Adele – Someone Like You

Love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience in this lifetime if it’s reciprocal.  However, if you are one of the unlucky few who got served a huge dose of unrequited love you will know exactly how much pain can come from it.

Thankfully over the years I have had the chance to reflect and take note of some of the mistakes I made in the past where love was concerned.  In the past I have paired myself up with people who actually did not love or care about me.  I saw the signs and chose to ignore them.  A slight sign of concern was automatically mistaken for love.  For me love had to make my heart go pitter patter, lose my senses, lose sleep and have me going through extremes of happiness and sadness.  That was clearly a lot to take in in the name of love.

I used to be a bitter woman, I was mad at the world.  Mad that I loved someone who did not see all the things I did in the name of love.  More than anything I was mad at myself for not seeing something was not good for me and simply walking away when I still had the chance to do so.

I am happy to say that what I view love to be has completely changed.  For me love will not leave me close to feeling a panic attack, love will complete me, love will give me a warm, calm and confident feeling towards my partner.  I don’t think I still get butterflies, maybe it’s an age thing; but I certainly feel that this is right when I am with the perfect match.

I no longer feel anything towards the man who once shattered my heart to irreparable little pieces; I am indifferent towards him.  You will be surprised to note that this very song used to bring me to tears each time I listened to it but now I listen to it and recall that it used to be his favourite song.  Through it all in as much as things didn’t work out between us we had our happy moments.  They didn’t last but for the season they were supposed to they brought a smile to my face.

It’s important to take a step back whenever you get the chance to and find out where you go wrong.  It’s easy to sit down and blame the world for things going wrong in your life when most times you are the very source of your own pain.  You can’t choose who you love though you can try very hard to make sure you love someone who at least feels the same way about you.

I have made it my personal mission to continue to grow myself in love.  How?  By doing things that bring me joy, filling my days with happy moments, understanding that not everyone will understand the intensity that comes with me and above all else to keep learning and unlearning habits that might hinder my progress.  Not everyone will understand what I am about but the right one will know that I am amazing just the way I am.

We live yes, but how many of us actually take time to learn?  

 

 

 

©MaKupsy 2017

15 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

You are definitely one of the lucky few people on this planet if you have not gone through a heartbreak.  In my opinion the pain that comes with it is right there next to labour pains.  It is something you don’t want to experience more than once because the pain usually scars you for weeks, months and sometimes years to come.  I asked some of my favourite people on Twitter to share how they managed to get over a heartbreak and as always they didn’t disappoint!  I like to keep opinions anonymous so names are not mentioned.  Their healing processes and some of mine are in the list below.  Kick back, grab your notepad and fix yourself a strong cup of coffee you will want to keep this!

  1. Cry. Cry yourself to sleep, cry yourself through the day, cry each time you listen to that sappy song that reminds you of him, heck cry yourself a whole river!  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, crying will help wash away the pain.  Whatever you do, DO NOT internalise your emotions.
  2. Get high or die trying. Seriously.  Nothing makes you feel better like a good old smoke.  You are guaranteed of short term memory loss which is a good thing because you can focus on the feel good sensation and forget about your broken heart for a while.  Proven effects include joy, euphoria, contentedness and a care-free attitude!
  3. Cut contact, otherwise you will find yourself snooping on their social media this is very unhealthy.   I suggest you actually take a social media fast for the next 30 days in a bid to protect yourself.  The last thing you want to do is see your ex partner all loved up on Instagram.  That will actually do you more harm than good, heartbreak and social media are NOT friends!
  4. Get up under someone new.  Try this at your own risk.  An orgasm a day keeps the stress away.  Yes, I made that saying up but it’s a sure way to take your mind off your ex but just make sure whoever you decide to have sex with will actually shower you with multiple orgasms otherwise the whole act will be pointless and leave you frustrated.
  5. Listen to some music. Not the sappy sad stuff by the way. Something upbeat to lift up your spirits.
  6. Move to another place.  Try getting a job in a town hours away from your current location or better yet leave the entire country.  That way you can heal faster without any memory triggers.
  7. Keep yourself occupied. Spent time with friends, do your favourite things.  Try positive distractions such as going out and doing something fun especially something new. Amusement Park, dancing; getting out and not focusing or dwelling on the heartbreak.

