but through experience you get to know yourself better and realise when certain temptations hit all that progress you had made is about to come crumbling down…
My love for natural sweet white wine will be the death of me! I just love it so much it may as well be my best friend. Last year my poison was Vodka but it came with stomach cramps the next day. I had an affair with red wine that didn’t last for long because I would have a splitting headache the next day. I finally decided to try out white wine and I absolutely loved it! I remember Chef Takura(single and very sexy but he has a beard so he isn’t a potential candidate) recommending it to me and it listening to him was the best decision I ever made. The one thing I love about white wine is I usually have it from the comfort of my warm bed and just after two glasses I am off to la la land. I prefer having it on the occasional weekend that way I don’t feel so guilty for indulging in something I know is an enemy of progress in the fitness department. I have a bottle all weekend though, that’s much better than having 3 bottles during the course of a weekend, yes, no? (trying to defend the error of my ways here)
I have had days were my whole day has been mapped by the things I have read, seen or watched on social media. There was a week when the #MenAreTrash hash tag was trending on almost all social media platforms. It was the most heartbreaking week of my life. The stories I read about what women go through left me feeling blue. I remember sharing my own story on my timeline and after that all the negative thoughts and feelings from the past came back to haunt me.
The very same platforms that bear sad news also come with beautiful things such as travel, love, relationships all wrapped in one. Now this stuff will make you wish you can order a partner just like the one you saw on Instagram! Don’t do it to yourself, take it from me. People will always show you the bright side of their lives and hardly ever the problems they are going through. Next thing you will contemplate breaking up with your partner because they have not taken you for a surprise getaway weekend to Italy, you will die from stress o! To make matters worse you can actually go an entire morning surfing through the internet giving yourself self inflicted stress. This is why you should stick to reading blogs like mine instead, nothing but good times only here. However, I have found a way to deal with this and that is by simply taking time off social media. Spend your time on other fulfilling activities that will not leave you green with envy or constantly comparing your life with the next person. Remember that comparison will steal your joy. Do not let this be your enemy of progress!
Negative energy is real. Ever noticed how some people just love to complain about any and everything and once you are done talking to them you wonder why you are feeling miserable. I am one person who values their peace of mind. There are so many things going wrong in our country that could easily send you straight to your death while you are asleep the last thing you need is spending time with a “Negative Nancy”. I understand that we all have problems and sometimes all you want to do is vent and get someone else to listen to you. That’s perfectly fine but it is NOT okay to vent for an entire day. Do you have any idea how that drains the next person? Please do not do it to your loved ones. If you decide to vent by all means do so but with all the venting make sure you come up with a solution to the problem together and act on it. No one wants to spend time with negative people, they steal your joy. Next time someone tries to ruin your day remember that it is your right to protect your peace and you can politely tell them to take their negative energy elsewhere.
I would love to hear from you. What are some of your enemies of progress and how do deal with them?
Hello and good morning; I hope your day has started off on a bright and beautiful note. If you follow my blog you are well aware that I also have a Fitness Blog that you should check out when you have time. Fitness is a huge part of my life and without it I probably would not have the amount of zeal I have for blogging. The two make a perfect match. This will be a fun read for you because it will take you less than 10 minutes to go through it, enjoy.
There is one main thing you can do when you have a break from work and that is rest. I know a lot of people managed to do that yesterday but for some of us who can never get enough of exercise it was a chance to meet up with like minded people and get some activities going. The start time was 9:00 am and that gave everyone enough time to get ready and possibly add an extra hour of sleep. I had done an 8K run before the event so there was no way I was going to go for a run so instead I watched over our bags while everyone went for a short 2K run.
The agenda for the day was to complete the entire alphabet as a group for the Spell Your Name Challenge. We really should have had someone take a video of this because the various forms people ended up doing were hilarious. It looks easy to do on paper but a different story when you actually have to do it. That’s the beauty of doing things in a group, you get to learn and unlearn things. I for one learnt that you can combine your burpees with mountain climbers and feel like death after wards (in a good way).
