How To Lose A Great Guy

One of the main reasons I started blogging was because of a guy.  I had caught feelings so bad I thought they were going to suffocate me in my sleep and I would die without him ever knowing it.  Fast forward to a few months after posting that blog we started dating.  Please note he had not seen that post because it was the only post I had made so thankfully nature took its natural course.

However, this was going to be a long distance relationship.  He worked out of the country and he would only come home twice a year.  We spoke about the challenges we would face where distance was concerned and given that he worked on a cruise ship it meant that the greater part of the time I would not get to speak to him over the phone because most times he would be at sea.  When you are in love you think everything will be a walk in the park.  We made promises to each other before he left and everything was bliss.

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Image from Google

The first few weeks were manageable.   We got to communicate through WhatsApp every other day and each time I saw his name pop up on my screen my face would light up.  I was at that point I would get upset if anyone else tried to send me a message because I only wanted to hear from him.

Weeks turned into months and communication was getting less and less because he had to work.  At first I played the understanding girlfriend, after all I already knew what I had signed myself up for beforehand.  I kept myself busy with other activities and tried not to obsess over carrying my phone around everywhere in case he tried getting in touch with me.  When I didn’t hear from weeks I started feeling blue.  I remember sending a message to my friend and telling her that I wasn’t okay and I was missing my boyfriend so much.  She reassured me that all would be okay and as soon as he was free he would definitely get in touch with me.

It’s not easy when someone who means the world to you is miles away and you can’t do anything but wait to hear from him.  The most I could do was email him and you can only send so many emails before you start sounding obsessive.  I had to wait…Eventually he would get time to chat and Voice Messages have never sounded so precious.  I felt better again and I was back to my happy self.

I really fought the feeling of ending things.  I was getting more and more frustrated by the day.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I didn’t love him, I did but my language of love is Quality Time and in order to feel closely connected to my partner I have to spend time with him.  That wasn’t happening; not that I didn’t know it wasn’t going to be happening but I didn’t realise it would be so hard!  Why did I even get myself into this?  Oh yes, LOVE.

I ended up sending him a message telling him I was unhappy and that the relationship was over.  (My heart was breaking as I typed every single word to him).  He only got the message a few days after I sent it and he never replied.  That was the most regrettable thing I have done to date.  A part of me wanted to send another message telling him I didn’t mean what I had said.  I really didn’t but I think I was just longing for his attention and I went about it the wrong way!  I knew his schedule and I knew he would be back home in a few weeks so I assured myself that he would surely visit when he arrived and say something; anything.

The moment he landed in Zimbabwe he came to see me!

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Image from Google

That was the longest hug I had ever given him, it was heartfelt and I genuinely had missed him tonnes.  Everyone in the office was saying hi to him because they knew him from visits he would make when he was around.  I have never felt so much relief, in my head I thought him coming to see me was a good sign.  He picked me up after work and we went for a drive.  We talked about everything, his travels, my fitness obsession, he was shocked at the amount of weight I had lost since the last time we had seen each other.

After avoiding the real issue at hand he finally told me that he had come to see me because he wanted us to remain in good books even after things had not gone well between us.   He told me he had seen my message and he had been saddened because he thought we were going to work out.  He also said that he was not one to push if I had made up my mind he was not going to be in a relationship with someone who wanted out.  At this point in my head I was screaming noooooo, that wasn’t what it was I just wanted your attention I didn’t mean to break up with you! I really lost out on a good thing.  He was a great guy but I was childish about putting my feelings across.  Once he was done talking I just said it was okay and we went on to have dinner and he dropped me off at home.

We spoke a few times after that, he even went all out to make my birthday super special.   When he left the country that time around he only sent me a message to tell me he was leaving and when he arrived on the other side of the world he sent another message and that was the last time I heard from him.  I missed him, I missed him so much until I had to change my phone number because I knew I was never going to hear from him again.

The motive of this story?  Do not break up with someone unless you really feel that you want out.  Hoping that the next person will come running and begging for you to take them back or make it work might not actually happen.  You will end up single and miserable and wishing you had not sent that message or made that phone call. If you are really over someone tell them in person because that from what I have learnt shows maturity.