    86b8f78f-7689-4477-9442-a57ab694777b.jpg
    Photo Credit: @tendai_angela (Instagram)
  8. Put yourself out there. You don’t have to rush into another relationship but just go on dates and feel wanted. It helps to not be lonely and also just for the confidence boost.
  9. Alcohol! , it numbs the pain.  Those who don’t drink can safely turn to ice-cream or comfort foods; hello calories!!  I have tried and tested this one and all I can say is that alcohol will fix the problem for that day but when you wake up sober all the pain will come rushing back.
  10. Accept that it’s over.  This is probably the most crucial point because without this you won’t be able to.  Accept it and do not be bitter, okay TRY very hard not to be bitter.
  11. Positive self talk and reflection.  Remind yourself it’s their loss and not yours. BUT also look at your contributions to the demise of your relationship.  Avoid self blame at all costs but focus on reflecting. This usually happens further down the road to mending your heartbreak.
  12. Let go completely.  You are not trying to do the whole “Oh we’re broken up but we’re cool and modern so we can be friends” – it just prolongs the pain! CUT TIES…Cut it, Cut it, Cut it, you need to cut it!!
  13. Be kind to yourself.  You will have days where you will be upset with the world.  It happens, embrace it.
  14. Time.  It mends the heart.  I know others believe getting straight into another relationship helps you get over another one. This is not everyone’s portion.  Avoid going from one mess straight into another.  That way when you say “I am over someone” you really over them. There are no comebacks.  Time is often under estimated; especially nowadays because everyone wants an instant fix. There is NO QUICK FIX for heartbreak. This is why we end up having relationships with broken people who haven’t healed from past mistakes. Be fair to the next person. Take your time, you do not heal overnight.
  15. Understand that heartbreak is a part of life.  Not just in romantic relationships but in life in general.  Lovers, friends and family will disappoint you so always be prepared to find a way to deal with it.  Learn from your experience and remember that you are not the first or the last one to experience this.  This too shall come to pass…

How have you dealt with heartbreak in the past?  How long did it take you to finally reach the point where you could bump into your ex and they will have zero effect on you?

Let’s talk about it, I would love to read your thoughts.

©MaKupsy 2017

Album Review : While I Was Away (Prayersoul)

Music is the art of thinking with sounds. – Jules Combarieu

19074880_301242363654797_809233050_o.jpg
Prayersoul

I had made one too many promises to attend one of Prayersoul’s events but last Friday I told myself that come what may I was going to go and watch his live performance.  The venue was well laid out with a comfortable sitting area, drinks that were reasonably priced and a bonfire to keep us warm because winter nights are not being very friendly at the moment. (well thought out if you ask me) Prayersoul was interactive with the intimate crowd throughout his performance.  That makes a world of difference because not only did he get to play his music he also took time to share his story with his biggest fans.  I found that to be one of the outstanding things about the whole show.  I got myself a copy of his new album While I Was Away and I could not wait to get home and have a listen.  Attending this do was my highlight of the week, I didn’t regret it at all.  It was a beautiful experience and you should have been there!

19104963_301242416988125_1290936778_o.jpg

While I Was Away is Prayersoul’s Second Album.  The NeoSoul musician released his 10 Track album early this year.  The album genre is mainly NeoSoul but it has a blend of a lot of African Nuances in percussion, guitars, rhythm, and vernacular lyrics in most songs but clearly all soulful.  I listened to his album all weekend long and I must say, I was not disappointed.

I already have not one but four favourite tracks from his album and you should have a listen.

Track 3: Uxolo

This was a pleasant surprise.  I didn’t realise that Prayersoul was a Bulawayo boy! Nothing wins me as much as listening in to music that has vernacular lyrics.  English is alright no doubt but vernacular always brings the message home.  In this track he sings about forgiveness.

Track 4 : Million Reasons

My mind went back in time.  It reminded me of the days when love was honest, pure, no games and you were not afraid to be vulnerable.  Remember that time you could sit down with your partner and count the many ways why they meant the world to you?  We are now living in times where you have to extremely guard your heart because you have no idea what the next person’s intentions are.  This is something a lot of people can relate to, when you get your hands on his album make sure this is one of the first tracks you listen to.

Track 5: Go

Screaming!!! The moment I listened to this my mind went straight to Zumba.  It has a Samba feel to it.  I have added it to my running playlist.  I already have a mental image of what the music video would look like.  Women in short dresses, men in tight pants and shirts unbuttoned down to reveal their chests, everyone sweating from all the dancing, smokey room by the beach and some men seated and enjoying the music while smoking some cigars!!  It will be a great setup to go with this track that was clearly made for dancing.

