Social Media & Dating

Social media has taken relationships to a whole new level.  Now you get to publicly share your private and intimate moments that you indulge in with your significant other. It’s interesting to watch couples in love, swooning all over each other and posting selfies with on social media with cute captions.  However, I have mixed feelings when it comes to publicising who you are dating on social media platforms for the following reasons:

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Image from Pinterest

Pros

  1. When you are in love you want the whole world to know and it’s only normal to want your social media friends to share your happiness.
  2. When you post your significant other people will know they are taken and *hopefully* stay away.
  3. Posting your significant other is also a sign of confidence in who you are dating.

Cons

  1. If you need to conceal your significant other from the world then what the heck are the two of you doing together? Please note there is a difference between being private and being a big secret.
  2. Most people on social media have a sense of entitlement. They feel that just because you share pictures with your significant other they now have the right to know intimate details of your relationship; people prying and needing to know why a couple broke up.  I have been guilty of this myself at some point in my life.  It’s not a good trait, we should learn to mind our own business…then again, people make it our business!
  3. You can’t help but feel like you have to live up to social media expectations because people now expect to see demonstrations and expressions of your love on special occasions. Take a birthday for instance, people want to see what you get on your special day and if your significant other is really #BaeGoals or not (feel free to Google that hash tag).  Talk about pressure!
  4. Some people are attracted to someone who is already taken…need I say more?
  5. Imagine posting your significant other every single day on social media and then one day you break up and you have close to 100 pictures of them all over your online space. The stress of deleting each picture one by one is something I shudder to imagine.
  6. You can’t express your opinions about relationships in peace without people thinking you are talking about your significant other. You can’t even join the #MenAreTrash movement because we will quickly assume your man is trash too! L.O.L

Ever noticed how people with money don’t make noise about it?  Take Strive Masiyiwa for example, the man is a whole millionaire but you don’t hear ad nauseum about his success or how he spends his millions. I think it the same applies to couples who are genuinely in love.  They keep it classy, you know they are dating, they share pictures yes but they keep it to a minimum and you actually look forward to their social media posts.

Then there is this one guy whose name I shall not care to mention but brags about his financial status on social media platforms like, come on!  I mean dude, you have money, we get it but why do you feel the need to tell us ALL about your life in a bag of chips?  Gosh, is he annoying or what?!  These are my sentiments about couples who over-share on social media.  Why do you find it necessary to bombard people with posts about your significant other every other hour telling us how great your relationship is going? Sometimes I can’t help but feel that people like that feel inadequate and are seeking validation, then again that’s just me.

Showcasing your love on social media is just like having a wedding.  Some will be happy for you, others will not be amused and the rest might wish you misfortune.  BUT that doesn’t mean people should stop getting married because people will receive the news differently.  Love should be celebrated whenever it can be! – Batanai Tuwe

What are your thoughts on the subject?  Do you share pictures of your significant other on social media platforms?  If yes, how is that going for you so far?  If not, what’s the reason behind it?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Marriage Is A Journey

Marriage is a journey.  I know this because I read it on the news feed of one of my favourite couples on Facebook.  I randomly stalk their page and each time I do so there is always something inspirational and heartwarming.  Today this is what I bumped into.

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Cynthia & Her Husband Sean

Marriage is like buying a second hand car. What attracted you to it was probably the shiny paint, the interior, the sound system etc, and it felt like a “new car” to you.
You then bought the car , entered into a relationship with it to start your own car journey experience. Your journey with the “new car” was an adventure as you began finding out things you never knew existed! 


You set off to go on your journey which is 1500 miles away, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the journey will be worth it! A third into your journey you hear a weird sound and you smell  something that wasn’t there before you can’t put your finger on it but you know something isn’t right!


You’re at a strange place with a now strange car and you’re faced with a dilemma!
1. Do you get the car checked out, fixed so you can continue on your journey? Or…..
2. Do you accept it as a loss, abort the journey forfeit your destination and find your way back to where you started? 


Marriage is a journey…


It’s an adventure, quite exciting and exhilarating at the beginning, but then the going will get tough at some point, you begin to see characteristics you never knew existed, you get disappointed, you feel let down, angry  feel like throwing in the towel.  You feel like it’s easier to just get a brand new car, but even those break down at some point too, so what will happen then??


