I Love You, And It’s Killing Me

You are everything they said I should not find in a woman. But I am everything they want to see in a man because of you. Child rebel monster, it seems like all my life I have been preparing myself to love you. While at the same time taking just enough to paint you with a slightly begrimed color of love. Yet you low key have been seeing me from a boy to a man.

You are older they said. By quite a lot and this bit is nothing but true. It bothered me at first but not you. “What’s the worst that could happen if we gave it a shot?” you asked. We have a shelf life we agreed, and it was to be fun and games until we both fell hard. And I fell even harder. Into an abyss of love, I fell, mind my corny nature on this but trust me it would have been worse had I settled on penning an ode to unexpected love. My deadbeat uncle is quick to gossip about you like that other lady from church I told you about. Surely I cannot take the advice of one who fails to feed his own son. If he had a woman like you he probably would not be the filth that he is. I am not letting go of you because I do not want to become what he is.

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Image from Pinterest

I hate everything to do with your past life. Simply because you are flawless and it is hard to get over the fact that I am the beast in this relationship. You are the beauty in it. But a scar from your past makes many doubt your ability to love and care. But I know you better than many, your forgiving nature is apparent; like that wart under your nose. You once told me you married a man you had no business marrying, and I feel the pain because I cannot be to your kids what he is to them. Something is wrong with her they say, she couldn’t hold her marriage together. Like that makes it reason enough to stop loving you. But I know something is wrongwith all of us who fall in love with you, because a countless number of times we hurt you but you still rise from the ashes a bigger man. Cursing us but loving us still. Scars.

You need your own is what many say to me. There is no pride in the seed that grew from “your” field I am advised. But I grew up under the tutelage of a single mother, who withheld her craving for attention and I watched her suffer in silence as she supposedly did what was best for both her love interests and me. Your kids are a beautiful part of you that makes me love you even more. But to some around me they are a weapon to dislodge me from you. I hate to love when your kids call me dad. Because it reminds me of that other person, but also accentuates your regard of my importance in your existence.

She comes from those other people. The filthy people, like we are any cleaner. My family’s hate for Shona people is beyond me. Given that our ancestry points out that we are one half Shona ourselves. Selfish much are those close to me. Wanting what is right for themselves so much so not to realize that their wishes could cost me you. And you happen to be what is good for me. Moreover, you are what is good for them. I wish they knew how many of the meals they have enjoyed were funded by your kindness. If they found out how much you do for them, will they then spew their guts out because they have been fed by the enemy?

love hurts MaKupsy

Image from Pinterest

 

My best friend called you crazy. He felt that your confession of undying love was an indicator of your schizophrenic nature and I had no business dealing with a crazy lady. But he never thought I would go on to cry come back baby. So damaged I am I could not stand being loved truly and honestly. I shared with him the messages I had no business showing to another soul. And compromised our fortress of trust. I allowed a Trojan horse into our troy of love. And gave one person the power to look into your eyes smiling while in his heart taking you for a fool.

No man is an island. But I would love to be trapped in an island with you. I am difficult to love. But you have made it an easy job because that is how amazing you are. I appreciate women better because of you, and respect beyond what society dictates. I have been told I deserve better. I have been convinced I am worth more. None of these have ever considered I am what I what I am because you have helped elevate me. You are all they said I should not find, but none of them told me I would find love in you.

This piece was penned down by a writer who wishes to remain anonymous.

Have you experienced a love like this before?  If yes, in as much as you were told that someone wasn’t good for you what lengths did you take to stay together?  If no, how far are you willing to go for love?

©MaKupsy 2018

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Greek Chicken

I’ve tasted Greek food before and I fell in love with the flavours they incorporate in their food. The dill, the red onion, the cucumber, olives…actually if the meal has the word Greek in it I’m in!  This was my first time preparing a Greek meal and I’m quite impressed with the way it turned out, it tasted delicious too if I do say so myself.

If you have a hectic schedule like I do then you probably don’t have time to cook.  I would suggest you go the meal prep route because to be honest cooking for yourself everyday can be a tad bit cumbersome.

This recipe does NOT have to be just a meal prep. It also serves as a delicious family dinner option. Start on the brown rice to speed up the process.

