Day 29: Are You The One Catching A Grenade?

Relationships are a sensitive subject and there is always something new that happens to f*ck things up!  Just when you think you and your partner are smooth sailing you start picking up a red flag or two and think this too shall come to pass?  Most times it does but some times it doesn’t and you end up stuck in a relationship that is slowly sucking the life out of you.  There are different signs for everyone but I would like to believe that the following usually spell bad news is on it’s way.  I know I always want to look at the sunny side of things but let’s be honest sometimes you might really be the only one catching a grenade in your relationship.

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Image from Google

  • Envy
  • Cruel behaviour or attitude
  • Negativity (general outlook)
  • Lack of interest in you or your life
  • Abuse of all types
  • Feeling that you are no longer happy within the relationship

Methinks toxic relationships can be summed up in Bruno Mar’s song, Grenade, have a listen…

You thought this was going to be a never ending post on relationships right?  It’s Friday and there is just one more day to go on the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge.  I’m going to keep it short and sweet.

Do you have any signs that you would like to add to the list?  I would love to hear from you.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

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Day 28: It’s All Fun & Games Until You Start Staying Together!

‘Kuchaya Mapoto translation Cohabiting”

Dating can be a really fun experience.  From the dates, the gifts,the getting to know each other phase.  Your partner seems perfect, too perfect sometimes you start thinking they might be too good to be true.  In my opinion it’s like that because you don’t get to spend ALL your time with them.  I think the one time you truly get to find out who you are dating is when you start living together.  I once tried out cohabiting and the first few months were bliss.  Nothing can compare to waking up next to the person who makes your heart go pitter-patter.  Lovely as it may seem, there are a few issues that come with living together, let me list a few of them.  This was my experience…

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Sleeping Patterns

I sleep really early.  On a good day I am lights out anytime before 9:30pm.  When I go to sleep I want complete darkness in the room and no background noise.  That wasn’t the same for my partner.  He loved watching TV in bed and he used to wake up at ungodly hours to watch NFL games.  You can imagine how annoyed I got because that meant I would be wide awake and most times I had work the next day and that just made me very cranky come morning.  He was happy he got to watch the game, I was pissed off because I didn’t have enough sleep.  Drama, drama!

Bad Habits

We all have our little bad habits that are magnified once we start spending all our time with someone. Things like:

  • not putting the toilet seat back down when you finish using the loo.
  • not flushing after you finishing doing whatever business you choose to partake in in the loo.
  • farting in the presence of your partner. I know this one becomes inevitable after staying together for a long time BUT personally, it’s a no no.
  • not picking up after yourself.
  • not making the bed, in my world if you are the last one to leave the bed it’s your job to sure you make it, sounds fair to me.

Household Chores

This can be a real train smash if one of you is lazy.  You might end up feeling taken for granted because all the household chores will be on your list of things to do.  From experience I have concluded that everyone has something that they don’t mind doing housework wise and something they absolutely can’t stand!  For example, I don’t mind doing laundry, it’s the ironing part I can’t deal with.  I used to do all the laundry and once it was dry I would fold it and pack it away and iron as I go.  My partner found it absolutely ridiculous.  He believed once laundry was done it had to be ironed there and then. For the sake of peace and progress we split that chore and made sure I washed and he ironed, everyone is happy.  However, the other chores around the house were a real mission because he was lazy and I ended up doing everything else and resented him as each day passed by.

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Finances

I like saving for a rainy day.  I am that one person who probably has some money stashed away somewhere for emergencies.  I don’t believe in spending all my money and then worrying about how I am going to get to my next pay cheque.  My partner on the other hand loved blowing his money.  We would sit down, draw up a budget and agreed that come end of the month we would do a,b,c,d.  You don’t know what frustration is until you get home and find out that your partner has bought a $50 shirt that wasn’t a part of the budget and now you have to forgo important things that month.  It’s at that point that you realise that people clearly have different priorities.  Don’t get me wrong, getting yourself new things is all fine and dandy but when you have talked about things beforehand it would be important to communicate such decisions for the sake of peace and progress.