Have you been in a situation like this before?

I want to know from the guys, have you taken someone back after she told you she didn’t want to be with you anymore?

 

©MaKupsy 2016

 

 

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21 Things Learnt From Past Relationships

I like to keep my blog as interactive as possible because I want the people who read my blog also feel a part of this journey.  I posted a question on Twitter and asked my followers to respond and this is what I got.

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@chaluva263 Love is not enough to sustain a relationship, it takes a lot more.

oney don’t buy loyalty.

@TinoNyandoro The thought of long term commitment scares me.

@ZaneleM_ That I wasn’t ready to be a girlfriend. I wasn’t ready for the commitment and dedication required.

@mangaliso21 I learnt that trust is like virginity; once lost it can never be regained.

@nyashanekutenda Not to take people for granted.

@YoliSpice Dreams can be shattered and you learn from them to create new and improved dreams, after all life does goes on.

@ICallMeCharmzyy I need to learn how to be selfish.

@zedd_tahlz Once a cheater, always a cheater.

@Do_Mie_Son To be honest and open about your feelings and be real to yourself.

@_Vickie_M Love in its “purest” form is a beautiful thing but on the flip side it can enslave you to your partner.

@yard_aric Be honest…I lost the love of my life for not being honest.

@DESIGNER_ANDRE Be in a relationship with someone who respects,appreciates,supports your goals and passion in life at all times.

@rufaro_et To be careful of emotional blackmail /manipulation.

@itskfizzle I’m currently too selfish and immature for relationships.

@the_dimpled_one A person will treat you how you allow them to. Stick to your standards and you will be surprised 😉

@tofunmi_ Love is not enough, really.

@stuntuya Our hearts crave companionship. Our minds never got the memo.

@kikkybadass I learnt that people will lie to get what they want ,I learnt how selfish humans can be at times,I learnt to love myself more.

@makholisa Sometimes God removes people so we meet better people.

The one lesson I learnt from past relationships is that I do not need to transform myself in order to be loved and accepted.  The one made for me will love me just as I am, flaws and all.

Care to share your own lessons from your past relationships?

©MaKupsy 2017

Turn The Page – Bobby Valentino

Do they still make men like these??  Men who will run after the woman they love to win her back or because of technology a new girlfriend is just a single message away? The moment you call it quits he disappears into thin air?  It’s like he was just waiting for the chance to break up so that he can move on with his life.

I love this track to bits all the same!

©MaKupsy 2017

Women Creative Wednesday : Ameera Mimi

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Ameera Mimi is a Zimbabwe Fashion Week Blogger of the Year 2015 & 2014 , Blogger, Producer…everything else faded out after I read those first three things and I thought to myself I HAVE TO BE THERE!  Yesterday was the first Women Creative Wednesday of the year 2017 at Moto Republik and it was full house.  It’s great to see women come together and take time out of their busy schedules to get to learn new things and network.

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photo by @persuasioninczw

She gave a presentation on her journey thus far and I must say I was really impressed.  I don’t think most people realise the amount of power social media actually has.  She is Ameera is a great example of social media gone right.  She got to travel to Mauritius and a number of different destinations thanks to blogging.

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What I loved about her was her warm and friendly personality.  I think one can go very far with an attitude like that.  I always encourage women to attend these events and true to my word I only give out PART of the information I would have learnt from the do.  That way next time you will come along and experience it for yourself.  Yesterday the top tips that were shared were:

  1. Be yourself (people want that touch of personality in a blog)
  2. Stay committed to your passion.
  3. Be consistent if you want people to keep coming back for more.
  4. Research.
  5. Network, it’s important to build relations, you never know when you might need something from someone or vice versa.
  6. MAXIMISE ON YOUR STRENGTHS

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This time around the decor by Moto Republik was beautifully done with roses, lights, wine, juice, cupcakes and crackers served before and after the event.  You know that combination will definitely get people talking.  However, I didn’t stay long enough to enjoy most of it because I had to rush home and get a good nights rest.  You know me and my love for running.  Over and above it was a beautiful and intimate event and I am already looking forward to the next one.  They will be held every second Wednesday of each month this year so I hope to bump into more familiar faces next time.  A big shout out to Mama Moto for bringing creatives together.