Prep Time: 20 min

Cook Time: 10 min

Total Time: 30 min

Ingredients:

Greek Chicken

  • 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 3 tbs garlic, minced (adjustable to preference)
  • 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tbs red wine vinegar (optional)
  • 1 tbs dried oregano
  • 1/3 cup plain Greek yoghurt
  • Salt & pepper, to taste

Cucumber Salad

  • 2 English Cucumbers, peeled and sliced
  • 1/3 cup lemon juice
  • 2 tbs olive oil
  • 1 tbs red wine vinegar (optional)
  • 1/2 tbs minced garlic
  • 1/2 tsp dried oregano

Tzatziki Sauce

  • 1 cup plain Greek yoghurt
  • 1 English cucumber, finely diced
  • 1 tbs minced garlic
  • 1/2 tbd dill weed, or 1 tbs fresh dill, chopped fine
  • 1 1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp lemon zest
  • 1/2 tsp chopped fresh mint (optional)
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste

The Rest

  • 3 cups cooked brown rice
  • 375g cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 cup red onions

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Fitness Bae Greek Chicken (2).JPG

Directions:

  1. In a large plastic zip bag, combine olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar, oregano, Greek yoghurt and salt & pepper. Massage to mix.
  2. Add chicken into the bag. Massage to make sure chicken is fully covered and marinate for at least 20 minutes, up to 12 hours.
  3. Drain the chicken from the marinade, discarding the marinade.
  4. In a skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat then add chicken when it is hot, cook, flipping part way through. Cook approximately 3-4 minutes per side. The cooking time depends on the thickness and size of the chicken.
  5. Remove from the pan and let cool. DO NOT cut it when it’s still hot. Let it rest to keep the juices inside to maintain the moistness of the chicken breast. Once cool cut into bite size pieces.
  6. Cucumber Salad. Make the salad by chunking the cucumbers, and tossing in a bowl with lemon juice, olive oil, red wine vinegar, garlic and oregano. Set aside and chill.
  7. Tzatziki Sauce. Make the sauce by combining the Greek Yoghurt, cucumber, garlic, dill weed, lemon juice, lemon zest in a small bowl. Add mint (optional), mix well and refrigerate.
  8. Cook brown rice according to package directions then serve.
  9. If you keep it for 3-5 days, keep it in an air tight container and serve cold!!

Fitness Bae Greek Chicken (3)

Go on and try something new, try some tantalizing Greek Chicken!

The recipe was provided by a fellow fitness enthusiastic and blogger, Thamsanqa.  You can find him on:

Twitter: @tcmawerera

WordPress: www.thehappykitchenzw.wordpress.com

The weekend is coming up, you have all the time in the world to try this recipe out.

Fitness Bae®

 

The Cook Out ZW

The CookOut ZW is a picnic style, family friendly event that celebrates the Zimbabwean summer with special focus on great food and great music.  The first CookOut ZW event was held last month and I still have no idea how that missed me but fear not I’m here with the hook up.

This shindig is basically a cool, intimate Sunday chill out event with lots of fun for kids as well! The CookOut ZW will feature succulent meat braaied to perfection by braai masters and the only thing cooler than the music will be the drinks.

A variety of food including but not limited to juicy loin chops, tender flame grilled chicken pieces, hot off the grill burgers, fresh, colourful, crisp salads and soft drinks, coolers, cold beers will be readily available so fear not, you will NOT go thirsty or hungry.  Payment options include cash, swipe and Ecocash.

Take it from me, this Sunday The CookOutZW is something you have to check out; I’ll be there you already know I like all things entertaining.  Music features include melodious fusions by Bryan K plus Afro-Pop and Soul by Vera.

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For more information log onto The CookOut ZW Facebook Page on @theCookOutZW

Prayersoul is giving away 3 CDs of his album, While I Was Away.  To stand a chance to win name any 4 songs by PrayerSoul, add them in the comments section of this post, take a screen shot and add to my pinned Twitter or Facebook Page.

Please note that if you win you can only collect your CD from The CookOut ZW event on Sunday from Prayersoul himself.

Bring yourself, your friend, your siblings, your children, your significant other to The CookOut ZW.