Sex

This blog would be incomplete without mentioning  sex.  Trust me when I tell you, the sex will be amazing.  Well, it was for me.  Sex at any time of day, no need to send a message asking “Sweetiepie how long are you going to take to get here?” when you are feeling hot and bothered because you have your partner with you.  You can explore, experiment and get enough the orgasms because there is no rush to go anywhere.  BUT there is obviously a big but in this; when things are not going well between a couple especially due to some of the issues I have mentioned above sex might not even happen.  Couples that are usually unhappy end up not having sex and just become room mates who happen to share a bed.  Thankfully we didn’t experience this because maybe we were just sex addicts (if sex saved relationships we would probably still be together) but for some I have heard that you can go a pretty long time without sex when your partner is mad at you.

Depression

This is an actual thing!  When you stay with someone chances of feeling depressed are actually very high especially when things are not going well between the two of you.  I remember we used to have cases where after a verbal fight he would walk out of the house and not come back.  Sometimes he would go for a whole weekend and I would be worried sick to my stomach not knowing if him walking away meant we had broken up, if he was alive, if he still wanted to talk to me…I had a million questions going through my head and him not picking up my calls or replying my messages made me all the more miserable.  I ended up feeling depressed and even after he came back and we talked things through in my heart I was never settled because I kept thinking one day he is going to walk away and never come back.  I had no hold on him, after all we were cohabiting and not legally married…

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To be honest, if you are thinking of cohabiting I say give it a try knowing that it might actually work out for you and if marriage is the end goal for both of you it might happen.  They say compromise is key right?  If you find that special someone you can gladly compromise then by all means don’t let my experience stop you.

Personally I won’t try it again, I have crossed out my bucket list in that department.  It was beautiful while it lasted but I love my space too much to have anyone else all up in it.  All that freedom to just be myself and do absolutely nothing all day in peace is priceless.  Then again I can’t exactly be alone for the rest of my life it would be nice to have someone to share all my highs and lows.  What would probably work would be staying in different apartments in the same building but we are still a couple(such wishful thinking!)or just getting married and buying a big house where you can always retreat to a different room when you are feeling upset and reconcile when you have cooled down…

My favourite ladies discussed the cohabiting topic sometime this year on the talk show, The Real and you should watch it and hear out their thoughts on the subject matter. 

After all is said and done, what matters the most is how you feel about each other and how far you are willing to go to make your relationship work.  Do what works for you and for the betterment of your living arrangement because at the end of the day what’s important is your happiness.  When you decide to stay with your partner get in it with open eyes and an open heart.

Today is Day 28 of the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge we are supposed to state ONLY the advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting but did you see just how overzealous I got??!!

Have you been in a cohabiting scenario before.  How did it work for you?  Are you still together with your cohabiting partner?  Are there any tips you would want to share on how to make living together more manageable?  Are you pro or anti cohabiting?

©MaKupsy 2016

Day 27: The Joys of Singledom

After asking a few people they told me they have never been single in their life, like ever.  They have jumped from one relationship to the next and never had the chance to just be on their own.  I know one friend who told me she would never cope being single because she is so used to having a man on her arm showering her with love and attention.  The reasons she told me about always being in a relationship will obviously be a topic for a different day because that will just spoil the mood I am trying to set in this post.  So what is being single?  Google will have you know that they define single as not married or not having a serious romantic relationship with someone.

I’m a mother and dating can be one heck of a tricky scenario because it’s no longer about what I want anymore.  I make decisions on who I will date depending on whether they will be good for my daughter or not.  I’m still working on that formula but trust me my intuition is never wrong when it comes to deciding on who to and who not to introduce to her.  Whoever I choose to be with has to be someone I can count on and be supportive especially emotionally supportive when I’m going through the most.  A bonus is someone who can develop a relationship with my daughter naturally.  When I feel confident that this is someone who will be around for a long time then I can gladly introduce them to her.  That said…

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photo credit from my Twitter tweind @monakadurira

I initially wanted to look at both the good and the bad things about being single.  But I decided not to because I am in a happy place and want to keep everything around me filled with positivism.  That said let me jump right into the joys of singledom and then later on add a few people’s views on their single status.

