Buy Your Own Condoms!

I asked a couple of guys where they keep their condoms after they buy them and I got some pretty interesting locations.

  • wallet
  • sock drawer
  • back pocket
  • under the mattress
  • glove compartment
  • back pack
  • under the pillow
  • friends place

As you can see, these men are not even playing about their safe sex game, they are always prepared!

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image from Google

However, given the location of these condoms you might just want to reconsider who will be responsible for keeping them.  I mean, can we really trust these men to be the condom keepers?  The chances of a condom not being 100% effective after being stored in a wallet for days on end are very slim.  As for the glove compartment; imagine all that heat your car can be sometimes exposed to, it will definitely affect the condoms; next thing you’re out there having sex with your partner and it breaks and you don’t even realise it until you’re done and you have a “petticoat” on your penis.  NOT a good look, do the right thing and store your condoms in safe space that way you and your partner can both enjoy a stress free love making session.

That said, I think women need to be more liberal when it comes to buying condoms.  I know you’re reading this and thinking, ‘I could never!” but look at it this way, if shit hits the fan and you are not keeping your own condom stash chances of having unprotected sex are higher. I’ve noticed that most women who do buy condoms buy the male condoms and I don’t blame them at all.  Have you seen what a female condom looks like?  You could throw in your lipstick, mascara, lip gloss, hand mirror and even your purse spray in that condom.  Whoever made them didn’t put much thought into it.  The first time I saw it I was convinced that this was meant to be a joke!  It really looks like a plastic bag that you are expected to insert inside your vagina.  I know nothing about condom manufacturing but maybe just maybe something a little more user friendly would have been great.  I for one have never used the female condom and have no intention of doing so anytime soon!

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one can’t help but wonder what women ever did to deserve this :*

I’ve had the opportunity to buy condoms a few times in the past and I’ve noticed that it seems to be a very uncomfortable experience for a lot of people.  BUT there are some benefits to going to get your own condoms;

  1. You choose the flavour you want, strawberry is that you?
  2. You can ask questions about the product from whoever is behind the counter and get them feeling embarassed for days because people generally don’t expect any questions to be asked when buying condoms.
  3. You will be in control of your sexual health because you know you aren’t about that taking risks with your vagina.

To be honest, buying condoms is both an entertaining and empowering experience that I think every woman should try out.  I’m still amazed at how people stare as if they aren’t having sex.

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image from Pinterest

To everyone reading this and thinking this woman is crazy telling us to go and buy our own condoms, tell you what…It’s better to be over-prepared than under-prepared.  The consequences of being reckless include and are not limited to sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, stress and that’s something noone wants to go through!

Please take a second to vote on the poll and share your thoughts on who should be responsible for buying and keeping condoms.

 

©MaKupsy 2017

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What Is Love?

“If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can’t afford to be with them.”— Sloane Crosley

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Image from Google

No one will ever know the true definition of love.  I guess everyone has certain things that they feel or expect to be done for them in order to feel that they are in love or are loved.  I for one completely agree with the saying above that if you have to ask then it probably it’s time to reevaluate your relationship/ situationship . This post will have mostly questions instead of answers because as I look around me and watch what is going on I am still puzzled at what it is that love is supposed to be…

Is it love?  When a married man leaves his matrimonial home in the guise of a day out with his boys only for him to go to pay Lobola for his girlfriend? (see why I have trust issues with men?)  I mean, he made a vow to love his wife till the end of time but here he is vowing to love, honour and cherish another woman without his wife’s knowledge? Not only that, some men even go all out and consummate the marriage and have children, sometimes more children than he has at his matrimonial home.  I want to understand who is at fault in this equation; the man for chasing after another woman or the woman for accepting to get into a relationship with a man she knows is married?  But then again sometimes men are not honest and lie that they are single so in other instances you can not entirely blame the woman  because chances are she didn’t even know the man was already committed to someone else.

I realise over time that women want different things.  Some women

  •  want male presence and his marital status is not issue to her as long as he is there for her
  •  want financial security
  •  want someone who will give them children
  •  for some it is merely a hobby of getting someone who doesn’t belong to them
  •  some say they are attracted to married men

Oh well, different strokes for different folks?  Who am I to judge?  I’m just hear to think out loud.

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Image from Google

Is it love?  When a boyfriend continuously cheats on his girlfriend but she stays on because they have been together for the longest time and the fact that he keeps coming back shows that “he loves her” ?  I have read over and over again that a leopard does not change it’s spots so why do some women decide to torture themselves over and over again even though they know that they are achieving the square root of nothing.  I know someone is going to read this and say; but all men cheat!  I would like to believe not all, I am sure there is a handful out there somewhere who put their lustful ways aside and consider the queen in their life and resist temptation.  Those men are out there ladies, why not settle for one like him who will cherish you like you are the only woman in the world??

