30 Days Without Alcohol

27 August 2018 marked the day I declared my sobriety challenge.  After an amazing night out the previous Saturday I woke up feeling tired, groggy and questioning my not so productive habit of nearly a decade.  I love alcohol, mainly because of the happy and care free feeling I get from it while I’m drinking it but the next day isn’t rosy at all.  Mind you, I’m a fitness enthusiast so my drinking is really counter productive for the most part.

I have a couple of reasons why I’ve decided to embark on this journey which include:

  • I’ve gained weight.  You should have seen how much I was drinking throughout winter.  Once upon a few months ago I had a 6 pack. Now I have a little pouch and I’m not amused.
  • I’m tired of feeling tired.  Having to pop pills before I go to sleep so that I can wake up feeling half alive isn’t fun anymore
  • I need my energy back, I used to run a lot faster now my pace is slower.  I have to choose a side, either I’m fit 100% or I’m not fit at all, I choose the former.
  • My face looks puffy and tired and I know alcohol is somehow contributing to that. I want to be forever young.
  • I want to save money.  Do you have any idea how much it costs to maintain this habit?  I can’t even type it out, just know it’s A LOT.
  • I also read an article saying that the top beverage company in the country is currently facing a beer crisis so I may as well adjust accordingly before things get bad.

Please note that I’ve been on this booze free journey before and didn’t even document it because the plan was to stop for a short while.  This time around I not only want to stop drinking alcohol for 30 days, I want to stop completely and I’m going to need all the will power under the sun to make this materialise.  I won’t say I’m feeling enthusiastic about this challenge. What shall replace my weakness?

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Image from Pinterest

Day 1

I got home to a bottle of opened wine from the Saturday event.  I was tempted to drink it up but told myself that I’ll pack it away instead and if anyone chooses to buy me alcohol I’ll gladly accept it and keep it.  Why not start a mini bar?  For some odd reason I was feeling very hungry throughout the day even after eating something which is ordinarily filling.  Perhaps I still have alcohol in my system from the weekend?  Either way, I feel heavy and it’s not okay.

Day 5

I’m okay so far.  I can’t say I have any withdrawal symptoms I can point out.  Methinks exercising twice a day has kept me from thinking about alcohol.  One thing is certain, I’m sleeping peacefully.  I only wake up once for a pee break and that in my world is a great achievement!  I also now have a YouTube Channel and it’s really keeping me busy; you can check it out over here. I’ve been learning a lot about how  YouTube works so I guess what my friend said about replacing a habit with another habit actually works .  Thank the stars I’ve adopted a positive habit.  The weekend is just a day away and I normally go all in on alcohol especially when I visit my hometown.  Pray for me, it’s not going to be easy to stay sober but it has to be done, it is after all, a challenge…

Day 10

The other day I dreamt that I had a glass of wine at a party.  I was completely flat with myself for giving in so early only to realise that it was just a dream.  Man I miss me some wine.  That sparkling chilled glass after work is the answer to relaxation.  Sadly for me I can’t enjoy anymore of that.  I’ve resolved to drinking my fanta with lots of ice in a wine glass to make myself feel better.  Don’t even ask me about the cravings galore I’m currently experiencing.  Chocolate, biscuits, crisps, fizzy drinks, those are my current weaknesses and I hate myself for indulging in them.

Day 15

I’m proud of myself for not drinking any alcohol for the past 15 days, I’ve kept my word and I’ve been a good girl.  I even went to church on Sunday.  Mind you I last went a very long time ago and it felt refreshing to start my Sunday morning sober and thinking clearly.  The only downside to this challenge is that I’m now having trouble sleeping.  Just yesterday I shared my thoughts on my Twitter timeline;

I was wide awake the entire night and there was nothing I could do about it.  I was used to drowning my sorrows in a glass of wine or vodka but that wasn’t an option.  I was also out of pain medication, I drink the ones that come with the instruction “may cause drowsiness” to help me escape to dreamland but it just wasn’t my lucky day.  It turns out insomnia is one of the withdrawal symptoms for stopping alcohol.  I’m honestly tempted to stop this journey, the side effects are not easy to handle.

©MaKupsy 2018

 

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It’s Not You, It’s Me…

“Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary.  However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it’s likely tequilya.”

I had so much alcohol last year.  If I were to collect all the bottles of wine, ciders and vodka that I went through I would be embarrassed for myself.  You see, I have a love looove relationship with alcohol, something about it just makes me feel better.  After a few glasses my spirit is lifted and I can take on the world again.  Unfortunately that relationship has come to an end.  I spent the entire Easter break sober and it was NOT by choice.

