Friends Are Like Breasts

“Friends are like breasts, you’ve got big ones, small ones, real ones, and fake ones.”

I’m that one person who has very few friends.  I can safely say I have just 5 close friends and it’s a great feeling; I have way less drama in my life thanks to that.  These friends are in trouble though, we share the most random life experiences and I promise you if anyone went  Over the years I have lost and found new friends at different phases of my life but one thing stands true, all of my friendships have come with both positive and negative lessons which I will write about at a later time.  Today let me share my thoughts on how you can keep the sparkle in your friendship.

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Shami & MaKupsy 🙂

Communication

Friendships just like relationships take a lot of work.  Thankfully technology has made life easier for everyone and most people have access to WhatsApp, Skype, phone calls, social media platforms, think Facebook; there really is no excuse not to stay in touch.  If you plan on staying friends for a while you have to make sure you take regular communication seriously.

Spending Time Together

Yes ladies, you know how we always complain about that guy who only texts but never makes an effort to meet up and see you on a face to face date?  No prize for guessing that the same thing applies to friendship!  Make an effort to meet up in person as often as you can to do activities you both like.  I know one of my close friends has a “no phones policy” when we go out on dates, she believes it’s important to give each other 110% attention when we finally get to spend time together because cellphones are generally disruptive and I now completely agree!

Space

There is a huge difference between catching up and suffocating your friend.  Don’t be that friend who doesn’t understand the art of leaving someone alone with their thoughts.  It’s perfectly fine to go a day or two without talking to a close friend, life is happening to all of us and sometimes spending an entire day chatting away about nothing is not the most productive thing to do.  It’s welcome on most days but certainly not on all days.  If you are this person, please give your friend some space.

Surprises

I would have said gifts but everyone’s language of love is different.  I remember the one time I was crazy in love about shoes and my best friend Tanya, who happens to be all the way in South Africa got me a pair of designer heels for my birthday.  I was in tears of joy the entire day thinking of how she planned for weeks to get the shoes to me on my birthday without ever showing a hint of what she was up to.  She knows my language of love is all things pretty if that’s even a language but she gets me.  You know what your friend values the most, whatever it is, make an effort to go out of your way and get it done for them.  Here’s a free idea, get someone to clean their house and do their laundry and iron it so that they come back home they get back to a sparkling clean house!

*P.S. Surprise money is also nice*

Honesty

If your friend is always in agreement and never questions your choices or decisions is that even a friend?  At some point you will mess up and you will need someone to hand it out to you in black and white, no sugar coating, no playing nice; just the hard truth.  They will also give you advice on how best to deal with a situation because criticism without a way forward is pointless.  When your friend is losing the plot be the one to remind them, good friends look out for each other.

Grow Together

Grow in all aspects.  Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  What’s the point of being friends if you remain exactly the same?  Most of my friends are book worms, they are always studying for some programme of sort and it’s only natural that it rubs onto me.  The last time I was on a coffee date with Chenge she encouraged me to take up an online course which I delayed on taking any action on until a few weeks ago.  You see, our lunch dates are productive after all!

These are my top tips on how to keep the spice in your friendship.  I know there are a lot more of where those came from but I would like to hear from you.  What do you do to maintain the friendship connections in your life?  I’ve observed that men don’t seem to do a lot of work to maintain their friendships.  How do you men do it?  Please share your secrets!

That said, when it comes to the sort of breast friend I am, I’m right up there with the “real breasts, have you seen the size of my breasts?! *insert forever laughing emoji here*

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

 

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Sex On The First Date

First dates are designed to produce a number of relationship outcomes. (e.g. sexual partner, friendship, short-term romantic relationship, or life partnership.) – Wikipedia

I don’t know about you but I know that sex is a pretty enjoyable experience.  Without it the world would probably be one very boring place!  A lot of people are not comfortable talking about sex, which is very much okay because we are different but unfortunately for you I love to go on and on about it as and when.  Today I want to share my thoughts on having sex on the first date.  It comes with a lot of controversy of course but look, dating as described above is a process that yields different outcomes so having sex or not largely depends on the individuals involved.

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Image From Pinterest

 

First things first, you have to decide if you want to establish why you want to date.  With that out of the way your first date won’t be too awkward.  Below are some of the reasons why you should totally have sex on the first date.