So; about that single life.  You do not have to answer to no one and that means you can do as you please, no questions asked.  (doing who you please is also very much an option)  You have this thing called “me time” that comes in abundance.  For someone who likes her space like me it’s the best thing about being single.  The other thing that just brings a huge smile on my face is that when you are single you are not busy worrying about what your partner is up to, with who, why, where and how.  That can be really taxing on your emotions given the rate at which most people don’t seem to be taking their relationships seriously these days and cheating has become a way of life for some.  You can sleep on your own in your own bed in any way you like, you can sleep like a starfish, upside down, back to front, inside out (does that even exist?) Whatever the case you have all that sleeping space to yourself and no snoring or farting partner to deal with!

The trip to New Start Centre is a breeze when you are single and have not been sexually active.  You can go there with your head up knowing you have been good to yourself and your body.  Have you been to New Start Centre when you have been busy sexing your boyfriend without protection and then found out he has been cheating??  That’s round about the time you wish you had stayed single and celibate and wish you could just cut out your vagina and throw it straight into the sea because it is clearly giving you unnecessary stress!

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Image from Google

Anywho, let’s see, what else is great about being single…oh yes, you get to treat yourself right and that can also be a yardstick for the way you would want your partner to treat you when you get into a relationship.  You learn the art of dating yourself.  You can try out going for dinner, a movie, coffee, stand up comedy, anything that tickles your fancy because there is no way you should miss out on the fun side of life just because you do not have anyone to share it with.

Some of my single blog readers had a few tips to share on what they love about being single, here goes:

Blog Reader 1
  • You can be alone and learn to love it, live with it, use that “alone time” to love yourself and nurture yourself! You deserve it!
  • Being single is the perfect time to amend your relationship with God, draw closer to God as well as to give all your petitions to Him.
  • I love having to make decisions without having to consider if someone else will be okay with it.
  • Less stress if you have had to deal with a cheating partner and their shenanigans in the past.  Being single means you have peace of mind.
Blog Reader 2
  • You get to spend all your money alone.
  • You have the freedom to have sex with any woman guiltlessly.
  • You don’t have curfews.
  • You have more money to spend on beer.

(I’m sure you can tell this blog reader is a guy!)

Blog Reader 3
  • You concentrate on whatever it is that makes you happy.
  • Being single means no unnecessary insecurities.
  • I’m at less risk of sexual immorality because I’m single.
  • I want to empower myself before anything else so right now I can fully concentrate on my goals without the distraction of a significant other.

So to everyone who says being single sucks, I guess you have been looking at it the wrong way.  If you are single there is hope for you to enjoy the season if you stop whining and take a step back to look at all the good things that come from flying solo…

You can also check out some dating blog posts from the following:

Dating While Parenting  by The Quarter Wife

Let’s talk about your dating journey, are you single or ready to mingle?

©MaKupsy 2017

Day 4: How Not To Mess Up A First Date

Your first date has to be one of the most nerve wrecking experiences when you are getting to know someone.  It’s all fun and games when you are messaging each other and talking over the phone here and there; but when it comes to the big day of the first date you need to get yourself in check incase your first date might end up being your last date.  You know I always have the hook up when it comes to all things juicy, so have a look-see below and read on tips on how not to mess up a first date from me and my good friend Tomukudza(Man Crush Everyday! He is always dressed to the nines you should totally check out his profile).  

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Photo Credit @tinonyandoro and @kayolicious (Twitter)

Dear Men;

