27 August 2018 marked the day I declared my sobriety challenge. After an amazing night out the previous Saturday I woke up feeling tired, groggy and questioning my not so productive habit of nearly a decade. I love alcohol, mainly because of the happy and care free feeling I get from it while I’m drinking it but the next day isn’t rosy at all. Mind you, I’m a fitness enthusiast so my drinking is really counter productive for the most part.
I have a couple of reasons why I’ve decided to embark on this journey which include:
- I’ve gained weight. You should have seen how much I was drinking throughout winter. Once upon a few months ago I had a 6 pack. Now I have a little pouch and I’m not amused.
- I’m tired of feeling tired. Having to pop pills before I go to sleep so that I can wake up feeling half alive isn’t fun anymore
- I need my energy back, I used to run a lot faster now my pace is slower. I have to choose a side, either I’m fit 100% or I’m not fit at all, I choose the former.
- My face looks puffy and tired and I know alcohol is somehow contributing to that. I want to be forever young.
- I want to save money. Do you have any idea how much it costs to maintain this habit? I can’t even type it out, just know it’s A LOT.
- I also read an article saying that the top beverage company in the country is currently facing a beer crisis so I may as well adjust accordingly before things get bad.
Please note that I’ve been on this booze free journey before and didn’t even document it because the plan was to stop for a short while. This time around I not only want to stop drinking alcohol for 30 days, I want to stop completely and I’m going to need all the will power under the sun to make this materialise. I won’t say I’m feeling enthusiastic about this challenge. What shall replace my weakness?
I got home to a bottle of opened wine from the Saturday event. I was tempted to drink it up but told myself that I’ll pack it away instead and if anyone chooses to buy me alcohol I’ll gladly accept it and keep it. Why not start a mini bar? For some odd reason I was feeling very hungry throughout the day even after eating something which is ordinarily filling. Perhaps I still have alcohol in my system from the weekend? Either way, I feel heavy and it’s not okay.
I’m okay so far. I can’t say I have any withdrawal symptoms I can point out. Methinks exercising twice a day has kept me from thinking about alcohol. One thing is certain, I’m sleeping peacefully. I only wake up once for a pee break and that in my world is a great achievement! I also now have a YouTube Channel and it’s really keeping me busy; you can check it out over here. I’ve been learning a lot about how YouTube works so I guess what my friend said about replacing a habit with another habit actually works . Thank the stars I’ve adopted a positive habit. The weekend is just a day away and I normally go all in on alcohol especially when I visit my hometown. Pray for me, it’s not going to be easy to stay sober but it has to be done, it is after all, a challenge…
The other day I dreamt that I had a glass of wine at a party. I was completely flat with myself for giving in so early only to realise that it was just a dream. Man I miss me some wine. That sparkling chilled glass after work is the answer to relaxation. Sadly for me I can’t enjoy anymore of that. I’ve resolved to drinking my fanta with lots of ice in a wine glass to make myself feel better. Don’t even ask me about the cravings galore I’m currently experiencing. Chocolate, biscuits, crisps, fizzy drinks, those are my current weaknesses and I hate myself for indulging in them.
I’m proud of myself for not drinking any alcohol for the past 15 days, I’ve kept my word and I’ve been a good girl. I even went to church on Sunday. Mind you I last went a very long time ago and it felt refreshing to start my Sunday morning sober and thinking clearly. The only downside to this challenge is that I’m now having trouble sleeping. Just yesterday I shared my thoughts on my Twitter timeline;
I was wide awake the entire night and there was nothing I could do about it. I was used to drowning my sorrows in a glass of wine or vodka but that wasn’t an option. I was also out of pain medication, I drink the ones that come with the instruction “may cause drowsiness” to help me escape to dreamland but it just wasn’t my lucky day. It turns out insomnia is one of the withdrawal symptoms for stopping alcohol. I’m honestly tempted to stop this journey, the side effects are not easy to handle.