  • Life is short!  Do you have any idea how you can go for weeks, months or even years without getting laid and here you are trying to deprive your lady bits of such pleasures?
  • If the chemistry is there there’s really no need to hold out on him, be a go getter!  Let’s just dive straight into dessert, who has time for the main meal, right?
  • You are confident that this is what you really want and you won’t start regretting it afterwards.
  • The earlier you have sex the better to save yourself time.  You might choose to wait for months only to be disappointed that time you have already caught feelings and now you end up staying with that person for all the wrong reasons!
  • Whatever you do just make sure you get yourself a shattering orgasm and not leave yourself unsatisfied.  Do you have any idea how lovely those sex hormones feel, not forgetting the after sex glow, you will be smiling for days to come.

However, I do understand that a lot of people, women especially have some reservations when it comes to having sex on the first date.  These are some of the reasons why having sex on the first date might not be a very bright idea.

  • You probably don’t know enough about someone to let them into such an intimate part of your life.  Are you ready to deal with the demons that come with them?
  • Your partner might judge you for being too forward.
  • Say goodbye to your judgement.  Once you get some good dicking you can kiss thinking straight goodbye.  Most people get attached to someone once they have sex with them and if things happen to go wrong it will be difficult to let go.  Now you are stuck with a complete as*hole but the sex game is out of this world.  Good dick is NOT your friend!

I’ve read a couple of articles that encourage women to wait to have sex with their potential partner for 90 days. Apparently this will determine if someone will stay with you for the long haul.  Truth be told, some people had someone wait for a whole year and they still left!  After all is said and done someone will leave if they want to, whether you have sex with them on the first date or after 90 days.

There’s absolutely no formula to this whole sex on the first date thing.  It can work out for the good or the bad depending on the couple involved.  However, if you do decide to have sex whatever you do ALWAYS practice safe sex.  My thoughts still remain the same on the subject.  I’m too old to die from lust because a, b and c said you should do this.  I will do what I think is right for me because You Only Live Once!

You can check out some of the comments on the subject from one of my favourite Facebook Pages from here.  There is never a dull moment there and you should like and follow and never miss out on daily discussions.

What are your thoughts on sex on the first date or even better, care to share your experience on the subject?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

10 Quotes That Make Me Happy

Happiness really is a state of mind.  I know this first hand.  Most days I’m a bubble of positive energy and some days well, some days life takes over and I drown in negative energy.  Last week was hard for me, I was facing so many emotional battles that I was convinced I was never going to get out of it.  Thankfully it only lasted a while and I’m back to my happy self.  Below are some of my favourite quotes.

  1. Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.
  2. Some days you just have to bring your own sunshine.
  3. If you are tired learn to rest not quit!
  4. Today will be F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S.
  5. One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to let go of the things that make you sad.
  6. Stress is caused by giving a fu*k
  7. Chin up Queen, or the crown slips.
  8. Being happy never goes out of style.
  9. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
  10. Today be the badas* girl you were too lazy to be yesterday!

I love Pinterest, it’s one of my many reliable sources when it comes to getting back on the happy wagon.  You can follow me and check out my board, Positive Energy.

What keeps you going when you are facing trying times?

 

©MaKupsy 2017

Day 24: I Came, I Saw, I Captured

“For my birthday I want a photo-shoot, a piano and a baby sister.”

Talk about a little person who know’s exactly what she wants!  That was my daughter Miss Kupsy telling me her birthday requests a few weeks ago.  I just smiled and thought this child is from another planet.  Where in the world will I get a baby sister from at such short notice?  I reminded her that she had a brother but she quickly pointed out that she wanted a sister NOT a brother.

I make sure each of her birthdays are memorable and this time around her photo-shoot wish came true.  The photographer was convinced she had gone for a photo-shoot before but I confirmed that it was definitely her first time.  We had a lot of fun.  It ended up being a mother-daughter shoot but the highlight was on her.  She got over 100 photos taken!

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Miss Kupsy 🙂

Who: Timeless Photos

What: Focusing on weddings, commercial projects, corporate events and studio photography.

Where: 66 Nelson Mandela Ave, 1st Floor, Strachans Building, Harare

Price: $15 for 15 minutes, $25 for 30 minutes and $50 for one hour (studio photographs) where you only get soft copies transferred to your memory stick.  For more information on their price guides feel free to get in touch with them on their Facebook Page.

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Miss Kupsy’s 6th Birthday

I chose the package for 15 minutes which also comes with two printed copies.  Timeless Photos provides pretty temporary picture frames and they have more durable ones they sell for $5.  The whole experience cost us $30 and I left a happy woman because I still had more birthday treats lined up for Miss Kupsy.  A friend of mine sent her money to buy her a toy piano.  Being a child is certainly the best time of your life!  No one sends me money on my birthday.  I’m still to buy the piano for her the ones I see when I shop around aren’t durable.  I’m one person who believes that you have to buy the best from the beginning.