  1. Be different.  Be bold!  Us women are tired of dinner dates, it’s 2017, so many exciting opportunities are out there to spend some one on one time together.  Nothing against dinner if that’s your kind of thing but at least try to think outside the box, you want your first date to make a lasting impression.
  2. Plan ahead.  You have obviously been talking about where you will probably go for your first date.  Make sure you go there beforehand and find out a few things about the place.  For example, if you have decided to go for a coffee date when you get there find out what’s on the menu, how much the food costs, the payment methods available, where the bathroom is, best time to come through.  Basically do your homework so that when you get there with your date you look organised and confident. That’s already a plus for you!
  3. Dress to impress.  Okay fine, not like you are going for some photo shoot of sort but look decent, iron your clothes, make sure they are clean, cut your nails, clean your shoes.  Just don’t show up looking like you just got out of bed.
  4. Be on time.  Nothing as unattractive as a guy who can’t keep time.  If anything happens to delay you please have the decency to call and let your date know you are running late.
  5. Talk about how much money you have, how many cars you own, how many businesses you run.  That is a sure way to lose a woman’s interest.  Are you trying to buy my love?
  6. Get off the phone.  Even though we live in a digitally active time when you are on a date, especially your first date it’s very important that you don’t fiddle with your phone and not pay attention to your date.  It’s best to put it on silent and pack it away in your pocket.  You can thank me later.
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image from Pinterest

Dear Ladies; (Tomukudza)

  1. Say something…no one wants to make time for someone who doesn’t talk.  The idea is to have conversation and you should make sure you take part in it.  A guy might be put off if he’s the only one doing all the talking.
  2. A woman who asks for money on a first date. Like please, that’s a total No No. You don’t want a guy going back home preoccupied about whether he’s getting himself a partner or a dependent.
  3. Don’t make everything about yourself. Have time to talk. Have time to listen. Like actually listen. The small things matter. Just as you expect a guy to take things you say about yourself seriously; also take time to hear what he says about himself seriously. If he says he loves football he means it. Don’t ridicule it because you can’t relate.
  4. Let there be no disconnect between the impression you have given of yourself via messaging and what you actually turn out to be. If a guy is expecting Sarah and what he meets turns out to be Rudo you may never see him again😂   Let me emphasise on this…Make up and filters. Don’t send him Beyonce like pictures and turn out to be…not so Beyonce.
  5. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not, it will cost you in the long run.  For example, before you meet you’re say “I love the outdoors or I like this type of food trying to live up to certain standards and turn out not to actually enjoy those things and not be the person you said you were.
  6. Please smell nice. Bad breath. Bad smells.  A BIG NO. Shave your armpits if you’re going to be wearing something revealing.   This is why it’s important to be on time. You don’t want to arrive all sweaty and breathless.

There you have it, the 12 tips that will definitely help you not to mess up your first date!  Whatever you do make sure you have fun, after all you are trying to get to know each other.  That means the TWO of you.  Not your brothers, sisters, aunts, don’t bring anyone else other than yourself on your first date!

The #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge continues and you can check out some of today’s posts from the African Bloggers taking part:

Any tips to share?  Any fun stories to tell about your first date experiences?  Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Social Media & Dating

Social media has taken relationships to a whole new level.  Now you get to publicly share your private and intimate moments that you indulge in with your significant other. It’s interesting to watch couples in love, swooning all over each other and posting selfies with on social media with cute captions.  However, I have mixed feelings when it comes to publicising who you are dating on social media platforms for the following reasons:

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Image from Pinterest

Pros

  1. When you are in love you want the whole world to know and it’s only normal to want your social media friends to share your happiness.
  2. When you post your significant other people will know they are taken and *hopefully* stay away.
  3. Posting your significant other is also a sign of confidence in who you are dating.

Cons

  1. If you need to conceal your significant other from the world then what the heck are the two of you doing together? Please note there is a difference between being private and being a big secret.
  2. Most people on social media have a sense of entitlement. They feel that just because you share pictures with your significant other they now have the right to know intimate details of your relationship; people prying and needing to know why a couple broke up.  I have been guilty of this myself at some point in my life.  It’s not a good trait, we should learn to mind our own business…then again, people make it our business!
  3. You can’t help but feel like you have to live up to social media expectations because people now expect to see demonstrations and expressions of your love on special occasions. Take a birthday for instance, people want to see what you get on your special day and if your significant other is really #BaeGoals or not (feel free to Google that hash tag).  Talk about pressure!
  4. Some people are attracted to someone who is already taken…need I say more?
  5. Imagine posting your significant other every single day on social media and then one day you break up and you have close to 100 pictures of them all over your online space. The stress of deleting each picture one by one is something I shudder to imagine.
  6. You can’t express your opinions about relationships in peace without people thinking you are talking about your significant other. You can’t even join the #MenAreTrash movement because we will quickly assume your man is trash too! L.O.L

Ever noticed how people with money don’t make noise about it?  Take Strive Masiyiwa for example, the man is a whole millionaire but you don’t hear ad nauseum about his success or how he spends his millions. I think it the same applies to couples who are genuinely in love.  They keep it classy, you know they are dating, they share pictures yes but they keep it to a minimum and you actually look forward to their social media posts.