You get to know your car  you get it fixed, you continue with the journey, it will be an experience, your own adventure, embrace it, focus on your destination!! It’ll be worth it.
Marriage is not for quitters, neither is it for the faint hearted!

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Cynthia is a Gym Addict and you can find her on Instagram where she always posts some mouth watering food and you can also find her on Facebook ,where she shares her fitness workouts.

Are you married?  If yes, what are some of the marriage nuggets you have to share?  Feel free to drop your thoughts in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

Dare To Believe!

I have been keeping a journal for as long as I remember, the idea started when I was in senior school around age 14.  It has stuck with me over the years but lately I don’t make entries as often as I used to because  blogging has taken over the greater part of my life.   My handwriting has slowly become pathetic over the years so I quickly lost interest in the journal life.

I was doing some tidying up a few days ago and bumped into an old journal from 2006.  I have no idea where I got this entry from but I felt I needed to share it with my fellow bloggers.  Please note these are not my words, if anyone has any idea where this piece is from please let me know.

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Image from Pinterest

You can’t be all things to all people.  You cant do all things at once.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else. Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.  You have to decide what must come first and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.  You have to learn not to compete with others.

Because no one else is in contest of “being you”.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.  You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.  You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

DARE TO BELIEVE:

That you are a wonderful, unique person.  That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.  That life if not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And you’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.

“In prayer; expect setbacks, but refuse retreat.”

Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!!

©MaKupsy 2017

I Found My Purpose

I never really wanted a lot of things badly enough.  I could like something alright but really want and need it was a different story.  I went through the greater part of my life having a luke warm attitude towards a lot of things until one fateful day.  The day I went for my regular medical examinations and hopped on the scale to reveal how I had gone from being fat to obese was a life changing moment.  It was at that very moment that I decided I was going to do everything in my power to do something about the excess weight I was carrying around.  I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.  Why is this important to note?  Well, when I was full term and a few days before giving birth to my baby girl I was 85kgs so you can imagine the horror!  It was time to get up and do something!

I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.

With no money to subscribe for gym membership I was left to my own devices.  I decided running would be my best bet since it was free and all I needed was myself.  The first days were hard and I power walked through the most of the distances I had set out for myself.  After weeks  of pushing myself I eventually ran for longer without stopping and I got all the motivation to keep going…I haven’t stopped running since.

I did not have much information to work with when it came to my eating habits so I simply worked with what other people were trying out.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night and sending a message to my friend telling her how hunger was stopping me from sleeping.  I had adopted a diet where I ate a very heavy breakfast, sometimes it even had sadza, a heavy-ish lunch and close to nothing but a glass of water and fruit for supper.  The scale was not moving, I was unhappy, I was hungry.  It was only after reading an article on the internet that I realised that I was doing myself more harm than good and started learning the art of preparing healthy balanced meals.  That was one of the best things that ever happened to me!

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I am going to be the first NikeWoman from Zimbabwe 🙂

Running got much more fun.  I had set out distances to try out and each time I managed to run through them.  My goal was to run 10K and if I could do that I would have officially accomplished the biggest goal in my life.  It did happen and it was just as I had pictured it.  From thereon I started challenging myself to run not just longer but faster and the hobby slowly became an addiction.  When I started I showcased my fitness journey on social media.  I knew I would have no choice but to show up come rain(in every sense of the word) or shine because my followers would be expecting to see my progress.

I switched things up and added Zumba, Yoga, NRC Workouts, Aerobics, Swimming and Tennis.  I realised that running alone was going to get boring at some point so the more activities I included the better variety to choose from.  I was bubbly, stronger, happier, fit and lean.  I did all this from the comfort of my home and never had to part with a single dime to reach my desired goal.  I have bumped into friends from College who can’t believe I haven’t changed at all because I am physically the same person.  If only they knew how much change that has taken place mentally as well.  I am a completely different person now.