If you are working on a budget then I highly recommend you try out Timeless Photos.  I’m definitely going back before the year ends to get some pictures taken for my fitness brand.

There are also some very good photographers in the country.  They are doing amazing things.  Their work is all over social media and you should certainly get in touch with them to get some work done.  Don’t say I didn’t give you the hook up!

Kennedy Famba : @KennedyFamba (Twitter)

Tino Nyandoro: @TinoNyandoro (Twitter)

KB Mpofu: @KBMpofu (Twitter)

Who are some of the best photographers in your country?  Have you been for a photo-shoot before?  What was your experience like?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Day 13: I Will Marry When I Want

When are you getting married?

The next person who asks me when I am getting married is going to get stone cold silence from me.  I swear I get asked this question at least once a week and it annoys the heck out of me! What is wrong with people?  Can’t a woman just enjoy her life without always being asked about her marital status update?  You would think trying to explain why you are not married yet will stop people from asking but no, you’re wrong, they keep coming back to ask you the same damn thing every single time.  What about asking me how I am doing, how my dreams and aspirations are going, something, anything, just not about marriage.  You know what amuses me the most?  The fact that people think that husbands are found in supermarkets.  Like you just waltz into Pick n Pay, go through the “Husband shelf” and voila, you have yourself a husband!  Or maybe there’s a dial-a-husband application that I’m not aware of that delivers husbands to your doorstep?  It doesn’t work like that people, this sh*t is complicated.

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Shingi & Tonde

While we’re on the marriage subject I just want to say congratulations to my favourite couple above whose pictures I can’t help but use each time I write about all things lovey dovey.  They got married recently and I am absolutely happy for them and yes they are responsible for the beautiful images in today’s post.

Back to the subject at hand.  I for one have mixed feelings when it comes to marriage.  One moment I am super anti marriage telling myself I don’t need anyone I have been doing this life thing on my own for all these years why in the world would I need someone to come and turn my perfectly defined life upside down?  Then some days I’m thinking am I really going to die alone Oh My Goodness who will take care of me?  If I’m very honest with myself though I think marriage would be a great idea provided I meet the right candidate.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of men out there but how many of them are the right match for me?  Marriage is a lifetime decision and if I’m going to choose that path it is going to be with someone who will want the same thing.  I’m a mother and this whole let’s date for fun and see how it goes thing doesn’t cut it for me.  I have another human being to consider and if I choose to get married the person in question will play a very important role in my daughter’s life.  Which begs the question, how many men out there are willing to date and marry a woman who already has a child in tow?  Let me see, probably 5 in the whole wide world.  Let’s laugh together shall we?  Like I said it’s complicated!

To everyone who keeps asking me when I’m getting married please take a seat.  As and when the time is right it shall happen.  You won’t hear the end of it, you will deactivate your social media accounts, I will be telling you about “my husband” at every given opportunity and we will be inseparable it will make you sick to your stomach.  We will love each other fearlessly and spend the rest of our natural lives together because once we get married there is no turning back, we will be in it for life.  For now allow me to take my time and wait for my King to come and collect his Queen who is working on becoming a better person one day at a time.

I remember having a conversation about relationships with Shingi not so long ago.  She shared some tips on what has worked for her relationship in the past 3 years.  We were meant to write up a thread on Twitter but we never got time to do so.  Today is your lucky day because I have the tips right here with me;

1. Don’t just get into a relationship, know what you want out of a relationship.

2. Get to know him or her first. This is where long distance relationships are a plus. They allow you to know a person a bit before you meet. I’m not saying all long distance relationships work out but some have.

3. Friendship is important, that’s something that keeps things going in seasons when romantic feels face a storm.

4. Sharing the same belief is critical as it lays a foundation in your relationship.

5. Know how to SHOW him how you feel without saying it and he should also know how to SHOW you too. Emphasis on Love language!

6. Meaningful relationships are not secretive and should not be a secret. Meaningful relationships have witnesses and that is why people invite guests to witness their marriage.

7. A relationship that is long term will involve friends & family. Know this!

8. Believe in each other and learn to function as a team. Bonds grow stronger when you face challenges together.

9. Share a vision (exactly what you want, put it out there). This sets direction on how to build a life together. Cementing the foundation.