It’s important that you call the number on the poster and tell the host that you will be attending the event.  RSVP for The CookOutZW please!

©MaKupsy 2017

Day 27: The Joys of Singledom

After asking a few people they told me they have never been single in their life, like ever.  They have jumped from one relationship to the next and never had the chance to just be on their own.  I know one friend who told me she would never cope being single because she is so used to having a man on her arm showering her with love and attention.  The reasons she told me about always being in a relationship will obviously be a topic for a different day because that will just spoil the mood I am trying to set in this post.  So what is being single?  Google will have you know that they define single as not married or not having a serious romantic relationship with someone.

I’m a mother and dating can be one heck of a tricky scenario because it’s no longer about what I want anymore.  I make decisions on who I will date depending on whether they will be good for my daughter or not.  I’m still working on that formula but trust me my intuition is never wrong when it comes to deciding on who to and who not to introduce to her.  Whoever I choose to be with has to be someone I can count on and be supportive especially emotionally supportive when I’m going through the most.  A bonus is someone who can develop a relationship with my daughter naturally.  When I feel confident that this is someone who will be around for a long time then I can gladly introduce them to her.  That said…

happy

photo credit from my Twitter tweind @monakadurira

I initially wanted to look at both the good and the bad things about being single.  But I decided not to because I am in a happy place and want to keep everything around me filled with positivism.  That said let me jump right into the joys of singledom and then later on add a few people’s views on their single status.

So; about that single life.  You do not have to answer to no one and that means you can do as you please, no questions asked.  (doing who you please is also very much an option)  You have this thing called “me time” that comes in abundance.  For someone who likes her space like me it’s the best thing about being single.  The other thing that just brings a huge smile on my face is that when you are single you are not busy worrying about what your partner is up to, with who, why, where and how.  That can be really taxing on your emotions given the rate at which most people don’t seem to be taking their relationships seriously these days and cheating has become a way of life for some.  You can sleep on your own in your own bed in any way you like, you can sleep like a starfish, upside down, back to front, inside out (does that even exist?) Whatever the case you have all that sleeping space to yourself and no snoring or farting partner to deal with!

The trip to New Start Centre is a breeze when you are single and have not been sexually active.  You can go there with your head up knowing you have been good to yourself and your body.  Have you been to New Start Centre when you have been busy sexing your boyfriend without protection and then found out he has been cheating??  That’s round about the time you wish you had stayed single and celibate and wish you could just cut out your vagina and throw it straight into the sea because it is clearly giving you unnecessary stress!

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Image from Google

Anywho, let’s see, what else is great about being single…oh yes, you get to treat yourself right and that can also be a yardstick for the way you would want your partner to treat you when you get into a relationship.  You learn the art of dating yourself.  You can try out going for dinner, a movie, coffee, stand up comedy, anything that tickles your fancy because there is no way you should miss out on the fun side of life just because you do not have anyone to share it with.

Some of my single blog readers had a few tips to share on what they love about being single, here goes:

Blog Reader 1
  • You can be alone and learn to love it, live with it, use that “alone time” to love yourself and nurture yourself! You deserve it!
  • Being single is the perfect time to amend your relationship with God, draw closer to God as well as to give all your petitions to Him.
  • I love having to make decisions without having to consider if someone else will be okay with it.
  • Less stress if you have had to deal with a cheating partner and their shenanigans in the past.  Being single means you have peace of mind.
Blog Reader 2
  • You get to spend all your money alone.
  • You have the freedom to have sex with any woman guiltlessly.
  • You don’t have curfews.
  • You have more money to spend on beer.

(I’m sure you can tell this blog reader is a guy!)

Blog Reader 3
  • You concentrate on whatever it is that makes you happy.
  • Being single means no unnecessary insecurities.
  • I’m at less risk of sexual immorality because I’m single.
  • I want to empower myself before anything else so right now I can fully concentrate on my goals without the distraction of a significant other.

So to everyone who says being single sucks, I guess you have been looking at it the wrong way.  If you are single there is hope for you to enjoy the season if you stop whining and take a step back to look at all the good things that come from flying solo…

You can also check out some dating blog posts from the following:

Dating While Parenting  by The Quarter Wife

Let’s talk about your dating journey, are you single or ready to mingle?

