Day 1: My Blogging Journey

Last year I challenged myself to blog for 30 straight days in September and this year I had no plans of going through that madness on my own.  I think if you consider yourself a blogger then that challenge is something you need to do try out at least once.  This year I went through the challenge options on Google search and nothing on there got me excited.  All the topics were uninspiring and I thought to myself why are bloggers in Africa not coming together to make some noise about our colourful continent?  No offence on the “Share your outfit of the day topics” but gosh they are tiring to say the least!  I’m that one person who no longer wastes time hoping someone else will create something,I now make s*it happen!  I spread the word on different social media platforms and wasted no time bringing African Bloggers in one space to get involved in what the group termed the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge

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Emotional Well-Being

When I started blogging I was still hurting over past relationships.  I was in an a very bad space.  I needed somewhere to bleed out my emotions.  I had no idea putting my thoughts on my blog would actually help me heal.  It was a tough journey but when I wrote about my experiences and I read through comments I realised that I was not alone when it came to some of the things I had been through.  A problem shared really is a problem halved.  When I look through my posts now I realise I have really come a long way and I can safely say I am happy and I let go of all the things that used to steal my joy.  It’s a great space to be in.  Sharing my story and being a part of the blogging world activated my mind to opportunities.  Not only seeing opportunities but acting on them as well.  I am currently a blogger for UnPlugged Zimbabwe and enjoying every moment of it.  What’s not to love about pursuing the things that fire your soul?

Health

The same time I started blogging was the same time I started my health and fitness journey.  There is nothing that puts you under pressure as much as documenting an activity because now you have to actually show some results!  However, it was a great move because if I had not done so I probably would not have lost 10 kgs in a year!  The toughest year of my life if you ask me.  It’s really easy to gain weight, it can happen in a space of days, losing weight on the other hand is a real mission!  I have made new friends through the different challenges I set up each month.  (I have also gone on to create another blog that is specifically for fitness and you should check it out!)  Creating challenges not only helps me stay focused but those around me also get that extra drive to exercise because they can see that I am consistent and actually get results.  Now I have the body I always wanted and I feel fantastic!  I will tell you this for free…maintaining your weight is the hardest part of the journey.  One of the best things that has come from my blogging journey so far is partnering up with Steward Health for both the September Challenge as well as working together on my vision of parkruns in Harare.  It promises to be an exciting journey ahead.

Humour

There have been occasions I have been upset about something and all I want to do is rant about it on a blog post.  The ironic thing is after a few sentences into the post I actually find that I am being petty but continue to write about it all the same.  You see, life doesn’t really have to consume you with negativity.  Fair and fine you will have a bad day or two but there is always something to smile about.  Blogging has helped me through bad days because I have a few blogs that I follow that specialise in humour and there is never a dull moment there!

I have had access to some exciting events and partnered up with some digital savvy brands over the years, that’s definitely the upside of being a blogger.  I have worked with #PPCZimbabwe #ZarkLaunchParty #ZimBiggestBraai #NafunaTV #UnPluggedZim #KidzCan #NaturalsZW #GoldenPilsenerGo4Gold

Blogging has given me the voice I didn’t realise I actually had.  I am MaKupsy.  The Blogger. The Fitness Consultant. The Traveler. The Naturalista. The Social Media Influencer. The Mother.

I would like to hear from bloggers…what was the reason you started and are still blogging?  What are some of the lessons you have learnt over time?

For the readers, what do you enjoy reading the most from my blog and what keeps you coming back for more?

You too can take part in the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge, the more the merrier.

©MaKupsy 2017

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The Answer To Fighting Stress!

I am sorry to announce that my blog title was misleading, but seeing that you already clicked the link let’s get on to reading shall we?  I unfortunately do not have the answer to fighting stress but I can tell you how I manage my own stress or fears.

Health and wellness is not exclusively about your physical being but your mental state is of great importance too.  This is how I attempt to fight stress when it hits me.