Then there is this one guy whose name I shall not care to mention but brags about his financial status on social media platforms like, come on!  I mean dude, you have money, we get it but why do you feel the need to tell us ALL about your life in a bag of chips?  Gosh, is he annoying or what?!  These are my sentiments about couples who over-share on social media.  Why do you find it necessary to bombard people with posts about your significant other every other hour telling us how great your relationship is going? Sometimes I can’t help but feel that people like that feel inadequate and are seeking validation, then again that’s just me.

Showcasing your love on social media is just like having a wedding.  Some will be happy for you, others will not be amused and the rest might wish you misfortune.  BUT that doesn’t mean people should stop getting married because people will receive the news differently.  Love should be celebrated whenever it can be! – Batanai Tuwe

What are your thoughts on the subject?  Do you share pictures of your significant other on social media platforms?  If yes, how is that going for you so far?  If not, what’s the reason behind it?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Marriage Is A Journey

Marriage is a journey.  I know this because I read it on the news feed of one of my favourite couples on Facebook.  I randomly stalk their page and each time I do so there is always something inspirational and heartwarming.  Today this is what I bumped into.

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Cynthia & Her Husband Sean

Marriage is like buying a second hand car. What attracted you to it was probably the shiny paint, the interior, the sound system etc, and it felt like a “new car” to you.
You then bought the car , entered into a relationship with it to start your own car journey experience. Your journey with the “new car” was an adventure as you began finding out things you never knew existed! 


You set off to go on your journey which is 1500 miles away, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the journey will be worth it! A third into your journey you hear a weird sound and you smell  something that wasn’t there before you can’t put your finger on it but you know something isn’t right!


You’re at a strange place with a now strange car and you’re faced with a dilemma!
1. Do you get the car checked out, fixed so you can continue on your journey? Or…..
2. Do you accept it as a loss, abort the journey forfeit your destination and find your way back to where you started? 


Marriage is a journey…


It’s an adventure, quite exciting and exhilarating at the beginning, but then the going will get tough at some point, you begin to see characteristics you never knew existed, you get disappointed, you feel let down, angry  feel like throwing in the towel.  You feel like it’s easier to just get a brand new car, but even those break down at some point too, so what will happen then??


You get to know your car  you get it fixed, you continue with the journey, it will be an experience, your own adventure, embrace it, focus on your destination!! It’ll be worth it.
Marriage is not for quitters, neither is it for the faint hearted!

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Cynthia is a Gym Addict and you can find her on Instagram where she always posts some mouth watering food and you can also find her on Facebook ,where she shares her fitness workouts.

Are you married?  If yes, what are some of the marriage nuggets you have to share?  Feel free to drop your thoughts in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

Saying Goodbye Is Not Always The Answer

Its 7pm, where are you?

Sorry dear, I’m running late.

I thought we agreed you would pick me up for dinner at 6:30 pm, like really, what’s up with that?!!

I’m on my way, I have just been delayed.

You know what, don’t come anymore, I can’t believe you made me wait this whole time; I’m going out with my friends instead!

But I’m nearly there.

No, forget it, actually, fuck this relationship, I’m done, if you can’t even keep time then what’s the point?

Can we just talk about this before you make such a drastic decision?

Silence

Within minutes he shows up, I jump into the car and there is nothing but dead silence until we reach our destination.  I diagnosed myself as suffering from Anger Management Issues (Whatever those are) because the way I would easily get annoyed the heck was completely out of this world.  I don’t know if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that I had a very patient boyfriend back then but because of him I learnt a thing or two about relationships.

