Day 9: Beauty Has No Skin Tone

I didn’t know the term for it was colourism.  I just remember my mother giving my older sister a very strong lecture after she came home to visit and we could barely recognise her.  She hadn’t been home for over a month and it looked like she had gone from a brown skinned girl straight to “yellow bone”.  That wasn’t the term used back then but you get what I mean right?  Whatever product she was using only worked for her face so the rest of her body was dark and her face as bright as the morning sun.  She tried to defend herself and claim that she wasn’t using anything but my mother knew better.  Thankfully my sister listened and stopped using the product and was back to being chocolate skinned like the rest of the family.

I took this extract from my friend Tina’s blog; www.lifewithdimples.wordpress.com

I went to a lovely wedding a few months ago. I was sitting there enjoying myself when I overheard two ladies talking to each other. “Iiiiii ende akazviwanira kamukadzi kake kakanaka wena, katsvuku tsvuku futi, kaFanta chaiko!” Translation: “Ooo, he has really found himself a beautiful wife! She is light skinned too, just like Fanta!” They went on to discuss how her being light skinned was a relief as the groom was dark and so her genes would make sure the children wouldn’t be as dark as their father. I chuckled to myself and found it quite amusing that black people still actually thought like that. The more I thought about it though, the more I realised that colourism is a real cancer in our society which does not seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. In fact, it seems to be getting worse.

Methinks colourism affects almost every black person.  From young to old, men and women; somehow, somewhere the effects of colourism are there.  We have not yet embraced our magic.  There is a message that was drilled into our heads that being black is a sin, being black is dirty, being black is ugly, being black is of no value.  The stereotype message is that white is beautiful.  Think all things black people term as “the best”, believe me there is some whiteness associated with it.  It can be the school you decide your child to attend(so that they can get an accent), the area you decide to stay(because black neighbourhoods have too much noise), the hairstyle you choose to wear(so that your hair is straighter and close to the ideal “good hair”); the list is endless…

I took some time to watch this video and you should too.  You will be amazed at what children have to say about colourism.

 

I believe we still have a very long way to go where colourism is concerned.  Children are exposed to different messages that come in the form of toys, music, cartoons and other different forms of media that leave them believing that light skin is beauty.  However, as a parent I believe it is mostly my duty to raise a daughter who loves herself just the way she is.  Her complexion should not be used as a measure of her beauty.  I will continue to teach her to love herself loud and proud.  It took me a whole 30 years to finally realise that I didn’t need to conform to most of the standards set out by society and I have been the happiest person ever since! The advantage that my daughter has is that I’m on a mission to promote the magic of being black and she is very much a part of the movement and she doesn’t even know it!

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Photo Credit: @AmmaraBrown (Twitter)

“Beauty has no skin tone.”

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Photo Credit: @NyashaChidavaenziChoga (Facebook)

“Colour is the skin of the world.”

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Photo Credit: @_the_dimpled_one (Twitter)

“The best foundation you can ever wear is healthy glowing skin.”

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MaKupsy

“Black women are made of brown sugar, honey, cocoa and gold.”

What have been your experiences with colourism?  I know this is a very intrusive topic but I know there are a lot of stories to share on this.  I would love to hear from you.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

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Woman Crush Wednesday : @TeteHumba

I am always on the look out for people who ooze positive energy.  My first Woman Crush Wednesday this year is this beautiful soul; Tete Humba.

Creativity

Some of the things that fire my soul include being creative and working with my hands; with that I can never go wrong. As long as I am making something, I am happy. It started off as a joke but the more I experimented the more I realised that that was my happy place. From headboards, to DIY beauty products, to wigs, to clothes, shoes, wall décor. I’ll make it all!

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Skin Tone

Coconut oil!  I use it to moisturize; in my masks and to remove my makeup. It’s incorporated in everything. But bear in mind I have dry skin so that makes the perfect combo.

 

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Life Lessons 

When it’s a part of God’s plan, it will happen.  The Year 2016 was a very difficult year for me, and life threw its punches of all sorts.  Life tried to get me down but God had His own idea and here I am.

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Your Centre?

My family. I cannot imagine life without them. They are my everything.

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You can get in touch with Tete Humba on FacebookTwitter and Instagram.  For her hair products you can also find her on Instagram @hairbytete_h and @rtndphotography

Don’t forget the 8th of March is International Women’s Day, celebrate women!!