We ended up substituting burpees with skipping and speed runs because we were no longer doing them in the proper form. It was a lot of fun either way because we got to challenge our bodies in ways we never knew were possible.
I would like to personally thank everyone who came through yesterday:
- Onai : May I one day be able to do star jumps like that without wanting to pass out.
- Thembi : Even though the challenge was not easy you kept your good form for all the workouts.
- Jeff : Who knew you could combine burpees with mountain climbers, shout out to you for teaching us this trick!
- Archie : You had a cold but that did not stop you from coming through for the event and even playing basketball after the main agenda of the day.
- Samantha : The energy you have is out of this world, you should seriously consider being a sprinter.
- Kundi : You managed to run even though it is not your favourite form of exercise.
- Dumi : You arrived a little later than everyone else but you managed to join us and still play basketball afterwards.
- Memory : That push up variation was not something we expected after an hour of exercise but we loved it all the same. You still went on to play for your team at your netball match.
- Chenge : Girl those squat pulses you taught us are definitely going on my to-do-list. I hope this means my tush will grow at a faster rate because they are definitely something.
It was a great day filled with great vibes. The beautiful thing about this experience is that the ones who love fitness will stay coming through without need for a push. I can only write about fitness and tell you all about it but if you actually don’t get up and do the work you will never get results. At the end of the day this is all on you.
Do you have Fitness In The Park Events in your community? If yes, what is the experience like?
We have long since agreed that I am a lover of fine things so it will come as no surprise that I already got to check out the new joint in town, Chop Chop Brazilian Steak House. This was actually a surprise outing so I was not looking the part so there will be no filtered selfies in this post. The plus side of this place is that it’s right in town and just a 5 minute walk from my place of residence. I was excited to find out if they had better service than News Cafe Fife Avenue because this was going to determine if they will be my go to place when I am feeling lazy to cook.
I am one of those individuals who always asks the person waiting on me which dish I should try if I am at a new place. I didn’t want to have chicken, I have eaten it in so many different forms it’s the last thing I want to eat when I go out. She recommended I try out the Chop Chop Pizza. In the interim I ordered a cappuccino and I was disappointed when it came through. This cappuccino looked unhappy and malnourished; it didn’t even have a smiley face. I have seen happier cappuccino’s in my life to be honest. I am particular about the small details and this already got me less excited.
I took it in slowly while I waited on the pizza which surprisingly didn’t take long. I am sure the wait was just 5 minutes and it was ready. My Blesser Lite ordered chicken and chips and it was then that I realised there was nothing green in both our plates. When the waitress came we ordered a veggie mix and I felt so much relief because food doesn’t make sense for me if it isn’t colourful.
Prices for image above:
Cappuccino : USD2
Mixed Veggies : USD3
Chop Chop Pizza : USD8
The presentation was alright but the truth is when I took my first bite of the pizza I was not wowed. I always insist that if you eat out the experience must be a shock to the system. I mean what’s the point if you pay for a meal that doesn’t impress you, might as well not go right? I expected more from them, the way it had been hyped and the way I was excited each time I ran past the building watching renovations taking place during my morning jog… it was a real train smash.
We ordered dessert and I chose Apple Crumble because it tastes divine; they serve it with ice cream but I’m used to having it with custard but there is always room to try new things. The apple crumble did not disappoint, I loved every bite of it! I didn’t know how to combine it with the ice cream so I just had a spoonful here and there till I had finished it.
My Blesser Lite loves things and even though he insisted he was full after eating a whole half chicken and chips he ordered a chocolate cake which he didn’t finish because he complained that it was too rich.
I would have eaten the remaining cake myself if I still had space for it! I was stuffed. I only ate 2 slices of pizza, part of his chips and part of the salad and I was good. I had to ask the waitress to pack away my food because I had plans for it for today. I will probably have it for lunch. I ordered a glass of hot water with lemon because I felt too full and needed something to make the bloated feeling go away.
