To Give Or Not To Give Your Girlfriend A Monthly Allowance?

Girlfriend  Giving Directions To Her Boyfriend

“Come to the front gate of my apartment where you dropped me off.  Look for flat 9A, you’ll find a lift on your right.  Hit 9 with your ELBOW.  Get out of the lift, you’ll find my flat on the left.  Hit the doorbell with your ELBOW and I’ll get the door for you.”

Boyfriend says: That seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Girlfriend: “OMG! Are you coming empty handed?”

Boyfriend: (speechless)

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I thought this was hilarious because some men are famous for visiting their girlfriends with just dick and hairy balls, like can we throw those in a pan and fry them for supper?  Women are not saying buy them something everyday but why not think outside the box for a change and surprise a lady with something she likes??

One of my contacts sent me that joke on WhatsApp last night and it gave me an idea to blog about this morning.  Let’s talk about Bae Allowance shall we?

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Photo Credit Theo & Essy

Bae Allowance – Money a guy gives his girlfriend at the end of each month for her random needs.

Let me first give you my thoughts on the subject matter.  This might end up being a lengthy blog but I promise you will enjoy it.  Let me tell you a bit about my very first boyfriend.  That guy treated me like a little princess.  He never missed a birthday, anniversary, special event, good or bad moment.  We were through it all through thick and thin.  The whole 5 years that we dated I never asked for a single dime of his money.  He just did things because he wanted to and not because I had to beg and plead for him to do so.  Maybe because back then I was younger and had less problems but I believe even if we had stayed together he was still going to be that guy who takes care of his woman without her throwing tantrums about it.  After dating other people after him I can safely say that people are different and just because he went above and beyond for me doesn’t mean the next guy will do the same.

For that reason I have since learnt to accept that one should always live within their means and not expect the next person to cater to their every single need.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your man should not spoil you but you don’t have to convince him to do so, he has to do so on his own accord.  Guys already know that a woman needs to be pampered every now and again and so if he isn’t doing it for you it’s either he doesn’t want to or he is just not that into you (JUST KIDDING).  I for one would not want a fixed monthly allowance though, that’s just tacky because if the tables were turned trust me I would not be paying anyone an allowance for being a part of my life.  I have a daughter on my  payroll as it is, I don’t think I can make anymore additions to that!

I asked a few friends; both male and female about their thoughts on Bae Allowance and these were their thoughts:

The ladies said:

  • I think if it’s a serious relationship it’s not meant to be an obligation; both are meant to help each other out.  In a case were both work rather do  things for each other than give each other money otherwise it will seem like it’s all about money.
  • l feel most guys should give their girlfriends bae allowance.  That way  you avoid having to constantly say “Baby my hair is a mess l need money, baby my nails what not.  Just give her the monthly allowance so that you don’t stress each other out every other week.  IT’S NOT A MUST THOUGH.

The guys said:

  • There should not be a fixed mandatory Bae Allowance in a relationship.  It is of paramount importance that an individual be self sufficient that way I can chip in here and there.  It’s important to take care of your partner (what you don’t do for her, she will find someone else who can) but it should not be made out into a big deal when I can’t do it all the time.
  • If you’re my girlfriend don’t ask me for anything that costs $5 or less because what were you doing for money before we started dating? Now you suddenly want my money.  I should feel like spending on you willingly.  I’m not a bank and understand that when I say I don’t have money most of the time I genuinely don’t have because money is hard to come by.  I will spend on her but allowance I don’t do… It’s like I’m paying you to be my girlfriend!

There you have it.  Both sexes have voiced out their opinions.

As an addition I just had to say this.  Fine, I know I am not for a woman actually getting to be on her boyfriends payroll but some of these guys are cheap skates.  If you actually don’t even ask him to buy you anything he will actually continue to do so and not see anything wrong with that.  Let me ask the guys a question.  How are you going to date your girlfriend for a whole year and not once surprise her with a set of sexy lingerie?  So you are an expert at taking off her clothes but not buying her anything to add sexiness to her lingerie collection??  Also, why do some guys just want to take women out for drinks when the same amount can be used for a proper lunch, dinner or better still coffee date?  Okay fine, that is completely off topic now.

This is the part I say goodbye.

My friends from the Podcast world got excited about this topic and touched on the subject.  You can listen in from here.

©MaKupsy 2018

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45 thoughts on “To Give Or Not To Give Your Girlfriend A Monthly Allowance?

