Day 4: How Not To Mess Up A First Date

Your first date has to be one of the most nerve wrecking experiences when you are getting to know someone.  It’s all fun and games when you are messaging each other and talking over the phone here and there; but when it comes to the big day of the first date you need to get yourself in check incase your first date might end up being your last date.  You know I always have the hook up when it comes to all things juicy, so have a look-see below and read on tips on how not to mess up a first date from me and my good friend Tomukudza(Man Crush Everyday! He is always dressed to the nines you should totally check out his profile).  

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Photo Credit @tinonyandoro and @kayolicious (Twitter)

Dear Men;

  1. Be different.  Be bold!  Us women are tired of dinner dates, it’s 2017, so many exciting opportunities are out there to spend some one on one time together.  Nothing against dinner if that’s your kind of thing but at least try to think outside the box, you want your first date to make a lasting impression.
  2. Plan ahead.  You have obviously been talking about where you will probably go for your first date.  Make sure you go there beforehand and find out a few things about the place.  For example, if you have decided to go for a coffee date when you get there find out what’s on the menu, how much the food costs, the payment methods available, where the bathroom is, best time to come through.  Basically do your homework so that when you get there with your date you look organised and confident. That’s already a plus for you!
  3. Dress to impress.  Okay fine, not like you are going for some photo shoot of sort but look decent, iron your clothes, make sure they are clean, cut your nails, clean your shoes.  Just don’t show up looking like you just got out of bed.
  4. Be on time.  Nothing as unattractive as a guy who can’t keep time.  If anything happens to delay you please have the decency to call and let your date know you are running late.
  5. Talk about how much money you have, how many cars you own, how many businesses you run.  That is a sure way to lose a woman’s interest.  Are you trying to buy my love?
  6. Get off the phone.  Even though we live in a digitally active time when you are on a date, especially your first date it’s very important that you don’t fiddle with your phone and not pay attention to your date.  It’s best to put it on silent and pack it away in your pocket.  You can thank me later.
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image from Pinterest

Dear Ladies; (Tomukudza)

  1. Say something…no one wants to make time for someone who doesn’t talk.  The idea is to have conversation and you should make sure you take part in it.  A guy might be put off if he’s the only one doing all the talking.
  2. A woman who asks for money on a first date. Like please, that’s a total No No. You don’t want a guy going back home preoccupied about whether he’s getting himself a partner or a dependent.
  3. Don’t make everything about yourself. Have time to talk. Have time to listen. Like actually listen. The small things matter. Just as you expect a guy to take things you say about yourself seriously; also take time to hear what he says about himself seriously. If he says he loves football he means it. Don’t ridicule it because you can’t relate.
  4. Let there be no disconnect between the impression you have given of yourself via messaging and what you actually turn out to be. If a guy is expecting Sarah and what he meets turns out to be Rudo you may never see him again😂   Let me emphasise on this…Make up and filters. Don’t send him Beyonce like pictures and turn out to be…not so Beyonce.
  5. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not, it will cost you in the long run.  For example, before you meet you’re say “I love the outdoors or I like this type of food trying to live up to certain standards and turn out not to actually enjoy those things and not be the person you said you were.
  6. Please smell nice. Bad breath. Bad smells.  A BIG NO. Shave your armpits if you’re going to be wearing something revealing.   This is why it’s important to be on time. You don’t want to arrive all sweaty and breathless.

There you have it, the 12 tips that will definitely help you not to mess up your first date!  Whatever you do make sure you have fun, after all you are trying to get to know each other.  That means the TWO of you.  Not your brothers, sisters, aunts, don’t bring anyone else other than yourself on your first date!