19141483_301242360321464_501600335_n
Prayersoul

After listening to this album one three many times and obviously annoying the heck out of my neighbours I finally got a chance to read through his shout outs.  What pulled at my heart strings was his last shout out that he gave to his wife, Nadine.  You know how they say you always save the best for last…It is beautiful to watch couples celebrate and support each other especially on a creative journey that a lot of people do not understand.

Thanks to attending his live show I got to find out a few things I didn’t know about Prayersoul.

  • He writes his own songs.
  • His favourite social media space is Facebook.
  • He was born in Bulawayo.
  • He moved to Masvingo for High School and University education.
  • He plays a little bit of bass guitar and a bit of piano.
  • He has a BSc in Social Sciences.  When he was looking for a job he would occasionally perform and he started getting calls for his performances.  He never got a call for any of the CVs for his Degree.  He started getting paid for his performances and that became his job.
  • He facilitates for guitar lessons for age groups starting 4.5 years to as old as possible, watch his social media for details.
19048581_301242390321461_216907805_o.jpg
Prayersoul & MaKupsy 🙂

Upcoming Events…

Look out for promo events featuring Prayersoul at Chez Zandi , Organiks and a couple of Prayersoul launch concerts and these are mainly to connect with his fans before he travels out of the country.

You can keep in touch on any of his social media pages:

  1. Facebook
  2. Instagram
  3. Twitter
  4. www.prayersoul.com
19022595_301242400321460_385522762_o.jpg
my signed copy 🙂 USD5

This is my first album review and I can safely rate 8 out of 10 for While I Was Away.   You have to do yourself a favour and attend one of his events, his live performances are captivating.  You know I always recommend quality things and this album will be worth your money, trust me.  If you are looking for an album that will soothe your soul and take you to a happy place then you’re in luck!  Prayersoul is a talented man and I wish him all the beautiful things on his creative journey.  Keep making soulful music Mr Soul!

 

Prayersoul says the best advice he ever got when he was starting out on his journey was that you need to find out what makes you unique because everyone else is already doing the same thing that you are doing.  Find your Africanness! 

©MaKupsy 2017

Is This Your Enemy Of Progress?

I believe we all have that one thing that we know is an enemy of progress.  It can be laziness, lack of faith, that one ex who calls and suddenly has you thinking of taking them back, the love for money and even sex! Being an adult comes without a manual but through experience you get to know yourself better and realise when certain temptations hit all that progress you had made is about to come crumbling down…

51587abc68c59b1694c9c1d5ef9365cf.jpg
Image from Pinterest

My love for natural sweet white wine will be the death of me!  I just love it so much it may as well be my best friend.  Last year my poison was Vodka but it came with stomach cramps the next day.  I had an affair with red wine that didn’t last for long because I would have a splitting headache the next day.  I finally decided to try out white wine and I absolutely loved it!  I remember Chef Takura(single and very sexy but he has a beard so he isn’t a potential candidate) recommending it to me and it listening to him was the best decision I ever made.  The one thing I love about white wine is I usually have it from the comfort of my warm bed and just after two glasses I am off to la la land.  I prefer having it on the occasional weekend that way I don’t feel so guilty for indulging in something I know is an enemy of progress in the fitness department.  I have a bottle all weekend though, that’s much better than having 3 bottles during the course of a weekend, yes, no?  (trying to defend the error of my ways here)

94d020e6c83c380c0a7132f367134e31.jpg
Image from Pinterest

I have had days were my whole day has been mapped by the things I have read, seen or watched on social media.  There was a week when the #MenAreTrash hash tag was trending on almost all social media platforms.  It was the most heartbreaking week of my life.  The stories I read about what women go through left me feeling blue.  I remember sharing my own story on my timeline and after that all the negative thoughts and feelings from the past came back to haunt me.

The very same platforms that bear sad news also come with beautiful things such as travel, love, relationships all wrapped in one.  Now this stuff will make you wish you can order a partner just like the one you saw on Instagram!  Don’t do it to yourself, take it from me.  People will always show you the bright side of their lives and hardly ever the problems they are going through.  Next thing you will contemplate breaking up with your partner because they have not taken you for a surprise getaway weekend to Italy, you will die from stress o!  To make matters worse you can actually go an entire morning surfing through the internet giving yourself self inflicted stress.  This is why you should stick to reading blogs like mine instead, nothing but good times only here.  However, I have found a way to deal with this and that is by simply taking time off social media.  Spend your time on other fulfilling activities that will not leave you green with envy or constantly comparing your life with the next person. Remember that comparison will steal your joy.  Do not let this be your enemy of progress!

