Getting into a relationship is easy, staying in one is a whole different ball game. Times have changed, options aplenty and the moment things go wrong most couples are quick to give up and walk away from each other without ever taking time to work on each other instead. There are so many different platforms you can hook up with someone and start over and completely forget about your former relationship; but is that really how things should be like? From my personal experiences in the past you can walk away yes but you will walk into a new relationship and still face the same problems with a different person. Perhaps before you choose to end a relationship you need to ask yourself what qualities attracted you to the once was love of your life and find good reasons to stay.
Do you enjoy each other’s company? Are you the sort of couple that can go out all weekend party hard and have the best time ever. Or you’re the couple that can spend the day at home cooking, catching up, watching a good movie or whatever you both enjoy and still have a good time? Whatever the case might be the way I see it if you two are friends before anything else chances of weathering any storm that comes your way are very high. Love will fade eventually but friendship will likely last forever; at least I hope it will.
Everyone knows that the first few weeks of sex as a new couple is non-stop. Once you finally decide you’re both ready it’s like the only thing you two get up to. Over time (if your relationships gets to last long enough) you’ll be more comfortable and no longer be having sex for the orgasms and focus more on exploration and pleasuring each other. Something called sexual compatibility is a thing and if you find that you two are the lucky few to have that hold onto it. It’s rare to find.
Starting Over Is A Chore
So…what’s your favourite colour? Oh my word! If I ever have to go through that sort of conversation again I promise I’ll stab myself to death with a spoon. That stuff is tiring. I don’t want anyone else to know what my favourite colour, food, music is or what I like to do with my weekends. The whole process of getting to know a completely different person is a lot of work I’m not willing to put in. I’m good thank you very much. I’ll stick with my partner and find new ways to annoy him instead.
If you’re a completely different person since you met your current partner then why would you even think of leaving? Have they taught you a new skill, helped you look at life from a different lens, challenged you to be better, upgraded you not only financially but physically and spiritually? If you answered yes to most of these then why are you entertaining such negative thoughts? There’s no such thing as breaking up, you’re going to work through this shit together.
I know you thought of money when you read this but for me money is a bonus. From my viewpoint emotional security is one of the reasons I would stay in a relationship. Nothing beats knowing that you’re with someone who has your best interests at heart, someone you trust and someone who is emotionally available. It’s not easy going through life on your own but if you’re the lucky few to have a partner with these qualities be thankful and also take notes from them so that you too can reciprocate when the need arises.
Choose to love everyday.
I wrote this post with my late colleague Itai in mind. She died in her sleep two months ago; she had a heart condition. We sat right next to each other in the office and everyday we had new stories and fashion tips to share. She was such a lovely person and when she passed on I struggled for weeks. I couldn’t believe I was never going to see her again. She was a big sister to me. She always used to say that life was short and that we should celebrate each day like it’s our last because tomorrow isn’t promised. I still picture her in her red dress standing right next to me telling me she was struggling with her condition and she would be lucky if she would make it till the end of the year. I could see her health was deteriorating but I told her she shouldn’t talk like that because words have power. Now she’s gone but I know she’s now in a happy place and she’s finally at peace. I miss her everyday and thinking about her has my heart breaking all over again.
Don’t take the people in your life for granted. Today might be the last day you see them. Find reasons to love them like it’s the last time…