To Give Or Not To Give Your Girlfriend A Monthly Allowance?

Girlfriend  Giving Directions To Her Boyfriend

“Come to the front gate of my apartment where you dropped me off.  Look for flat 9A, you’ll find a lift on your right.  Hit 9 with your ELBOW.  Get out of the lift, you’ll find my flat on the left.  Hit the doorbell with your ELBOW and I’ll get the door for you.”

Boyfriend says: That seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Girlfriend: “OMG! Are you coming empty handed?”

Boyfriend: (speechless)

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I thought this was hilarious because some men are famous for visiting their girlfriends with just dick and hairy balls, like can we throw those in a pan and fry them for supper?  Women are not saying buy them something everyday but why not think outside the box for a change and surprise a lady with something she likes??

One of my contacts sent me that joke on WhatsApp last night and it gave me an idea to blog about this morning.  Let’s talk about Bae Allowance shall we?

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Photo Credit Theo & Essy

Bae Allowance – Money a guy gives his girlfriend at the end of each month for her random needs.

Let me first give you my thoughts on the subject matter.  This might end up being a lengthy blog but I promise you will enjoy it.  Let me tell you a bit about my very first boyfriend.  That guy treated me like a little princess.  He never missed a birthday, anniversary, special event, good or bad moment.  We were through it all through thick and thin.  The whole 5 years that we dated I never asked for a single dime of his money.  He just did things because he wanted to and not because I had to beg and plead for him to do so.  Maybe because back then I was younger and had less problems but I believe even if we had stayed together he was still going to be that guy who takes care of his woman without her throwing tantrums about it.  After dating other people after him I can safely say that people are different and just because he went above and beyond for me doesn’t mean the next guy will do the same.

For that reason I have since learnt to accept that one should always live within their means and not expect the next person to cater to their every single need.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your man should not spoil you but you don’t have to convince him to do so, he has to do so on his own accord.  Guys already know that a woman needs to be pampered every now and again and so if he isn’t doing it for you it’s either he doesn’t want to or he is just not that into you (JUST KIDDING).  I for one would not want a fixed monthly allowance though, that’s just tacky because if the tables were turned trust me I would not be paying anyone an allowance for being a part of my life.  I have a daughter on my  payroll as it is, I don’t think I can make anymore additions to that!

I asked a few friends; both male and female about their thoughts on Bae Allowance and these were their thoughts:

The ladies said:

  • I think if it’s a serious relationship it’s not meant to be an obligation; both are meant to help each other out.  In a case were both work rather do  things for each other than give each other money otherwise it will seem like it’s all about money.
  • l feel most guys should give their girlfriends bae allowance.  That way  you avoid having to constantly say “Baby my hair is a mess l need money, baby my nails what not.  Just give her the monthly allowance so that you don’t stress each other out every other week.  IT’S NOT A MUST THOUGH.

The guys said:

  • There should not be a fixed mandatory Bae Allowance in a relationship.  It is of paramount importance that an individual be self sufficient that way I can chip in here and there.  It’s important to take care of your partner (what you don’t do for her, she will find someone else who can) but it should not be made out into a big deal when I can’t do it all the time.
  • If you’re my girlfriend don’t ask me for anything that costs $5 or less because what were you doing for money before we started dating? Now you suddenly want my money.  I should feel like spending on you willingly.  I’m not a bank and understand that when I say I don’t have money most of the time I genuinely don’t have because money is hard to come by.  I will spend on her but allowance I don’t do… It’s like I’m paying you to be my girlfriend!

There you have it.  Both sexes have voiced out their opinions.

As an addition I just had to say this.  Fine, I know I am not for a woman actually getting to be on her boyfriends payroll but some of these guys are cheap skates.  If you actually don’t even ask him to buy you anything he will actually continue to do so and not see anything wrong with that.  Let me ask the guys a question.  How are you going to date your girlfriend for a whole year and not once surprise her with a set of sexy lingerie?  So you are an expert at taking off her clothes but not buying her anything to add sexiness to her lingerie collection??  Also, why do some guys just want to take women out for drinks when the same amount can be used for a proper lunch, dinner or better still coffee date?  Okay fine, that is completely off topic now.