4f8ee7ce1e9983251780982720fc52fc.jpg
Image from Pinterest

Negative energy is real.  Ever noticed how some people just love to complain about any and everything and once you are done talking to them you wonder why you are feeling miserable.  I am one person who values their peace of mind.  There are so many things going wrong in our country that could easily send you straight to your death while you are asleep the last thing you need is spending time with a “Negative Nancy”.  I understand that we all have problems and sometimes all you want to do is vent and get someone else to listen to you.  That’s perfectly fine but it is NOT okay to vent for an entire day.  Do you have any idea how that drains the next person?  Please do not do it to your loved ones.  If you decide to vent by all means do so but with all the venting make sure you come up with a solution to the problem together and act on it.  No one wants to spend time with negative people, they steal your joy.  Next time someone tries to ruin your day remember that it is your right to protect your peace and you can politely tell them to take their negative energy elsewhere.

I would love to hear from you.  What are some of your enemies of progress and how do deal with them?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

Fitness In The Park : Africa Day

Hello and good morning; I hope your day has started off on a bright and beautiful note.  If you follow my blog you are well aware that I also have a Fitness Blog that you should check out when you have time.  Fitness is a huge part of my life and without it I probably would not have the amount of zeal I have for blogging.  The two make a perfect match.  This will be a fun read for you because it will take you less than 10 minutes to go through it, enjoy.

There is one main thing you can do when you have a break from work and that is rest.  I know a lot of people managed to do that yesterday but for some of us who can never get enough of exercise it was a chance to meet up with like minded people and get some activities going.  The start time was 9:00 am and that gave everyone enough time to get ready and possibly add an extra hour of sleep.  I had done an 8K run before the event so there was no way I was going to go for a run so instead I watched over our bags while everyone went for a short 2K run.

The agenda for the day was to complete the entire alphabet as a group for the Spell Your Name Challenge.  We really should have had someone take a video of this because the various forms people ended up doing were hilarious.  It looks easy to do on paper but a different story when you actually have to do it.  That’s the beauty of doing things in a group, you get to learn and unlearn things.  I for one learnt that you can combine your burpees with mountain climbers and feel like death after wards (in a good way).

cd58939d-e3f5-4a7f-80c6-4bc8340e82e9.jpg
Onai showing us how to do a star jump

We ended up substituting burpees with skipping and speed runs because we were no longer doing them in the proper form.  It was a lot of fun either way because we got to challenge our bodies in ways we never knew were possible.

I would like to personally thank everyone who came through yesterday:

  • Onai : May I one day be able to do star jumps like that without wanting to pass out.
  • Thembi : Even though the challenge was not easy you kept your good form for all the workouts.
  •  Jeff : Who knew you could combine burpees with mountain climbers, shout out to you for teaching us this trick!
  • Archie : You had a cold but that did not stop you from coming through for the event and even playing basketball after the main agenda of the day.
  • Samantha : The energy you have is out of this world, you should seriously consider being a sprinter.
  • Kundi : You managed to run even though it is not your favourite form of exercise.
  • Dumi : You arrived a little later than everyone else but you managed to join us and still play basketball afterwards.
  • Memory : That push up variation was not something we expected after an hour of exercise but we loved it all the same.  You still went on to play for your team at your netball match.
  • Chenge : Girl those squat pulses you taught us are definitely going on my to-do-list.  I hope this means my tush will grow at a faster rate because they are definitely something.

f3a4821f-de78-4ac9-b08e-c26b7c971d63.jpg

e7e7c997-e10d-4660-b1a1-4b031e8f8c28.jpg

It was a great day filled with great vibes.  The beautiful thing about this experience is that the ones who love fitness will stay coming through without need for a push.  I can only write about fitness and tell you all about it but if you actually don’t get up and do the work you will never get results.  At the end of the day this is all on you.

This Fitness In The Park event is free and happens once each month.  Be sure to Like my Facebook Page to stay up to date with all things fitness related.

Do you have Fitness In The Park Events in your community?  If yes, what is the experience like?

©MaKupsy 2017

Love is…Serendipity

You never see it coming and the next thing you know unconditional love unconditional love; she ain’t looking for no diamonds and digging for no gold just somebody to love unconditional love…

I looooove me some Jah Cure.  His music speaks to my soul.  This is one of my favourite tracks by him and I can never get enough of it.  The only side effect to this track is that it leaves me feeling all mushy, but a mushy good way.

What I have realised about love is that it comes when you least expect it.  That moment when you are all relaxed, no “God send me a partner already!” thoughts on your mind, busy getting on with your life and BAM! LOVE HITS YOU.  That kind of love is precious.

