When The Heartache Is Over

Heartache eventually melts away I promise.  Depending on your healing process it might take a few weeks, months and if you’re unlucky like me in that department it will take you years to get back to functioning normally.  Thankfully I come bearing great news; this heartache you’re currently going through, this too shall pass and you will come out stronger!

I never thought I could be happy again.  I never imagined I could make plans that go past a few days without feeling or thinking something could go wrong.  I never thought I could ever move on from my past, but here I am moving on and sh*t.  Today I celebrate life!  Life is beautiful.

MaKupsy 2018


Fighting Demons

I have emotional demons that I’m fighting and I’ve made a firm decision that I will stay away from getting myself into a relationship until I heal from them.  I can’t accommodate anyone else with the state I’m currently in.  I’ll drown them with me and that will not end well.  It’s time I work hard on myself so that I become a better person and future partner. I believe that the better you know yourself, the better you’re able to match yourself with someone when the time comes.(I can only hope)

After talking to a friend of mine about what I’m currently going through he said:

“I also think it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.  It’ll help you shed a lot off things that you carry around that you think are you but have nothing to do with you.”

However, this doesn’t mean I won’t stop admiring lovey dovey couples, it’s part of my favourite past time.  Love is still a beautiful thing and when it does come my way I want to be ready for it, physically, emotionally and financially; I’ll give it my best shot!

This is one of my current favourite feel good love songs.  You should check it out, you will probably fall in love with it at first listen the same way I did.

Have a lovely weekend ahead.

©MaKupsy 2018


Rules For Kicking As* In Life

Comparison will steal your joy.

I love to read and I’m always finding useful nuggets from the internet.  This is an extract from Pinterest that I know you will enjoy.  I hope after reading this you will go easy on yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on being your very best version.

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  1. Stop worrying, if it’s supposed to happen it will.
  2. Allow yourself to be a beginner.
  3. Don’t let your happiness depend on anything outside yourself.
  4. Stay close to everything that makes you feel alive.
  5. Listen to your body, it will lead you to unlimited health.
  6. Support yourself with people who see your greatness.
  7. Make peace with your past.
  8. See all setbacks as growth and expansive opportunities.
  9. Comparing yourself to others will hurt your health and steal your joy.
  10. Don’t give up, EVER!
  11. You always have a choice.
  12. Stop chasing what’s not working.
  13. Believe whole heartedly in miracles.
  14. Don’t postpone joy.
  15. Trust the universe.
  16. Wake up every morning with a grateful heart.
  17. Remember things take time.
  18. Always trust your gut.
  19. No need to change people, love them for who they are.
  20. Don’t resist change.
  21. Forgive yourself.
  22. Your life is a creative adventure.
  23. Release expectations and enjoy the journey, there is no destination.
  24. Just do you.
  25. You’re not broken or damaged, you are perfect the way you are.

©MaKupsy 2018

Who Are You When No One Is Watching?

I get up to some pretty interesting things when no one is watching.  My favourite being peeing in a bucket. My bathroom is just across my room but the whole task of getting out of bed, opening the door, walking to the toilet sitting myself down…too much work so I just place my bucket in my room and pee from there.  It’s fine, judge me all you like, my secret is out!  I bet a handful of other people do this, I can’t possibly be alone on this one but thanks to social media most won’t admit to it and that’s just how social media is slowly but surely stopping us from being our true selves.

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Under Pressure (insert Queen audio track here)

I love me some golden oldies and that track just reminded me just how much social media can put you under necessary pressure. Have you seen how gorgeous people look online?  Every other day they are wearing top of the range clothes, shoes, hair and makeup and the rest of us mere mortals are looking like we walked right out of a corn field!  A few years back it really used to bother me.  I couldn’t even imagine posting a photograph on Instagram wearing the same outfit I once posted weeks ago, that right there was taboo!  Now that I’m all grown up I can safely say I post whichever picture I want to and that’s not even every other day anymore because data is expensive, I have other things to do with my money.