The number one problem with me is that I don’t tolerate a lot of things.  Be it poor hygiene, not keeping time, typos and grammatical errors; I know you think this one is absurd but I find it a real turn off if the person I am supposed to be dating bombards me with messages that have typos, I easily lose focus and stop replying their messages.  If you think that’s being melodramatic it’s because you haven’t read my blog post titled Miss Petty.  Unfortunately for me because I have become very set in my ways over the years it has become increasingly difficult to compromise.  I blame staying on my own throughout my 20’s, I just don’t have room for someone else’s bullshit.  Wait, what am I supposed to blogging about again?  I think I am losing the plot, let me get back to the story at hand.

Seeing that we have been delayed we have missed our dinner reservation he decides we go to a laid back place instead and chill and have drinks and a meal.  However, he doesn’t tell me this because he knows for a fact that I am fuming already as it is.

We get to the parking lot and he sighs heavily and starts talking…

I honestly don’t understand why you just won’t give me a chance MaKupsy.  It’s been how many months now but each time I try to do something nice for you I am always greeted by being ignored or you simply tell me to take a hike.  What you don’t realise is that I have fallen in love with you.  I have tried so many ways to get through to your heart with zero luck.  Despite all your flaws I still want to be with you but clearly I am losing the plot somewhere.  Relationships are not meant to be easy and it seems like each time we have a problem you are ready to abandon ship.  It’s not supposed to be like that sweetheart; we are in this together and the only way this can grow into something solid and meaningful is if we communicate and move forward without you always saying hauchandida. (I don’t love you anymore).  Take today for example, when I told you I was running late you were already in defense mode and telling me you were making alternative plans.  Why didn’t you wait for me to show up to find out the reason(s) why I had been delayed and then take it from there instead of automatically assuming that I am taking your time for granted?  Tell you what, today is going to be a great evening and despite how it started off we are going to paint the town red, and no, you don’t have to say anything today, just take your time and digest what I just said.

He gets out of the car and comes to the passenger side of the car and opens the door for me like the gentleman that he is…

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Image from Pinterest

I never got to reply him in person on that day because did we have a great night out or what?!  However, the talk we had before our date made me realise something.  I had real underlying issues that needed to be dealt with.  I figured that the biggest problem was that once upon a time I had given my EVERYTHING to someone who did not reciprocate and it left me spent.  Each time I dated someone; at the back of my head I kept thinking that my current boyfriend was going to do something to hurt me so I always had my suitcase packed and ready to move on before I got my heart entangled in a relationship I assumed would leave me heart broken.  What I didn’t realise was that I was doing myself more harm than good because after all was said and done I was the one missing out on a chance of happiness while holding onto past disappointments.  How sad?  In my head everyone was like my ex boyfriend(s) and I never gave them a real chance.

The universe had other plans though, she sent someone who was patient and understanding.  Even though half the time we dated I threw major temper tantrums he still stood by me and taught me the art of communication and reminded me that there were still a few good men(5 of them and counting) with good intentions out there.

©MaKupsy 2017

8 Wallet Friendly Date Ideas

Apparently dating is for the emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially ready.  Emphasis on financially.  Dating costs money but that doesn’t mean it has to break your bank.  There are different activities you can enjoy with your partner that will leave you both happy and your wallet smiling.  Fancy dress up and expensive dates are lovely but they certainly can’t be an everyday thing, sometimes all you need is to get back to the basics with that special someone in your life.

I have a list of 8 different ideas that I think you should try out.  You know I recommend nothing but exciting things so make sure you try out at least one of them; you can thank me later.

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Image from Pinterest

  1. Picnic.  You can do this from anywhere actually, just let your creative juices flow.   Picnic at the back of a truck, the balcony of your house, at the local park or depending on how daring you are; on the roof top.  I would suggest you try out a sunset picnic which can later turn into a star gazing date.  I am such a romantic, I know!
  2. Movie.  If you stay in Harare then happy days.  You can take advantage of the half price Tuesday deal at the movies and pay for two people for the price of one.  Add the Terrific Tuesday pizza deal and you have both a movie and a meal in one date!  It will cost you give or take USD15 what’s not to love?
  3. Coffee.  It’s winter this part of the world and any date that guarantees to keep you warm is more than welcome.  Cake at my favourite coffee place is USD3 a slice for any cake of your choice and coffee is USD2.  It will give you a chance to enjoy as many cups of coffee as you please because the cake slices are huge and one cup of coffee will not do justice to it.
  4. Cook.  Nothing like a home cooked meal made with tender loving care.  The plus side of cooking together is that you and your partner get to bond and have some intimate time together.  Instead of spending a lot of money eating out you can get your favourite ingredients and prepare your favourite meal plus dessert!