The #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge continues and you can check out some of today’s posts from the African Bloggers taking part:

Any tips to share?  Any fun stories to tell about your first date experiences?  Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

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Relationship Deal Breakers

Show me a woman who doesn’t want a man with a plan and I will show you a liar! – MaKupsy 2017

Hello my lovings, it’s another beautiful day.  I don’t know why this week I have been inspired to write about relationships.  Maybe it’s a sign that I should be a Relationship Coach?  It’s the only explanation I can think of really because lately I seem to have the answers to everyone else’s relationship problems except mine!  Then again, it isn’t always a great idea to do the first thing that comes to mind right so let me stick to blogging and fitness for now.

The following deal breakers apply to both male and female so pay attention this might be the reason why one or some of your relationships have not worked out.

Poor Hygiene

I don’t know about you but personally if the person who is supposedly pursuing me is not friends with taking a bath that might be an actual reason to go our separate ways.  I think that we should all love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies and that includes basic things like taking a bath, brushing your teeth, cutting your nails, flushing after yourself when you leave the toilet and wearing clean ironed clothes!!  It might sound basic on paper but some people couldn’t care less and go around looking like they just walked out of a maize field and expect to get a partner looking like that?

Inability To Spend

Now before you raise your eyebrows I am not talking about a man spending money on a woman.  I am talking about an individual spending money on THEMSELVES.  This right here is an actual cause of concern because if you are not occasionally spoiling yourself with the finer things what are the chances of you doing the same for a partner if you end up with one?  However, this can work either way because one may not necessarily spend on themselves but will spend on their partner…BUT it’s very rare that this happens; it’s complicated really.

Drive & Ambition

Show me a woman(man) who doesn’t want a man with a plan and I will show you a liar!  As you get older relationships become less of “Let’s see how this goes” and more of “What’s the plan between us”.  By plan I don’t mean a couple getting marriage which is a great idea by the way.  In this case I mean a plan to work together and encourage each other to reach personal and couple goals.  A plan for what your day, weekend, month or year together will look like.  Nothing brings a yawn fest as much as having a partner who has no plan whatsoever for the team.  Remember a relationship is a team effort and if you are the only one driving the team you will get tired and that right there will be the beginning of many problems to come.  I once had a conversation with a friend who told me that in order for people to have less stress in relationships they should try and pair up with people who “mirror them”.  Loosely translated to be with someone who has dreams, aspirations and the same energy as you do that way you will be team players and not have a situation of a pilot and a passenger in the relationship.

Dishonesty

This has to be the biggest deal breaker for me.  If you are in a relationship feelings change for the worst or the best and that is perfectly okay.  It is always best to communicate how you feel about the next person because even though some of the honesty might hurt it saves a couple time.  For example, if you fall out of love with someone don’t keep quiet about it and hope things will change.  Sometimes all you need to do is talk about it with your partner and find ways to bring back the fire.  If that fails then do the adult thing and break up amicably.  Most people choose to keep quiet about how they feel and end up cheating and hurting more people than necessary in the process.  If you are about this relationship business then you have to start getting your communication skills in tip top shape.

We were all brought up differently and when you get into a relationship this is the first thing you need to remind yourself.  What might be perfectly normal to you might be foreign to the next person.  You have to be patient and get to learn what you are both about but it doesn’t mean you have to stay on if you are unhappy.  Your happiness comes first and after you have tried everything to try and blend in it’s fine to walk away and take care of yourself.

These are the four main deal breakers for me.  What are yours?

I know I didn’t add cheating but it’s so cliche everyone says they won’t tolerate cheating but most people end up putting up with it when they find out but that’s a story for a completely different day.

Today, let’s talk about what will stop you from dating that one person you have your eye on?

