“Friends are like breasts, you’ve got big ones, small ones, real ones, and fake ones.”
I’m that one person who has very few friends. I can safely say I have just 5 close friends and it’s a great feeling; I have way less drama in my life thanks to that. These friends are in trouble though, we share the most random life experiences and I promise you if anyone went Over the years I have lost and found new friends at different phases of my life but one thing stands true, all of my friendships have come with both positive and negative lessons which I will write about at a later time. Today let me share my thoughts on how you can keep the sparkle in your friendship.
Friendships just like relationships take a lot of work. Thankfully technology has made life easier for everyone and most people have access to WhatsApp, Skype, phone calls, social media platforms, think Facebook; there really is no excuse not to stay in touch. If you plan on staying friends for a while you have to make sure you take regular communication seriously.
Spending Time Together
Yes ladies, you know how we always complain about that guy who only texts but never makes an effort to meet up and see you on a face to face date? No prize for guessing that the same thing applies to friendship! Make an effort to meet up in person as often as you can to do activities you both like. I know one of my close friends has a “no phones policy” when we go out on dates, she believes it’s important to give each other 110% attention when we finally get to spend time together because cellphones are generally disruptive and I now completely agree!
There is a huge difference between catching up and suffocating your friend. Don’t be that friend who doesn’t understand the art of leaving someone alone with their thoughts. It’s perfectly fine to go a day or two without talking to a close friend, life is happening to all of us and sometimes spending an entire day chatting away about nothing is not the most productive thing to do. It’s welcome on most days but certainly not on all days. If you are this person, please give your friend some space.
I would have said gifts but everyone’s language of love is different. I remember the one time I was crazy in love about shoes and my best friend Tanya, who happens to be all the way in South Africa got me a pair of designer heels for my birthday. I was in tears of joy the entire day thinking of how she planned for weeks to get the shoes to me on my birthday without ever showing a hint of what she was up to. She knows my language of love is all things pretty if that’s even a language but she gets me. You know what your friend values the most, whatever it is, make an effort to go out of your way and get it done for them. Here’s a free idea, get someone to clean their house and do their laundry and iron it so that they come back home they get back to a sparkling clean house!
*P.S. Surprise money is also nice*
If your friend is always in agreement and never questions your choices or decisions is that even a friend? At some point you will mess up and you will need someone to hand it out to you in black and white, no sugar coating, no playing nice; just the hard truth. They will also give you advice on how best to deal with a situation because criticism without a way forward is pointless. When your friend is losing the plot be the one to remind them, good friends look out for each other.
Grow in all aspects. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. What’s the point of being friends if you remain exactly the same? Most of my friends are book worms, they are always studying for some programme of sort and it’s only natural that it rubs onto me. The last time I was on a coffee date with Chenge she encouraged me to take up an online course which I delayed on taking any action on until a few weeks ago. You see, our lunch dates are productive after all!
These are my top tips on how to keep the spice in your friendship. I know there are a lot more of where those came from but I would like to hear from you. What do you do to maintain the friendship connections in your life? I’ve observed that men don’t seem to do a lot of work to maintain their friendships. How do you men do it? Please share your secrets!
That said, when it comes to the sort of breast friend I am, I’m right up there with the “real breasts, have you seen the size of my breasts?! *insert forever laughing emoji here*