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    Image from Pinterest

  5. Ice cream.  Now this is the best date idea ever because ice cream doesn’t cost much.  You will just have to make sure it’s a sunny day so that you get to enjoy the beautiful weather together with your ice cream and get to take a nice stroll together and hold hands.  When was the last time you did that?
  6. Fun Run. There is always a run of sort taking place.  Just so you know, I host Fitness In The Park events every month and they are FREE.  Exercise will give you a chance to challenge each other and also release those feel good hormones.  Aaaaand, I read somewhere that exercise and great sex are best friends 🙂
  7. Drinks.  Become a mixologist for the night.  Take a trip to the liquor store and get your favourite alcoholic beverages.  Instead of going out on that Friday night stay at home and experiment with different alcohol mixtures.  Make sure you create a music playlist that will have you dance the night away.  The great thing is that if you pass out you will be in the comfort of your home.
  8. Comedy.  I know King Kandoro hosts Comedy Shows every Tuesday for free.  On other occasions his shows go for USD2.  There is no excuse not to go for something that will leave you in stitches.  Comedy is a sure way to look at life from the fun side and if you two are trying to bring some laughter back into your relationship this is a way to forget about the fighting and get some humour into the mix.
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King Kandoro

I hope you try out these ideas and let me know how they work out for you.  By the way, the ideas are open to both men and women. Ladies, surprise your man with one of these dates sometime soon and men, if you have not been taking your girlfriend out perhaps this list might help.

What activities do you get up to in your area that don’t break your budget?  I would love to hear them.

©MaKupsy 2017

The Dating Game

 

Early morning phone call…

Him: Hello, how are you this lovely morning?

Her: I’m great honey how are you you today?

Him: I’m good babes. I was thinking, how about I pick you up around 10am and we do breakfast and catch up?  It has been a really long week and we haven’t spent time together.  We can decide what to do with the rest of the day after breakfast; make sure you wear that dress I like.

Her: That would be a lovely way to start the weekend.  Let me get some more shut eye so that I have enough energy for the rest of the day.  I’m excited already; I hope we are trying out that new place we saw the last time?

Him: Yes we are and make sure you don’t take forever to get ready I know you babes.

Her: I promise I will be early even though we both know that’ impossible.  Will see you soon honey.  Kisses

Him: Bye babes see you soon.

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Shingi & Tonde

Do these things still happen?  If yes, please show me the direction so that I can go as well!  I remember conversations like these when I was in my early 20’s.  I LOVED it, it was more real, more sentimental.  I blame the very first boyfriend I had.  That guy was probably from another planet because he really went all out.  There is no experience he did not take me through.  There was never a dull moment the time we dated, surprises were his middle name.  You know how women just love those.  When I look back I realise that he took his time to know what my interests were and coupled them with his so that we were both happy in the end.  Picnics, dinners, breakfasts, flowers, birthday trips, my first flying experience, road trips, learning how to drive…the list is endless and really making me nostalgic right about now.  If I am honest with myself after dating him the experiences with the people I dated just went downhill from there and everything became so obvious, he killed the magic guys, he killed it!  LOL

When my friends and I have our random chats about men we are always entertained!  We have concluded that there are two types of guys; the ones that will take you kunogocha (going for a braai) and buy you a lot of alcohol and hope you get drunk.  To think all that money could have been used for a more intimate sit in date.

Then the other ones who will take you out for a proper date, make arrangements that actually involve things you also enjoy doing then pick you up and sometimes even buy you a dress for the date!  Yes, those guys are out there and they do exist; you just don’t find them in the yellow pages.  I am not saying “kunogocha” can’t be termed as a date but surely when you are still trying to get to know someone the options are plenty and that one should be the last one on your list.  Are you trying to impress someone or trying to never see them again?