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Image from Pinterest

I’ve stopped drinking for medical reasons.  Don’t think I didn’t try to have a glass or two over the weekend.  I did; but two sips into a glass of wine I knew this was a bad idea and I threw it out, I couldn’t stomach it.  Last night with a splitting headache I attempted a bit of vodka which never happened because soon after mixing the drink I was sure going to throw up.  My heart is breaking, what we had was unique, alcohol has never let me down, why is it doing this to me?  I thought we were in love, I thought we had great chemistry, I thought we were in this together forever but here I am, alone with no one to turn to.  What the heck am I going to do with myself on weekends?  What do sober people do with their time.  Surely there must be more to life than drinking fruit juice?

Let me take you a walk down memory lane…

Vodka+Berry Blaze/ Berry Nice/ Red Grape Juice + Ice

If I wanted to have the best time of my life this was my drink of choice.  The only problem with vodka is that it will take you from 0 straight to 100.  There’s no in-between.  However, I only have this drink from the comfort of my home or when I’m around friends I completely trust, black outs are real.  The hangover was from out of this world if I had Russian Bear but Skyy and Absolut never gave me such problems.

Wine 

White wine made me feel relaxed, I could have a few glasses(or the bottle) while reading a good book or watching a feel good movie.

Rose isn’t all that, I only had it when I couldn’t find anything else.

Red wine made me so freaking horny!  Oh, and the confessions, I would start telling my friend about all the naughty things I used to get up to.  He used to look forward to those messages, it’s a pity it’s all over.  Red wine had a bitter taste and gave me a headache the next day so I tried to have it moderation.

Ciders

Give me Hunters Dry or Hunters Edge and you would have made my day.  The perfect drink to have when chilling out or going for a road trip.  It had zero effect, just felt like I was having a nice cold drink.  No hangover too.

You see.  This time around I know for a fact that I won’t be drinking again and it’s hurting me so badly I don’t even know how I’m going to manage.  Ideas of how to still enjoy this life thing sober are sincerely welcome, help me.

Dear alcohol, it’s really not you, it’s me…

MaKupsy©

 

Is This Your Enemy Of Progress?

I believe we all have that one thing that we know is an enemy of progress.  It can be laziness, lack of faith, that one ex who calls and suddenly has you thinking of taking them back, the love for money and even sex! Being an adult comes without a manual but through experience you get to know yourself better and realise when certain temptations hit all that progress you had made is about to come crumbling down…

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Image from Pinterest

My love for natural sweet white wine will be the death of me!  I just love it so much it may as well be my best friend.  Last year my poison was Vodka but it came with stomach cramps the next day.  I had an affair with red wine that didn’t last for long because I would have a splitting headache the next day.  I finally decided to try out white wine and I absolutely loved it!  I remember Chef Takura(single and very sexy but he has a beard so he isn’t a potential candidate) recommending it to me and it listening to him was the best decision I ever made.  The one thing I love about white wine is I usually have it from the comfort of my warm bed and just after two glasses I am off to la la land.  I prefer having it on the occasional weekend that way I don’t feel so guilty for indulging in something I know is an enemy of progress in the fitness department.  I have a bottle all weekend though, that’s much better than having 3 bottles during the course of a weekend, yes, no?  (trying to defend the error of my ways here)

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Image from Pinterest

I have had days were my whole day has been mapped by the things I have read, seen or watched on social media.  There was a week when the #MenAreTrash hash tag was trending on almost all social media platforms.  It was the most heartbreaking week of my life.  The stories I read about what women go through left me feeling blue.  I remember sharing my own story on my timeline and after that all the negative thoughts and feelings from the past came back to haunt me.

The very same platforms that bear sad news also come with beautiful things such as travel, love, relationships all wrapped in one.  Now this stuff will make you wish you can order a partner just like the one you saw on Instagram!  Don’t do it to yourself, take it from me.  People will always show you the bright side of their lives and hardly ever the problems they are going through.  Next thing you will contemplate breaking up with your partner because they have not taken you for a surprise getaway weekend to Italy, you will die from stress o!  To make matters worse you can actually go an entire morning surfing through the internet giving yourself self inflicted stress.  This is why you should stick to reading blogs like mine instead, nothing but good times only here.  However, I have found a way to deal with this and that is by simply taking time off social media.  Spend your time on other fulfilling activities that will not leave you green with envy or constantly comparing your life with the next person. Remember that comparison will steal your joy.  Do not let this be your enemy of progress!

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Image from Pinterest

Negative energy is real.  Ever noticed how some people just love to complain about any and everything and once you are done talking to them you wonder why you are feeling miserable.  I am one person who values their peace of mind.  There are so many things going wrong in our country that could easily send you straight to your death while you are asleep the last thing you need is spending time with a “Negative Nancy”.  I understand that we all have problems and sometimes all you want to do is vent and get someone else to listen to you.  That’s perfectly fine but it is NOT okay to vent for an entire day.  Do you have any idea how that drains the next person?  Please do not do it to your loved ones.  If you decide to vent by all means do so but with all the venting make sure you come up with a solution to the problem together and act on it.  No one wants to spend time with negative people, they steal your joy.  Next time someone tries to ruin your day remember that it is your right to protect your peace and you can politely tell them to take their negative energy elsewhere.

