Day 1: My Blogging Journey

Last year I challenged myself to blog for 30 straight days in September and this year I had no plans of going through that madness on my own.  I think if you consider yourself a blogger then that challenge is something you need to do try out at least once.  This year I went through the challenge options on Google search and nothing on there got me excited.  All the topics were uninspiring and I thought to myself why are bloggers in Africa not coming together to make some noise about our colourful continent?  No offence on the “Share your outfit of the day topics” but gosh they are tiring to say the least!  I’m that one person who no longer wastes time hoping someone else will create something,I now make s*it happen!  I spread the word on different social media platforms and wasted no time bringing African Bloggers in one space to get involved in what the group termed the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge

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Emotional Well-Being

When I started blogging I was still hurting over past relationships.  I was in an a very bad space.  I needed somewhere to bleed out my emotions.  I had no idea putting my thoughts on my blog would actually help me heal.  It was a tough journey but when I wrote about my experiences and I read through comments I realised that I was not alone when it came to some of the things I had been through.  A problem shared really is a problem halved.  When I look through my posts now I realise I have really come a long way and I can safely say I am happy and I let go of all the things that used to steal my joy.  It’s a great space to be in.  Sharing my story and being a part of the blogging world activated my mind to opportunities.  Not only seeing opportunities but acting on them as well.  I am currently a blogger for UnPlugged Zimbabwe and enjoying every moment of it.  What’s not to love about pursuing the things that fire your soul?

Health

The same time I started blogging was the same time I started my health and fitness journey.  There is nothing that puts you under pressure as much as documenting an activity because now you have to actually show some results!  However, it was a great move because if I had not done so I probably would not have lost 10 kgs in a year!  The toughest year of my life if you ask me.  It’s really easy to gain weight, it can happen in a space of days, losing weight on the other hand is a real mission!  I have made new friends through the different challenges I set up each month.  (I have also gone on to create another blog that is specifically for fitness and you should check it out!)  Creating challenges not only helps me stay focused but those around me also get that extra drive to exercise because they can see that I am consistent and actually get results.  Now I have the body I always wanted and I feel fantastic!  I will tell you this for free…maintaining your weight is the hardest part of the journey.  One of the best things that has come from my blogging journey so far is partnering up with Steward Health for both the September Challenge as well as working together on my vision of parkruns in Harare.  It promises to be an exciting journey ahead.

Humour

There have been occasions I have been upset about something and all I want to do is rant about it on a blog post.  The ironic thing is after a few sentences into the post I actually find that I am being petty but continue to write about it all the same.  You see, life doesn’t really have to consume you with negativity.  Fair and fine you will have a bad day or two but there is always something to smile about.  Blogging has helped me through bad days because I have a few blogs that I follow that specialise in humour and there is never a dull moment there!

I have had access to some exciting events and partnered up with some digital savvy brands over the years, that’s definitely the upside of being a blogger.  I have worked with #PPCZimbabwe #ZarkLaunchParty #ZimBiggestBraai #NafunaTV #UnPluggedZim #KidzCan #NaturalsZW #GoldenPilsenerGo4Gold

Blogging has given me the voice I didn’t realise I actually had.  I am MaKupsy.  The Blogger. The Fitness Consultant. The Traveler. The Naturalista. The Social Media Influencer. The Mother.

I would like to hear from bloggers…what was the reason you started and are still blogging?  What are some of the lessons you have learnt over time?

For the readers, what do you enjoy reading the most from my blog and what keeps you coming back for more?

You too can take part in the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge, the more the merrier.

©MaKupsy 2017

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S_P_A_C_E

When you feel overwhelmed with life sometimes all you need is space.  I’m one of those individuals who when faced with a bunch of personal struggles I simply shut down from those around me.  You will find me all active on Twitter, Instagram the works, but you will rarely find me chatting away on WhatsApp.  It is something some people might consider a weakness but for me it is something that I have accepted to be a part of me.  Sometimes all a person needs is some time out to try and figure out what the next move should be to make life more manageable.  Unfortunately most people take this the wrong way and automatically assume that your silence means that they have done something to you.

The thing I find the most annoying though is when you do decide to tell someone that you are going through something and you are not yourself they can’t seem to discern that downloading their personal problems to you at that particular time is not a very grand idea.  Most times when I am in that phase I do not have the capacity to deal with anything else.  Does this make me a bad person?  I wonder…

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My advice to you if you have friends who are anything like me.

Give someone the space they need.  Allow them to gather their thoughts and please rest assured that their silence has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Please do not take it personally.  When someone is good and ready they will reach out but until then continue to live your life, try as best as you can not to be too consumed by why someone is too quiet lately, people are busy with this life , you should be doing the same thing.

P.S. People deal with stress and trauma differently, please keep that in mind.

MaKupsy

The Guy With The Disappearing Acts

Ladies. Do yourself a favour and stay away from guys who aren’t sure how they feel about you.  MaKupsy Feb 2015

There is never a dull moment in my life.  You already know this if you follow my blog.  Many moons ago there was a guy who my friend decided to “hook me up with”.  I am not a fan of “hook ups” but since my friend spoke so highly of him I was like why not get to meet him and see what he is all about.  We got to meet after chatting for a while over WhatsApp.  It was a brief meeting which probably lasted a minute, we were in the same area at the time so we just said hello.  I didn’t hear from him for a while after that.  I really wasn’t concerned but my friend on the other hand, she was all up with questions.

