3 Signs That Show Your Relationship Is Doomed

Being in a relationship can be one enriching experience if done right.  However, not everyone is cut out for it and things can get messy.  signs your relationship is complicated MaKupsy.jpg

Image from Pinterest

They Don’t Apologise

There’s no way you can always be right, this is a fact.  However, when you do something wrong or if your partner highlights something that you did that affects them in a negative way it’s only right to apologise.  Not the “I’m sorry” and end it at that apology.  A real genuinely heart felt apology will do the trick.  Here’s a beautiful example;

“I’m sorry I didn’t show up on time my love, I got carried away and completely forgot about our appointment.  Please forgive me for keeping you waiting.  How can I make it up to you.”

Yes, there are people who apologise like that in this lifetime.  You will meet them some day.

They Don’t Know How To Communicate

Do I have enough stories to last a lifetime for this one!  I used to be that person.  I would sulk, plunge myself into a mood swings for an entire day or simply say nothing was wrong when my partner asked what was wrong.  DO NOT BE THIS PERSON.  If something is wrong speak up!  I think part of the problem for some women is that we’ve been socialised to say everything is okay even when it isn’t so we just grin and bear it.  Find ways that will help you communicate your thoughts and feelings in a healthy and progressive way.  No relationship is perfect, problems will come but how you deal with them is what will make or break you.

They Don’t Allow You To Spend Time With Your Friends

No man is an island.  If people could remember this the relationship world would  be a better place.  Your partner needs time away from you to spend it with other people that light up their life.  Just think of the number of stories you will talk about or the places you can try out when you eventually have time together.  Wouldn’t that be special?

Where relationships are concerned I have just one piece of unsolicited advise; Be with people who value your time and your presence, headaches caused by selfish people are not to be tolerated in 2019 going forward.  Love thy self!

Have you been through any of these situations when you were dating?  How did you handle it?

©MaKupsy 2019

 

 

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Travel Tips For Visiting Nyanga National Park, Zimbabwe

Nyanga National Park should be on your list for your next road trip adventure.  It’s about 4hrs 30 minutes drive from Harare if you aren’t taking lengthy stops along the way.  No excuse not to make it a day trip right?  Right!  A bunch of travel adventure lovers and I teamed up and went for fun filled day away from all the hustle and bustle of Harare and had an entertaining time out.

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6 Tips For Traveling To Nyanga National Park

  1. Leave early if you’re planning on doing a day trip.  We left around 6am but from the looks of things we could have left an hour earlier to get to enjoy some of the activities we missed out on.
  2. The main attraction which is hiking Mount Inyangani starts off at 6am and you can’t go hiking after 10:30am.  (We arrived at 11:00am)  The hike up the mountain is  2 652m which sounds like a lot considering we ended up doing an alternative short hike to an area which was nearly just 1 km away and we wanted to collapse!  People have been known to disappear so they encourage people to go hiking early and come back before the sun sets for safety reasons.
  3. Call the administration department in advance (+263773500398 or 9) just in case there are new rules and regulations set in place.  We got there only to be told that there were new entry fees.  Be prepared.
  4. Visit Nyanga National Park during off peak periods of the year.  That way you won’t spend a lot of money on travel and have extra money for snacks and beverages.
  5. Pack your swimwear!  There’s a waterfall, Nyangombe Falls situated within Nyanga National Park.  You don’t want to be the one missing out on the water action while everyone else dives in and takes lots of beautiful pictures without you in them.  However, If you can’t swim don’t even attempt to jump into the water, someone nearly drowned on the day.
  6. Pack warm clothes as well, the weather is unpredictable.

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For all your local monthly won’t leave a dent in your pocket group trips make sure you get in touch with @HikersZW.

Have you been to Nyanga National Park before?  What was your experience like?

©MaKupsy 2019

 

 

Senna Tea Will Work Wonders To Your Body

I had no idea Senna Tea existed until late last year when my sister suggested I give it a try.  It had been 3 uncomfortable days of not being able to poo and I was losing my mind!  She gave me a teabag and told me I had to take it overnight.  Unfortunately, I only remembered the next morning and decided to have it then.  Let’s just say that was one of the days I don’t like thinking back to because I had to poo one three many times at work…very “un-lady” like if you ask me.