  1. Jeez, there is an allowance now? Clearly I have been single a lot longer than I thought! My two cents now that I know this exists-it cannot be mandatory. That just kills the romance of it, no? I would love to get back into the dating scene looking mostly for love and companionship. If that comes with a few new pairs of shoes then that’s just an added bonus.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Make that two pairs please 🙂
      People are in relationships for all the wrong reasons now if you ask me. As far as I am concerned if you are in it for love nothing else matters, I hope…
      And yes, it should not be mandatory, all things done freely give the best feeling ever!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I like this surprise lingerie idea, something to add instead of subtract. Never thought of it that way before. But bae allowance, that’s a no no for me..the random lunches, goin out day or night, getting him a smoothie, now that’s what we do. No financial obligations towards each other (yet,lol..marriage will take care of that)

    Love that couple in your photo btw😘

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for reading Essy and thank you for the lovely photo you allowed me to feature on my post. You two look amazing together 🙂
      I love that you guys do that for each other, it makes you want to keep doing more to keep a smile on your persons face because they remember the random things that make you smile. And the lingerie idea is a great idea, most people never think about it but sharing is caring right?

      Like

  3. Hmmmm this is a sensitive topic. Lol. i don’t mind getting a bae allowance as long there’s no strings attached to it. If I have to earn that allowance somehow no thanks. I won’t say no if I receive it, but I won’t ask for it. It shouldn’t be a girls basic amount. It’s extra cash to do your hair, because you want to look babe why not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha I like the part you said “I won’t say no if I receive it.” I love the honesty there. Thanks for reading Sheryl and yes you have to keep looking nice all day everyday.

      Like

  4. Quite an interesting read. An in my opinion, as a guy, there’s something special about that look of happiness when you randomly surprise your girl. It makes your day, to say the least. The power of surprise is stripped from the relationship as the allowance is now an obligation, a means to get that oh so lovely smile like the time you randomly surprised her. What happens when one has a rough month and can’t provide that allowance? One should always live within their means, this allowance should be willingly given by the man (without request). Teamwork makes the dream work, imagine what could be done with that allowance money if the receiver herself, instead of expecting that money made means to get money of her own. That money that went to allowance could be used to suprise her with a special date or she could add to it and a weekend away could be funded.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Victor. Thank you for your contribution. I agree with you. At the end of the day its not anyones right to get an allowance when they are in a relationship. In my opinion one must do things out of the goodness of their heart, that way there won’t be any regrets when things go sour. once you start dating someone and you know them inside out you will know what they need without them having to ask. This goes for both the men and the women…I hope I’m making sense.

      Like

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  6. I enjoyed this blog, mainly because it is something which I am learning to get by with as I grow up. I have always been raised to be self-sufficient and independent, depending on no one else but myself (I actually wrote a blog about this a couple of months ago about independence being tiring). But the person that taught me this was my single mother, someone who had no choice but to depend on herself. But if I am in a relationship, I should not be suffering. In fact, I do not want to suffer, my partner should be able to assist me as I do too when things are not going right on his end. I am not so sure about the monthly allowance thing, it actually does sort of seem like the man is paying to be with this person, but being able to rely on your man when going through a rough month is the best feeling that every girl deserves. That is what true relationships are made of, a strong partnership that can withstand any financial situation that threatens you. And of course, the random gifts….women in relationships should not have to worry about this sort of stuff. Its all about knowing how to not settle for less right? Well a man who doesn’t do nice things for you or help you out when in need? That’s settling for less than you deserve….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Sihle, thank you for reading and the thought provoking reply. I love how made me look at this Monthly Allowance from a different perspective especially the part you said ” but being able to rely on your man when going through a rough month is the best feeling that every girl deserves.” It’s very true, I actually once broke up with someone over this. I felt it was an unbalanced relationship. I didn’t expect him to do much but when I was in an actual fix he rarely ever helped me out and that really got to me. It was not a partnership after all. I think at the end of the day what matters is establishing yourself as an individual and if someone else does or doesn’t do things for you all will be well. BUT we are women, we love surprises, it wouldn’t hurt to be spoilt rotten every once in a while. Please share the link on the blog post you wrote on being Self Sufficient.

      Have a lovely Friday ahead 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. So I guess Ima a 👌🏽 little late to the conversation. I work a pretty decent salaried job – good enough to save and have a lot of disposable income but in frugal. My last relationship, she didn’t get an allowance per se, but she got things so frequently and cash on hand that it might as well been. That was a relationship that had a physical element.
    Since rededicating my life to Christ, I have a new, non-physical relationship. The money I would want to spoil her with goes into a savings account and she gets surprise gifts on a regularly irregular basis. Yea that’s a new one. I’ll be honest, I’m the kind of guy that takes care of whomever he’s involved with. So, when she finishes her Master’s, 20% of her account will be gifted to her. That’ll send her on a vacation. If we break up, I’ll just go buy some new clothes and shoes with her money lol. #WinWin for the #BaeAllowance

    Liked by 2 people

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  9. No to Bae Allowance!! Lol.