©MaKupsy 2017

A List Of Things I Can’t Stand

A list of things that I really can not stand and things that grate on my nerves:

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  • That long pinky nail that some men keep.  The other day I saw a guy who actually had nail polish on that finger.  Imagine the shock on my face!
  • People who leave hair on the soap bar, that is beyond revolting.  What in the world are you thinking leaving your hair on there, that might be your pubic hair you expect the next person to pluck out of that bar of soap.  Have some regard for others!
  • I can’t deal with people who shout over the phone.  Like what ever happened to speaking?
  • People who chew bubble gum, especially professional people.  There is this colleague of mine all suited up, attending to customers and chewing bubble gum, for the why?
  • Poor Customer Service that one really has me all worked up.  If I am paying for a service I expect to get great service otherwise me and my hard earned money are leaving.
  • Gossip.  Okay fine, I am guilty of gossiping as well but you don’t want to hang out with people who gossip all the time.  There are so many things to talk about that are actually productive and life changing.  How about we try that for a change?
  • Parents who put weaves on their toddlers. WHY???
  • Parents who do not cut their children’s nails.  I have seen countless toddlers with dirty nails.  Can the parents not see that their children need to get their nails cut?  Imagine all that dirt stuck in the child’s nails.  When they eventually eat all those germs will dig into their food and straight into their mouths.  It is unhygienic and untidy!
  • Parents who assist their children in bunking after school activities like swimming.  You are only disadvantaging your child, allow him or her to be an all rounder if need be, they will need it in the future.
  • Parents who watch their children throw tantrums in public places and do nothing about it.
  • Sweat.  People walk in and out of my office on a daily basis.  There is this one particular customer who will be wreaking of sweat at 8am. ((Like what the actual fuck?))  I understand we all sweat but what’s your story so early in the morning?  Now I keep air freshener at my desk specifically for eliminating early morning body odour. YUCK!
  • People who go on about how they were in the first team of some sport when we were back in senior school.  Honestly, that was close to a decade ago.  Let’s celebrate current achievements please.
  • Holier than though individuals.  We all know these; they act like they have never done a questionable thing all their life.  Judgmental much?
  • People who are too much.  I don’t know how to best describe them.  Say…once they start helping you with something they want to tell you how to do everything.  Or when they tell you about a movie they spoil it for you by telling you every single bit of that movie.
  • People who burp in your presence and not excuse themselves.  How do you just continue to eat or talk after making such a sound in my face, just tell me how??
  • Inconsiderate people.  Too many times I have seen people standing in line and not giving a pregnant woman or an elderly person the chance to go ahead of the queue.  That could be you one day you know and besides it is only considerate to let them go ahead and get on with their day.
  • Public transport.  I really should buy my own car soon.  The whole hassle of bunching up in a minibus is just too much.  And the music they play can be such a drag especially if you don’t listen to that particular genre and lastly the toddlers who keep stepping on your clothes with the mother acting like she can’t see it.  I NEED A MIRACLE IN THE CAR DEPARTMENT!!!
  • Nosy Parkers. ( I prefer calling them Nosy Fuckers)  Always wanting to know your business, what you are up to, who you are doing, why you are doing it.  Get a grip and live your life.
  • People who are full of themselves.  I already am full of myself so we can’t all be like that, who will notice the other? HAHAHA. On a serious note being vain is not good look,
  • Unexpected Visitors; it’s a NO for me.
  • Lazy people. Get up and do something!
  • People who drag their feet…Pick up your feet and walk properly already!
  • People who always try to ruin a perfect moment. ( I like to call them Kill Joys)  For example, you send them a picture of a mutual friend all happy with their new partner.  Next thing they start bad mouthing them instead of just being happy. Geez
  • Weddings.  They drag on and on and on.  For that reason I have only attended two weddings to date.  Let’s just get to the fun part please I don’t like things that go on forever.
  • Internet bullying…I shall dig deeper into this at some point this year.
  • Whatsapp.  This has completely run it’s course in my life, once my Whatsapp bundles expire I am leaving that platform.
  • People who write endless whatsapp status messages going on and on about what their partner has done for them.  Enough already, we get the point.  Or maybe I am just jealous?  We will never know…
  • And finally I can’t stand my own handwriting.  It has gone from bad to worse to terrible over the past few years.  I don’t even call it a handwriting anymore.  Words fail me. LOL

MaKupsy