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With family and social media followers starting to compliment on my progress I felt the need to to work harder.  When I realised the impact my journey had on people around me I created a WhatsApp group which has turned into a movement termed #RunWithFitnessBae.  At the beginning of the year it was trending because of a Fitness Challenge I had planned and organised.  The movement has participants from different parts of the world but mostly Africa.  I have taken the movement from WhatsApp to Facebook, Blogging and Instagram.  As it stands I am currently the only Zimbabwean Fitness Blogger and I create fresh content each week!

It brings me so much joy to know that even though my fitness journey was mainly pushed by a case of depression; the fruits that have come from it have actually created a passion and purpose that I could have never imagined.  I have managed to inspire people across the globe; especially mothers, to exercise and get back to their pre-pregnancy bodies.  Those who have come into contact with me have become better not only physically but emotionally as well.

I am a woman on a mission to make the most of every opportunity life throws at me.  I believe everyone can exercise for the body that they want and if you can not afford the gym there is no excuse not to get fit.  I am a living example of what park runs can do for you.  I am currently 74kgs and I have never had to part with a single dollar to lose weight.  I have been through it all, the fad diets, the hoping for miracle weight loss, the drinking fruit juice all day but at the end of the day what I have learnt is that you have to eat right, exercise and be patient.  The results will come, just make small changes everyday and you will be amazed at what your body can do.

If you would like to talk to someone about weight loss or weight management then I am the person for you.  If you would like to be a part of the current Winter Challenge feel free to join us, all the more competition for the team.

Never give up on what you truly want, it’s not everyday that people get to find out what it is that fires their soul!

I found my purpose.  The one thing that makes me get up in the morning and look forward to starting the day.  The one thing I dream of, the one thing I get excited talking about, the one thing that keeps me up at night writing up ideas and chewing up my data while I do research on the internet.  The one thing that I can’t live without.  I think, eat, dream, live fitness.  I am Fitness Bae.

I have a series coming up on Tuesday 18 July, be sure to log onto my Fitness Blog and subscribe.

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©MaKupsy 2017

 

Take Time To Unpack

School days are the best days of your life?  I think not!  I remember the year, 1993 it was sometime before Christmas.  My parents told me that I could write up a list of friends I would invite over for a party and I was delighted.  I used to have a birthday celebration each year but it was always with my siblings and hardly ever with my friends so you can imagine the excitement.  A few days later I was informed that we were going to Marondera and I didn’t read much into it.  My grandmother stayed there and we visited her often so for me it was just another trip to see Gogo(grandmother).  I was wrong, we were moving and no one even cared to tell me.

It was only when we arrived in Marondera and we didn’t go to Gogo’s place that I realised that something was amiss.  I was shown our new home and what was going to be my new bedroom and I was not amused.  You see, when we were in Chinhoyi the house we stayed in was tripple the size of the one I saw before my eyes.  The neighbourhood was completely different, I knew no one except my cousins who stayed I didn’t even know where because we met when we all went to Gogo’s place.  I was devastated.  I actually cried buckets and told my parents I wanted to go back to Chinhoyi and be with my friends, my school and everything that I was familiar with.  Mothers back then didn’t take tantrums lightly and my mother would whoop my ass for being dramatic.  I cried myself to sleep so many nights, I missed my friends.  I missed home.

I had to attend a new school and as you can imagine I felt like an outsider.  Making friends was a real mission.  I loved sport, I could swim and play tennis but I didn’t make it to the team because the school already had their set of students they had already “chosen”.  I remember taking up hockey instead and I struck some luck there and ended up being in the team.  Even after trying to make friends through sport people didn’t seem to like me.  I was bullied and secluded.  The one time all the girls in my class called for a meeting and sat me down.  I don’t remember what it was about but I remember walking home in tears and wishing I would either go back to Chinhoyi or die.  Children can be really cruel and to date I don’t understand why they treated me that way.

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Image from Google

At home my father never wanted me to leave the house.  I was always under lock and key.  The only time I was allowed to play outside the gate was when I went out to ride my bicycle.  That was one of my favourite things to do.  A few weeks after we moved my bicycle was stolen and I was left with nothing else to do with my time.  Eventually I was allowed to go and play with children my age but only till a certain time of day then it was back to being under lock and key.