Love Lives

I used to be very anti love.  After putting myself through unnecessary pain in relationships I didn’t have to be in I concluded that love was a farce. However, I have social media to thank for changing my perspective.  Friends I follow on different social media platforms celebrate love in so many ways it’s beautiful to watch.  The engagements, dates, adventures, marriages, the happiness that doesn’t stop popping up every other day assures me that there’s still hope for me and everyone else who is waiting on their love story.

Cyber Bullying Is Real

Once upon a time I could tweet whatever I liked until I got dragged for sharing my opinions.  Nope, definitely not revisiting that part of social media anytime soon.  That experience taught me to keep parts of my thoughts to myself because you never know who is waiting to pounce on you.  I don’t even have clever ‘come backs” or the energy to fight anyone online.  I can safely say social media has taught me to choose my words wisely!  Just not on my blog though, here I write what I like.

Take Time To Switch Off

If you aren’t careful you can spend the entire day on social media platforms and not get anything productive done AT ALL.  I take time out to enjoy my life offline and come back feeling more refreshed than ever.  Trust me, you need it for your own sanity.

So who really am I when no one is watching?  To be honest, I stay consistent, what you see online is exactly what you see offline.

I love my daughter, I love to run, I love to blog, I love to drink;vodka being my drink of choice and I love life!

How has social media impacted you both positively and negatively?

©MaKupsy 2018



I Fell Apart But I Survived

It sure took a long time but I finally healed from my past hurts.  In my opinion the most painful thing after labour has to be heartbreak, that stuff hurts.  The pain is all consuming and you have to experience it to understand it.

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You can try the healing processes I went through at your own risk because if I’m honest in the end they did me more harm than good but I guess it was necessary to finally get past what I was feeling.

  • I became an alcoholic. I drank from Sunday through to Sunday.
  • I became “friends” with people who only fueled my new found alcohol problem.
  • I got into relationships I had no business being in.
  • I talked to a few friends; I lie, I told everyone who cared to listen what I was going through I couldn’t keep the pain to myself it was too much to bear.
  • I pretended to be doing just fine.
  • I blogged and tweeted about my pain.
  • I cried buckets, waking up in the middle of the night with a lump in my throat was the order of the day.  Puffy eyes every morning had become a part of me.
  • Eventually I sat myself down and told myself to get it together.  It took me nearly 5 years to finally let go of the one thing that was holding me hostage.  The way I saw it I was feeding myself poison each day hoping the person who hurt me would suffer.  It was clearly working against me!  It was hard, I won’t lie but I survived it and I can talk about it and not break down anymore.  Life happens, dust yourself up and move on!

If you are going through past hurts I hope this quote helps you realise that only you can set yourself free:

“Don’t keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you are still in hell.”

What are some of the past hurts that you are currently going through?  Have you devised a way to get over them if yes, please share, it will certainly help a reader or two.  You can also check out a piece I wrote on how real heartbreak can be over here.

©MaKupsy 2018

I Am Fearless

“Once you become fearless life becomes limitless.”

One thing I do very well is not trying to be someone or something that I’m not.  I thank my 30s for this.  Life has been so much simpler since I got into this phase of my life!  I blog about whatever tickles my fancy, I live for myself, I do sh*t that makes me happy.  A great example is how I can just spend an entire Saturday at home doing absolutely nothing and still feeling content.  Plus, I pay rent there; can’t be all over town and not enjoying my hard earned monthly payments.  Then again if I really look at it I’m probably just old and I’ve been there and done that so nothing really tickles my fancy anymore.

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I made a decision a while back to make the rest of my life the very best of my life.  I already know people will judge you no matter what good or bad things you choose to do so go out and overshare like I do and leave no story untold or keep it to yourself and take it to your grave.  Whatever makes you happy is what matters the most.

I have nothing to fear, I’m the definition of an over-sharer and I trust those close to me would never be surprised if they found out about something I said or did that I happened not to tell them.

Do tell, what are you afraid people will find out about you?