©MaKupsy 2017

#NatalieChallenge

Good morning #TeamFitness we have a big week ahead of us. Here are the Rules for the upcoming #NatalieChallenge.  The challenge has started today and we already have a handful of runners who have clocked in today’s distance.  The WhatsApp group has grown and it now has 40 members.  If you would like to read on the previous challenge please click on this here.

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As you already know we will be running predetermined distances for 5 days;

Monday 4km
Tuesday 4.5km
Wednesday 5km
Thursday 5.5km
Friday 6 km

Here is how we will be scoring the challenge to determine a winner.

1. Points
We will use a simple points system based on how you place in a day. Depending on the number of runners. Say if we have 20 runners; 1st place gets 20 points, 2nd place gets 19 and so on until 20th place who gets 1 point. If you do not run you will be awarded 0 points.

As the days progress points will be added in a log system and most points is awarded 1st place and so on.

2. Bonus points
Over the course of the challenge bonus points will be awarded as follows;

3. Completion bonus
5 points will be awarded for completing the challenge (5 days) to everyone who does.

4. Improvement bonus
5 points will be awarded to the 3 individuals with the most improved paces measured as the biggest difference between your first day pace (min/km) versus your fastest pace thereafter.

5. Continuous Improvement bonus
10 points will be awarded to any individual who improves their pace on each day. As in they go faster everyday for days 2, 3, 4 & 5.

6. Daily climber
From day 2 to 5, the individual with the biggest climb measured as difference between previous day ranking and current day ranking (overall points log) will be awarded 3 bonus points. Where there is a tie all individuals receive 3 bonus points.

7. #RunWithFitnessBae Bonus
Any individual who posts their run on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter using the hashtags #RunWithFitnessBae, #NatalieChallenge and #FitnessBae earns one extra point per day.

8. Fast Finisher bonus
If your last km in a particular run is your fastest km as measured by pace min/km, you are awarded an additional bonus point. One per person per day.

Bonus points will carry the same weight as ordinary points.

Penalties and disqualification
There will be NO penalties leveled on runners nor will people be disqualified or withdraw. Once you’re in you’re in.

Those are your rules everyone. Remember to have fun!

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P.S. Please support the #RunWithFitnessBae on Thunderclap it won’t take a minute of your time and no you don’t have to run as well.  It’s just a way of spreading the word for the Running Challenge.

Please also like my Fitness page on Facebook.

Get fit or die trying…

©MaKupsy 2016

21 Questions with MaKupsy

Hello everyone, it’s been a beautiful day so far.  I hope you are looking forward to the weekend as much as I am. A few minutes ago I got an email from a fellow blogger Kudzai and I didn’t realise it was blog related.  I thought I had nothing to write about today and he magically came through for me.  He has hit me up with 21 Questions and trust me he is not ready for the come back I have for him!  Let me get to answering him as honestly and and as quickly as I can, my body is here but my mind is already out there celebrating the end of the working week!

  • A few people know your name, and also want to know the inspiration behind your blog name. Would you shed some light on that?

My name is Zvie.  My blog name derives from two things.  The first being “Ma” which is short for amai(mother) and “Kupsy” which is my daughter’s nickname.  I put the two together and came up with MaKupsy.

  • A lot of the times we see tweets about Marondera. Can you tell us about where you’re from?

My family moved around a lot when I was little.  I was born when we stayed in Kariba, then we moved to Chinhoyi when I was around 4 years old.  We left for Marondera in 1994.  I did my Primary School education in Marondera and High School, College and Work was in Harare…Help me decide where exactly I am from because I don’t know either.  LOL

  • What actually inspired you to start blogging?