10. Talk to each other, it might sound funny but must couple can’t they talk over each other. Communication is key. 🔑🔑🔑

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Photo Credit: Shingi (@lana_chik)  Twitter

*Disclaimer* Each couple is responsible for their own relationship’s success and those tips might not work for everyone.

I have written about my thoughts on marriage in the past and some of the posts have been controversial as always.

I Will Marry For Money

I Have A Confession

Marriage Behind Closed Doors

What is that ONE question that people keep asking you that pisses you off?  Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

I Found My Purpose

I never really wanted a lot of things badly enough.  I could like something alright but really want and need it was a different story.  I went through the greater part of my life having a luke warm attitude towards a lot of things until one fateful day.  The day I went for my regular medical examinations and hopped on the scale to reveal how I had gone from being fat to obese was a life changing moment.  It was at that very moment that I decided I was going to do everything in my power to do something about the excess weight I was carrying around.  I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.  Why is this important to note?  Well, when I was full term and a few days before giving birth to my baby girl I was 85kgs so you can imagine the horror!  It was time to get up and do something!

I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.

With no money to subscribe for gym membership I was left to my own devices.  I decided running would be my best bet since it was free and all I needed was myself.  The first days were hard and I power walked through most of the distances I had set out for myself.  After weeks  of pushing myself I eventually ran for longer without stopping and I got all the motivation to keep going…I haven’t stopped running since.

I did not have much information to work with when it came to my eating habits so I simply worked with what other people were trying out.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night and sending a message to my friend telling her how hunger was stopping me from sleeping.  I had adopted a diet where I ate a very heavy breakfast, sometimes it even had sadza, a heavy-ish lunch and close to nothing but a glass of water and fruit for supper.  The scale was not moving, I was unhappy, I was hungry.  It was only after reading an article on the internet that I realised that I was doing myself more harm than good and started learning the art of preparing healthy balanced meals.  That was one of the best things that ever happened to me!

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I am going to be the first NikeWoman from Zimbabwe 🙂

Running got much more fun.  I had set out distances to try out and each time I managed to run through them.  My goal was to run 10K and if I could do that I would have officially accomplished the biggest goal in my life.  It did happen and it was just as I had pictured it.  From thereon I started challenging myself to run not just longer but faster and the hobby slowly became an addiction.  When I started I showcased my fitness journey on social media.  I knew I would have no choice but to show up come rain(in every sense of the word) or shine because my followers would be expecting to see my progress.

I switched things up and added Zumba, Yoga, NRC Workouts, Aerobics, Swimming and Tennis.  I realised that running alone was going to get boring at some point so the more activities I included the better variety to choose from.  I was bubbly, stronger, happier, fit and lean.  I did all this from the comfort of my home and never had to part with a single dime to reach my desired goal.  I have bumped into friends from College who can’t believe I haven’t changed at all because I am physically the same person.  If only they knew how much change that has taken place mentally as well.  I am a completely different person now.

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With family and social media followers starting to compliment on my progress I felt the need to to work harder.  When I realised the impact my journey had on people around me I created a WhatsApp group which has turned into a movement termed #RunWithFitnessBae.  At the beginning of the year it was trending because of a Fitness Challenge I had planned and organised.  The movement has participants from different parts of the world but mostly Africa.  I have taken the movement from WhatsApp to Facebook, Blogging and Instagram.  As it stands I am currently the only Zimbabwean Fitness Blogger and I create fresh content each week!

It brings me so much joy to know that even though my fitness journey was mainly pushed by a case of depression; the fruits that have come from it have actually created a passion and purpose that I could have never imagined.  I have managed to inspire people across the globe; especially mothers, to exercise and get back to their pre-pregnancy bodies.  Those who have come into contact with me have become better not only physically but emotionally as well.

I am a woman on a mission to make the most of every opportunity life throws at me.  I believe everyone can exercise for the body that they want and if you can not afford the gym there is no excuse not to get fit.  I am a living example of what park runs can do for you.  I am currently 74kgs and I have never had to part with a single dollar to lose weight.  I have been through it all, the fad diets, the hoping for miracle weight loss, the drinking fruit juice all day but at the end of the day what I have learnt is that you have to eat right, exercise and be patient.  The results will come, just make small changes everyday and you will be amazed at what your body can do.

If you would like to talk to someone about weight loss or weight management then I am the person for you.  If you would like to be a part of the current Winter Challenge feel free to join us, all the more competition for the team.