I still have memories of having to sit outside during break time by myself because the other girls were “punishing me”.  Was it because they had already established who their friends were and I was messing up things for them by being the newbie?  Was it because I loved to take part in sporting activities?  Was it because I didn’t know anything about the town?  I had and still have so many questions because I can’t imagine why people would have such a strong feeling of dislike of someone they really didn’t know.

I never looked forward to going to school.  I hated every minute of it.  I remember telling my parents about what was happening but they brushed it off.  There were a lot of incidents that happened that I won’t dwell on because as it is I am typing this and crying at the same time, the wounds are resurfacing all over again!  I grew up telling myself that once I am done with school I am never coming back to Marondera if it’s the last thing I do.  I hate that place, it has so many unpleasant memories.  Each time I travel and I start feeling home sick it’s not Marondera I will be thinking of, I will be thinking of my home here in Harare.  It was only yesterday that it dawned on me that this is the reason I never enjoy my visits to Marondera, the place haunts me…

 

©MaKupsy 2016

My Sleep Paralysis Experience

Sleep paralysis happened to me once before when I was still in College.  It did not give me too much of a fright.  I brushed it off as something that happens to everyone in this lifetime.  However, the year 2013 gave me such chills I have never forgotten the experience to date.  It happened sometime in winter, those two incidents have stuck in my memory bank all this time and nothing will probably shake it off, just writing about it is actually starting to make my heart beat very fast.  This is my sleep paralysis experience…

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Image from Pinterest

It had been a long day and all I wanted to do that evening was take my evening bath and get some rest.  I remember fixing a hot water bottle and making sure my apartment was securely locked and all lights were switched off.  (I am extremely sensitive to light so I sleep in complete darkness.)  Within minutes I had dozed off to la la land.  I rarely dream, or maybe I just forget the dreams because they are probably not that interesting but on this particular night I felt a presence in my apartment.  I wasn’t sure if I was asleep or awake but I lay as still as a log to make sure whatever that had entered would leave without noticing me.  All my doors were locked and closed but from my bed I could see through the walls and I saw a dark shadow move from the entrance to my apartment all the way to my bedroom.  I could not make out the face of the shadow but it had an outline of a woman.  The shadow came right next to my bedside and started moving down towards me.  Petrified does not even begin to explain what I was feeling at that moment, I was unable to move or scream for help.  The shadow kept coming closer and closer, it felt like it was trying to suck the life out of me, I saw the hollow outline of a wide open mouth and my eyes nearly popped out of my sockets!  I started screaming for help but in my attempts I could tell that I was screaming but no sound was coming out of my mouth.  I was paralysed and could not do anything; I honestly thought I was going to die right there and then.  I started to say the Lord’s Prayer over and over again and just before the shadow had completely enveloped me I woke up!  I was sweating, panting and crying all at the same time, I didn’t understand if I had been awake or asleep but whatever the case was I had no intentions of staying at home after such an experience, I checked the time, it was 1am and I had to go somewhere, anywhere but home…

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Image from Pinterest

You would think after such an experience sleep paralysis would never occur anytime soon right? Wrong!  Just a few days after that incident I had another bad “dream”.  I was being chased by a woman through the woods.  I was running as fast as my feet could carry me but this woman kept coming for me.  I ended up in a graveyard.  There were men at work digging up a grave but I was puzzled why they were doing so because it was late at night.  I called out to them to help me but it seemed they could not hear me.  I tried to hide from the woman chasing me. There were several tombstones in sight and thought she would not see me if I was behind them. It was pointless because they kept crumbling down each time I went behind any one of them.  I started feeling tired and I was running slower now and before I knew what was happening one of the graves I stepped on started giving in and I was being swallowed into the ground!  I kept screaming for help to no avail and as I was being swallowed in I found myself falling right onto my bed and feeling an uninvited presence pulling me from underneath my bed.  This time around I could not move, scream or say a prayer, I just felt tears streaming down my eyes.  I remember hearing a knock on my door but it felt so faint.  Within minutes it kept getting louder and I somehow managed to wake up and rush to the door.  The moment I heard a female voice from the other side of the door I screamed the place down and woke up.  Almost everyone in the apartment building was alarmed and the woman on the other side kept asking if I was okay and if I should open the door.  I simply said I was okay and she explained that she had not been knocking on my door but on my neighbour’s door.  I didn’t open my door and went back to my bedroom.  I looked at the time.  1am!