I see you’re still reading this so why not go on and read some of my no holds barred blog posts; I promise they will make a great Sunday read;

©MaKupsy 2018

Your Love Still Haunts Me

I met you 13 years ago but your love still haunts me.  I can’t believe I’ve gone through life comparing everyone I’ve come across with you.  It’s a bad thing to do, I know this too well; but I can’t help it.  You loved me unconditionally.  I never had to wonder how you felt about me because I felt it inside me, your love was true.

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Will I ever meet someone who will treat me the way you did?  Someone who will be proud to have me in his life the way you did?  Someone who introduced me to his parents, aunts, sister and brother without having to ask.  Someone who gave me the keys to his house and I was free to come and go as I please.  Someone who my parents loved and adored after they asked to meet you.  Someone who never made me want for anything?

On days like today I always kick myself for walking away.  “I’m still too young, I need to discover myself.”  That’s what I told you when I gave you back the engagement ring you had bought for me.  If only I knew that we could have discovered the world together, grown together, written our happy ever after together, gone through all the surprises life throws at you together…but here I am filled with nothing but regret.

However, I still have hope; I believe that if true love could find you before, it will find you once more.  For now I have days I’m stuck in the past wondering if I will ever feel safe the way I did when I was with you.  I was loved.

©MaKupsy 2018

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

February sure did take it’s time to get here, it honestly felt like it was January since December last year!  I’m taking part in a blogging challenge termed #SheHeals but I will only be doing the first 7 days of it just to kick start the month.  From the daily prompts it looks like it’s going to be one challenge that will dig deep into my soul just leave it out to dry.  It will be good for me, I have a lot of healing to do and this is exactly what the doctor ordered!

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There are so many layers to me I don’t even know where to begin to tell you what I see and who I am right now.

When I look in the mirror I see a woman who is in desperate need for a career change.  I’m eternally grateful for the job I have but it’s time I moved onto something that I love.  Social media is my happy place; there’s always something new happening.  I’ve been blogging and creating content since 2014 and I absolutely love it!  I have declared that in 2018 I’m going to land a job as a Social Media Manager and I am going to flourish!

When I look in the mirror I see a woman who is tired of shortchanging herself when it comes to relationships.  Just yesterday I read a quote that said: “Do not pour out your sunshine into someone who doesn’t think of you as their sky”.  I realised that is me right there!  Always trying to turn people into projects that need to be fixed, loving someone so much with all I have only to get half baked kind of love.  I’m a woman who has told herself that from this year going forward only the best is good enough.  If love doesn’t set my soul on fire then I will continue to focus all my energy on loving every bit of myself.

When I look in the mirror I see a woman obsessed with her body for the most part.  I strive to exercise, eat right and focus on positive vibes only.  On the least part I’m a wreck, take last month for example; I didn’t give a single fu*k about what I was eating, barely exercised and I was drinking alcohol like it was never going to be sold ever again!  I honestly need a new coping mechanism.  However, today I’m back on the wagon of being straight and narrow and come end of the month I would have lost a cool 4kgs and yes, I will share the evidence.

When I look in the mirror I see a woman with one major goal in 2018 and I will make all the sacrifices to make sure my goal comes to fruition.  For the first time I won’t be sharing what this goal is, you just have to sit tight till the year ends for the big reveal.

When I look in the mirror I see a woman in pursuit of her dreams.  A woman who is going to grow like crazy, make mistakes, learn massive amounts, set big goals, make a lot of money and make sure she achieves every single one of them!

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

©MaKupsy 2018

Love Is Winning In 2018!

I have declared 2018 to be my year of love.  Most of my love stories have ended on a disastrous note usually with me suffering a serious case of heart break but not this year.  This year my love life is going to flourish, I’m going to love out loud and I’m going to share a lovely post on how love has won this time around before the year ends.  I feel something positive coming my way!

For some reason love and music seem to go hand in hand for me and there’s this Afrofusion artist who has stolen my heart musically!  His name is Ashton Mbeu Nyahora and he is part of the group; Mbeu and The Mhodzi Tribe.  If you don’t know him you are obviously living under a rock. Think love, celebrating women, daily struggles in our country and celebrating life.  He sings it all.