This is the part I say goodbye.

My friends from the Podcast world got excited about this topic and touched on the subject.  You can listen in from here.

©MaKupsy 2018

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Social Media Etiquette Tips

Social Media has taken the world by storm and has not left Zimbabweans behind.  Most people are on most social media platforms and loving it.  However, from my personal observation there seems to be a lack of social media etiquette with most people and I will address some of the experiences I face every other day.

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Image from Pinterest

Links, Links and More Links!

I get it, you are trying to push your work through your social media platforms but have you ever stopped to think that maybe just maybe it’s a bit overboard?  Just yesterday I had to unfollow a few people on Twitter because I felt spammed.  I had observed it over time but yesterday was my breaking point.  How are nearly 20 of your Tweets all about links directing me to your work?  Are you an automated machine?  Is there no human being behind your account?  Whatever happened to maybe talking about the weather or engaging with your followers on whichever subject they might trending?  I know it’s your account and you can do as you please but if you want people to actually get interested in what you have to share then perhaps you need to consider actually talking to them instead of force feeding them with your work.  A simple retweet, a reply or a genuine compliment will go a long way.

Still on the subject of spamming; if there is one thing that really grates on my nerves it has to be broadcast messages on WhatsApp!  I believe if you have my number in your contacts it means we at least know each other on a “hi hi” basis.  With that in mind I also think that if you want to bombard me with your products, links and posters then by all means at least have some form of conversation with me.  I’m not saying send me a good morning message everyday; just a simple occasional hello message or even a comment on a status update to show that I’m not in your phone for decorational purposes will suffice.  I actually now have a few people that I automatically know are simply forwarding their links the moment their name pops up on my notifications.  Stop it!  Actually, I have asked some contacts to stop adding me to their broadcast list, I just think it’s rude and unnecessary especially if you don’t even have the decency to make conversation with me.

Interaction 

I have 6,744 followers on Twitter.  Before you get shocked by the number, I have been on Twitter since 2011 so my following has grown organically.  One thing I can tell you for free is that in order to grow your followers you need to interact with them.  It can be a retweet, sharing their work, event or simply liking their tweet.  I don’t follow back a lot of people BUT I will respond to almost every mention on my timeline because I believe everyone has something they can teach you no matter how big or small it might be.  Interacting with your followers makes you approachable and being approachable leaves you open to a world of opportunities.  Trust me, I know this, I live this.

Facebook Business Pages

Dear Facebook Business Pages who do not give adequate information, what are you doing?  When you send incomplete messages what’s supposed to happen?  You want me, your potential customer, the one you want money from, to pick up the phone to call or WhatsApp you or send you a private message???  What in the world is going on with you?  Let me give you a few examples:

  • I’m selling A, B, C please WhatsApp for price.
  • 2 bedroom flat to rent price negotiable (how do you not know how much you want to rent out your property for?) 
  • Friday Special, lamb chops and a salad (no price included on the image posted)

Then customers start responding asking how much, where do we find you, which methods of payment are available and guess what, no one replies and yet this is 2017 where everything moves at the speed of lightning.  How are you going to give your customers quality service if you can’t even respond to their questions?  The common excuse I hear is “We are not always on Facebook”.  Funny!  Why then do you have an account if you don’t want to manage it?

Thankfully there are some pages that actually do a fantastic job when it comes to being responsive and helpful and you check them out.  My top 2 favourites are Chop Chop Brazillian Steak House and TBagsZim please take notes, they are on the right path.

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Image from Pinterest

Update Your Information

This means your contact number, social media accounts and your websites.  It’s not a good look when a customer follows a link only to find that it’s broken or no longer exists.  It simply screams disorganised and you definitely don’t want customers to think that way about your business.

Please also take time to check for grammatical errors when you post your content.  You don’t want to come of as careless.  Our gadgets are loaded with applications that spell check, kindly use them.  I think I’m the pettiest customer you will ever come across and if your advert has grammatical errors I lose interest real quick.

That said, please bear in mind that people don’t have time and if you keep them waiting for too long they will move on to the next reliable source.  Options aplenty.

Do you have any social media etiquette tips to add on?  Sharing is caring.