©MaKupsy 2017

Day 24: I Came, I Saw, I Captured

“For my birthday I want a photo-shoot, a piano and a baby sister.”

Talk about a little person who know’s exactly what she wants!  That was my daughter Miss Kupsy telling me her birthday requests a few weeks ago.  I just smiled and thought this child is from another planet.  Where in the world will I get a baby sister from at such short notice?  I reminded her that she had a brother but she quickly pointed out that she wanted a sister NOT a brother.

I make sure each of her birthdays are memorable and this time around her photo-shoot wish came true.  The photographer was convinced she had gone for a photo-shoot before but I confirmed that it was definitely her first time.  We had a lot of fun.  It ended up being a mother-daughter shoot but the highlight was on her.  She got over 100 photos taken!

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Miss Kupsy 🙂

Who: Timeless Photos

What: Focusing on weddings, commercial projects, corporate events and studio photography.

Where: 66 Nelson Mandela Ave, 1st Floor, Strachans Building, Harare

Price: $15 for 15 minutes, $25 for 30 minutes and $50 for one hour (studio photographs) where you only get soft copies transferred to your memory stick.  For more information on their price guides feel free to get in touch with them on their Facebook Page.

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Miss Kupsy’s 6th Birthday

I chose the package for 15 minutes which also comes with two printed copies.  Timeless Photos provides pretty temporary picture frames and they have more durable ones they sell for $5.  The whole experience cost us $30 and I left a happy woman because I still had more birthday treats lined up for Miss Kupsy.  A friend of mine sent her money to buy her a toy piano.  Being a child is certainly the best time of your life!  No one sends me money on my birthday.  I’m still to buy the piano for her the ones I see when I shop around aren’t durable.  I’m one person who believes that you have to buy the best from the beginning.

If you are working on a budget then I highly recommend you try out Timeless Photos.  I’m definitely going back before the year ends to get some pictures taken for my fitness brand.

There are also some very good photographers in the country.  They are doing amazing things.  Their work is all over social media and you should certainly get in touch with them to get some work done.  Don’t say I didn’t give you the hook up!

Kennedy Famba : @KennedyFamba (Twitter)

Tino Nyandoro: @TinoNyandoro (Twitter)

KB Mpofu: @KBMpofu (Twitter)

Who are some of the best photographers in your country?  Have you been for a photo-shoot before?  What was your experience like?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Day 18: Sex Education

Sex posts are one of my favourite things to blog about but today I won’t take you on an erotica journey, sadly for you.  Today’s challenge requires us to write about sex on the first date but I’m taking this opportunity to reshare a post I wrote 2 years ago.  Let’s talk sex education.  Are you taking steps in educating your children about sex or you are hoping they will remain virgins till the world comes to an end?  Remember you are responsible for how they perceive a lot of things, sex included, don’t wait for someone else to feed them with false information.  Today’s read will take you less than 10 minutes to enjoy, grab some popcorn it’s about to get real!

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Image from Google

You know that talk a child gets just before they enter their adolescent stage?  Well, I got that talk, the only difference was that mine was a very scary version.  You see, in our culture back then most parents were not very comfortable talking about sex with their children.  That job was left to the aunt but with people moving far and wide in the end your mother was left to do all the work and boy did she do a shoddy job of it.  In order to stop me from indulging in any sex her plan was to tell me stories that would stop me from even dreaming about having sex. (they worked for a while though)  I remember the day my mother sat me down to tell me how I should not have sex before I was married.  Mind you she didn’t even use the word sex; I am still to remember what term she used but I just concluded she meant sex.  She told me that if I got too close to a boy or even let him touch any part of my body her back would break.  THE HORROR!!  I didn’t even date anyone during my teen years because I was obviously scared shitless.  Why would I want a boy anywhere near me?  So that my mother’s back breaks??  That was definitely going to happen on my watch, I love my mother too much to cause her any harm!