That week was probably the worst week of my life.  I had a friend who worked by a 24 hour food outlet and I had to go and sit and chat with him or sometimes just sit in the shop and play on my phone.  I needed a distraction, something, anything that would stop me from experiencing another sleep paralysis incident. I remember bumping into my friend Larry on one of the random days.  We were both grabbing pizza at the food outlet and I am sure he was puzzled as to why I was getting food at around 2am.  I was sleep deprived for an entire week, going to bed was my biggest nightmare.  I didn’t know what to do to make it go away but it eventually did go away after popping some sleeping tablets and then having trouble sleeping without taking them, the vicious cycle!

I did get back to sleeping soundly and I have not experienced another sleep paralysis incident.  However, I did learn that sleeping alone might be a great thing but can be a great disadvantage when things like this happen.  It got me thinking that I could actually die in my sleep and no one would know until days later.  It also got me thinking that when you are scared out of your mind it would be nice to actually have someone to cuddle up to and probably have them wake you up when they hear that you are experiencing some form of disturbed sleep and cut your horrific experience short!

I am curious to hear from you, have you experienced sleep paralysis at any point in your life?  If yes, how did you deal with it?  Please share tips, I am sure they will help a soul or two.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Would You Take Your Ex Back?

Yes, I am guilty of getting back with one okay maybe two ex boyfriends in the past with the hope that things will work out and we will live happily ever after.  However, over time I have come to the conclusion that it might not be the best for me, I should simply let bygones be bygones and here are my reasons why;

  • The same things we argued about before we broke up were the same reasons we fought over after getting back together.
  • People don’t change, we broke up with a certain ex because he wasn’t faithful, and after trying again he was still unfaithful.
  • I value my health and in this day and age of HIV/Aids one can’t be taking risks on their health.  You don’t know where your ex has been and what they have been up to the time you were apart and taking them back might just risk your health.
  • Someone takes advantage of you the moment they realise you keep taking them back even after they have hurt you.
  • Physical abuse is not a pleasant experience and I will never again be associated with anyone who puts his hands on me.  Not only is it physically damaging it also affects you emotionally.
  • I don’t want them thinking they have a hold on me!
  • There is a high chance you will break up again anyway.

But wait… it has worked out pretty well for other people, I just have been the unfortunate one.  Those who have rekindled their love after breaking up share these thoughts:

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Photo Credit: Luwy Kay(Facebook) & her boyfriend, are they just not adorable!! 🙂

We were both financially unstable and separated by distance.  We decided to break up and when we were both in the same country we would give our love another try and years later we got married and have a beautiful baby together.

 

The love and connection we felt for each other was stronger than anything we had felt before and close to 20 years later we got back together and started a family.

 

He wanted to get married, I wanted to focus on my career.  We wanted different things and decided to break up.  After I finished University I bumped into him at the Mall and we got back to talking.  We will be moving in to an apartment we chose together a few months ago. 🙂

You know what they say about life?  It sure is full of surprises!  What might not work for you will work wonders for the next person.  Some people got their happy ending and well, the rest of us are on that  “do not let an ex be the reason you don’t move on and find happiness and true love” tip!  In my opinion once you say your goodbyes that must be enough to let you know that chapter of your life is closed.

Let’s talk about taking back your ex lover.  Have you tried it before?  How did that work out for you?

©MaKupsy 2017

Adele – Someone Like You

Love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience in this lifetime if it’s reciprocal.  However, if you are one of the unlucky few who got served a huge dose of unrequited love you will know exactly how much pain can come from it.

Thankfully over the years I have had the chance to reflect and take note of some of the mistakes I made in the past where love was concerned.  In the past I have paired myself up with people who actually did not love or care about me.  I saw the signs and chose to ignore them.  A slight sign of concern was automatically mistaken for love.  For me love had to make my heart go pitter patter, lose my senses, lose sleep and have me going through extremes of happiness and sadness.  That was clearly a lot to take in in the name of love.

I used to be a bitter woman, I was mad at the world.  Mad that I loved someone who did not see all the things I did in the name of love.  More than anything I was mad at myself for not seeing something was not good for me and simply walking away when I still had the chance to do so.