I would love to hear from you.  What are some of your enemies of progress and how do deal with them?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

Unbelievable!!!

It is freaking hot this end of the world, I can not deal with this anymore!  Walking about naked is actually becoming a very tempting idea but the thought of getting arrested for public indecency and spending the festive season at Central Police Station in Harare is not even part of my to-do-list for the holidays!!!  So we had a party last night, whoop whoop!!

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Please note that this is a random party photo from last weekend which I was just dying to use!

Everything was organised, drinks, food, snacks you name it and then guess what, we only got to eat at 10 pm.  Like WHAT THE FUCK?!  This is the thing, my friend had been waiting for her boyfriend to show up for the do and he only showed up at 11 pm.  So the rest of us mere mortals suffered for his delay and only got to eat late which was unfair but who cares right, we are not as important as her man.  I was actually pretty upset about that you would think it was my boyfriend that showed up at that ungodly hour. Let me break it down so that we are probably on the same page of being overly sensitive about this issue.

  1. Her boyfriend knew that she was organising a braai and all he had to do was to show up at a decent hour to at least spend time with his girlfriend and her crew.
  2. Apparently this guy plays basketball and clearly the team would fail dismally without him because he would not be around. (imagine what would happen if he would drop dead) I am not wishing him bad though I am just saying really people he could just miss one freaking day to just be there!
  3. I am still upset at my friend for waiting up for this guy till 11 pm.  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF??  Had the tables been turned I would have sent him a message or called him and told him “Let me see you another day because this is clearly not important to you.”  And I would have been mad pissed off with him for days to come, probably not take his calls, take forever to reply his messages; I know that is very childish but you can’t make a woman wait up for you till that time of day and yet you had the WHOLE DAMN DAY TO SHOW UP!!
  4. He is a dick for pulling such a dick move.
  5. He was supposed to bring a bottle for the party, just one bottle but no, you know what he brought instead, his brother with his girlfriend in tow!  HILARIOUS!!  Who does that???
  6. I am so over people who just allow themselves to have the next person walk all over them and do jack squat about it.  I believe that a true gentleman will pick up the phone and call you and explain why he is delaying and there is no way he will make you wait for so long, “Where the fuck was he this whole time.”  In come my trust issues… I don’t even believe this was still about basketball and yet there was my friend eating this story like chocolate cake!
  7. He clearly does not treat her as a priority and she doesn’t even realise it.

Moral of the story?  I am so upset over an issue that doesn’t even concern me!!

I hope you are having a lovely festive season, I know I am.

MaKupsy

 

 

Day 28 – I Had A Shitty Saturday!

I WILL NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL AGAIN!

I know someone is going to read this and say “Never say never” but trust me I have thrown in the towel.  I had the most fun on Friday evening when I went out with my friends.  I had less than a six pack of Savanna Dark and I thought I had everything under control.  Was I wrong or was I wrong??!!

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I woke up feeling things that I can not even begin to describe.  Who gets fucked up after drinking just ONE six pack?? I was throwing up, my tummy had me running to the loo all morning and part of the afternoon and I had an excruciating headache.  No amount of water drinking, ginger tea, greasy food made me feel any better.  Anything I attempted to eat went straight out of my system.  I found a bottle I had only had a few sips of the night before on the kitchen sink and I poured it down the drain, I NEVER WANT TO SEE, TASTE OR HEAR ABOUT ALCOHOL AGAIN!  I was in so much pain but I couldn’t get myself to cry because after all these were self inflicted wounds.  I took a nap around 2 pm and I woke up an hour later feeling a whole lot better.

I remember sending my friend a message asking him to bring me something to eat (you see how close to death I thought I was) but unfortunately he couldn’t make it but being the darling he can be when he feels like it I know he was going to bring something.  Anyways, back to my melodramatic story; I took a bath, attempted to cook and once I had something solid in my tummy I started feeling a whole lot better.  Later in the evening I took a long walk to get some air seeing that I had spent the greater part of my day in bed trying to get back to normal.  My DJ friend sent a message telling me he was playing at one of my favourite hangouts but I had to turn down the offer because I needed to recover.

downloadBy the time I went to bed I was feeling a lot better but I promised that I WILL NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL AGAIN, add that to my “Things I Will Never Do (Again) Even If You Paid Me.”  I think my body was just telling me that me and alcohol should break up for good, this yoyo relationship must stop.  I finally see the light, I accept it and I shall go forth without it.  I QUIT!