The few things I liked about the place were:
- The waitress was helpful
- The restaurant is clean
- The dessert was alright
- They have both a swipe and Ecocash facility
I did not like:
- The food was bland, we may as well have gone to Pizza Slice and had a better meal
- The ambiance was nothing to ride home about
- I don’t recall any music being played
- The experience was nothing out of the ordinary
I think the only thing that made the evening bearable was the fact that I had good company otherwise had I been on my own I would have not lasted 10 minutes in there. On a scale of 0-10, 10 being completely satisfied with my experience I will give Chop Chop Brazilian Steak House a 4. I would like to believe they are still new in town and probably after a few weeks in the business they will up their game. I have faith in them because it would be nice to come back to something that will bedazzle me.
In my opinion Chop Chop is Pizza Slice that went to Private School.
You never see it coming and the next thing you know unconditional love unconditional love; she ain’t looking for no diamonds and digging for no gold just somebody to love unconditional love…
I looooove me some Jah Cure. His music speaks to my soul. This is one of my favourite tracks by him and I can never get enough of it. The only side effect to this track is that it leaves me feeling all mushy, but a mushy good way.
What I have realised about love is that it comes when you least expect it. That moment when you are all relaxed, no “God send me a partner already!” thoughts on your mind, busy getting on with your life and BAM! LOVE HITS YOU. That kind of love is precious.
There are too many people in the world trying to be someone or something they are not or trying to feel things that they don’t feel. This has probably contributed to love not being as pure as it used to be or rather as it is supposed be. Most people have an agenda when it comes to relationships.
I would like to believe everyone wants that kind of love Jah Cure sings about but the biggest question I have for you is are you willing to give unconditional love?
P.S I know if Cyber Bae is reading this he is just rolling his eyes and saying “there goes Cupid’s Apprentice”; he calls me that because I still believe true love is out there somewhere, the only difference is only a few people get to experience it.
Love is serendipity.
Its 7pm, where are you?
Sorry dear, I’m running late.
I thought we agreed you would pick me up for dinner at 6:30 pm, like really, what’s up with that?!!
I’m on my way, I have just been delayed.
You know what, don’t come anymore, I can’t believe you made me wait this whole time; I’m going out with my friends instead!
But I’m nearly there.
No, forget it, actually, fuck this relationship, I’m done, if you can’t even keep time then what’s the point?
Can we just talk about this before you make such a drastic decision?
Within minutes he shows up, I jump into the car and there is nothing but dead silence until we reach our destination. I diagnosed myself as suffering from Anger Management Issues (Whatever those are) because the way I would easily get annoyed the heck was completely out of this world. I don’t know if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that I had a very patient boyfriend back then but because of him I learnt a thing or two about relationships.
The number one problem with me is that I don’t tolerate a lot of things. Be it poor hygiene, not keeping time, typos and grammatical errors; I know you think this one is absurd but I find it a real turn off if the person I am supposed to be dating bombards me with messages that have typos, I easily lose focus and stop replying their messages. If you think that’s being melodramatic it’s because you haven’t read my blog post titled Miss Petty. Unfortunately for me because I have become very set in my ways over the years it has become increasingly difficult to compromise. I blame staying on my own throughout my 20’s, I just don’t have room for someone else’s bullshit. Wait, what am I supposed to blogging about again? I think I am losing the plot, let me get back to the story at hand.
Seeing that we have been delayed we have missed our dinner reservation he decides we go to a laid back place instead and chill and have drinks and a meal. However, he doesn’t tell me this because he knows for a fact that I am fuming already as it is.
