Sex On The First Date

First dates are designed to produce a number of relationship outcomes. (e.g. sexual partner, friendship, short-term romantic relationship, or life partnership.) – Wikipedia

I don’t know about you but I know that sex is a pretty enjoyable experience.  Without it the world would probably be one very boring place!  A lot of people are not comfortable talking about sex, which is very much okay because we are different but unfortunately for you I love to go on and on about it as and when.  Today I want to share my thoughts on having sex on the first date.  It comes with a lot of controversy of course but look, dating as described above is a process that yields different outcomes so having sex or not largely depends on the individuals involved.

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Image From Pinterest

 

First things first, you have to decide if you want to establish why you want to date.  With that out of the way your first date won’t be too awkward.  Below are some of the reasons why you should totally have sex on the first date.

  • Life is short!  Do you have any idea how you can go for weeks, months or even years without getting laid and here you are trying to deprive your lady bits of such pleasures?
  • If the chemistry is there there’s really no need to hold out on him, be a go getter!  Let’s just dive straight into dessert, who has time for the main meal, right?
  • You are confident that this is what you really want and you won’t start regretting it afterwards.
  • The earlier you have sex the better to save yourself time.  You might choose to wait for months only to be disappointed that time you have already caught feelings and now you end up staying with that person for all the wrong reasons!
  • Whatever you do just make sure you get yourself a shattering orgasm and not leave yourself unsatisfied.  Do you have any idea how lovely those sex hormones feel, not forgetting the after sex glow, you will be smiling for days to come.

However, I do understand that a lot of people, women especially have some reservations when it comes to having sex on the first date.  These are some of the reasons why having sex on the first date might not be a very bright idea.

  • You probably don’t know enough about someone to let them into such an intimate part of your life.  Are you ready to deal with the demons that come with them?
  • Your partner might judge you for being too forward.
  • Say goodbye to your judgement.  Once you get some good dicking you can kiss thinking straight goodbye.  Most people get attached to someone once they have sex with them and if things happen to go wrong it will be difficult to let go.  Now you are stuck with a complete as*hole but the sex game is out of this world.  Good dick is NOT your friend!

I’ve read a couple of articles that encourage women to wait to have sex with their potential partner for 90 days. Apparently this will determine if someone will stay with you for the long haul.  Truth be told, some people had someone wait for a whole year and they still left!  After all is said and done someone will leave if they want to, whether you have sex with them on the first date or after 90 days.

There’s absolutely no formula to this whole sex on the first date thing.  It can work out for the good or the bad depending on the couple involved.  However, if you do decide to have sex whatever you do ALWAYS practice safe sex.  My thoughts still remain the same on the subject.  I’m too old to die from lust because a, b and c said you should do this.  I will do what I think is right for me because You Only Live Once!

You can check out some of the comments on the subject from one of my favourite Facebook Pages from here.  There is never a dull moment there and you should like and follow and never miss out on daily discussions.

What are your thoughts on sex on the first date or even better, care to share your experience on the subject?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

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Day 13: I Will Marry When I Want

When are you getting married?

The next person who asks me when I am getting married is going to get stone cold silence from me.  I swear I get asked this question at least once a week and it annoys the heck out of me! What is wrong with people?  Can’t a woman just enjoy her life without always being asked about her marital status update?  You would think trying to explain why you are not married yet will stop people from asking but no, you’re wrong, they keep coming back to ask you the same damn thing every single time.  What about asking me how I am doing, how my dreams and aspirations are going, something, anything, just not about marriage.  You know what amuses me the most?  The fact that people think that husbands are found in supermarkets.  Like you just waltz into Pick n Pay, go through the “Husband shelf” and voila, you have yourself a husband!  Or maybe there’s a dial-a-husband application that I’m not aware of that delivers husbands to your doorstep?  It doesn’t work like that people, this sh*t is complicated.

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Shingi & Tonde

While we’re on the marriage subject I just want to say congratulations to my favourite couple above whose pictures I can’t help but use each time I write about all things lovey dovey.  They got married recently and I am absolutely happy for them and yes they are responsible for the beautiful images in today’s post.

Back to the subject at hand.  I for one have mixed feelings when it comes to marriage.  One moment I am super anti marriage telling myself I don’t need anyone I have been doing this life thing on my own for all these years why in the world would I need someone to come and turn my perfectly defined life upside down?  Then some days I’m thinking am I really going to die alone Oh My Goodness who will take care of me?  If I’m very honest with myself though I think marriage would be a great idea provided I meet the right candidate.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of men out there but how many of them are the right match for me?  Marriage is a lifetime decision and if I’m going to choose that path it is going to be with someone who will want the same thing.  I’m a mother and this whole let’s date for fun and see how it goes thing doesn’t cut it for me.  I have another human being to consider and if I choose to get married the person in question will play a very important role in my daughter’s life.  Which begs the question, how many men out there are willing to date and marry a woman who already has a child in tow?  Let me see, probably 5 in the whole wide world.  Let’s laugh together shall we?  Like I said it’s complicated!

To everyone who keeps asking me when I’m getting married please take a seat.  As and when the time is right it shall happen.  You won’t hear the end of it, you will deactivate your social media accounts, I will be telling you about “my husband” at every given opportunity and we will be inseparable it will make you sick to your stomach.  We will love each other fearlessly and spend the rest of our natural lives together because once we get married there is no turning back, we will be in it for life.  For now allow me to take my time and wait for my King to come and collect his Queen who is working on becoming a better person one day at a time.

I remember having a conversation about relationships with Shingi not so long ago.  She shared some tips on what has worked for her relationship in the past 3 years.  We were meant to write up a thread on Twitter but we never got time to do so.  Today is your lucky day because I have the tips right here with me;

1. Don’t just get into a relationship, know what you want out of a relationship.

2. Get to know him or her first. This is where long distance relationships are a plus. They allow you to know a person a bit before you meet. I’m not saying all long distance relationships work out but some have.

3. Friendship is important, that’s something that keeps things going in seasons when romantic feels face a storm.

4. Sharing the same belief is critical as it lays a foundation in your relationship.

5. Know how to SHOW him how you feel without saying it and he should also know how to SHOW you too. Emphasis on Love language!

6. Meaningful relationships are not secretive and should not be a secret. Meaningful relationships have witnesses and that is why people invite guests to witness their marriage.

7. A relationship that is long term will involve friends & family. Know this!

8. Believe in each other and learn to function as a team. Bonds grow stronger when you face challenges together.

9. Share a vision (exactly what you want, put it out there). This sets direction on how to build a life together. Cementing the foundation.

10. Talk to each other, it might sound funny but must couple can’t they talk over each other. Communication is key. 🔑🔑🔑

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Photo Credit: Shingi (@lana_chik)  Twitter

*Disclaimer* Each couple is responsible for their own relationship’s success and those tips might not work for everyone.

I have written about my thoughts on marriage in the past and some of the posts have been controversial as always.

I Will Marry For Money

I Have A Confession

Marriage Behind Closed Doors

What is that ONE question that people keep asking you that pisses you off?  Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017