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Pros

  1. It’s highly effective and gets you from constipation to relieved in a matter of hours.
  2. Once you purchase a box of Senna Tea you will keep it for a long time, I’ve had mine for close to a 6 months now and I’ve only used 3 teabags.
  3. It’s easy to use.  There’s no special method to follow.  All you need to do is add hot water, let it brew for about 5 minutes and it’s ready to drink.
  4. You can purchase it from a supermarket, no need to have to go and see a doctor and pay an obscene amount of money for doctor’s consultation. Zimbabwe  is currently going through a serious economic crisis so the less stressful alternative the better.

Cons

  1. It’s expensive.  It cost me RTGS10 back then and that was already a lot of money, I shudder to imagine how much it’s going for now.
  2. According to studies: “Don’t use senna for more than two weeks. Longer use can cause the bowels to stop functioning normally and might cause dependence on laxatives.”
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Image from Google

If you can’t get a hold of Senna Tea in your area you can also try some other remedies that might cure constipation such as:

  • chewing on ginger
  • making sure your diet includes high fiber; think fruits, vegetables and beans
  • Hunters Gold (I’ve tried and tested this myself works like a charm)
  • soap; when we were younger we used to rub soap and water and use the foam to rub against our erm..anus.  I’m laughing as I type this out, but yes it did the trick I don’t know if it will work now.
  • exercise, it helps with bowel movement, I’ve noticed that on days I don’t exercise I’m not as regular.

At the end of the day I’m still stuck on Senna Tea.  I would highly recommend you give it a try.  However, you need to remember to use it occasionally and AT NIGHT as your last “meal” of the day.  Trust me, you don’t want to go through my ordeal of not following instructions.

On a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the best I give Senna Tea a well deserved 9 out of 10.  They lost a point at the price there, perhaps it’s much more reasonably priced in South Africa where it’s produced.

Have you tried Senna Tea before?  What was your experience like?  I would also like to hear what some of your home remedies for constipation are.

©MaKupsy 2019

 

 

Mutorashanga, Zimbabwe

Mutorashanga Green Pool is as beautiful as the pictures you see on the internet, WOW, I was truly amazed.  I made a vow this year that one of my resolutions will be to travel to 6 different local destinations right here in Zimbabwe.  I love to travel but my budget doesn’t permit me to do international travel just yet so I figured why not go all out with what I can afford and have access to?

Let’s dive into the experience shall we?

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I loved spending time with my friends.  This must have been the highlight event of the entire month.  We had so much fun, talked about everything under the sun and I remember everyone saying once we got to Mutorashanga Green Pool they would dive in and enjoy the cool water.  From the picture you can see that I was the only one who ended up doing the swimming.  Friends like these…

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Swimming is my second love after my little princess.  I thoroughly enjoyed the dip in the green pool.  I swam halfway through the green pool.  I would have shared a video but my friends were too busy taking selfies they forgot about me.  Imagine if I had drowned, they would have never noticed because they were trying to get the perfect shot for the gram.  You can picture me side eyeing them because that’s what I’m doing right now.

mutorashanga-green-pool-with-friends.jpgThe trip back home was double the fun, we were all completely plastered except the designated driver who happens to be one of my best friends.  We took all sorts of ridiculous looking pictures but they were perfect.  Before we left we got a chance to see one of the local event planners setting up for a guy who was going to propose to his girlfriend.  It was magical and we went in on that topic for a good 30 minutes on our way home with the women saying that most Zimbabwean men aren’t romantic like that and whoever the woman is was lucky to be pampered like that.

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For more detailed information on Mutorashanga Green Pool you can read all about it from here.

We truly had a great time and we plan on doing more of these adventures.  The best part about traveling as a group is you get to:

  • have someone to take pictures of you instead of a dozen selfies from a solo trip,
  • share travel costs; we split the fuel bill, you know how crazy Zimbabwe is at the moment,
  • feel safe, you’re around friends and if anything happens you have them right there with you,
  • more alcohol 🙂

If you’re in Zimbabwe and love to travel just like we do make sure you get in touch with my good friend @TygaRose_Roses she has the best affordable and exciting deals in town!