And so I sailed through my teen years until one day a boy I fancied started writing me letters.  I was obviously excited and kept this my little secret.  I remember going for a walk with him one afternoon and then before we said goodbye he kissed me!  OH MY FREAKING GOSH!!  I was terrified!  I ran all the way home, locked myself in the bathroom and kept looking in the mirror to check if my parents would be able to tell if I had been kissed.  I was miserable for the rest of the day and when they came back from work I acted normal but my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was going to jump right out of my throat.  The next morning and the weeks to come I woke up worried thinking my mother’s back would surely break after that kiss!  But of course nothing happened and years later I started dating, I even had sex (protected of course) and no one’s back ever broke, like ever!

I had to learn about sex through school mates and talks the women who would occasionally come to school and talk about not allowing anyone to touch your body.  They didn’t actually say anything about safe sex or contraceptives and the whole shebang.  And so I had to read about most of the things in books and or overhear my sisters talk about condoms then I figured that’s what you were supposed to use.  To be honest that was the only form of contraceptive I knew of; that and abstaining.  I still feel that my mother could have done a better job of informing me about sex and not have me wonder and seek answers from outside sources.  She did a very good job of letting me think that sex was a very bad thing not to be talked about, had or enjoyed because something terrible would happen to you.  At the same time I don’t blame her because she grew up in a time where such talks were unheard of.

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Image from Google

I asked a few friends around me to tell me how their “birds and the bees” talk when they were younger and this is the feedback I got:

“Ahh, I don’t remember being told anything by my mum.  She just told me no boys before finishing school.”

“She gave me the finer details about sex when I was around 16.  Even told me how people have sex so that little boys wouldn’t trick me with the don’t worry it isn’t sex line.”

“She never said anything.”

“I had sex figured out from my teacher.”

“We never had the talk she just said if you get pregnant don’t ever come back home.”

“Stay away from sex because you will get pregnant!  If a boy tells you he loves you run for your life!”

I am happy and sad at the same time with this kind of feedback.  Happy because it shows that I wasn’t alone in being told ridiculous things in the name of no sex before your time.  Sad because we were not given enough information about what sex really was even though we were still too young to understand it.  At least one person out of all my friends actually got to know what sex was the rest of us have to figure it out by ourselves!

When my daughter gets to adolescent stage I will sit down with her and we will have an honest and open talk about sex and not hide anything from her so that she knows how to protect herself and be aware of the on goings of her body.  I won’t scare her or tell her any lies because I want her to know she can come to me and talk about anything at anytime.

A fellow Blogger www.conscious2conscience.wordpress.com taking part in the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge shared these sentiments;

Media will have us telling our kids too much too soon but I’m a firm believer in things being age appropriate and in parenting instincts.  When your child asks you what sex is ask them what they already know, ask why they want to know, and then take it from there.

What was your first sex talk like?  Who told you about the ins and outs of sex?

©MaKupsy 2017

Day 17: When In Doubt, Eat Sadza!

Growing up I don’t remember a time when we didn’t have sadza included in our meals.  It was an all day everyday kind of meal.  Back then the only time you had rice or any other starch for that was on special occasions namely Christmas.  We all looked forward to this time of the year because rice, chicken and coleslaw salad would be served and we would dive in and enjoy every bite of it.  Not only did we get to enjoy fancy food but we also got to show off our Christmas clothes to all our friends in the neighbourhood.  On some Christmas’s the rains would come pouring down and we would be stuck indoors and have no opportunity to display our latest gifts.  Sigh

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Sadza, grilled pork chop, vegetables, thick tomato and onion soup + Glass of Mazoe Cream Soda for control! Photo Credit: @MsSmileSoBright (Twitter)

My mother taught me how to prepare sadza at around age 10 and I didn’t like it at all.  That meant an additional thing to do on top of my already long list of chores.  (I hate doing housework).  Thankfully I mastered the art and in no time I was preparing a mean plate of sadza.  Sadza is our staple food in Zimbabwe and the one time you know you can’t live without it is when you travel and you have to live on hotel food…you will miss sadza in ways you can’t even fully fathom.

The reasons why I love sadza aplenty!

  • You can have sadza for breakfast
  • You can have sadza for lunch
  • You can have sadza for supper
  • You can have sadza a few hours before going out for drinks to “cement” your stomach so that you don’t throw up
  • You can have sadza to cure a hangover
  • You don’t need any fancy cutlery to enjoy it, your hands will do all the work
  • You can enjoy a plate of sadza with almost anything from beef stew, chicken, mushrooms, green vegetables, madora (mopani worms), kapenta, sour milk…I could go on forever!  It’s one of the most versatile foods I know.