©MaKupsy 2017

 

My Gratitude Jar

It’s finally the last day of January!  It has been the longest month of my life!!!  I could sit here and tell you all the things that didn’t go right for me this month but today I choose to look at the sunny side of things.  I saw the idea of a gratitude jar on Twitter towards the end of last year and told myself I would definitely give it a try.  The plan was to wait to use up the mayonnaise in my fridge and then use that as my gratitude jar but weeks later I haven’t even had any meal that needed mayonnaise so I am kind of screwed.  The alternative plan is to keep pestering Kuda for one because he claims he has those in abundance. *He calls them salad jars*,  but jar or not I still wrote down a few things that I am grateful for this month…

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Image from Google

  • Today I am grateful for Miss Kupsy’s paternal Uncle.  He came through for me when I least expected it.  When the month started I wrote down a list of things Miss Kupsy needed and I didn’t have enough money to buy half the things on it.  I just told myself it would work itself out somehow and I should not stress myself and guess what, just a few weeks later her uncle sent her some money and I managed to check through her list.  He is an amazing human being and I always wish him well.  He doesn’t have to but he is the one person who never forgets about her.  I wish him nothing but beautiful things.
  • I finally got round to creating my Fitness Blog and started work on the 12th of January.  I love all things Health & Fitness and I want to create a platform that will be your go-to-place when you need inspiration, recipes, a fitness event, advice and a workout that will challenge you.  Please take a minute to read some of the work that I have managed to write up so far on fitnessbaeblog.wordpress.com I am happy that I am doing the things that work on my creativity. Everyday I have people asking me for tips and worry not, I take note and each month I will have an article directed to an individual that will help everyone else in the process.
  • A big thank you to Chenge for always hooking me up with life changing things.  I still can’t believe the amount of information about natural hair I gathered and continue to gather thanks to the events she encouraged me to attend.  We are both Bloggers and Creatives and if all things go well and we cook up what we have in mind, you guys will be blown away come June this year!  She is a beautiful soul and I am grateful to have her in my life.
  • There is a new Talk Show Radio in town… Capitalkfm and guess who got to be the first voice for the #AppOfTheDayShow?  Yours truly of course!  I got to talk about my experience with WordPress and how convenient it has been for me for the 3 years I have been using it.  Here’s hoping for more features, perhaps this time I will be talking about the next #RunWithFitnessBae challenge.
  • I got my first blog feature this year on ilizwi263.com I hope some one out there got to read it and got inspired to change their lifestyle.

The one thing I love about this Gratitude Jar idea is that you take time out of your day to focus on the good things. Do what you have to do to bring happiness into your own life, it begins with you after all.

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Remember I said this is a monthly challenge for the year 2017 that I gave myself and yes the positive vibes keep coming.  This month a few interesting things happened that reminded me how thankful I am for those around me and how much they have helped shape my life in ways they could never imagine.  Here goes:

  1. One of the very first things that happened in the month of February was a feature on Larry Kwirirayi’s website, 3mob.  You can read my feature on here.  It was a great way to start my month and I have a feeling this somehow influenced how more doors were opened for me.
  2. We had our monthly running challenge in the fitness group and that week the hashtag was trending like crazy!  It trended so much it ended up on Number 1 on the Twitter list.  If you are a fitness enthusiast you should join my team and come run with us.  Alternatively you can join in the fun through using the hashtag #RunWithFitnessBae and your runs will be visible on all my social media platforms.
  3. I wrote about how Onai got in touch with me after noticing that my hashtag was trending and I got to feature on his podcast.  He has a slot where he features popular Hashtags and DotComs and I got to be his guest feature.  It was both nerve wrecking and exciting because it was my first time live on air so the butterflies were too real!
  4. The one day my sister sent me an email with an advert from KidzCan.  They were announcing their Cancer Awareness Walk and that sparked interest in me.  You already know I am all about fitness and I wasted no time in getting in touch with the organisation to find out how we could take part.  The walk went well and we managed to contribute 591 766 steps towards the cause.  Things like this really make me happy.  I am grateful that even though we all have busy schedules we still take time out to make a positive difference in the community.
  5. DivasIncOnline got in touch with me on Twitter and asked me if I would like to feature on their next “Twitterview” and of course I said yes.  It was an hour long do and after it was over I remember sending them a message asking them how they picked their candidates for their Twitterviews.  Their response left me feeling all shades of happy, they said “We basically look at anyone who is doing anything noteworthy.”  I am definitely doing something right!
  6. I think the month of February should be dedicated to fitness actually because I just realised most of the things I am grateful for are fitness related.  I hosted my first Fitness In The Park event and it went very well.  One of the participants came all the way from Norton which is nearly 42kms out of Harare.  A special thank you to Onai for keeping his word, he actually came through on the day and took part in all the activities.  It was a great morning filled with skipping, running, fitness related discussions and plans for the next meet up.
  7. My heart and mind are filled with happy thoughts.  Never in my life have I been in this positive space.  Each day I wake up and I have something to look forward to.  I have no idea where it came from, but I pray it is here to stay.  Everyone needs something that keeps them going.  Life is too short to always be focused on negative things.  Try the best you can to make each day count, I know I am doing that every waking moment.
  8. Lastly, I am grateful for this bearded friend of mine called Kudzai.  This guy is truly heaven sent and should be a Life Coach already!  He is one human being who always has a positive attitude towards life and that shit is rubbing onto me every single day!  He will push you to do your very best, open your mind to endless possibilities and share priceless information.  I wish him all the beautiful things in life and I hope his hopes and dreams come true.  Oh, I also hope he wins the Bear of The Year Award, he really is taking growing a beard to the next level.