We get to the parking lot and he sighs heavily and starts talking…
I honestly don’t understand why you just won’t give me a chance MaKupsy. It’s been how many months now but each time I try to do something nice for you I am always greeted by being ignored or you simply tell me to take a hike. What you don’t realise is that I have fallen in love with you. I have tried so many ways to get through to your heart with zero luck. Despite all your flaws I still want to be with you but clearly I am losing the plot somewhere. Relationships are not meant to be easy and it seems like each time we have a problem you are ready to abandon ship. It’s not supposed to be like that sweetheart; we are in this together and the only way this can grow into something solid and meaningful is if we communicate and move forward without you always saying hauchandida. (I don’t love you anymore). Take today for example, when I told you I was running late you were already in defense mode and telling me you were making alternative plans. Why didn’t you wait for me to show up to find out the reason(s) why I had been delayed and then take it from there instead of automatically assuming that I am taking your time for granted? Tell you what, today is going to be a great evening and despite how it started off we are going to paint the town red, and no, you don’t have to say anything today, just take your time and digest what I just said.
He gets out of the car and comes to the passenger side of the car and opens the door for me like the gentleman that he is…
I never got to reply him in person on that day because did we have a great night out or what?! However, the talk we had before our date made me realise something. I had real underlying issues that needed to be dealt with. I figured that the biggest problem was that once upon a time I had given my EVERYTHING to someone who did not reciprocate and it left me spent. Each time I dated someone; at the back of my head I kept thinking that my current boyfriend was going to do something to hurt me so I always had my suitcase packed and ready to move on before I got my heart entangled in a relationship I assumed would leave me heart broken. What I didn’t realise was that I was doing myself more harm than good because after all was said and done I was the one missing out on a chance of happiness while holding onto past disappointments. How sad? In my head everyone was like my ex boyfriend(s) and I never gave them a real chance.
The universe had other plans though, she sent someone who was patient and understanding. Even though half the time we dated I threw major temper tantrums he still stood by me and taught me the art of communication and reminded me that there were still a few good men(5 of them and counting) with good intentions out there.
Show me a woman who doesn’t want a man with a plan and I will show you a liar! – MaKupsy 2017
Hello my lovings, it’s another beautiful day. I don’t know why this week I have been inspired to write about relationships. Maybe it’s a sign that I should be a Relationship Coach? It’s the only explanation I can think of really because lately I seem to have the answers to everyone else’s relationship problems except mine! Then again, it isn’t always a great idea to do the first thing that comes to mind right so let me stick to blogging and fitness for now.
The following deal breakers apply to both male and female so pay attention this might be the reason why one or some of your relationships have not worked out.
I don’t know about you but personally if the person who is supposedly pursuing me is not friends with taking a bath that might be an actual reason to go our separate ways. I think that we should all love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies and that includes basic things like taking a bath, brushing your teeth, cutting your nails, flushing after yourself when you leave the toilet and wearing clean ironed clothes!! It might sound basic on paper but some people couldn’t care less and go around looking like they just walked out of a maize field and expect to get a partner looking like that?
Inability To Spend
Now before you raise your eyebrows I am not talking about a man spending money on a woman. I am talking about an individual spending money on THEMSELVES. This right here is an actual cause of concern because if you are not occasionally spoiling yourself with the finer things what are the chances of you doing the same for a partner if you end up with one? However, this can work either way because one may not necessarily spend on themselves but will spend on their partner…BUT it’s very rare that this happens; it’s complicated really.
Drive & Ambition
Show me a woman(man) who doesn’t want a man with a plan and I will show you a liar! As you get older relationships become less of “Let’s see how this goes” and more of “What’s the plan between us”. By plan I don’t mean a couple getting marriage which is a great idea by the way. In this case I mean a plan to work together and encourage each other to reach personal and couple goals. A plan for what your day, weekend, month or year together will look like. Nothing brings a yawn fest as much as having a partner who has no plan whatsoever for the team. Remember a relationship is a team effort and if you are the only one driving the team you will get tired and that right there will be the beginning of many problems to come. I once had a conversation with a friend who told me that in order for people to have less stress in relationships they should try and pair up with people who “mirror them”. Loosely translated to be with someone who has dreams, aspirations and the same energy as you do that way you will be team players and not have a situation of a pilot and a passenger in the relationship.