Here’s a recipe on how to prepare sadza that I extracted from ZimboKitchen:

  1. Put mealie-meal in pot. Add cold water to make a paste. Put pot on stove and add boiling water whilst stirring simultaneously.
  2. Keep stirring until rakukwata (it’s boiling). Cover pot, reduce heat and let it simmer for 15 minutes.
  3. After 15 minutes, add more mealie-meal bit by bit and as we say it in our vernacular, mona sadza(mix). Be sure to do it well. When it’s just about to reach the consistency you want, cover it rishinyire(loosely translated- let is simmer) for 5 minutes. Your sadza is ready. Serve with your preferred relish.

 

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Photo Credit @MsSmileSoBright (Twitter)

There you have it.  The staple food in our family.  Now that I stay alone the staple food in my house is anything that cooks fast because I don’t have time to be slaving in the kitchen all day!

What’s the staple meal in your family?  How often do you eat it?  Please share a picture or a recipe, I would love to try out something different.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Day 3: My Totem; MaDube

I absolutely looooove being a MaDube.  My totem is a zebra.  The females who bear this totem are titled MaDube.  The men who bear our totem are titled Samaita or Tembo.  I would never trade my totem for any other.  What is a totem?

A totem is a natural object or animal that is believed by a particular society to have spiritual significance and that is adopted by it as an emblem.

To be honest, I don’t have much information on the subject of totems so I will share the little bits I know.  The last time I had to do this was way back in junior school when we were tasked to find out what our totems were and write up how the totem was “praised”.  In our culture, we use totems as a form of identifying each other.  For example, take a couple trying to get to know each other, one of the first few questions they ask is, “What’s your totem?”.  Unfortunately if you bear the same totem chances are you can’t date because you will be “related”.  (There goes the love of your life.)  

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Zebra

Totems are used at different occasions:

  • For greetings; Mamukasei MaDube? (Good morning MaDube)
  • For praises when you excel at something.  For example after you have cooked a meal for your family they will thank you using your totem.  Maita basa MaDube. (Thank you MaDube)
  • When you do a great deed, for example, taking care of your siblings school fees for the term. Maita basa Tembo mugare kure nemoto. (Thank you Tembo may you be protected and not fall into misfortune.)
  • When you give your partner some mind blowing sex it takes them to another planet and back.  After such an incredible experience your partner will thank you using praises of your totem. (Maita Tembo zvirambe zvakadaro) loosely translated to; Thank you Tembo may you continue to do the things that need to be done!

Fun Facts about MaDube

  1. They are short tempered.  Trust me, I know, I’m a MaDube.
  2. They are known for being the best lay ever!  (I wouldn’t know though, I’m a virgin)
  3. Zebras have very nice legs, no lies at all.  Take another look at the picture above, then refer to the one at the bottom for confirmation.  They have strong, toned and beautiful legs and so it is only natural that those who bear the totem are blessed in that department.
  4. If you are a MaDube feel free to add more fun facts…I’m all out.
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MaDube

That said, this blogging challenge has gotten the best of me and it’s only day 3.  Today was a tough day and I nearly didn’t blog but I remembered that I am NOT a quitter and besides I initiated this challenge, who goes around letting people down like that?

If you have a totem do tell me about it.  If you are a MaDube like me what are some of the things you have heard about our totem that you can completely relate to?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Day 2: Top 10 African Home Rules

It’s a beautiful morning, Saturday is the best day of the week I kid you not!  (now that I have my own place).  Back when I was still staying with my parents sleeping in on a Saturday morning was something you watched on TV and the moment I got my freedom I made sure that waking up at whatever time my heart desired would be a top priority.  Let me share some of the rules from way back when which were drilled into my head.  My parents didn’t have to tell me twice, I was scared to find out what would happen to me if I chose to disobey them!