    On a serious note though I believe being a girlfriend or partner isn’t a job so there’s no need for some sorta remuneration aligned with that. Yes, we should spoil our ladies every now and then. No biggie there.

    My parents raised me to be a gentleman who pays the bill, opens the door for the lady, etc but they definitely didn’t raise me to pay a woman to be in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Which is fair and fine but what are your thoughts on taking care of your girlfriends hair, random airtime, surprise groceries chi chi not an actual allowance.

      See sometimes how a guy treats you when you are still dating gives you a preview of what he will be like when he marries you. Yes or no?

      Like

  10. i must say this is a very interesting piece. even though it isnt compulsory i feel men should help their gfs.
    I lost my job few months back and my boyfriend has been giving me money every month which I don’t ask.
    I asked him why he wasn’t doing that when I had a salary. he said it was because our relationship was young,getting to know me.he has never asked for sex too so I think he’s simply in love.love should make people do things without thinking about what to get in return

    Liked by 2 people

    • I like your boyfriend very much, he should put a ring on your finger and I will totally come for your wedding 🙂 I agree completely, do things without expecting anything in return and your relationship will go a long way.
      Thank you for reading and have a lovely day ahead.

      Like

  11. Ha ha ha aiwa guys, haisi mhosva kudanana nemunhu – munhu ngaazviitre. It’s muuuch nicer if the gifts are random surprises, thoughtful and not demanded

    Liked by 2 people

    • I completely agree and it’s even better if the gifts are something the next person will appreciate.
      A great example, I’m a blogger, send me data bundles and I’ll be happy for days!

      Like

  12. I don’t believe in allowance. The person I love I do for. I don’t go empty handed. I try to go with food. To get food when we re together. To help out if she has any challenges

    This is my only problem. I should have the common sense to know that I should help out but some girls can come to your house (not so clean pachi Bachura) and leave yakadaro. Kana kutsvaira or dishes. Handichatotaura washing.

    If you feel helping me out with the stuff I can’t do or dislike doing is _kuitisiwa_ then why can’t my helping you out be termed the same.

    Let’s all give each other Baenefits

    Liked by 2 people

  13. i am not a fan of a “salary based relationship” its weird for me. i agree that a guy should do whatever he can to make his woman happy and feel loved and yea that takes using money. as for the qsn of drinks vs lunches, honestly women should pitch in when it comes to ideas, send a flyer or something cz sheysh as a dude u wld be struggling on date ideas. lastly , i think that men have a problem cz of the lack of balance in relationships, as a lady dnt be a burden and dont make me feel like i am now your guardian, men spend more freely when its not a demand and when they sometimes get

    Liked by 2 people

    • You killed me at “salary based relationship”!!!
      But women always send signals when it comes to ideas it’s only a few who get them I suppose.
      You’re right, there must be balance and not always monetary hey. Maybe your bae cooks fire meals and doesn’t mind running few errands for you. Stuff like that.

      Like

  14. Nah, bae allowance shouldn’t be a thing. There’s no reason either one should make an obligation every month in the form of money/gifts to give to each other, hazvishande izvozvo…if bae feels like spoiling me, awesome! Chocolates, movie date, lunch, a cute top, great, but let it be out of his love for me, not as some sort of tax. Relationship Agreement doesn’t cover all that. Likewise, if I want to spoil bae, it shouldn’t be because he asked but because I wanna 🙂 Bae allowance(if it exists, which clearly it does for some relationships) must fall!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was happy and nodding until I read bae allowance must fall.
      I’ll forgive you because today is Friday so you’re probably very excitable 🙂
      Thank you for sharing your views and I do agree, let people spoil each other because they want to not because they have to.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Thanks for your blog, I have been thinking about this intensively since my girlfriend mentioned it to me. For some reasons pointed out by others, I have been feeling very indifferent about it. But, after everything that I have read, I have settled on a response of sorts. I will explain to her that I can’t do a “bae allowance” because it’ll only serve to make me feel disillusioned about what we have, instead, I will suggest that she should just come to me when she wants to get stuff that she cannot afford within her normal monthly budget (clothing, cosmetics, hairdo) and I will pitch in and give her the money for that (and yes, I have her draw up a monthly budget to control her impulse spending, lol, I do the same for myself of course).

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad this post helped you come up with a solution. You’ve chosen the right approach and while you’re at it the moment you find out how much say her hair goes for then maybe surprise her here and there with hairdo money, how’s that?
      Thank you for stopping by, it’s always lovely to hear my readers thoughts 🙂

      Like

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