MaKupsy

Day 22 – List Of Things That I Won’t Do (Again) Even If You Paid Me

  1. I will not get pregnant and go through labour again, like ever!
  2. I will not do laundry as long as I can afford to pay the maid.  I actually haven’t done any laundry since January this year.
  3. I will not get artificial nails, they damage my nails and leave them looking unhealthy.images (2)
  4. I will not date just because I am lonely and need an attention boost.
  5. I will not run more than 10K during the week, the day at work is nothing short of painful in all aspects!
  6. I will not drink to get drunk.
  7. I will not share accommodation with anyone, it is unnecessary drama that I can live without.
  8. I will not fart in the presence of my man.  Ask anyone I dated, I do not roll like that.  I still don’t know why though.
  9. I will not pretend to like someone or make conversation when I clearly do not want to do so.
  10. I will not travel to South Africa in winter!

MaKupsy

Day 21 – About Last Night

After a weekend packed with fun and celebrations for Miss Kupsy I came back home yesterday afternoon feeling exhausted but I still wanted to do something to get myself ready and geared up for a new week ahead.  My DJ friend came to pick me up and we headed for open air entertainment.  I had one heck of a fabulous time.  I needed the air and this outing did the trick.  I spend too much time indoors so sometimes all I want to do is go out and scream when my favourite song is played and dance like someone is watching, obviously!  I have been blessed with a bum that can do the shaking effortlessly.

Apparently this event they have termed “Splash” happens every Sunday at Mereki so if you are in Harare and you like to get some outdoor entertainment this is the IMG-20150920-WA0007place to be.  Remember to take a warm jacket with you if you plan on staying a little longer because the place gets chilly later on.  I had one shot of whiskey and continued with two cans of Sprite which tasted like water.  I am not sure if it’s my taste buds that suck or my body is simply telling me that I should just stick to the healthy stuff.  Either way I had a lot of fun and I got home in time to get a goodnight’s rest.  This week I plan on going to Pariah State (I don’t particularly like it but there is a reason behind my wanting to go and UnPlugged Zim on Sunday afternoon.  If you are going to either of the two places we will definitely bump into each other.

I hope your Monday has started on a great note.

MaKupsy

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Day 15 – Bored.com

I got to work super early today even I was surprised.  You see there was no reason to stay at home lounging when I could just get up and leave for work.  I didn’t have breakfast today, it’s one of those days when you wake up feeling all shades of fucked up.  So instead of a solid something to eat I am munching on a carrot as I type this.  Man I am BORED!!

Is this what growing up is all about?  Everything is so routine, like what ever happened to the spice in my life?  Work, home, work, home, work, home then the occasional outing.   I need me some adventure!  The only problem with adventure however is that it might have to include a bit of alcohol and in my world alcohol spells calories and I can’t afford to do that given my lifestyle change.  I have tried just about anything to stop myself from feeling bored but the feeling just won’t shake off and today it’s actually worse than before.  Maybe the problem is I have just about done everything I set myself out to do this year so I probably need new challenges.

What’s a girl to do?  Suggestions are totally welcome.  I need some stimulation!!!

MaKupsy

Day 12 – What Is Your Love Language?

Hello darlings!  I hope you have started the weekend on a good note.  I know some people are still fast asleep, others are nursing hangovers, believe it or not some have not made their way home after partying all night yesterday.(lucky them!!)

I know today you have a lot of time on your hands so you can click on what’s your love language and see what the quiz says about how you like to be shown love.  My results are below:

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

So how did you do on the quiz, care to share your results?

MaKupsy

Day 9 – The Answer To Fighting Stress!

I am sorry to announce that my blog title was misleading, but seeing that you already clicked the link let’s get on to reading shall we?  I unfortunately do not have the answer to fighting stress but I can tell you how I manage my own stress or fears.

  1. I run.  I already have a serious and dedicated running workout plan but when I am stressed out or worried about something I run like there is no tomorrow at a pace that even scares me.  Maybe it’s my body’s way of “running away” from my troubles.
  2. I read a lot of self help articles online.
  3. I fix myself something to eat that is packed with a tonne of calories; most days it works but on some days I end up feeling worse than what I was initially feeling. (Don’t try this idea)
  4. I fix  a seriously strong drink and down it. Unfortunately my alcohol tolerance levels are pathetic lately so two or three glasses later I fall asleep.
  5. I call my closest cousin or text my very close friends on WhatsApp and try to figure out what to do about how I am feeling.
  6. I sleep.
  7. I take time off from work to try and sort out my feelings.
  8. I attempt to cry.  I am messed up like that, I can’t seem to cry for reasons that I still unknown to me.  But making out faces of what I would look like when I am crying helps me in a weird sort of way.
  9. I try and keep a positive mindset and remind myself that this too shall come to pass.

There you have it the 9 not-so-effective ways to fighting stress, do attempt them at your own risk.

MaKupsy