Love/ lust, I am not really sure which one of the two it was but I think the latter because at some point the feeling went away.  I didn’t know how to tell a guy I was spending a lot of time with that I had the hots for him so I decided to write a blog post which he never saw.  How sad.  The other reason was to document my Fitness Journey.

  • Which of your blog posts are you most proud of?

The one I am most proud of has to be Butterfly .  I bled all my emotions out of that post.  I needed to let go off all the hurt and pain I had gone through and I did so the best way I know how; through writing.  It spoke to a lot of women and it is one of the most popular posts on my blog.

  • Can you say your blogging experience has helped your writing and communication skills to improve?

It definitely has!  I can’t just write up something and publish it.  I have to go over it once, twice, sometimes three times to check if there are no spelling mistakes, no grammatical errors, having to think of flavoured words, smooth transitioning of sentences; it’s not as easy as it looks but with time you get better at it.

  • You’ve gained a reputation for talking about subjects people generally take as sensitive. How do you do it?

I didn’t realise I had gained a reputation for writing about the subjects that intrigue me the most.  I am not sure if it’s a good or bad reputation though so you have to tell me more on this one.   To be honest, I am one of those bloggers who simply speaks/tweets/writes exactly what’s on her mind.  My blog is my space to entertain my thoughts so it’s a no holds barred area so I do it so easily.

  • What subject have you always had a passion for talking about? Is there a story behind this?

Most times I am passionate about writing on issues that women face.  From heartbreak, unfair treatment, body image issues, domestic violence the works.  The reason being I am woman above everything else, I have and still experience some of the things I have mentioned and also because I know my stories speak to other women right here in Zimbabwe and the world at large.

  • Everyone knows, you absolutely hate bad sex. Can you give us a snippet of one time you can say you really experienced some horrible loving?

I really need to stop over sharing.  The moment I read EVERYONE I just realised I talk too much!  Well, I once wrote about an incident over here so you can get a scoop of some of the horrible loving I received (or didn’t receive in this case).

  • Men in suits just do it for you, don’t they?

YES, YES AND YES!!

  • What qualifies as the biggest turn off for you?

The biggest turn off has to be typos and all this shorthand that’s supposed to be the in thing. I CAN NOT STAND SHORT HAND.  People are out here acting like letters are being sold if you want to use them.  The moment someone I am talking to on any social media platform starts with the shorthand nonsense I ignore them.  It truly grates on my nerves!

  • Your Fitness Program has also earned you quite the reputation. What inspired you to start running?

If I had not weighed in that fateful day when I went to visit my doctor I would probably not be Fitness Bae right now.  Two years ago I weighed 85kgs.  For someone who is only 163cm that is bad, very bad.  I was shocked beyond words because that was the exact weight I was when I was pregnant with my daughter.  Just a few days before giving birth I was 85kgs and there I was weighing the same weight and not pregnant.  It gave me the biggest wake up call of my life.

  • I imagine a lot of people pester you with “I wanna start working out too, can you give me some advice?” kind of questions. Maybe you could put it to bed once and for all for us amateurs LOL

Yes, I get those questions all the time and even after telling people what to and what not to do some won’t go ahead and start on the fitness journey.  The truth of the matter when it comes to fitness is that YOU have to want to do it.  People can suggest you do something about your weight but as long as you don’t want it yet it will never happen.  The only motivation that works with fitness is self motivation.

  • Obviously somewhere along the line, you thought of giving up. What kept you going?

When I initially started my workout program in August 2014 I had days I truly wanted to drop the whole thing.  My legs, thighs, shins everything hurt because my body was used to being idle.  I remember my dad telling me to keep at it because it was certainly going to hurt in the beginning.  I have kept going for a couple of reasons;

  1. I want to win all the Mother’s Races at my daughter’s school,
  2. I want to live longer and lead a healthy lifestyle,
  3. The results I see every week are amazing and I look so much better in my clothes, who would have thought I would own yellow, pink and all the pretty colour bras, they only have them in small sizes by the way!
  4. Running gives me feel good hormones and I can never imagine my life without it.
  5. I have made incredible friends thanks to my running addiction and they have made some amazing contributions in my life.  It would not be the same without them.
  • You love food (This is no secret). Coupled with your fitness program, doesn’t this present significant challenges to your love for making your taste buds dance, and to your fitness lifestyle?