Never give up on what you truly want, it’s not everyday that people get to find out what it is that fires their soul!

I found my purpose.  The one thing that makes me get up in the morning and look forward to starting the day.  The one thing I dream of, the one thing I get excited talking about, the one thing that keeps me up at night writing up ideas and chewing up my data while I do research on the internet.  The one thing that I can’t live without.  I think, eat, dream, live fitness.  I am Fitness Bae.

I have a series coming up on Tuesday 18 July, be sure to log onto my Fitness Blog and subscribe.

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©MaKupsy 2017

 

Woman Crush Wednesday : @TeteHumba

I am always on the look out for people who ooze positive energy.  My first Woman Crush Wednesday this year is this beautiful soul; Tete Humba.

Creativity

Some of the things that fire my soul include being creative and working with my hands; with that I can never go wrong. As long as I am making something, I am happy. It started off as a joke but the more I experimented the more I realised that that was my happy place. From headboards, to DIY beauty products, to wigs, to clothes, shoes, wall décor. I’ll make it all!

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Skin Tone

Coconut oil!  I use it to moisturize; in my masks and to remove my makeup. It’s incorporated in everything. But bear in mind I have dry skin so that makes the perfect combo.

 

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Life Lessons 

When it’s a part of God’s plan, it will happen.  The Year 2016 was a very difficult year for me, and life threw its punches of all sorts.  Life tried to get me down but God had His own idea and here I am.

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Your Centre?

My family. I cannot imagine life without them. They are my everything.

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You can get in touch with Tete Humba on FacebookTwitter and Instagram.  For her hair products you can also find her on Instagram @hairbytete_h and @rtndphotography

Don’t forget the 8th of March is International Women’s Day, celebrate women!!

©MaKupsy 2017

 

H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

Happiness doesn’t come easy, it’s an everyday task.  From the moment you wake up to the moment you lay your head down to rest you have to choose to be happy.   I’ve tried for so many years to get happiness from other people not knowing that if those people left they would take their happiness with them.  Then there was trying to get fulfillment from material things.  I think trying to find happiness in material things is the worst kind of disappointment.  Imagine spending so much money on a gadget hoping it will miraculously change your life and make you feel happy only for it to be just that, a new gadget in your life and less money in the bank for you; so much for that!

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Years later, happiness comes to me naturally.  Of course I have my bad days, I am only human after all and on a scale of 1-10 I am right there on 8.  So here’s a list of some of the things I do to keep the good aura going in my life.

  • I speak to my daughter over the phone every single day.  Hearing from her makes a good start to my morning and I tell her how much I love her each day.
  • Mondays used to be the worst but now I get up wear my favourite outfit and show up for work all glamourous.  Bright colours on a Monday do the trick for me and I just breeze through the day with ease.
  • I exercise 4 to 5 times a week, the feel good hormones I get from that are priceless.  I can face my day with positive vibes.
  • I dance myself silly when a song I like appears on my playlist, (when I am at home of course) we can’t be getting our groove on during working hours now can we…
  • I listen to all genres of music, at work, at home, when I work out, music is definitely good for my soul.
  • I go out with my friends occasionally and party on, you know what they say, all work and no play.
  • I blog, my new found hobby, I thoroughly enjoy it and I bump into interesting reads every day.  It is a different and educative hobby, I still don’t know why I didn’t start on it earlier.
  • I make sure I smile and be very helpful at work no matter how my day is going, I make it a point that everyone I assist leaves our office with good things to say about our company and me obviously!
  • When a client gives me a hard time at work, I tell myself they probably have their own personal issues that they are going through and don’t take it to heart.
  • I surround myself with happy people, there is nothing as bad as having friends who are always complaining about something and never taking time to look at the positive things in life, no matter how small.
  • I try and do something nice for those close to me, a phonecall, a surprise visit, a small gift, anything to make someone else’s day.
  • I don’t let the father of my daughter steal my joy when we disagree on something, I just breathe in and out and say forgive him for he does not know any better (attempt to pray for him instead of the other insane options going through my head)  and my day goes on.
  • I try to mind my own business as much as I can that way drama and gossip are not a part of my life for the sake of peace.
  • And most importantly I pray, I put all my burdens and worries to God because if i didn’t do so I know I would have probably lost my mind from worry by now.

Find out what makes you happy and do exactly that.  Start one day a time and before you know it each day will be better than the last.  Life is too short; make a list of things you need to do each day and make sure you make happiness an everyday goal!

MaKupsy