I remember reading somewhere that when a man is into you; you will know it through his actions.  Can we safely conclude that those who don’t make an effort are really not into a woman?

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Another beautiful date idea; go for a photo shoot. 🙂

If you are trying to get attention from a woman by all means let your creative juices flow!  The early days can make or break your dating chances.  You want to be remembered as that guy who did the one thing that no other guy had done for her.  Let the other random no so exciting dates come after you have won her over.  At least you would have shown her that you are capable of keeping things exciting.  Being spontaneous really goes a long way.  I know you are reading this and thinking a relationship involves two people why is the man being the one to do all the work here?  Well, the answer is simple; the man is the hunter, us women are just out here waiting to be hunted.

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Shingi & Tonde

Thank you to Shingi and Tonde for the beautiful pictures.  They are my favourite Twitter couple and when I have free time I stalk them and just smile.  Love is a beautiful thing to watch and they do it so well.  I wish them nothing but love and happiness.

Let’s talk.  What are your thoughts on dating?  What have been your best and worst experiences so far?  Is your man calling you to make a date or it’s whatever happens that day happens.  Guys, how are you spicing up your dating game?

I hope your weekend was great!

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

 

Signs Of A Stingy Guy

I bumped into this YouTube video when I was busy searching for something on the internet this morning.  I want to hear your thoughts on it before I write up my opinion on it by end of day today.  Grab your earphones and listen in.

 

Let me break this down…

  1. There really are guys like that out there.  They will tell you about the latest property they bought, the latest addition to their “fleet of ex Japanese cars” but they will never actually spend money on you to show you just how much they are living it up in life. (insert eye roll here)
  2. I have to agree with the Vlogger here, why is your supposed man waiting on you to ask for things.  Your real man knows your needs in and out and there is really no need for you to be policing him to do them for you.  If he doesn’t want to do them then it’s cool, just don’t nag a brother and do you, but guess what, someone won’t be getting some for a very long time.  We were in disagreement on this opinion with a friend of mine when I shared this video with her.  She said;

    l think we ladies do equate material things and sex then when a guy says can l sleep with you then I buy you lunch or whatever he offers on the table; we always get insulted and say he is crazy is he equating my pussy to lunch? 

We are all entitled to our opinion right?  I won’t argue this one out I have too much to say right now I might end up losing the plot!

3. To be honest, when you meet a woman there are certain standards that she has for herself and if you are only there to ” run her down” then what are you even doing in her life?  Relationships cost money people, I once read somewhere that relationships are for the ready; FINANCIALLY, physically, emotionally, the whole shebang.

4. Ladies, I know a lot of us have had the “I will sort it out tomorrow” guys in our lives.  The tomorrow never comes! I find it pretty annoying actually.  If someone does not want to do something why not simply go ahead and say I don’t want to instead of having someone think you are actually going to do it.  What’s all the more interesting is that when a woman asks for something a man act like he suddenly has a hearing impairment but when it’s time for trying to get laid he is very much alert.  Funny!

5.”Is her father doing the things you do to her?”  That line has to be the one that caught my attention.  I have heard a lot of guys on Twitter say that “I am not her father” line but trust they are doing all sorts of acrobatics to their said girlfriends and when it comes to the crunch they throw in that line.  Shame on you guys!

You know what I think.  At the end of the day even if you go to work, you have your life going; if you have a man in your life it’s just a great feeling to know he will do things for you from the goodness of his heart.  The moment you start asking him to do things for you it kills the fun and dries up a woman’s vagina to be honest.  How do you even get wet for someone who needs to be told that my hair is a mess, does he not have eyes?

Sooooo, are guys supposed to be spending money on their girlfriend(s) or not?  Do you think if he does not spend money when you are still dating he will do the same when you are married to him?

P.S This was by far the most hilarious vlog I have watched on YouTube this week.  I still want to know where people get these Chris Brown type of guys who let you just spend his money and even come back for more once you finish spending it!

©MaKupsy 2016