©MaKupsy 2017

15 Priceless Gems I Learnt From The #30DayAfriblogger Challenge

I blogged my heart out in September, a whole 30 days of creating posts was worth every minute of my time…

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Image from Pinterest

  1. What stands between you and what you want is the story you tell yourself about why you can’t have it. I told myself I was going to blog the heck out of this September Challenge and I did exactly that!
  2. Collaboration is key. There were days when the challenge topics were tough and I had no idea how to tackle them. Thankfully we had the option to invite guest bloggers to write for us on a not so creative day.  I’m grateful for Chantelle, Vimbai and Josh for coming to the rescue.  Through their work my eyes were opened to issues that I had been ignorant about.
  3. Having a Content Calendar makes life easier. When the challenge started I looked through the topics and I was convinced it was going to be one crazy month because it looked like a lot of work.  Turns out it saved me a lot of time because I worked on difficult topics beforehand and sailed through the easy ones.
  4. I’ve spotted my weaknesses and strengths. Before this challenge I was an impromptu blogger.  Thanks to having to do research beforehand I have become more organised and I can create blog posts days in advance.  My number one strength now is that I know I can actually blog everyday if I put my mind to it.
  5. I got out of my comfort zone and learnt about new topics e.g feminism. I always see the topic getting people in heated arguments on social media platforms but now that I am more knowledgeable on the topic believe me I will be jumping in with my views.
  6. Use of different tools and elements to evoke emotion. Pinterest was good to me, word play even better!  These tools helped with keeping my readers engaged throughout the month and I’m happy to note that most readers could relate to different topics.
  7. Blog titles.  The catchier the better.  One of my personal favourites this month was When In Doubt, Eat Sadza.  This post caught the attention of my readers; most readers are currently out of the country so seeing sadza left them feeling nostalgic.
  8. Scheduling posts was the best thing that ever happened to me in September! It gave me time to read other blogs and not work on blogging only.
  9. Excuses don’t bring blog posts! I wrote through both good and bad days.  That’s the problem when you initiate something; you can’t afford to let yourself down so it ends up being both a blessing and a curse.  I seriously think that Sweet Lips should give me a case of wine because I went through a lot of wine this month to keep myself from drowing.
  10. Trust is built with consistency.  My objective as a Blogger is to get people engaged on my blog and the only way to do so is through consistent work.
  11. You may be a blogger but you are also a writer. Once you are something you have the responsibility of being  the best version of that!  What better way to challenge your skills through a 30 Day Blogging Challenge?
  12. September has been the best month of the year statistically with 5,379 views, 3,598 visitors, 524 likes, 137 comments and 31 blog posts!  If you want to get this blogging thing on lock then becoming a reliable source for content makes your blog more useful and therefore popular.
  13. Team work is the sh*t! We had a WhatsApp group running throughout the challenge and we discussed difficult topics in advance and it helped to give you an idea of which direction to choose for your posts.
  14. Bearded men aren’t so bad after all, wait, bearded men are the business! Apparently a man with a beard comes with much wisdom, awesomeness and note there’s D on the end of the word beard!   My friend (who happens to have a beard) would check on some of my posts and read some of my drafts and let me know they were lacking my character.  Make sure you have a person like that to cross check your work before sending it out into the world.
  15. I was going to stop blogging by the end of this year because I thought I was completely out of ideas on what to write about but this challenge just took my creative juices to the next level! I now know how I’m going to proceed blogging wise sit tight, it’s going to be an explosive journey from here on.

*Bonus Lesson: It’s good to invest in learning some technical skills!*

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Image from Pinterest

That said, let’s celebrate good times!!  Congratulations to every blogger who participated in this challenge. It was one energy filled month, we outdid ourselves African Bloggers!!!  This is the end of the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge and I’m happy to have been a part of something so profound.  The first time I did a write everyday challenge was last year in September and you can read the posts from here.

I would love to hear from you, when was the last time you took up a writing challenge?  How did that go for you?  Did you face any challenges along the way and how did you handle them?

