Love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience in this lifetime if it’s reciprocal. However, if you are one of the unlucky few who got served a huge dose of unrequited love you will know exactly how much pain can come from it.
Thankfully over the years I have had the chance to reflect and take note of some of the mistakes I made in the past where love was concerned. In the past I have paired myself up with people who actually did not love or care about me. I saw the signs and chose to ignore them. A slight sign of concern was automatically mistaken for love. For me love had to make my heart go pitter patter, lose my senses, lose sleep and have me going through extremes of happiness and sadness. That was clearly a lot to take in in the name of love.
I used to be a bitter woman, I was mad at the world. Mad that I loved someone who did not see all the things I did in the name of love. More than anything I was mad at myself for not seeing something was not good for me and simply walking away when I still had the chance to do so.
I am happy to say that what I view love to be has completely changed. For me love will not leave me close to feeling a panic attack, love will complete me, love will give me a warm, calm and confident feeling towards my partner. I don’t think I still get butterflies, maybe it’s an age thing; but I certainly feel that this is right when I am with the perfect match.
I no longer feel anything towards the man who once shattered my heart to irreparable little pieces; I am indifferent towards him. You will be surprised to note that this very song used to bring me to tears each time I listened to it but now I listen to it and recall that it used to be his favourite song. Through it all in as much as things didn’t work out between us we had our happy moments. They didn’t last but for the season they were supposed to they brought a smile to my face.
It’s important to take a step back whenever you get the chance to and find out where you go wrong. It’s easy to sit down and blame the world for things going wrong in your life when most times you are the very source of your own pain. You can’t choose who you love though you can try very hard to make sure you love someone who at least feels the same way about you.
I have made it my personal mission to continue to grow myself in love. How? By doing things that bring me joy, filling my days with happy moments, understanding that not everyone will understand the intensity that comes with me and above all else to keep learning and unlearning habits that might hinder my progress. Not everyone will understand what I am about but the right one will know that I am amazing just the way I am.
We live yes, but how many of us actually take time to learn?