©MaKupsy 2019

Uncomfortable Things That Happen When You Share Accommodation

If you’re planning to move into shared accommodation then you need to read this post and have a heads up on all the bullsh*t you will encounter.  I tried out this madness for a solid year in 2018 and this is what my experience of moving in with a complete stranger was like.

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Image from Pinterest

Please note that the shared accommodation looked like nothing in the above image, but a girl can dare to dream right?

What NOT To Look Forward To

  1. Hygiene levels will not be on the same level.  I’m a clean freak for the most part and I had to share kitchen space with someone who could keep dishes in the sink for at least days without doing anything about them.  When I first moved in I had no problem combining my housemates dishes with mine but after a few days I decided I have much more important things to do with my life and cleaning after a grown person was not one of them.
  2. Your food stuff will get used up and the next person won’t have the decency to tell you.  I was beyond annoyed the one time I got home to find half my onion was used.  There’s nothing wrong with that, people run out of onion all the time.  What annoyed me was having it used and no one saying anything about it, l was annoyed and no I didn’t ask them, I’m only petty in my head.  My friend suggested I take my food out of the kitchen but I was entitled to kitchen space and I planned on using it; I simply stopped placing my perishables for all and sundry.
  3. Noise.  My housemate had a bunch of friends that would come over on weekends.  That was great until they started coming over during the week as well and I couldn’t sleep till they decided they were drunk enough for bed.  Even after communicating that I had a job to get to in the morning and I needed a goodnight’s sleep it was as good as talking to myself, nothing changed.  I started resenting going home.  My advice, invest in earplugs.
  4. Fears come alive in HD.  I once had an encounter years ago where someone tried to break into my apartment.  That incident left me feeling highly sensitive to sound.  The house I shared was in a part of town where the yard was huge and trees surrounded the house.  The days my housemate wasn’t around were the worst.  I imagined all the things that could happen to me, how far away our neighbours were if I had to call for help and I wouldn’t sleep a single wink.  Fear coupled with an overactive imagination is a recipe for disaster!
  5. Goodbye sex.  My room was right next to my housemate who happened to be my landlord and old enough to be my oldest sister.  There was no way I was about to start getting laid knowing fully well she was in the next room.  Gangster as I am, it simply wouldn’t happen.  I missed sex!

Wait, There’s Good News…

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Image from Pinteres

  1. A tranquil environment.  I moved to an area where there was peace and quiet.  I would wake up to the sound of birds chirping.  That was the most beautiful experience I’d had in the longest time.  I’ve stayed in a part of town where the first thing you hear is the sound of cars hooting at each other so this was a very welcome change.
  2. No random visitors.  Most people didn’t visit me and I loved it!  It helped me cut out some people who didn’t really need to be in my life to begin with.  Not having to deal with unwanted visitors was a huge positive for me.
  3. Prayer life increased.  More time to myself meant more time to face my thoughts and get to know who I really was.  I had more time to read my Bible, fast and pray and for the first time in the longest time I considered attending church, and I actually did and I loved it!
  4. You save money.  I moved out because staying in town was becoming expensive and I had a goal to save up for something.  I was paying half the rent and it also covered my water and electricity bill and that was one less thing to worry about on my part.
  5. Space.  I loved how there was so much space I could do all my fitness workouts without having to leave the premises.  What more could I ask for?

Just so you know, I won’t be sharing accommodation with anyone EVER AGAIN.  I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time afraid to offend my housemate in one way or the other. Yes, there are benefits to sharing accommodation but for me, it was one experience not worth giving another try.

Have you shared accommodation before?  What was your experience like?  Also, how do you go about finding accommodation in your area?  Here in Zimbabwe most people, myself included just head over to Facebook Groups to try and get something we can afford.

©MaKupsy 2019

The Surprise A Married Man Gifted Me With

“I’m 21 years old; I just found out I’m pregnant and my boyfriend is married with a 5 year old son.”