I’m going to be away for a while, taking a “break” from blogging but I will still be here reading through all your amazing posts.  Have a lovely weekend ahead and stay beautiful both inside and out.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Steward Health Partner With Fitness Bae

STEWARD HEALTH PARTNER WITH FITNESS BAE

Steward Health has struck a major partnership with Fitness Bae.  Steward Health is an innovative and proactive provider of health care.  They not only seek to provide health care solutions in times of trouble but they share the same vision with Fitness Bae of promoting good health through a healthy lifestyle.  Participants of the September Challenge can look forward to receiving fitness related merchandise from Steward Health when they win prizes on different activities.

As an evolving movement Fitness In The Park will make way for a new and exciting idea, Harare Parkruns. This will see people learning to become runners and engaging in the fitness lifestyle. The Harare parkrun program will include exercise, motivation, diet and education to create healthy habits and healthy lifestyles. Our friends at Steward Health will join us on this journey and will once again play a major part in bringing parkruns to Harare.

In order to take part you have to like both @StewardHealthZim and @thefitnessbae Facebook Pages.  The hash tags to use each time you participate during the challenge are #StewardHealthZW and #RunWithFitnessBae

More details will be available in due course.  Keep watching this space as we bring you exciting times ahead with our new beloved partner Steward Health.

You can find out more information about Steward Health from their website: www.stewardhealth.co.zw

 

Fitness Bae®

Fitness Bae : Behind The Name

I rejoined Facebook last year after deleting my account nearly 6 years ago.  The only reason I got back was because the social media programme I was studying recommended that Facebook was a highly effective tool to get your blogs to spread like wild fire.  I can confirm that it’s true.

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Shanee reached out to me a few months ago and told me about her Facebook Page.  I’m not a fan of groups but after we had a little chat I decided to check her page out and I was not disappointed.  It’s highly interactive and she asks the uncomfortable questions that our Zimbabwean society tends to sweep under the carpet.  If you are on Facebook and would like a space to have a good laugh and get down to some serious issues then be sure to follow her.  Please note that some of her posts are in Shona so Google Translate is your friend.  You can follow her from here.

Shanee sent me a few questions related to fitness a while back and my answers are below:

Why do you do what you do?

I love to exercise, it’s my happy place.  It took me out of a very dark phase of my life to a brighter and more purpose driven one.  In the past I struggled with being overweight and the emotional and mental baggage that comes with it.  What started as a journey to lose weight has turned into a journey to gain life;  to find meaning. Fitness has made me grow into a strong and confident woman!

What are the pros and cons of exercising?

There are countless pros to exercising but my favourite one is the “feel good hormones.”  Each time I exercise I feel happy, refreshed and energetic.  That feeling is priceless.  The other advantage of exercising is that it’s a personal pursuit, you are constantly challenging your mind and body to push boundaries it never thought were possible.

The only real con is that you have do it.  I have been on this journey for three years now and there’s no stopping me.  It’s a lifetime thing.  I actually have to stop myself from oversharing my running addiction on Facebook incase my friends unfriend me.   Exercising is a deliberate act that involves making some tough choices every single day.

What’s the best age to start exercising?

Any and all ages. It’s obviously easier for younger people because the condition of your body plays a part.  I have a daughter who is 5 years old and she loves to imitate almost everything I do, exercise included and even though she doesn’t realise it but exercise has become a part of her daily life.

How much does it cost?

It depends on how you choose to approach it. It can cost next to nothing to look up a few exercise plans and start working out.  I am your go to person here; I host challenges each month(free) on my Facebook Page.  You can also opt to join a gym and that will cost you anything ranging from $40 to $120.

The alternative that I offer is a customised weight loss plan that costs as little as $20 a month.  This is a plan designed to fit into your life and achieve the body you deserve!

Where do you exercise?

The comfort of  my home, the open road or even in a park. The Fitness In The Park team will be hosting Harare ParkRuns starting from the 2nd of September and they will bring a great new element for those who need some motivation to get up and do something!

Who do you exercise with?

Fitnesss Bae of course!  You should join the movement too and come #RunWithFitnessBae

Why is it important for both men and women to exercise?

Fitness is for every one. A healthy body performs better for longer. It can help prevent some major health problems (type 2 diabetes and heart trouble, hypertension) or even manage existing ones.  Exercise also helps better your performance at sex.  Imagine how strong your body will get when you do full body exercises, whichever position you choose to try, you know you will be able to hold it the entire time.