This has to be the biggest deal breaker for me. If you are in a relationship feelings change for the worst or the best and that is perfectly okay. It is always best to communicate how you feel about the next person because even though some of the honesty might hurt it saves a couple time. For example, if you fall out of love with someone don’t keep quiet about it and hope things will change. Sometimes all you need to do is talk about it with your partner and find ways to bring back the fire. If that fails then do the adult thing and break up amicably. Most people choose to keep quiet about how they feel and end up cheating and hurting more people than necessary in the process. If you are about this relationship business then you have to start getting your communication skills in tip top shape.
We were all brought up differently and when you get into a relationship this is the first thing you need to remind yourself. What might be perfectly normal to you might be foreign to the next person. You have to be patient and get to learn what you are both about but it doesn’t mean you have to stay on if you are unhappy. Your happiness comes first and after you have tried everything to try and blend in it’s fine to walk away and take care of yourself.
These are the four main deal breakers for me. What are yours?
I know I didn’t add cheating but it’s so cliche everyone says they won’t tolerate cheating but most people end up putting up with it when they find out but that’s a story for a completely different day.
Today, let’s talk about what will stop you from dating that one person you have your eye on?
Love her or hate her, the other woman exists and chances are she will continue to exist till the end of time. I’m not saying your boyfriend or husband has her; not all men are cut out for that. However, if you are one of the unfortunate few he has one and it is highly likely that she is not going anywhere anytime soon.
I was the other woman, once upon a time…how did I end up there? A case of a long distance relationship gone wrong and after that I told myself I was not going to do relationships until further notice so a situationship was more ideal for me then. Couple that with insecurities from a failed relationship and not realising my worth, I easily settled for being the other woman in a heartbeat. I used to enjoy the thrill of the secret relationship, the attention was priceless because he would try to compensate for the time he was not able to be with me.
This is a phase in my life I look back to and ask myself what the heck was I thinking? But you know what they say, everything that happens to you is a learning curve. Thankfully that phase only lasted a short while and was over before it even started because I clearly could not stand being an option in his life. Believe me when I tell you that kind of emotional stress is not good for anyone, at all! Ask me if I will ever travel down that road again? The answer is a definite NO! It was a phase I am not proud of to date.
That is one of my favourite tracks by Changing Faces – The Other Woman and they are mainly singing about why they are no longer willing to share a man because they have finally realised what they deserve. (love is not so blind after all) However, not all women share the same sentiments because below are a few who are currently the other woman and not complaining about it.
“I enjoy the financial benefits that come with being the other woman, I have never worked a day in my life and “my husband” provides me and our children with everything we need.” Small House
“Sex with someone who isn’t my boyfriend every once in a while is a thrilling experience, you know what they say about variety being the spice of life.” The SexAHolic
“There is a sense of adventure, things done in secret give me an adrenaline rush and I got hooked to it I simply can’t stop.” The Side Chic
“I don’t have to worry about attending funerals, washing his clothes, cooking for him, I get to see him at his best and get to spend quality time with him.” The Cougar
“I get my rent paid, my child taken care of, endless outings, someone to sponsor my drinking habit and never having to worry about how I am going to put food on the table, that’s his job!” The Alcoholic
“Since we don’t see each other often when I do see him there is no time for fighting, I always look forward to seeing him.” Miss No Pressure
“I have been lied to and deceived one too many times, it is better to be with a married guy who won’t make empty promises to me.” Miss Content
“I have my own money, I can take care of myself but I don’t have the time for a full on relationship. I only see him as and when I am free because I have a busy schedule so being the other woman works for me.” Miss Independent
Relationships are complicated if you let them be, but from my experience being the other woman never ends well. It seems for the women above it is working to their advantage and they are happy. I say, life is too short so one must do whatever makes them happy as long as it gives them sleep at night.
What’s your take on the “other woman”? I am happy to read on both negative and possibly positive things you have to say about her in the comments section below.