The trick is to balance out everything.  The moment you deprive your body, the moment you over indulge.  I love my food without a doubt and what works for me is portion control and making sure I prepare the meals myself whenever I can that way I get to choose all the ingredients that go into the meal.

  • What’s the best restaurant you’ve been to in Harare? Have you blogged about it before?

I have been to a handful of restaurants so far but this year I have to admit that Victoria 22 took my breath away.  I went there for my birthday and I was absolutely wowed.  Yes, I blogged about it, that’s one of the other things I enjoy on my blog, writing about Restaurant Reviews.  The link for the Victoria 22 experience is here.

  • Are men trash?

LOL, how random is that question?  I will throw the same question back at you, are women trash?

  • There was one blog that caught my attention, about single mothers. You really went in on this one. Have you any words about the subject and people’s perception towards it?

I remember the blog.  It was meant to run as a series but I could not get enough people to contribute, it can still be done if I put my mind to it.  Just watch this space for details…About Single Mothers, society is messed up.  The moment they hear someone is a single mother they throw judgement and yet they don’t even know her story.  People need to grow up and stop treating single mothers like they have some sort of a disease.  Women are raising  a child or children on her own for different reasons.  Life happens, no one is perfect after all is said and done.

  • Your pride and joy…can you pick out one of your proudest mummy moments?

It was a random day that I spoke to Miss Kupsy over the phone.  I always tell her I love her at the end of each conversation.  That day I was in a rush and quickly said goodbye.  She called out “Mhamhi!” from the other end before I hung up then I replied her and she said “I love you”.  My heart melted, that was the first time she said that without me telling her first.  I was in puddles of joy, she is my little ray of sunshine.

  • You drink more than I do. You’re a fan of vodka too. So I am sure you have a story to tell about the most drunk you’ve been before. We’re listening…

You love stories way too much.  The funniest story I can recall that is Vodka related is the first time my cousin and I tried it.  When we got back home we struggled to go up the stairs.  We stayed on the fourth floor but thanks to having one too many we got to the third floor and tried to unlock the door.  It wouldn’t open and we passed out right there in the passage.  We got up sometime in the morning when we started feeling cold and obviously back to being sober and realised we were on the wrong floor!  Amateur drinking right there!  Now I’m a pro, come to me for the best Vodka mixes in town.

  • Can you recommend a good book to read, that isn’t Karma Sutra or Mills and Boon?

I have never in my life read a Mills & Boon, that was never my portion.  I recommend you get your hands on Half of A Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie you won’t put that book down.  If you are into our very own local literature read The Hairdresser of Harare by Tendai Huchu, it took me 3 days to finish it, it was that good!

  • Finally, can we expect much more from MaKupsy in the following months? Is there anything in the pipeline? Or is it a secret? Shall we keep our eyes and ears open?

You are not ready for the things I have lined up Fitness wise.  It’s going to be amazing, your go to place for all things workout related.  It’s not a secret but a surprise.  Come December this year, you will me totally blown away!

 

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MaKupsy

Have a lovely weekend everyone and stay inspired to be the best version of yourself each and everyday.

© MaKupsy 2016

What Is Love?

“If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can’t afford to be with them.”— Sloane Crosley

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Image from Google

No one will ever know the true definition of love.  I guess everyone has certain things that they feel or expect to be done for them in order to feel that they are in love or are loved.  I for one completely agree with the saying above that if you have to ask then it probably it’s time to reevaluate your relationship/ situationship . This post will have mostly questions instead of answers because as I look around me and watch what is going on I am still puzzled at what it is that love is supposed to be…

Is it love?  When a married man leaves his matrimonial home in the guise of a day out with his boys only for him to go to pay Lobola for his girlfriend? (see why I have trust issues with men?)  I mean, he made a vow to love his wife till the end of time but here he is vowing to love, honour and cherish another woman without his wife’s knowledge? Not only that, some men even go all out and consummate the marriage and have children, sometimes more children than he has at his matrimonial home.  I want to understand who is at fault in this equation; the man for chasing after another woman or the woman for accepting to get into a relationship with a man she knows is married?  But then again sometimes men are not honest and lie that they are single so in other instances you can not entirely blame the woman  because chances are she didn’t even know the man was already committed to someone else.