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March just flew past just like that?  Like where was I when all this was happening??  It seems my life has become so busy; busy with good things though and that’s what makes it very beautiful.  I have been making plans for different aspects of my life and so far things are looking up.  There is something about making clear and specific goals that makes waking up everyday such an exciting event.  You should try it sometime.

This month I am grateful for a lot of things but more than anything I am grateful for how things have changed between me and Miss Kupsy’s father.  After I wrote an Open Letter to him all the negative energy I used to harbor was set free.  If anything he makes an effort to spend time with his daughter, call her and just step up as and when he has to.  I never thought I would ever write anything positive about him but he sure has proved me wrong.  Perhaps people do change?  Whatever the case is, I am grateful that my daughter now has her father in her life and she adores him to bits.  I will not stand in the way of them nurturing a relationship, they need each other, I can’t do it all on my own.

That said, I am also grateful for music that soothes my soul.  This is my song of the month and I have been playing it like it’s the only song on my playlist!  Colour your life with love and laughter, it is too short to hold onto negativity especially given that we all don’t know when our last day on earth is.  Each time I watch this song my mind goes to a happy place full of sunshine, endless waterfalls and laughter.  I want to stay there forever. 🙂

Are you going to try out the Gratitude Jar?

If you already have one what are some of the lessons you have learnt from it?

MaKupsy©2017

Love The Skin You’re In – Exclusive Interview

Hi, my name is MaKupsy and I am a social media stalker!  I know I am not alone here but I can defend myself and tell you that I am on the “lite version” of stalking.  Meaning…I only stalk the interesting people on my timeline.  I bumped into this voluptuous woman on my Instagram feed and I was completely breath taken, like WOW!  I have been following her for a while now and just the other day I thought we should do an interview together and this is how it went.

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What is your name and where are you from?

My name is Mercy.  I am 22, born in Zimbabwe but I am currently living in the United Kingdom. I work as a model and brand ambassador for korrineskyintimates.co.uk

What inspired you to be a lingerie model?

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of modelling lingerie!  However, when the idea was proposed to me and I wore the lingerie for the first time, I took a moment to recognise and appreciate my uniqueness. It gave me an opportunity to reflect on the aspects of my body that at some point had made feel insecure. I have accepted all my flaws that I had previously struggled with growing up and have evolved into someone who is truly body positive.

How old were you when you started your career?

It all began about 3 years ago when my sister had an online clothing boutique. For promotional purposes we used to take our own pictures in the middle of the street and post them on social media. To our own surprise we had a great reception and that is when I discovered my glow in front of the camera.

Please share some of the challenges that come with the job?

When I first started I personally thought the physical expectations placed on models were often extreme. That I think was one of my worst fears.  Women face intense physical scrutiny and the pressure to measure up to standards that are often impossible. It made me realise that whether you are a model or not every woman has flaws and I had to learn to embrace mine.

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Are your family and friends supportive of your career?

My family is very supportive of my career, if not for them I probably would not be doing what I do with such confidence and pride. Most of my work is for Korrine Sky Intimates that is our brand and family business so the aim is to work hard and represent our brand well.

How do you deal with negative criticism?

In everything you do I think you should always leave a little room for criticism, not everybody will be a fan of your work and if you can hold your head up high and are proud of what you do that is all that matters.

On the other hand we are all human, If I said that the comments of nay sayers do not sometimes affect me I would be lying. One example I can share, I did a short film for Korrine Sky Intimates first year anniversary and someone made a snarky remark about the shape of my head. Now for me to let that not affect me I reminded myself that the shape of my head is something I cannot change. The trick to all of this is I only allow myself to feel it for a split second realise why I am doing this brush myself off and its back to business

What do you love the most about your job?

The best thing about my job is that I am doing something that I enjoy and love, I think that it is very important because most people are not as lucky in life to be able to live their passion.

Funny enough I used to avoid having my pictures taken when I was younger, since I discovered that I can serve body and face I have never looked back since. I get a lot of room to be creative and experiment with my body shape size and looks nothing can beat that.

Any wise words to share for those who would one day want to be models as well?

I cannot emphasise enough to women how important it is; if you decide to embark on this journey as a model the first and most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. Confidence is like a smell it follows you everywhere you go. One thing my mama has taught me is that there is nothing more sexy and liberating than a woman who oozes confidence knows exactly what she wants, sets goals and achieves them!

You can find Mercy on these Social Media Networks:

INSTAGRAM  @mercydiosa

SNAPCHAT  @Chynageisha

TWITTER  @Mercydiosa1

WEBSITE mercydiosa.com

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©MaKupsy 2016