  1. I run.  I already have a serious and dedicated running workout plan but when I am stressed out or worried about something I run like there is no tomorrow at a pace that even scares me.  Maybe it’s my body’s way of “running away” from my troubles.
  2. I read a lot of self help articles online.
  3. I fix myself something to eat that is packed with a tonne of calories; most days it works but on some days I end up feeling worse than what I was initially feeling. (Don’t try this idea)
  4. I fix  a seriously strong drink and down it. Unfortunately my alcohol tolerance levels are pathetic lately so two or three glasses later I fall asleep.
  5. I call my closest cousin or text my very close friends on WhatsApp and try to figure out what to do about how I am feeling.
  6. I sleep.
  7. I take time off from work to try and sort out my feelings.
  8. I attempt to cry.  I am messed up like that, I can’t seem to cry for reasons that I still unknown to me.  But making out faces of what I would look like when I am crying helps me in a weird sort of way.
  9. I pray.
  10. I try and keep a positive mindset and remind myself that this too shall come to pass.

There you have it the 10 not-so-effective ways to fighting stress, do attempt them at your own risk!

How do you handle stress when it comes your way?

Fitness Bae®

Desperate Housewives

When everyone was all excited about the television series Desperate Housewives I joined in but only got to watch the first two seasons because I never really had time to sit down and watch it.  A few weeks ago my friend brought me back to the series and gave me the whole 8 seasons of it and I have been hooked ever since.  I am currently watching Season 6 and the first episode left me feeling a lot of different things.  Here’s the thing.

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Image from Google

If you go back to season 5 Mike had moved in with Catherine and they seemed happy.  Well, Catherine mostly did because she hadn’t been in a relationship in a while and was happy to finally have someone in her life.  Mike seemed distant and still in love with his ex wife Susan. (But apparently they had both “moved on”) Catherine obviously didn’t see that Mike wasn’t head over heels for her because she was in a love bubble of her own.  I think it was brave of Catherine to ask Mike if he was ever going to marry her because Mike told her the truth that he didn’t know.  And you know that for most women we choose to not pay attention to what a man says.  He actually told her the truth but we always find a way of hoping somehow he will change his mind because we are just programmed like that I guess.  The other issue I have with Mike is that he will go above and beyond for Susan just to make her happy but clearly won’t do much for Catherine.  I can safely say Catherine gets half baked love from Mike but Susan on the other hand…There are real life cases where you date a guy and he treats you like crap but then dates the next woman and treats her like a queen and you wonder what the fuck is that all about?  So then;the series continues and a whole lot of things happen but this is the part that really got to me when I watched episode one of season 6.

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Mike just went on to marry Susan and left Catherine out in the cold.  Okay fine, maybe Catherine made a not so wise decision by hooking up with someone she knew still had unresolved issues but give her a break, you can’t exactly choose who you fall in love with, or can you?  Why does Susan always get what she wants though?  That again is not fair!  I was really sad on Catherine’s behalf.  How do women end up in situations like this though?  How do we just feel the need to fall for the emotionally unavailable guy?  Do we not see the signs?  And as for Mike, how do you just drop Catherine like a hot potato and get back to your ex wife (Susand) and forget about all the promises you made to Catherine?  Didn’t she at least mean something to you?  Does this mean she doesn’t have feelings too or she should just get over it and move on.  Mind you she stays right across the street and will get to witness everything the pair gets up to.  Man, the world is a cold ass place…

I should clearly stop over analysing things, it’s just a series!!

©MaKupsy 2017

S_P_A_C_E

When you feel overwhelmed with life sometimes all you need is space.  I’m one of those individuals who when faced with a bunch of personal struggles I simply shut down from those around me.  You will find me all active on Twitter, Instagram the works, but you will rarely find me chatting away on WhatsApp.  It is something some people might consider a weakness but for me it is something that I have accepted to be a part of me.  Sometimes all a person needs is some time out to try and figure out what the next move should be to make life more manageable.  Unfortunately most people take this the wrong way and automatically assume that your silence means that they have done something to you.

The thing I find the most annoying though is when you do decide to tell someone that you are going through something and you are not yourself they can’t seem to discern that downloading their personal problems to you at that particular time is not a very grand idea.  Most times when I am in that phase I do not have the capacity to deal with anything else.  Does this make me a bad person?  I wonder…

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My advice to you if you have friends who are anything like me.

Give someone the space they need.  Allow them to gather their thoughts and please rest assured that their silence has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Please do not take it personally.  When someone is good and ready they will reach out but until then continue to live your life, try as best as you can not to be too consumed by why someone is too quiet lately, people are busy with this life , you should be doing the same thing.