I realise over time that women want different things.  Some women

  •  want male presence and his marital status is not issue to her as long as he is there for her
  •  want financial security
  •  want someone who will give them children
  •  for some it is merely a hobby of getting someone who doesn’t belong to them
  •  some say they are attracted to married men

Oh well, different strokes for different folks?  Who am I to judge?  I’m just hear to think out loud.

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Image from Google

Is it love?  When a boyfriend continuously cheats on his girlfriend but she stays on because they have been together for the longest time and the fact that he keeps coming back shows that “he loves her” ?  I have read over and over again that a leopard does not change it’s spots so why do some women decide to torture themselves over and over again even though they know that they are achieving the square root of nothing.  I know someone is going to read this and say; but all men cheat!  I would like to believe not all, I am sure there is a handful out there somewhere who put their lustful ways aside and consider the queen in their life and resist temptation.  Those men are out there ladies, why not settle for one like him who will cherish you like you are the only woman in the world??

Is it love?  If you are constantly crying, always complaining to your girlfriends about what he did or did not do?  You keep bumping into messages of conversations with ex girlfriends in his phone, nude photos that he gets from random women, the birthday or anniversary that he forgot, him forgetting to pick you up from work because he was too busy with the boys, you having to rant and rave about why he hasn’t been calling you to check up on you.  I thought when people were in love those things came naturally?  If you have to rant and rave about the smallest of things then maybe just maybe love isn’t being served on that table…How many times do people realise that they are not being treated right and make a decision to leave?  I know, like rarely ever.  People just choose to stay(and complain about it over and over again) and panel beat a relationship that will obviously be going nowhere fast.  I understand that no one is perfect but some of the things that we entertain in this life can be a tad bit ridiculous…all in the name of love.

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Image from Google

Is it love?  If your partner will not go and get tested so that you both know your HIV status?  If he refuses to wear a condom because if you say otherwise then maybe it means you don’t “trust him.”  You would think protecting yourselves from sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy and HIV should be a part of your relationship goals right? WRONG, for some to show them how much you love them then questioning about his or sexual history is a non starter.  I personally don’t buy this “trust” business when it comes to sex because you are not with someone 24/7 and there is no way you can tell what they have been up to with their private parts!  If only private parts were detachable.  Why would one put themselves at such a risk?  Yes, we are all going to die some day, believe it or not!  But why get there sooner than your time when you can do something about prolonging your life.  I know I am just ranting here but we all know that after couples have dated for a long time condoms will become extinct but by all means do get tested so that you know where you both stand.  It isn’t love when you have to stay up at night worried out of your skull after a condom breaks and you both have not been tested.  DO NOT DO IT!

I just want to know what love really is.  I have observed and heard too much around me it has only left me knowing what love is not!

Who do you have any love role models in your life?  If yes, what attributes do you admire about their union?

ⒸMaKupsy 2016

The Guy With The Disappearing Acts…

Ladies. Do yourself a favour and stay away from guys who aren’t sure how they feel about you.  MaKupsy Feb 2015

There is never a dull moment in my life.  You already know this if you follow my blog.  Many moons ago there was a guy who my friend decided to “hook me up with”.  I am not a fan of “hook ups” but since my friend spoke so highly of him I was like why not get to meet him and see what he is all about.  We got to meet after chatting for a while over WhatsApp.  It was a brief meeting which probably lasted a minute, we were in the same area at the time so we just said hello.  I didn’t hear from him for a while after that.  I really wasn’t concerned but my friend on the other hand, she was all up with questions.

At some point we got back in touch again.  I think it was actually after months.  The good thing is we had flawless conversation so we just picked up where we left of.  That time we probably kept in touch for a month, or was it two, to be honest I really wasn’t counting but after some time he disappeared again.