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Image from Google

This was a subject of discussion sometime last week on one of the radio stations I listen in to when I have time.  I found the whole subject quite enthralling.  I’m a woman, I’ve gone through pregnancy before and frankly speaking I felt sad for the girl who had submitted her story to ask for help because that girl was me once upon a time.  The only difference between us was that the man in question wasn’t married but boy did I go through a whirlwind of emotions throughout the entire ordeal.

The 21 Year Girl

At age 21 I was as naive as they come.  I knew nothing about contraceptive methods, I thought living “happily ever after” was a real thing and most of all I believed everything my boyfriend told me.  No questions asked.  I’m assuming the girl in question is just like that.  If not then it takes us back to the conversation most African parents avoid, sexual health.  It’s all hush hush, the girl child grows up unequipped and she’s the one who bears the brunt of 9 months of almost always an unwanted pregnancy as if she was having sex all by herself?

What saddens me the most is that all those pregnancy hormones are already giving her a hard time and now she has to deal with society and a boyfriend who’s now informing her he’s married.  When do women catch a break?

The (so-called) Married Man

Suddenly he remembers that he’s married?  Where was his marital status when he was having sex with this girl left, right and centre?  Amnesia much???  I think it’s only fair that married people move around with marriage certificates, rings and a uniform to identify their marital status because who can even confirm this declaration?  If you ask me, this sounds like a case of a man running away from responsibility.  If he is indeed telling the truth then does his marital status change the fact that his girlfriend is now pregnant?  Why are married men leaving their homes where they made promised a forever after to seek out younger or older women, having unprotected sex with them, getting them pregnant and causing nothing but havoc in what could be a perfect world?

What must happen to this 21 year old girl who he is ready to dump in a heart beat?  Given the current economic situation in Zimbabwe what are the chances that she even has a job?

The Caller / Contributor

Listeners were given an opportunity to call in and share their thoughts on the subject matter.  A 29 year old woman called and said that she was in a polygamous relationship and she was the first wife.  Apparently her husband has a second wife who is 19 years old.  According to her she receives all of the husband’s salary and doesn’t give the second wife a single dime of the money.  It was only after listened to this that I realised that women truly are each other’s greatest enemies…

My Thoughts

  • No sex before marriage.  I know this is something we were told a million times over but it was only after I lost my virginity that I realised that shit is real.  Don’t give yourself to someone who isn’t your husband, nothing good ever comes out of it.  If a many really does love you let him marry you and have all the sex he wants under the sun without putting yourself through unnecessary stress.
  • People lie; that includes both men and women, take everything everyone tells you with a pinch of salt.  Especially men who claim to be “single”.  Do your investigations thoroughly before committing to someone.
  • Sexually transmitted diseases are real, you will die before your time.  If you choose to have sex make sure you’re having protected sex and you’re on a contraceptive method of sort.  If you choose otherwise make sure you’re prepared for the consequences that come with it.
  • It’s going to be difficult for the 21 year old before it gets easy but it will get better in time.  There are many stories of women who had children out of wedlock but eventually found love and lived a fulfilled life, it’s not the end of the world.

What advice would you give to this young woman?  What in your opinion should happen to married men who go around lying about their marital status?

©MaKupsy 2019

 

 

 

 

To Give Or Not To Give Your Girlfriend A Monthly Allowance?

Bae Allowance Money a guy gives his girlfriend at the end of each month for her random needs.

Girlfriend  Giving Directions To Her Boyfriend

“Come to the front gate of my apartment where you dropped me off.  Look for flat 9A, you’ll find a lift on your right.  Hit 9 with your ELBOW.  Get out of the lift, you’ll find my flat on the left.  Hit the doorbell with your ELBOW and I’ll get the door for you.”

Boyfriend says: That seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Girlfriend: “OMG! Are you coming empty handed?”

Boyfriend: (speechless)

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I thought this was hilarious because some men are famous for visiting their girlfriends with just dick and hairy balls, like can we throw those in a pan and fry them for supper  Women are not saying buy them something everyday but why not think outside the box for a change and surprise a lady with something she likes??

One of my contacts sent me that joke on WhatsApp last night and it gave me an idea to blog about this morning.  Let’s talk about Bae Allowance shall we?