P.S. People deal with stress and trauma differently, please keep that in mind.

MaKupsy

The Guy With The Disappearing Acts

Ladies. Do yourself a favour and stay away from guys who aren’t sure how they feel about you.  MaKupsy Feb 2015

There is never a dull moment in my life.  You already know this if you follow my blog.  Many moons ago there was a guy who my friend decided to “hook me up with”.  I am not a fan of “hook ups” but since my friend spoke so highly of him I was like why not get to meet him and see what he is all about.  We got to meet after chatting for a while over WhatsApp.  It was a brief meeting which probably lasted a minute, we were in the same area at the time so we just said hello.  I didn’t hear from him for a while after that.  I really wasn’t concerned but my friend on the other hand, she was all up with questions.

At some point we got back in touch again.  I think it was actually after months.  The good thing is we had flawless conversation so we just picked up where we left of.  That time we probably kept in touch for a month, or was it two, to be honest I really wasn’t counting but after some time he disappeared again.

That’s when I told my friend that her hook up was a joke.  Who blows hot and cold without specific reason(s)?  Like you are just left there to wonder what’s going on?  I told her that her “dating service” had really gone wrong and I actually didn’t want to talk to this guy anymore.  My friend was his biggest cheerleader and she kept giving me imaginary excuses as to why he wasn’t keeping constant communication with me.  The only good thing about this whole thing was that I actually hadn’t grown any real feelings for him so whether he appeared or disappeared did not make much of a difference to me.

Then he came back YET AGAIN, gosh the way that just drains your freaking energy.  This time he had flowery words and “acts of kindness” to go with it.  The guy was taking me to work, picking me up, spending time with me, doing errands together, going out and even having conversations over the phone till I fell asleep with my phone in my hands.  Then like clockwork he disappeared into thin air.

Let’s get to the juicy bit of this story.  This guy then came back again with a story about:

  1. How he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship
  2. How he was scared to be in a committed relationship
  3. How he had never had a relationship with a Twimbo (Zimbabwean on Twitter)
  4. How I was a great person but he just couldn’t be in a relationship with me
  5. How he had fallen in love with me

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Biggest joke ever!  Who has so many conflicting statements in one go?  I just sat there and listened and just said to myself I am too old for this shit!  To make things even more annoying was the fact that I actually didn’t have a romantic connection with this guy and here he was selling me a bullshit story.  What we had was a good friendship and nothing more.  He clearly had a whole lot of issues to deal with and I was not sticking around to witness them because I need me some peace of mind.

I know you are reading this and asking yourself why I kept entertaining him after he got back from wherever he would have disappeared to but you know how some women just love attention, yes, I was in it for the attention I got. 

Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad person but I just think he was hoping at some point he would get laid and so each time he came with a different story to try and convince me that he was into me.  Yes, I said it!  I believe that a guy always knows what he wants from the get go and he will make his intentions clear.  If he is acting all kinds of shady then he clearly has a motive which probably won’t end well.

To the ladies I say to you; if you ever find yourself in this situation run away as fast as you can.  That guy will leave you confused for days and you don’t need that kind of individual in your life.  Be with a guy who knows what he wants, period!

In Alfie’s famous words: “You don’t get to reserve people for later because you are not ready; that’s not how this love thing works hatisi mufushwa!” (we are not dried vegetables!!)

MaKupsy

 

 

I Can’t Sleep!

This will be my second week of unhappiness in the sleep department.  I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep and it is starting to affect me in a very bad way.  Last night I went to bed at 7pm thanks to an excruciating headache that felt like it was going to pop my eyes right out!  I later woke up around 11pm and couldn’t sleep properly and ended up killing time on TwitterYou would think all the running and exercising I do would at least make me tired enough to pass out like it used to but no, even the evening run I did last night didn’t help matters.

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The thing is I am going through something.  I am feeling things that are feeding on my feel good hormones but unfortunately right now I can’t talk about it.  The only thing I can do is find a way to deal with it.  Some days I really wish we had shrinks in this country. (Maybe we do and I’m not aware of them?)  You would just call them up, make an appointment and just let out all your thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged or ridiculed.