Apparently dating is for the emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially ready. Emphasis on financially. Dating costs money but that doesn’t mean it has to break your bank. There are different activities you can enjoy with your partner that will leave you both happy and your wallet smiling. Fancy dress up and expensive dates are lovely but they certainly can’t be an everyday thing, sometimes all you need is to get back to the basics with that special someone in your life.
I have a list of 8 different ideas that I think you should try out. You know I recommend nothing but exciting things so make sure you try out at least one of them; you can thank me later.
- Picnic. You can do this from anywhere actually, just let your creative juices flow. Picnic at the back of a truck, the balcony of your house, at the local park or depending on how daring you are; on the roof top. I would suggest you try out a sunset picnic which can later turn into a star gazing date. I am such a romantic, I know!
- Movie. If you stay in Harare then happy days. You can take advantage of the half price Tuesday deal at the movies and pay for two people for the price of one. Add the Terrific Tuesday pizza deal and you have both a movie and a meal in one date! It will cost you give or take USD15 what’s not to love?
- Coffee. It’s winter this part of the world and any date that guarantees to keep you warm is more than welcome. Cake at my favourite coffee place is USD3 a slice for any cake of your choice and coffee is USD2. It will give you a chance to enjoy as many cups of coffee as you please because the cake slices are huge and one cup of coffee will not do justice to it.
- Cook. Nothing like a home cooked meal made with tender loving care. The plus side of cooking together is that you and your partner get to bond and have some intimate time together. Instead of spending a lot of money eating out you can get your favourite ingredients and prepare your favourite meal plus dessert!
- Ice cream. Now this is the best date idea ever because ice cream doesn’t cost much. You will just have to make sure it’s a sunny day so that you get to enjoy the beautiful weather together with your ice cream and get to take a nice stroll together and hold hands. When was the last time you did that?
- Fun Run. There is always a run of sort taking place. Just so you know, I host Fitness In The Park events every month and they are FREE. Exercise will give you a chance to challenge each other and also release those feel good hormones. Aaaaand, I read somewhere that exercise and great sex are best friends 🙂
- Drinks. Become a mixologist for the night. Take a trip to the liquor store and get your favourite alcoholic beverages. Instead of going out on that Friday night stay at home and experiment with different alcohol mixtures. Make sure you create a music playlist that will have you dance the night away. The great thing is that if you pass out you will be in the comfort of your home.
- Comedy. I know King Kandoro hosts Comedy Shows every Tuesday for free. On other occasions his shows go for USD2. There is no excuse not to go for something that will leave you in stitches. Comedy is a sure way to look at life from the fun side and if you two are trying to bring some laughter back into your relationship this is a way to forget about the fighting and get some humour into the mix.
I hope you try out these ideas and let me know how they work out for you. By the way, the ideas are open to both men and women. Ladies, surprise your man with one of these dates sometime soon and men, if you have not been taking your girlfriend out perhaps this list might help.
What activities do you get up to in your area that don’t break your budget? I would love to hear them.
I have some saving tips from a single mother who is in her 40’s. I think everyone will benefit from this post and I took this pretty seriously because she clearly has more years experience on raising a child single-handedly. Take out your pen and paper…
- Cut your hair, imagine the amount of money you are spending on hairdos that you could be saving for better use for you and your child.
- Live within your means.
- Do not compare yourself with people who are married, they have a double income you only have one, stay in your lane.
- Save some money each month, it doesn’t matter how little, trust me it will go a long way.
- Do not buy on credit, especially clothes, save to pay everything with cash.
- Take a lunchbox to work with healthy home made meals or sandwiches.
- Make friends with women in a similar situation who understand your struggles better.
- Do what works for you, do not try to please anyone.
- Set targets for yourself and make sure you reach them, it might take time but eventually you will get there.
- Learn how to sew, simple things like replacing a button and hemming your pants will go a long way for your pocket.
If you live by most of these rules you might actually get round to going for that holiday you have been dying for!