That’s when I told my friend that her hook up was a joke.  Who blows hot and cold without specific reason(s)?  Like you are just left there to wonder what’s going on?  I told her that her “dating service” had really gone wrong and I actually didn’t want to talk to this guy anymore.  My friend was his biggest cheerleader and she kept giving me imaginary excuses as to why he wasn’t keeping constant communication with me.  The only good thing about this whole thing was that I actually hadn’t grown any real feelings for him so whether he appeared or disappeared did not make much of a difference to me.

Then he came back YET AGAIN, gosh the way that just drains your freaking energy.  This time he had flowery words and “acts of kindness” to go with it.  The guy was taking me to work, picking me up, spending time with me, doing errands together, going out and even having conversations over the phone till I fell asleep with my phone in my hands.  Then like clockwork he disappeared into thin air.

Let’s get to the juicy bit of this story.  This guy then came back again with a story about:

  1. How he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship
  2. How he was scared to be in a committed relationship
  3. How he had never had a relationship with a Twimbo (Zimbabwean on Twitter)
  4. How I was a great person but he just couldn’t be in a relationship with me
  5. How he had fallen in love with me

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Biggest joke ever!  Who has so many conflicting statements in one go?  I just sat there and listened and just said to myself I am too old for this shit!  To make things even more annoying was the fact that I actually didn’t have a romantic connection with this guy and here he was selling me a bullshit story.  What we had was a good friendship and nothing more.  He clearly had a whole lot of issues to deal with and I was not sticking around to witness them because I need me some peace of mind.

I know you are reading this and asking yourself why I kept entertaining him after he got back from wherever he would have disappeared to but you know how some women just love attention, yes, I was in it for the attention I got. 

Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad person but I just think he was hoping at some point he would get laid and so each time he came with a different story to try and convince me that he was into me.  Yes, I said it!  I believe that a guy always knows what he wants from the get go and he will make his intentions clear.  If he is acting all kinds of shady then he clearly has a motive which probably won’t end well.

To the ladies I say to you; if you ever find yourself in this situation run away as fast as you can.  That guy will leave you confused for days and you don’t need that kind of individual in your life.  Be with a guy who knows what he wants, period!

In Alfie’s famous words: “You don’t get to reserve people for later because you are not ready; that’s not how this love thing works hatisi mufushwa!” (we are not dried vegetables!!)

MaKupsy

 

 

I Lost 10 kgs In A Year

It has been a whole year of a complete change of lifestyle.  I started working out in August 2014 and I weighed in at 83kgs.  That is the weight I was when I was when I was at my full term pregnancy in September 2011.  Now you can only imagine the horror I went through after realising how overweight I was.  It took me by surprise BUT I decided to do something about it with immediate effect.  I started with a variety of act ivies such as Zumba, aerobics, yoga, jogging, power walking, dancing and above all else changing my eating habits.  (This was the hardest part for me)  I made it through and one year later I am exactly 73kgs.  I lost 10 kgs in one year.  Have you seen what 10kgs looks like???  It has been one interesting journey which I plan on continuing with for the rest of my life.  However, after a few months into my programme I dropped some of the workout activities because I realised that I enjoy running more than anything and the feel good hormones that come with it are priceless.

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Let me share my fitness and nutrition essentials before, during, and after my workout

 

I am a morning workout person so I actually don’t eat anything before my workout; I simply up and go.

  • What music do you listen to during your workout?

I like to keep it hyped.  I currently have Jah Prayzah‘s complete album titled Jerusalem; The Pink Print album by Nicki Minaj and a couple of single songs by Sean Paul.

  • How do you switch up certain routines daily/weekly to stay motivated?

I started working out exactly one year ago.  I started with basic indoor sit ups, a workout DVD here and there but generally light routines.  I decided to up the tempo because I wasn’t getting any results.  I started with power walking and light jogging which over time turned into running.  I change my running routes every other day so that it doesn’t become too predictable and boring.  I also do dance workout videos that I get from YouTube as well as home workout DVDs I get when I buy Women’s Health Magazines.