At some point we got back in touch again.  I think it was actually after months.  The good thing is we had flawless conversation so we just picked up where we left of.  That time we probably kept in touch for a month, or was it two, to be honest I really wasn’t counting but after some time he disappeared again.

That’s when I told my friend that her hook up was a joke.  Who blows hot and cold without specific reason(s)?  Like you are just left there to wonder what’s going on?  I told her that her “dating service” had really gone wrong and I actually didn’t want to talk to this guy anymore.  My friend was his biggest cheerleader and she kept giving me imaginary excuses as to why he wasn’t keeping constant communication with me.  The only good thing about this whole thing was that I actually hadn’t grown any real feelings for him so whether he appeared or disappeared did not make much of a difference to me.

Then he came back YET AGAIN, gosh the way that just drains your freaking energy.  This time he had flowery words and “acts of kindness” to go with it.  The guy was taking me to work, picking me up, spending time with me, doing errands together, going out and even having conversations over the phone till I fell asleep with my phone in my hands.  Then like clockwork he disappeared into thin air.

Let’s get to the juicy bit of this story.  This guy then came back again with a story about:

  1. How he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship
  2. How he was scared to be in a committed relationship
  3. How he had never had a relationship with a Twimbo (Zimbabwean on Twitter)
  4. How I was a great person but he just couldn’t be in a relationship with me
  5. How he had fallen in love with me

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Biggest joke ever!  Who has so many conflicting statements in one go?  I just sat there and listened and just said to myself I am too old for this shit!  To make things even more annoying was the fact that I actually didn’t have a romantic connection with this guy and here he was selling me a bullshit story.  What we had was a good friendship and nothing more.  He clearly had a whole lot of issues to deal with and I was not sticking around to witness them because I need me some peace of mind.

I know you are reading this and asking yourself why I kept entertaining him after he got back from wherever he would have disappeared to but you know how some women just love attention, yes, I was in it for the attention I got. 

Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad person but I just think he was hoping at some point he would get laid and so each time he came with a different story to try and convince me that he was into me.  Yes, I said it!  I believe that a guy always knows what he wants from the get go and he will make his intentions clear.  If he is acting all kinds of shady then he clearly has a motive which probably won’t end well.

To the ladies I say to you; if you ever find yourself in this situation run away as fast as you can.  That guy will leave you confused for days and you don’t need that kind of individual in your life.  Be with a guy who knows what he wants, period!

In Alfie’s famous words: “You don’t get to reserve people for later because you are not ready; that’s not how this love thing works hatisi mufushwa!” (we are not dried vegetables!!)

MaKupsy

 

 

Friends, Lovers & Exes

Friendship is the best thing that can ever happen to you if you surround yourself with the right people.  I have friends that have been in my life for as long at 15 years.  I can safely say once I decide that someone is my friend then we are pretty much friends for life; ups and downs and the whole experience that comes with it.  Most of my long term friendships are with women and then I have the one male friend who I have been calling my husband (I still don’t remember how this came about) for as long as I can remember even though he technically isn’t my husband.  I have known him for close to 9 years now and we are still as close as ever.  We can blog all about him another day because today is not about that.

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photo credit : http://www.flickr.com

I remember once dating a guy who did not like my friend AT ALL.  He actually told me point blank that he didn’t like her and that he wouldn’t entertain us hanging out together.  Now that was just a tough call especially given that we had been in each others lives forever.  Of course I didn’t listen to his crazy talk, who chooses between a best friend and her man?  You keep them both!  The whole time he was stressing me about my best friend he was still in touch with his ex girlfriend.

Now this issue right there will bring nothing but sleepless nights and headaches.  I know a lot of women have been through this ex girlfriend phase.  I remember a time I actually wanted to pick up the phone and call her and tell her to stop talking to my man and call her all sorts of names!!  Then I thought wait, why should I be calling her?

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Photo Credit: @BabyGrace (Twitter) check out her site on : http://www.moregraca.wordpress.com

The fact that she is in touch with him means that he has given her the go ahead to do so; so what difference will my call make?  Plus, he was dating me so technically I won the man right so why bother with her?  These relationships can really feel like a competition sometimes…Anyways, I realised there and then that us women are quick to trash talk an ex girlfriend to make ourselves feel better instead of actually talking to the person you are in a relationship with.

I get it, people have had relations with other people in the past.  I still have mixed feelings about my partner staying in touch with an old flame for reasons such as:

  • what if they get back together?
  • what if I am just a rebound?
  • what if their sex game was so strong they hook up again and we never have sex again or worst case scenario she gets pregnant or I get some disease in that messed up triangle?
  • what if he realises he loves her more than me?

To be honest, I think staying in touch with your ex especially when you are in a relationship is a sure recipe for disaster.  DO NOT DO IT.  Let sleeping dogs lie…  It’s things like that that bring insecurity in a relationship.  You want to be with someone who shows you that you mean the world to them and no one else matters.  Just stick to mutual friends and if you happen to have friends of the opposite sex then by all means let them meet and get to know each other so that there is transparency in your relationship.

Your thoughts on this issue?  Are you in touch with an ex, do you think your communication will rekindle an old flame?

MaKupsy