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Photo Credit Theo & Essy

Let me first give you my thoughts on the subject matter.  This might end up being a lengthy blog but I promise you will enjoy it.  Let me tell you a bit about my very first boyfriend.  That guy treated me like a little princess.  He never missed a birthday, anniversary, special event, good or bad moment.  We were through it all through thick and thin.  The whole 5 years that we dated I never asked for a single dime of his money.  He just did things because he wanted to and not because I had to beg and plead for him to do so.  Maybe because back then I was younger and had less problems but I believe even if we had stayed together he was still going to be that guy who takes care of his woman without her throwing tantrums about it.  After dating other people after him I can safely say that people are different and just because he went above and beyond for me doesn’t mean the next guy will do the same.

For that reason I have since learnt to accept that one should always live within their means and not expect the next person to cater to their every single need.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your man shouldn’t spoil you but you don’t have to convince him to do so, he has to do so on his own accord.  Guys already know that a woman needs to be pampered every now and again and so if he isn’t doing it for you it’s either he doesn’t want to, he’s just not that into you or he’s simply doing it for another woman who clearly isn’t you.  I for one would not want a fixed monthly allowance, that for me feels a tad bit tacky because if the tables were turned trust me I would not be paying anyone an allowance for being a part of my life.  I have a daughter on my  payroll as it is, I don’t think I can make anymore additions to that!

I asked a few friends; both male and female about their thoughts on Bae Allowance and these were their thoughts:

The ladies said:

  • I think if it’s a serious relationship it’s not meant to be an obligation; both are meant to help each other out.  In a case were both work rather do  things for each other than give each other money otherwise it will seem like it’s all about money.
  • l feel most guys should give their girlfriends Bae Allowance.  That way  you avoid having to constantly say “Baby my hair is a mess l need money, baby my nails what not.”  Just give her the monthly allowance so that you don’t stress each other out every other week.  IT’S NOT A MUST THOUGH.

The guys said:

  • There should not be a fixed mandatory Bae Allowance in a relationship.  It is of paramount importance that an individual be self sufficient that way I can chip in here and there.  It’s important to take care of your partner (what you don’t do for her, she will find someone else who can) but it should not be made out into a big deal when I can’t do it all the time.
  • If you’re my girlfriend don’t ask me for anything that costs $5 or less because what were you doing for money before we started dating? Now you suddenly want my money.  I should feel like spending on you willingly.  I’m not a bank and understand that when I say I don’t have money most of the time I genuinely don’t have because money is hard to come by.  I will spend on her but bae allowance I don’t do… It’s like I’m paying you to be my girlfriend!

There you have it.  Both sexes have voiced out their opinions.

As an addition I just had to say this.  Fine, I know I am not for a woman actually getting to be on her boyfriends payroll but some of these guys are cheap skates.  If you actually don’t even ask him to buy you anything he will actually continue to do so and not see anything wrong with that.  Let me ask the guys a question.  How are you going to date your girlfriend for a whole year and not once surprise her with a set of sexy lingerie?  So you are an expert at taking off her clothes but not buying her anything to add sexiness to her lingerie collection??  Also, why do some guys just want to take women out for drinks when the same amount can be used for a proper lunch, dinner or better still coffee date?  Okay fine, that is completely off topic now.

This is the part I say goodbye.

My friends from the Podcast world got excited about this topic and touched on the subject.  You can listen in from here.

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A few years later I can safely inform you that giving your girlfriend has great benefits that include wonderful things like getting married to her.  Congratulations to my friends Theo & Essy who were kind enough to share their picture with me for this post.  They’re now happily married and living an amazing life together.

©MaKupsy 2019

16 Survival Tips For New Mothers

The following new mum survival tips are from some of my friends and I.  I hope they will come in handy.  Please feel free to add any other tips in the comments section.