I am happy to say that what I view love to be has completely changed.  For me love will not leave me close to feeling a panic attack, love will complete me, love will give me a warm, calm and confident feeling towards my partner.  I don’t think I still get butterflies, maybe it’s an age thing; but I certainly feel that this is right when I am with the perfect match.

I no longer feel anything towards the man who once shattered my heart to irreparable little pieces; I am indifferent towards him.  You will be surprised to note that this very song used to bring me to tears each time I listened to it but now I listen to it and recall that it used to be his favourite song.  Through it all in as much as things didn’t work out between us we had our happy moments.  They didn’t last but for the season they were supposed to they brought a smile to my face.

It’s important to take a step back whenever you get the chance to and find out where you go wrong.  It’s easy to sit down and blame the world for things going wrong in your life when most times you are the very source of your own pain.  You can’t choose who you love though you can try very hard to make sure you love someone who at least feels the same way about you.

I have made it my personal mission to continue to grow myself in love.  How?  By doing things that bring me joy, filling my days with happy moments, understanding that not everyone will understand the intensity that comes with me and above all else to keep learning and unlearning habits that might hinder my progress.  Not everyone will understand what I am about but the right one will know that I am amazing just the way I am.

We live yes, but how many of us actually take time to learn?  

 

 

 

©MaKupsy 2017

15 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

You are definitely one of the lucky few people on this planet if you have not gone through a heartbreak.  In my opinion the pain that comes with it is right there next to labour pains.  It is something you don’t want to experience more than once because the pain usually scars you for weeks, months and sometimes years to come.  I asked some of my favourite people on Twitter to share how they managed to get over a heartbreak and as always they didn’t disappoint!  I like to keep opinions anonymous so names are not mentioned.  Their healing processes and some of mine are in the list below.  Kick back, grab your notepad and fix yourself a strong cup of coffee you will want to keep this!

  1. Cry. Cry yourself to sleep, cry yourself through the day, cry each time you listen to that sappy song that reminds you of him, heck cry yourself a whole river!  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, crying will help wash away the pain.  Whatever you do, DO NOT internalise your emotions.
  2. Get high or die trying. Seriously.  Nothing makes you feel better like a good old smoke.  You are guaranteed of short term memory loss which is a good thing because you can focus on the feel good sensation and forget about your broken heart for a while.  Proven effects include joy, euphoria, contentedness and a care-free attitude!
  3. Cut contact, otherwise you will find yourself snooping on their social media this is very unhealthy.   I suggest you actually take a social media fast for the next 30 days in a bid to protect yourself.  The last thing you want to do is see your ex partner all loved up on Instagram.  That will actually do you more harm than good, heartbreak and social media are NOT friends!
  4. Get up under someone new.  Try this at your own risk.  An orgasm a day keeps the stress away.  Yes, I made that saying up but it’s a sure way to take your mind off your ex but just make sure whoever you decide to have sex with will actually shower you with multiple orgasms otherwise the whole act will be pointless and leave you frustrated.
  5. Listen to some music. Not the sappy sad stuff by the way. Something upbeat to lift up your spirits.
  6. Move to another place.  Try getting a job in a town hours away from your current location or better yet leave the entire country.  That way you can heal faster without any memory triggers.
  7. Keep yourself occupied. Spent time with friends, do your favourite things.  Try positive distractions such as going out and doing something fun especially something new. Amusement Park, dancing; getting out and not focusing or dwelling on the heartbreak.

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    Photo Credit: @tendai_angela (Instagram)