There are too many people in the world trying to be someone or something they are not or trying to feel things that they don’t feel.  This has probably contributed to love not being as pure as it used to be or rather as it is supposed be.  Most people have an agenda when it comes to relationships.

I would like to believe everyone wants that kind of love Jah Cure sings about but the biggest question I have for you is are you willing to give unconditional love?

P.S I know if Cyber Bae is reading this he is just rolling his eyes and saying “there goes Cupid’s Apprentice”; he calls me that because I still believe true love is out there somewhere, the only difference is only a few people get to experience it.

Love is serendipity.

©MaKupsy 2017

Saying Goodbye Is Not Always The Answer

Its 7pm, where are you?

Sorry dear, I’m running late.

I thought we agreed you would pick me up for dinner at 6:30 pm, like really, what’s up with that?!!

I’m on my way, I have just been delayed.

You know what, don’t come anymore, I can’t believe you made me wait this whole time; I’m going out with my friends instead!

But I’m nearly there.

No, forget it, actually, fuck this relationship, I’m done, if you can’t even keep time then what’s the point?

Can we just talk about this before you make such a drastic decision?

Silence

Within minutes he shows up, I jump into the car and there is nothing but dead silence until we reach our destination.  I diagnosed myself as suffering from Anger Management Issues (Whatever those are) because the way I would easily get annoyed the heck was completely out of this world.  I don’t know if it’s fortunate or unfortunate that I had a very patient boyfriend back then but because of him I learnt a thing or two about relationships.

The number one problem with me is that I don’t tolerate a lot of things.  Be it poor hygiene, not keeping time, typos and grammatical errors; I know you think this one is absurd but I find it a real turn off if the person I am supposed to be dating bombards me with messages that have typos, I easily lose focus and stop replying their messages.  If you think that’s being melodramatic it’s because you haven’t read my blog post titled Miss Petty.  Unfortunately for me because I have become very set in my ways over the years it has become increasingly difficult to compromise.  I blame staying on my own throughout my 20’s, I just don’t have room for someone else’s bullshit.  Wait, what am I supposed to blogging about again?  I think I am losing the plot, let me get back to the story at hand.

Seeing that we have been delayed we have missed our dinner reservation he decides we go to a laid back place instead and chill and have drinks and a meal.  However, he doesn’t tell me this because he knows for a fact that I am fuming already as it is.

We get to the parking lot and he sighs heavily and starts talking…

I honestly don’t understand why you just won’t give me a chance MaKupsy.  It’s been how many months now but each time I try to do something nice for you I am always greeted by being ignored or you simply tell me to take a hike.  What you don’t realise is that I have fallen in love with you.  I have tried so many ways to get through to your heart with zero luck.  Despite all your flaws I still want to be with you but clearly I am losing the plot somewhere.  Relationships are not meant to be easy and it seems like each time we have a problem you are ready to abandon ship.  It’s not supposed to be like that sweetheart; we are in this together and the only way this can grow into something solid and meaningful is if we communicate and move forward without you always saying hauchandida. (I don’t love you anymore).  Take today for example, when I told you I was running late you were already in defense mode and telling me you were making alternative plans.  Why didn’t you wait for me to show up to find out the reason(s) why I had been delayed and then take it from there instead of automatically assuming that I am taking your time for granted?  Tell you what, today is going to be a great evening and despite how it started off we are going to paint the town red, and no, you don’t have to say anything today, just take your time and digest what I just said.

He gets out of the car and comes to the passenger side of the car and opens the door for me like the gentleman that he is…

relationships-life-and-lesson-03 (1).jpg
Image from Pinterest

I never got to reply him in person on that day because did we have a great night out or what?!  However, the talk we had before our date made me realise something.  I had real underlying issues that needed to be dealt with.  I figured that the biggest problem was that once upon a time I had given my EVERYTHING to someone who did not reciprocate and it left me spent.  Each time I dated someone; at the back of my head I kept thinking that my current boyfriend was going to do something to hurt me so I always had my suitcase packed and ready to move on before I got my heart entangled in a relationship I assumed would leave me heart broken.  What I didn’t realise was that I was doing myself more harm than good because after all was said and done I was the one missing out on a chance of happiness while holding onto past disappointments.  How sad?  In my head everyone was like my ex boyfriend(s) and I never gave them a real chance.

The universe had other plans though, she sent someone who was patient and understanding.  Even though half the time we dated I threw major temper tantrums he still stood by me and taught me the art of communication and reminded me that there were still a few good men(5 of them and counting) with good intentions out there.

©MaKupsy 2017