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Image from Google

  1. Keep your hands clean.  You should always make sure you wash your hands when breastfeeding and handling the baby’s bottles.
  2. Not every baby will like breastfeeding.  It’s not a failure on your part; remember a baby is a unique little person with likes and dislikes
  3. There will be A LOT of sleepless nights.  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  Don’t even try to clean the house or do laundry or get yourself busy with something else.  The moment the baby sleeps it’s your cue to also get some rest.
  4. DO NOT pick up the baby the moment the baby cries.  Give her time to soothe herself otherwise she will get used to having you scoop her up at the very first sign of tears and that will be a sure way to stop you from doing anything else.
  5. Breastfeed your baby as often as you can.  Breastfeeding is like medicine for the baby.  It will stop the baby from catching colds and flues and diseases that are prone to attack new born babies.
  6. You will have to master the art of taking super quick baths in case the baby wakes up.
  7. Change the baby’s diapers frequently.  You don’t want the baby to have an uncomfortable rash.
  8. Make Google your friend.  In the world of technology where information is just at the tip of your finger try and search for any baby concerns you have before rushing to the doctor.  You might be surprised, most answers you get actually work.
  9. Make time for your spouse if you are raising the child together.  It can’t be about the baby all the time.  (Not that it’s a bad thing) but your partner also wants to feel loved.  You can have someone watch the baby for a day while you catch up on each other.
  10. You alone know your baby. If you feel something is not right then it probably is. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
  11. DO NOT try and do too much too soon.  Yes, I know you will miss your pre pregnancy body and want to get right back to exercising but give yourself time to heal.  After all you were pregnant for a whole nine months and it will take time for your body to start getting back to normal.  Relax and enjoy your baby for now.
  12. A baby will be happy one day and a downright monster on another day. That doesn’t make you a lousy mum. You will bathe the baby, feed the baby, sing for the baby and nothing will work.  It’s just baby having a bad day.
  13. Make sure you eat healthy and balanced meals and keep your mind from worry.  Babies seem to sense it when you are unhappy and end up crying for days because mummy is not happy.
  14. When people come to see the newborn baby, please give them tasks to help you with around the house. Let them know beforehand that a little help will be required. The last thing you want is to be standing around catering to a clan of twenty family members while trying to heal a torn vagina (sorry for the graphics) and handle a newborn. They can feel free to cook and clean up after themselves.
  15. Speak positive words of affirmation to your baby and say all the wonderful things you would want them to grow up to be.  Also pray for them, nothing is as powerful as a mother’s prayer.
  16. Speak out if you need help and you are failing to cope on your own.  After all,

It takes a whole village to raise a child.

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This blog post is dedicated to my friend who is expecting a baby any day now.  I am totally excited for him and his wife.  It is going to be both a fun and eye opening adventure for the two of you.

©MaKupsy 2019

The Ugly Truth About Living Alone

I started staying on my own when I was 23 years old and I thought I was going to have the most amazing time of my life.  All that freedom!  Okay, I’ll be honest.  I did have a blast.  Do you have any idea how it feels to know that you can do whatever the heck you want without having to ask for permission from anyone?  The first days I enjoyed staying at home catching up with a good series.  That time Gossip Girl was a hit and I would binge watch it on a Saturday.  Then enter new friends and staying home became an illusion.  We used to go out partying midweek all the way till Sunday and we still had energy to make it to work fit and legit.  Fun times.  Sadly, I can’t try that out now.  One night out is enough to have me struggling for the next three days.  I’m clearly not as young as I used to be.

Staying alone is bliss.  You can practically do anything you want with your space and time without having to consult anyone but it does have it’s disadvantages.

