Before I start telling you why you should take a break from dating just know humans ain’t shit. People don’t know who they are; most don’t have the slightest clue of what they do or don’t want and yet they want to drag you into their lives so that you can be a part of their mess. From my view point, only when you are fully aware of who you are must you enter into a relationship other than that, stay single; learn and unlearn what you’re about one day at a time.
1. You focus too much on your partner and not enough on your own life.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being concerned about your partner. However, if that’s the focus of your life then you just might have a problem. We’ve all seen people who behave in this fashion and whose lives revolve around their significant others. Sit at home all weekend waiting for them to suggest an outing, always celebrating their partners achievements and successes meanwhile they are doing nothing to upgrade themselves, never doing anything on their own because they “prefer to be with their SO”, obsessing about them, going on and on about how amazing they are which falls nothing short of deifying them. Guys please work with me here; another human being is not a hobby. You need to get a life outside this person.
2. You are not experiencing growth in your dating experiences.
Imagine never getting to try out new places to eat, new adventures, adopting new healthy habits, getting to meet new people and making new friends together. Do think deeply about this; if you stagnate and remain the same person you were after dating someone then surely that relationship wasn’t really worth your while now, was it? Relationships should make us grow.
3. You keep dating the same problematic characters.
Ever noticed how some people have a “type”? Yes, that type that gives them sleepless nights and endless headaches. The type you know deep in your heart of hearts is not good for you. Sometimes it really isn’t them. Sometimes it’s you. You already know the recipe for the upcoming disaster but you entertain it anyway. You need to do yourself a favour and remember the famous words of Albert Einstein;
“Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results.”
4. You are obsessed with getting into a relationship.
Ever stopped to ask yourself why you actually want to be in a relationship? I know I have, countless times. Sometimes it was for the strangest of reasons. I would see beautiful couples on Instagram and think WOW they look so happy I also want that in my life. Do you fall in love with the idea of being in love? Fear of missing out will take you to places that you will forever regret if you don’t manage it well. So each time the need to be in a relationship pops up, take a step back and ask yourself WHY?
5. You just came out of a relationship or a bad break up.
Rebound relationships been there done that wouldn’t recommend it to when you are at your most vulnerable. If you’re hurting you should be healing not dating. Do not use someone as a crutch to get over your pain. Then again people are different and if you feel you need to do that go right ahead but be warned that you may not be riding into the sunset for a ‘happily ever after’ ending.
What are some of the reasons you think one should take a break from dating? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.