  • What do you eat or do after your workout to make sure you got the most out of your work out?

After my workout I hydrate.  I usually have 500ml or 1 litre of water depending on the distance I would have ran or the indoor workout routine I would have done.  I also make sure that I have fruits just before I leave the house; either bananas or apples but bananas seem to keep me fuller for longer.  I don’t have time to make a full healthy breakfast before I leave home but two hours later I have my healthy breakfast from work and a cup of black coffee to keep me alert throughout the day.
What we do before our workout can make or break our potential success!

I went through www.etbfit.com the other day because I am ALWAYS reading different articles on how to stay fit and healthy.  It sounds they have really good products going on and I want to get my hands on them! There is always need to shake things up on this health and fitness journey and I think I can find healthy alternatives to fuel my fitness!  I have my eyes on the pre-workout package and you should too!

MaKupsy

My A-Z Of Random Thoughts

A lot of things can happen in a year.  It’s just that a lot of people never take time to take note of it.

Before 2015 I never believed that I could actually lose weight, be a positive thinker, get my licence or even let go of all the pain and hurt I had been carrying around me.

Committing to anything does not come easy but it can be done.  I have managed to commit to my health and fitness journey and I feel all shades of happy about it.

Do not ever stop for one moment and think that you cannot achieve the goals you set out for yourself.  It really is mind over matter if you ask me.

Each day, tell yourself how capable and wonderful you are on the inside and the outside.

Forget about the past.  That shit will haunt you if you keep holding onto it.

God must always be a part of your life, if you believe in Him that is.  I hardly go a day without talking to Him.  He completes me.

Have a life of your own outside your friendships, relationships, family, you need to learn to enjoy your own company.

Issues.  Everyone has them and you just have to remember that no one is perfect and it will be a lot easier to get along with those around you, yourself included.

Jordans and our men; what is it about those sneakers???

Keep some parts of your life private. (if you can help it) the world really doesn’t need to know EVERYTHING about you.

Love, the best thing that can ever happen to you once it finds you.

Motherhood is a beautiful thing.  You have to be in it to understand it completely.

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Image from Pinterest

Never lead someone on.  It wastes time, energy, effort and emotions.  Life is too short to be stringing someone along.

Orgasm.  Don’t just wait for him to guess how to make you get an orgasm.  Ladies, you have to learn to explore your own body so that when it’s time to get your freak on you direct your man to what makes you drip, drop, drip drippddy drop (insert very naughty smile here)

Period pain is the worst thing that ever happened to a woman.  I really wish there was something you could do to just stop the period altogether and no getting pregnant is a temporary solution so don’t even suggest it.

Questions should be asked when you have them.  Here’s a good example, stop asking your friends what they think your significant other feels about certain things, ask HIM not them.  It makes your life a whole lot easier.

Remember the important dates especially birthdays.  Buy your close friends and family a gift, prepare a meal, send them flowers, do something you know they love and will appreciate on their big day and then make a habit of reminding them how special they are to you as and when you can.

Sometimes it’s going to rain.  Not all days are meant to be sunny days but while it rains find ways to dance in the passing storm.  It won’t last forever.

Tomorrow is never promised, do everything that makes you happy this very moment.

Uncircumcised penis or circumcised penis, that is the question.

Violence against women is still a touchy subject for me.  Why do some men raise their hand on a woman when they know she will clearly not be able to defend herself?  Would they want their own daughter, mother or sibling treated like that?  Do they not know the amount of damage they cause?  Let me stop right here before things becomes a whole new post!

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. Thoughts are things! And powerful things at that, when mixed with definiteness of purpose, and burning desire, can be translated into riches. – Napoleon Hill

Xerox a company I see when I drive along Samora Machel Avenue en route to wherever the fun will be.

Yoga…I tried it several times and it is official, we are not going to be doing that form of exercise anytime soon.

Zvie my second name, and chances of you ever knowing the full name are close to none….

 

MaKupsy