Photo Credit: Ashton Mbeu

I got in touch with him and asked him what or who influences him musically;

Everything around me influences my music and I owe my mentoring to Dr. Oliver Mtukudzi. To date we still go and seek advice from him, he is a fountain of wisdom.” – Ashton Mbeu

A few facts about Mbeu and The Mhodzi Tribe:

  • Ashton’s family wanted him to join the army but his chose his musical passion instead.
  • The genre of their music is called Mhodzi Music but their fans prefer to call it Afrofusion; the group is not afraid to experiment with different genres.
  • Mbeu and The Mhodzi tribe  are all professional and full time musicians working towards penetrating the international platform.
  • The age groups of the band members vary from 22 to 28 years old.

This is one of my favourite tracks, I even have it on my running playlist!

You can get in touch with the band on Facebook (@MbeuTheMhodziTribeBand) they are very responsive on that platform.

My personal favourites by the band are:

  1. Mbeuyashe
  2. Dhabuka
  3. Ndapfugama
  4. Chawakandidira
  5. Hazvineyi

As I was saying; love is beautiful, relationships are oh so lovely.  However when you get into a relationship I hope and pray that you and your partner take time to talk about what your relationship is about and which direction it’s taking.  Be clear about what it is you want and need.  The year is 2018 refuse to waste your time on things that don’t grow you, relationships included.🤗

How’s your new year coming along?  Have you started working on your resolutions as yet?  Have you listened to Mbeu and The Mhodzi Tribe before?  If yes, what are some of your favourite songs?  If not, what are you waiting for???

©MaKupsy 2018

Stay In Your Lane

When you finally find yourself you will stop trying to pace yourself against the world.  You will sit down and figure out it is you are really about.  It’s only now, in my 30’s that I’m learning what really makes me me.  I still find it strange that it probably means this whole time I was just existing and not living.  Or better yet, I was living up to society’s standards and having those standards take a toll on me mentally and physically.  It takes a great deal of self introspection to get to this happy place but trust me when it happens your life will never be the same again.

run your own race

Image from Pinterest

We have already established that I love all things bright and beautiful but they come at a price called sacrifice!  In the past I’ve limited my needs and desires because I felt that some things were financially out of my reach or the prices were too prohibitive.  It took a lot of reading and talking to other people who have some of the things I want to realise that in order to achieve your goals you need to evaluate your personal circumstances and then prioritise your needs.   If you try and do too many things at once you will lose focus and end up not having achieved anything at all.

I’ve lived in an apartment in town all my adult life and the convenience of walking to work and having my own space has been the best feeling ever!  However, I have a new goal and it comes at a very high price and it meant me having to relocate from town in order to save money.  Change is not easy, it’s very uncomfortable but I keep reminding myself that in a few months time I would have accomplished what I set out to achieve.  The beauty of it all is that this is something that I want, not something my friends or family want but a personal goal and so attaining it won’t feel like a mammoth task…What are you willing to sacrifice for the things you want or need? 

“If you continuously compete with others you become bitter, but if you continuously compete with yourself you become better.”

There’s nothing wrong with comparing yourself with your peers.  Sometimes I go through and like a dozen photographs of my successful family and friends on Instagram doing amazing things in different areas of their lives.  I would be lying if I said sometimes I don’t feel a little bit envious because let’s face it some people are doing way better than me.  However, a little bit of envy never hurt anyone, used positively it can help you set your personal bar higher and aim to achieve greater things.  Be mindful though, you don’t want to end up feeling jealous, bitter or malicious; remind yourself that we can’t possibly all have the same things.

Whatever you do, don’t stop being grateful for what you currently have.  Accept your situation and work on improving it.  There is so much more joy in celebrating what’s already there than wallowing in misery for what you don’t have(yet).

These are some of my favourite quotes that help me to remain sane and focused:

  • Your attitude determines your direction.
  • Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
  • I’m too busy working on my own grass to see if yours is greener.
  • Everything comes to you in the right moment, be patient, be grateful.
  • Beach more, worry less 🙂

What are some of the sacrifices you have had to make in order to reach your personal goals?  What lesson did you learn from the experience?

©MaKupsy 2017