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image from Pinterest

  1. No sitting on dad’s sofa.  My dad had a specific sofa he liked and even in his absence you were not allowed to sit there.
  2. No going to play outside the gate.  The gate was ALWAYS locked and you only left when you had to go to the shops to buy bread or to go school.
  3. No singing or talking during meal times.
  4. No leaving your food unfinished.  Whatever your mother dished out for you had to be cleared, no matter how sick you claimed to be.  The whole “I don’t like eating this” didn’t exist in our home.  You ate EVERYTHING.
  5. No watching TV after 8pm.
  6. No bringing anything that does not belong to you, it could be a simple pen, believe me the very next day you would have to take it back.
  7. No going for parties that start at night.  No hosting parties either! I remember being told I couldn’t attend a friends party and yet she was just 3 houses away, I was gutted!
  8. No waking up late, I was usually up to help with cleaning the house by 5:30am and if I attempted to sleep any further my mother would come to my room and start singing or looking for something in my drawers or open my curtains and windows because “basa mangwanani” – you should start house chores early in the day.  I guess this explains why I am a morning person.
  9. No locking of bedroom doors.  There were to be no “privacy” as long as I was staying under my parents roof.  My dad used to read my letters when they came through the post!
  10. Everyone had to be home by 6pm.  To this day even when I visit I don’t even go anywhere after 6pm, it’s a long standing rule.

Just from reading my own list I realise growing up was hard man.  Who does that?  I could actually go on and list more rules but this list made me realise some of those rules helped mold me to be the person I am today.  I guess my parents meant well and wanted to inform some form of discipline and order.

Right now I have my cup of tea right next to me and a plate of fruit, I know if my mother knew I was eating in bed she would throw a fit!

What are the rules that you grew up strongly abiding by? Let’s share some them in the comments section, I would like to believe no one can beat my list!

#30DayAfriBlogger Challenge

©MaKupsy 2017

Women Need Help Too!

I have a serious bone to chew with whoever comes up with some of these things.  Don’t get me wrong I am all for taking care of your other half but lately I have been wondering.  Who takes care of the woman once a couple gets married?  Our culture expects the woman to bend and break for her husband.  From cooking, cleaning, making sure the house is in order, being intimate with him as many times as she can take it, taking care of the children, showing up for funerals, family functions, taking in in-laws…the list is endless.  In all this you are bound to ask yourself what the man will be doing in this equation.  The answer is easy really.  He will be sitting in front of the TV watching who knows what and relaxing all day long.  Basically the man does nothing.  Before you get all worked up it’s obvious its not ALL MEN who are like that, but in our culture most men are.

I am going to keep this post as short as possible so that it doesn’t turn into a man bashing rant.  What I would like to know is who is taking care of the woman in all this?  After a long days work she is expected to get home, prepare supper, make sure the children have done their homework and a whole list of other things married people do.  Would it kill the husband to actually cook once in a while if he got home before the wife?  If he isn’t much of a cook maybe pile up the dishes nicely, boil the meat, chops onions and tomatoes (do something) so that when the wife gets home she can start from somewhere and not feel like a slave who has to wait hand and foot for her husband.  Maybe my way of thinking is crazy but it would make the world a better place if people worked as a team.  Heck, women get tired too they are not energizer bunnies who just keep going and going.

Aint-your-mama.jpg

Image from Google

I know a man who is reading this and saying to himself “But I pay all the bills around the house and she doesn’t have to worry about the financial side of things”  Well yes, thank you for doing a great job mister, but it’s not always about the money.  It’s about the small things that make a woman feel a whole lot more appreciated for everything she does.

Our culture has a long way to go…  If by any chance a man is seen by his friends or relatives helping around the house (there are very few of these by the way) he is considered weak and chances are his wife fed him a love potion so that he can do as she pleases with him.  Wrong thinking right there.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing tasks.  It actually makes for a better home and chances of getting more sex because “I am tired” won’t be featuring in the wife’s’ list of excuses.

Teamwork people teamwork!

But then again, I’m not married, what would I know about the ins and outs of a marriage?  It wouldn’t hurt to consider it though, I am sure your wife would be happy to see you do something to make tasks around the house a little easier.

What are your honest thoughts on this subject?  I know not everyone will agree with my line of thinking so I would love to hear from you.

©MaKupsy 2017