  8. Put yourself out there. You don’t have to rush into another relationship but just go on dates and feel wanted. It helps to not be lonely and also just for the confidence boost.
  9. Alcohol! , it numbs the pain.  Those who don’t drink can safely turn to ice-cream or comfort foods; hello calories!!  I have tried and tested this one and all I can say is that alcohol will fix the problem for that day but when you wake up sober all the pain will come rushing back.
  10. Accept that it’s over.  This is probably the most crucial point because without this you won’t be able to.  Accept it and do not be bitter, okay TRY very hard not to be bitter.
  11. Positive self talk and reflection.  Remind yourself it’s their loss and not yours. BUT also look at your contributions to the demise of your relationship.  Avoid self blame at all costs but focus on reflecting. This usually happens further down the road to mending your heartbreak.
  12. Let go completely.  You are not trying to do the whole “Oh we’re broken up but we’re cool and modern so we can be friends” – it just prolongs the pain! CUT TIES…Cut it, Cut it, Cut it, you need to cut it!!
  13. Be kind to yourself.  You will have days where you will be upset with the world.  It happens, embrace it.
  14. Time.  It mends the heart.  I know others believe getting straight into another relationship helps you get over another one. This is not everyone’s portion.  Avoid going from one mess straight into another.  That way when you say “I am over someone” you really over them. There are no comebacks.  Time is often under estimated; especially nowadays because everyone wants an instant fix. There is NO QUICK FIX for heartbreak. This is why we end up having relationships with broken people who haven’t healed from past mistakes. Be fair to the next person. Take your time, you do not heal overnight.
  15. Understand that heartbreak is a part of life.  Not just in romantic relationships but in life in general.  Lovers, friends and family will disappoint you so always be prepared to find a way to deal with it.  Learn from your experience and remember that you are not the first or the last one to experience this.  This too shall come to pass…

How have you dealt with heartbreak in the past?  How long did it take you to finally reach the point where you could bump into your ex and they will have zero effect on you?

Let’s talk about it, I would love to read your thoughts.

©MaKupsy 2017

Hello June, I’m Still Slaying!

Today I feel so good I have nothing but feel good hormones rushing through my veins!  Each year since 2015 I weigh myself on the 1st of June just to see if my weight has made any drastic change over the year.  I can safely say that in 3 straight years I have managed to maintain the same weight range.  Amazing how I am the exact same weight I was a year ago…

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S/O to Sammy for the beautiful poster 🙂

This year I have a plan for winter and I came up with a Winter Challenge that will be sure to keep the weight off.  Everyone is invited to take part it will be a lot of fun and you don’t want to miss out on this.  Today I took a before picture to use against my after picture once the 60 Day Challenge is complete.  I can’t believe my abs are disappearing before my eyes, I blame the white wine!  You can read the post I wrote last year same time below and get to see how far I have come on my health and fitness journey.  Those taking part in the challenge, good luck, it is NOT going to be easy.

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Winter is NOT my friend, look at that pouch 😦

1 June 2017: Weight 74.3kgs

1 June 2016: Weight 74.3kgs

1 June 2015 : Weight 74.9kgs

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Hello and good morning.  It’s a beautiful Wednesday and today I got off the scale with a huge smile on my face.  Can you believe that I have managed to maintain the same weight range in the space of a year.  I was actually surprised myself because given that I haven’t been running as often as I used to I would have thought I would have gained weight.  After posting this question on Twitter

experts have to help me with this one. I’m losing weight each week but I don’t run as much as I used to. What am I doing right?

Myk replied and said ” @MaKupsy running on a regular basis can temporarily increase your metabolism , which burns calories for energy.You’re still reaping the benefits”.

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June 2016

That said, it’s winter this part of the world and getting up in the morning to go for my run is becoming a lot harder.  I have been setting my alarm for 5:15am for the past two weeks and I have lounged in bed for an extra 15 minutes and then sometimes I have even decided to not go running at all because my bed will be warm and comfortable.

However, this week I have come up with a new strategy.  Instead of torturing myself by waking up early and actually not clocking in any runs I now just wake up when my internal cooperates.  Say today for example; I woke up at 6:15am.  I didn’t have time to even think about whether I felt like running or not.  I jumped out of bed, wore my running gear and left the house in a flash because time was not on my side but my run still had to be completed.  See, I can safely say that in winter I can work best under pressure because this alarm thing is certainly not working out.

I am also watching what I eat.  Thanks to this miserable weather I am feeling hungry most times and I told myself that if I don’t eat right and mind my portions I might end up gaining all the weight I have worked so hard on losing.  I am having fruits, vegetables, meat (minus beef I am not a fan of it AT ALL) extra small starch portions and drinking room temperature water because I simply can’t stomach cold water right now!

If you’re a runner what winter tips and tricks do you have that you have tried and tested?

©MaKupsy 2017