Is it love?  If you are constantly crying, always complaining to your girlfriends about what he did or did not do?  You keep bumping into messages of conversations with ex girlfriends in his phone, nude photos that he gets from random women, the birthday or anniversary that he forgot, him forgetting to pick you up from work because he was too busy with the boys, you having to rant and rave about why he hasn’t been calling you to check up on you.  I thought when people were in love those things came naturally?  If you have to rant and rave about the smallest of things then maybe just maybe love isn’t being served on that table…How many times do people realise that they are not being treated right and make a decision to leave?  I know, like rarely ever.  People just choose to stay(and complain about it over and over again) and panel beat a relationship that will obviously be going nowhere fast.  I understand that no one is perfect but some of the things that we entertain in this life can be a tad bit ridiculous…all in the name of love.

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Image from Google

Is it love?  If your partner will not go and get tested so that you both know your HIV status?  If he refuses to wear a condom because if you say otherwise then maybe it means you don’t “trust him.”  You would think protecting yourselves from sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy and HIV should be a part of your relationship goals right? WRONG, for some to show them how much you love them then questioning about his or sexual history is a non starter.  I personally don’t buy this “trust” business when it comes to sex because you are not with someone 24/7 and there is no way you can tell what they have been up to with their private parts!  If only private parts were detachable.  Why would one put themselves at such a risk?  Yes, we are all going to die some day, believe it or not!  But why get there sooner than your time when you can do something about prolonging your life.  I know I am just ranting here but we all know that after couples have dated for a long time condoms will become extinct but by all means do get tested so that you know where you both stand.  It isn’t love when you have to stay up at night worried out of your skull after a condom breaks and you both have not been tested.  DO NOT DO IT!

I just want to know what love really is.  I have observed and heard too much around me it has only left me knowing what love is not!

Who do you have any love role models in your life?  If yes, what attributes do you admire about their union?

ⒸMaKupsy 2016

My Birth Control Experience

I actually didn’t grow up with vast knowledge on Birth Control.  You can read all about the only ever sex talk I got the day I got my first period here.  The only form of birth control I was aware of were Condoms and well, that didn’t go very well seeing that I got knocked up.   (please note the Withdrawal Method failed dismally in this case, use it at your own risk).   A few months after having my daughter we decided that we were going to try and not have another unplanned pregnancy so off to New Start Centre we went.  (Contraceptive is free at New Start Centre)

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Image from Google

I didn’t realise there were so many birth control methods available.  The counselor was very helpful and talked us through all the methods.   I had to weigh in so that she could check if my BMI was in check.  Unfortunately I was overweight and according to her I could not get onto almost all the methods because the hormones would make me gain even more weight.

She suggested I try The Loop also known as IUD: Intrauterine Device (IUD) for Birth Control.  An IUD is a small, T-shaped plastic device that is wrapped in copper or contains hormones. The IUD is inserted into your uterus by your doctor.  I think that method is only for the brave because having the IUD inserted is the most uncomfortable experience I have gone through to date.  Once it was done she told me that the only thing I would need to worry about was an extra day or two to my monthly period.  WRONG!

When I got my first period after getting The Loop I didn’t make it to work.  I never get period pain and I was confused when my lower back and abdomen were in excruciating pain.  I couldn’t even leave my bed.  I felt nauseous, I was weak and the thought of food was not helping matters at all.  I had to call in sick and made my way to the doctor.  I thought I was going to die!  At the same time I thought I was pregnant but how are you even pregnant when you are on your period?  I was worried sick.  When I got to speak to the doctor he told me that I was suffering from Dysmenorrhea; which is basically painful periods.  The doctor informed me that it was part of the side effects of the birth control method I had opted for.  I got a couple of pain killers and sleeping tablets to help me sail through my monthlys.  Well, that didn’t help much but at least it made me feel a little better.

That was not all, after my period I had a massive breakout on my face.  I have never seen my skin transform into someone that I couldn’t even recognise in the mirror.  Then my pee started to smell like copper. Oh my word!!!  Maybe it was just in my head…all the same before I got to the second month of using that method I went back to New Start and asked them to remove it!  I was unhappy and uncomfortable.  The counselor tried to convince me that my body needed at least 3 months to adjust to the foreign body but I would hear none of it.  I was not about to go another month of having an 8 day period!!!  Do you have any idea how expensive tampons are?!  Being on your period already sucks as it is now imagine going at it for a whole week… Goodbye sex!

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Image from Google

Once they removed The Loop I went and bought a whole box of condoms.  Yes, I am one of those individuals who don’t mind buying her own condoms because I value my health.  After that experience I just decided condoms are the way to go for me, I won’t have it any other way.

P.S I tried to use the female condom, it’s a NO for me, it’s too big, actually looks like a plastic bag, but that’s just me.

Ladies, talk to me, which birth control method are you on?

Which one did you have a bad experience with?

Who taught you about birth control?

No glove, no love.

©MaKupsy 2016