I miss waking up with extra energy and enthusiasm.  I actually miss just going to bed and actually getting to sleep through the night.

I am feeling so unhappy.

MaKupsy

 

 

 

Friends, Lovers & Exes

Friendship is the best thing that can ever happen to you if you surround yourself with the right people.  I have friends that have been in my life for as long at 15 years.  I can safely say once I decide that someone is my friend then we are pretty much friends for life; ups and downs and the whole experience that comes with it.  Most of my long term friendships are with women and then I have the one male friend who I have been calling my husband (I still don’t remember how this came about) for as long as I can remember even though he technically isn’t my husband.  I have known him for close to 9 years now and we are still as close as ever.  We can blog all about him another day because today is not about that.

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photo credit : http://www.flickr.com

I remember once dating a guy who did not like my friend AT ALL.  He actually told me point blank that he didn’t like her and that he wouldn’t entertain us hanging out together.  Now that was just a tough call especially given that we had been in each others lives forever.  Of course I didn’t listen to his crazy talk, who chooses between a best friend and her man?  You keep them both!  The whole time he was stressing me about my best friend he was still in touch with his ex girlfriend.

Now this issue right there will bring nothing but sleepless nights and headaches.  I know a lot of women have been through this ex girlfriend phase.  I remember a time I actually wanted to pick up the phone and call her and tell her to stop talking to my man and call her all sorts of names!!  Then I thought wait, why should I be calling her?

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Photo Credit: @BabyGrace (Twitter) check out her site on : http://www.moregraca.wordpress.com

The fact that she is in touch with him means that he has given her the go ahead to do so; so what difference will my call make?  Plus, he was dating me so technically I won the man right so why bother with her?  These relationships can really feel like a competition sometimes…Anyways, I realised there and then that us women are quick to trash talk an ex girlfriend to make ourselves feel better instead of actually talking to the person you are in a relationship with.

I get it, people have had relations with other people in the past.  I still have mixed feelings about my partner staying in touch with an old flame for reasons such as:

  • what if they get back together?
  • what if I am just a rebound?
  • what if their sex game was so strong they hook up again and we never have sex again or worst case scenario she gets pregnant or I get some disease in that messed up triangle?
  • what if he realises he loves her more than me?

To be honest, I think staying in touch with your ex especially when you are in a relationship is a sure recipe for disaster.  DO NOT DO IT.  Let sleeping dogs lie…  It’s things like that that bring insecurity in a relationship.  You want to be with someone who shows you that you mean the world to them and no one else matters.  Just stick to mutual friends and if you happen to have friends of the opposite sex then by all means let them meet and get to know each other so that there is transparency in your relationship.

Your thoughts on this issue?  Are you in touch with an ex, do you think your communication will rekindle an old flame?

MaKupsy

My (Ex) Maid Has Got Some Freaking Nerve!!!

Asi cei musinga dzwisie ndakambo zviita here asi ipo ndinouya munondipawo 600 dolloras.

Let me translate this for my non Shona and short hand from who knows where readers.  That message reads:

But why do you not understand, has this happened before?  Do you give me $600 when I come?

First of all, I HATE DOING HOUSEWORK, especially the laundry bit.  It’s not that I can’t do it, I can, very much so but why should I when someone else can do it for me?  I vowed that 2015 going forward I would not involve myself in any house chores especially laundry and ironing.  In the past I have had this maid come every other month but this year she was coming twice a month at most since the beginning of the year.  I have known her for two years now and we had a perfect thing going on because her cleaning skills are exceptional.  So where lies the problem you might ask?

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Let me break it down…

Last week I asked her to come through to clean up my apartment and do the laundry and ironing.  She charges between $10  to $15 or more depending on how much laundry there needs to be done.  We agreed on a figure and she came through.  Unfortunately we had experienced a power fault the previous night so there was no electricity for her to do the ironing.  Before I left I had informed her that in case the electricity issue didn’t get sorted out we would have to make plan B and she suggested that she would show up on Sunday morning to get the ironing done.  Fair enough, I paid her before leaving the house (BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!)  I got home to a clean house as always, laundry nicely done but because there was obviously no electricity the ironing wasn’t done.  Come Sunday morning I sent her a message asking her what time she would show up to which she instantly replied telling me her mother was unwell.  Okay, these things happen, I told her it was okay and wished her mother a speedy recovery.  She suggested she would come the following day and guess what…she did a no show on me.  Me being me, I called to ask why she didn’t show up and she told me she wasn’t feeling well.  (This is when I realised I had been played).   It was only yesterday after I had been patient that I finally decided to call her and ask what was going on and she insisted she wasn’t feeling okay.