What are other varieties of exercises do you do besides running?

There are many fitness programs and types like running, cycling, swimming, Zumba which all have great weight-loss benefits.  There are also dietary programs. I use a combination of both fitness and diet to achieve my weight-loss and weight management results.

Any advice for those starting out on their fitness journey?

Make small deliberate changes into your life and you will soon see the results.  You can start with cutting down your food portions, aiming for 5 000 steps a day, drinking a certain amount of water each day; whatever small change you make will gradually add up.  You don’t need anything fancy to get started, just a positive attitude.  It will go a long way.

Stay logged onto my Health and Fitness Journey Series Episode 10 will be live on Tuesday at 9:00am.  It will be the last episode of Season 1.

Fitness Bae®

 

 

 

 

Thank You

Thank you; I have never taken time to say this but today I want everyone who has been a part of my journey to know that I am eternally grateful for their support.  My purpose would have gone unnoticed if I didn’t get a push.  I remember the first message I got from Tichaona asking me if I had found a way to monetise my passion.  I was clueless as to where to even begin but he encouraged me to work with the one idea that seemed easiest to follow through and I did exactly that!  The universe has a way of directing the right energy towards you just when you need it because a few weeks after Tichaona reached out to me a lot of other people did the same and they have not stopped surprising me.

I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the following people.  I would like to say thank you to:

Kudzai : For Audio Books.  My life has taken a very productive turn ever since you introduced me to them.  A week can not go by without me taking in a dose of them.  Thank you for always being a message away, for the fresh ideas, for pushing me even when all I want to do is give up and for being my biggest cheer leader.

Tichaona: For reaching out to me, I would have never thought outside the box if it wasn’t for you.

Tanya: For the positive talk.  Thank you for reminding me each and everyday how important it is to reach for the stars.  To go for the things that bring me happiness with all I have.  To put myself first and not compromise on what I am worth.  She is my personal Finance Manager, where money is concerned she is the one who makes sure I get a good deal.

Onai: For believing in my dream.  Whenever there is a Fitness In The Park event you are there and you bring friends with you.  Growing the team one event at a time.

Dumisani: For standing in for me on days life overwhelms me.  Thank you for the days you can get the team together for basketball games, for co-hosting Fitness In The Park events, for being the biggest motivation in the group and for being my Instagram Content Manager.  I know I can be pretty picky but you are patient and do it all the same.

Colleen: I would actually need an entire blog post to say my thank yous because you have helped me through so many different areas of my life. However, today I want to say thank you for all the brilliant blog ideas not only for the fitness blog but for my lifestyle blog as well.  Thank you for reminding me that blogging is not just a hobby but an art that people need to start respecting.  Thank you for always directing me to useful reading material and thank you for believing in me.

Sir Nigel : Thank you for sharing my blog content on your ever growing #263chat community.  You have no idea how this had me taking a step back to decide on what I should be writing. If 74 000+ people are going to see my work it better be some quality blog post!  Thank you for this, my fitness blog will certainly go far.

Tillo: Thank you for always having my back.  You are the one person who has known me the longest.  You give me strength when I need it the most. Thank you for showing me that once you get to that happy place nothing can stop you from growing.  Thank you for always sharing my work on all your social media platforms, sometimes all my blog link needs is a retweet that will reach hundreds of other people.

Wesley: This is the man who is responsible for my logo.  I remember he asked me what I would like it to look like and after sending him a short message he sent me my logo and I fell in love with it on the spot.  Thank you for making my ideas more visual.  Thank you for being ever so patient with me when I send you requests.  Thank you for the beautiful apparel you make for my brand.  Thank you for being such a professional Graphic Designer.

I may have left out a lot of people in this blog post but please know that I appreciate every single one of you.  You expect nothing in return but still help me all the same, I hope that one day I will be able to return the favour.  I am surrounded by people who are dependable and who bursting with positive energy.  I wish you well and I hope you never forget that you have played a huge part in what is now a fitness brand.

Words are not enough to thank you for everything you continue to do for me.

Fitness Bae®