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  1. Cooking for yourself gets boring.  If you’re anything like me at some point you want to eat what someone else prepared and with the way the Zimbabwean situation is set up eating out is not an option.  I don’t have that kind of money.
  2. Oh, did you know eating alone gets boring too?  There’s something about sharing a meal with someone that just makes it taste different.  Different in a good way.
  3. Chances of staying in the dark because you can’t reach the light bulb get higher by the second.  I’m not very tall and it’s unfortunate that my light bulbs are placed high up and if I don’t ask a friend to pass through to replace it for me then it’s the candle light life for me.
  4. You forget you can actually talk.  Ever tried spending a weekend on your own?  If you don’t receive or make a phone call chances of speaking to anyone are close to none.
  5. It’s generally scary staying on your own because in the event that an intruder shows up what are the chances of getting out alive.  It’s even more unsettling if you’re a woman who stays alone because not only will you get robbed you might get raped too.  ZimStat data shows that 1 067 murder cases and 7 394 rape cases were reported in 2017.  I shudder to imagine what the 2018 stats are.
  6. You get so used to being on your own so much that when you do have company you want them to go away after a while.  Human beings are strange if you ask me.
  7. You miss human contact (not sex) but just having someone around to talk to, cuddle with, share a meal with or even watch a movie with.  A movie isn’t as much fun if you don’t have someone to hold on to when the scary bits pop up.
  8. You have to do everything by yourself, from doing the dishes, to cleaning the house, to replacing stuff that gets broken and most of all paying all the bills; all that stuff is on you.
  9. That rat that you keep hearing scratching against the door at odd hours will only be gone after you do something about it.  If you don’t that just means it is going to keep eating whatever it can get in the house and grow bigger and then you will have a rat for a roommate. Eeek!
  10. The heavy lifting of objects has to be done by you and if you are anything like me you will just chill and hope for a miracle to happen and magically move that box to the next room.
  11. When you get sick no one is there to pamper you and make sure you are okay, if you have had something to eat or taken a bat.  You could actually die in your sleep all by yourself and no one would ever notice because you stay on your own and lately people are too invested in messaging calling has become a thing of the past.  I can picture the headline already “Woman found dead in her apartment after missing for 3 weeks.” THE HORROR!

I asked my friends on Twitter when they moved out to stay on their own.  You can check out their replies from here:

What are some of the things you think make staying alone a not so great experience?  I’d love to hear from you.

©MaKupsy 2019

I Lost My Sister To Depression

I lost my older sister to depression on the 15th of December 2018.  I’ve felt so many different emotions since then but sadness and pain are the most distinguished feelings for me.  I haven’t been able to write up any blog posts from scratch because my creativity plummeted.  Today, after nearly 4 months of her passing I’m finally able to blog again.

death MaKupsy

Image from Pinterest

My sister was a real fashionista!  She indulged in the finer things in life; clothes, food, experiences; those were always top notch for her.  She didn’t have room for compromise, for her it was all about quality.  I can safely let you in on the secret that most people didn’t know; I wanted to be just like her, I completely admired her!  I experienced all my dazzling firsts with her.  My first movie, coffee date, restaurant experience even my first alcoholic beverage was courtesy of!  Her reason for letting me drink alcohol when I turned 18 was so that when I attended parties I wouldn’t pass out after having just one drink (as if my dad ever let me attend any parties at all)  Minus giving me a kick start to being an alcoholic at some point in my life she also gave me wonderful tips on personal care which I still use to this day and intend to pass on to my daughter.

“No flowers for me.”

That was my sister’s WhatsApp status for the longest time but I never asked her why she chose to put that up.  At her funeral her best friend told me that it was because the last time she was hospitalised her friends bought her a lot of flowers and she complained that they should have sent her money instead.  That’s my sister alright!  Now each time I see a bouquet of flowers I think of her…

You know what hurts me the most?  My sister and I didn’t talk often but when we did we would catch up and talk about all the best deals in town, where she was currently getting her nails done, which place had the tastiest food, send each other pictures about our latest clothing acquisitions…We talked about everything but she never told me she was critically ill.  She would tell me about an occasional headache or body pain but never the whole situation.  When I visited her in hospital the first time I had hope that she would be better but a few weeks later after my very last visit even though I’ve never faced death before, I knew that her days were numbered and she would soon be no more.

I cried until I had no more tears left.  I cried because I knew the life she would have wanted for herself but yet she chose otherwise.  I cried because I wish she would have chosen herself because in the end one’s happiness is what matters the most.  I cried because I wished things had been different between us.  I cried because at some point I assumed she was going through depression and I didn’t know how to help her because she never opened up.  I cried because she casually asked me one day what I would do if she died and I calmly replied saying I would attend her funeral.  I cried because somehow I think she knew she was going to die soon but probably couldn’t say so.

My sister probably died from a broken heart.  The doctors might say otherwise but a part of me knows all she ever truly wanted was to love and be loved.

I hope the sun shines wherever you are; you went through so much pain during your last days on earth.  I wish you healing and peace dear sister and may your soul rest in eternal peace.

©MaKupsy 2019