NEWSFLASH!! This same “I’m not feeling well maid” called my friend (who I referred her to) to tell her that she would be coming to work on Saturday.  Like the freaking nerve!!  That’s what really annoyed the fuck out of me.  Like really, I have been calling and texting this woman and she has the nerve to lie to me and this is after I have paid her for a complete job.  Man I was livid yesterday!! I was seeing red!  WHO DOES THAT??  I sent her a message telling her that I felt betrayed and for someone I had trusted for over two years she really did a number on me and that’s when her message with all it’s typos and ridiculousness came in.

This maid has some nerve I kid you not!  After all the little favours I have done for her and the people I have referred to her for work this is the thanks she gives me?  The number of times in the past she has texted me to ask if I needed her to come through and I have agreed just so that she can make an extra buck?   And now she tells me it’s not as if I give her $600??  She’s got jokes I tell you!!

Most maids are the same if you ask me.  They are full of shit.  They don’t want you being nice and understanding because they will just take your niceness for weakness.  I think I should start taking classes from my oldest sister.  She has no mercy when it comes to her house help.  She will tell them only one meal all day and give them a whole set of rules.  They always stay longer and don’t give her any headaches.  And here I am with my “You can fix yourself breakfast and make Sadza and whatever tickles your fancy for lunch” and I get fucked in the ass!  Totally disappointed in her and totally pissed off too!!

You would think I don’t already have any other things to worry about now I have to make a plan to get someone to come and do my ironing tomorrow!

Lessons learnt:

  1. Do not pay her the full amount until she has finished doing the work.
  2. Do not treat her like your friend.
  3. Do not use the same maid for too long, she will walk all over you!
  4. I am clearly too nice I should up my game and just play strict.

MaKupsy

 

My Bedroom Is A Mess!

You should see the state of affairs in my bedroom, you would think some crazy woman lives there.  Everything is everywhere!  I am one of the neatest and tidiest people I know ( if I do say so myself) but lately I just wouldn’t give a damn!  Yesterday I had told myself self, self; make sure you clean up and make this the little haven it always is but self would not cooperate.  So I spent the rest of my afternoon lying in bed, chatting on WhatsApp for the most part of the day, watching this series titled Undateable which I have decided to rate 5/10 because some it’s funny, but not so funny.

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photo credit : http://haminikan.co

I had forgotten I had last had my last meal in the morning so around 4 pm I decided to get up and get some cooking done.  I hate cooking for myself by the way, such a mammoth task!  Then dishes need to be done afterwards, the inconvenience…maybe I should just invest in some paper plates and paper cups?   So ever since I discovered that you can add mayonnaise to your macaroni my life has been heaven on earth!  The main reason being I don’t particularly like macaroni but the mayonnaise is making it more palatable for me.

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Macaroni mixed with mayonnaise, beef stew  & mixed greens ( I HATE BEEF by the way, but it was the quickest cooking option at the moment)

My personal space usually reflects what’s going on with me emotionally.  So my room being such a big mess just means I am an emotional wreck at the moment.  I have so many things going on with me I can’t even begin to list them.  You know what the biggest problem is though?  When I am going through this phase no amount of texting about it will help.  I NEED to talk to someone, face to face, someone who will understand all the different emotions I am going through.  Someone who will give me a big hug and tell me everything is going to be okay.   Who spends a whole day doing nothing and even forgetting to eat?  And the worst part, last night I didn’t even sleep one wink, I kept tossing and turning in bed.  I am actually starting to worry that I might actually be feeling depressed.

I am tired of having to hear the “It’s going to be okay, Worse things have happened to people, It’s just a phase, Be strong.”  I can’t!  I am unhappy and I have tried everything under the sun to stay happy but I just can’t seem to find peace and guess what, the upcoming holiday season is just going to make me feel worse by the minute.  I know everyone has problems but fuck it I need to fix how I am feeling right now!

MaKupsy