Day 19: Your Career Your Choice?

On the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge today’s topic is “Why Did You Choose Your Career Path.  I’m a qualified Secretary and now that you know what I do let’s talk about the fun stuff!

What did YOU want to be when you were growing up?  I know with my generation everyone wanted to be a doctor, a nurse, a teacher, a soldier an accountant, a businessman or a pilot.  Those seemed to be the only options one had to choose from in order to be labelled successful.  I on the other hand was completely different.  I had other plans on my mind and none of those occupations tickled my fancy.  I had different dreams and who knows some might still come true in this lifetime.  I always felt that if I became or got to do some of the things on my list I would be happier; so here is my list of things I thought I would one day do once I was all grown up.

c51265e4eae0965ee6532c04c235cd48.jpg

Image from Pinterest

  1. Study choreography.  I love to dance,(not professionally) think naughty suggestive shake your ass like a salt shaker type of moves.  I’ve always felt that if I had the opportunity to actually study dance I would have one job I would love and literally run to every day because I can never get enough of all the dance styles that keep being created every single day.  Seeing that the choreography dream isn’t coming true soon enough I have taken to never leaving the dance-floor when I go out to party.  You should see my moves, Beyonce ain’t got nothing on me!
  2. Music.  Sometime in my early 20’s I thought being a DJ wouldn’t be a bad idea considering the way I love my music.  I remember applying for some voice over positions and that never materialised.  A friend who happens to be a DJ needed some Voice Over’s done for his music mix and approached me some  years back.  I enjoyed the few seconds of fame and loved hearing the sound of my voice.  I figured it wasn’t too late to pursue that career but what else must one do after being a Voice Over Artist?  However, this is definitely a dream that can still come to life if I put my mind to it; I just have to make it a side gig because the way Zimbabwe is set up you can’t make it your end and all!
  3. Counsellor.  I would like to believe I am an attentive listener and once I put my mind to it I will encourage someone to talk about issues they feel they cannot normally share with other people.  I already have a qualification in HIV/ AIDS Care and Counselling so one day when the opportunity arises I will step up and use it.  Methinks studying couselling works to my advantage because people feel safe to share their problems with me.  In this case health and fitness problems and I’m always willing to help no matter what time of day.
  4. Globe Trotter.  I wanted to travel the world. I didn’t want to have a permanent address.  I wanted my life to be different and planned that each year I would stay in say Kenya for one year, then move to India the following year and off to Netherlands, anywhere but home was going to be absolutely perfect for me.  I wanted to learn about different cultures and traditions while I enjoyed being on a travel adventure.  Alas, that hasn’t happened yet, but on the upside I have travelled to some parts of the world and still plan on travelling beyond Africa.
a77b78677f98248f9a6d5634c50f78c8.jpg

Image from Pinterest

I have a fun personality and I want to do things that unleash my character.  My current job doesn’t allow that though, it was an occupation chosen on my behalf and each day I make steps towards pursuing what I want and find a way to escape from a job that steals my joy.  I know it’s not too late to give what I love the most my full attention.  I want to leave this earth knowing I did everything that brought joy to my life.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” — Steve Jobs

©MaKupsy 2017

Advertisements

Day 5: Ready For Retirement(Financially)? Me Neither!

I have been thinking of ways to start saving money towards my retirement for nearly 5 years now with absolutely no luck.  Each time I try and save a dollar or two something comes up and I have to use that money.  Saving is hard especially in our current economy where most people, me included are living from hand to mouth.  If I am to be very honest with myself with the way things are looking right now chances of having my parents let alone myself in my retirement plans are bleak!  Let’s talk about the past, the present and the future of retirement and see where your thoughts fall in.

Many decades ago most parents in Africa where having children by the dozens.  If you ask most people they will tell you their parents had 12 or more siblings.  Back then most parents believed that the more children they had the better chances of having someone take care of them when they grew old.  It seems life was more affordable in those times and everyone managed to go to school and get an education, land a job and start their own life.  Some did take care of their parents, others chose to drop out of school and do odd jobs while others stayed at home and never really did make anything of themselves.  I suppose having a bunch of children was the hope that at least one of them would do well and never forget his or her parents back home and therefore that child became their retirement plan.  I wonder what the plan was if none of their children came through…

zed-kolk-43128 (1)

In present time most Africans are not educated on making plans for retirement.  Most people don’t believe in forecasting and live each day as it comes.  A great example is how most Zimbabweans rarely buy advanced tickets because “We don’t know what might come up (insert what if I die or something happens to me) and end up not going”.   I was saying…the plan most people know is to go to school, get a job, rent in a nice apartment, buy a car, work, work, work then die.  Not many people will tell you about saving for a holiday, saving to buy a house, saving to pay lobola, saving for a rainy day, saving to surprise their parents or siblings with something nice, saving for their child’s college or even saving to spoil themselves at some point…the list is endless.  I know that part of the reason this doesn’t happen is because people genuinely don’t have the means to do so.  I will be honest, I only manage to save for a rainy day and for my daughters education and it leaves me feeling like I am failing at life.  It’s tough; you have to make A LOT of sacrifices.  I want to do so much for myself and my parents but each day it seems a lot of things are out of reach.  I believe if you work hard and apply yourself things will work out and that is why I am working hard towards growing my Fitness Brand so that years from today I will have enough money to take care of all my needs.  I do not want to be a burden to my daughter but have my life sorted out till the day I die.  I want to be that cool grandmother who spoils her grandchildren rotten, lives in a beautiful comfortable home in Nyanga, drives a pretty vintage car and when she’s around everyone knows a lot of great stories will be told about the adventure filled life she lived.

werner-sevenster-54429.jpg

I strongly believe that we should teach our children the importance of planning and dreaming big.  The earlier you start letting them in on it the better.  Teach your child to let their imagination run wild.  Let them think of ideas of how they can make extra income from the pocket money you already give them.  They can come up with selling muffins, lemonade, selling woolen hats or gloves that they would have knitted themselves.   Whatever skill they come up with that will give them extra income should be a starting point for you to then teach them that money should be saved for the future and relying on one form of income will surely send you to an early grave unless you land a very well paying job.  However, life is to be lived!  Live a little, save, enjoy the finer things in life and then get back to business.  I am one parent who will drill this into my daughter’s head because I know she will hopefully grow up and know that she has to make plans for her future if she wants it to be comfortable.

After all is said and done.  As it stands, asking me today, right here and right now, I can safely say that my parents are not in my retirement plan.  Luckily for them they planned their life to a tee and are enjoying staying at home and not having to work or ask anyone for money.  I have a long way to go because I still need to buy myself a car, a house, travel, take my daughter through school, make some investments, establish my fitness business…I want to get to retirement age knowing that I have income from my savings, pension, investments, from the houses I will buy and I do not want donations from my daughter to be one of those streams of income.  She will have a life too and will have her own plans.  As and when I can I will spoil my parents and that ladies and gentleman is my truth.

Here are some tips you can try out to get financially fit:

  • First things first, why do you want to be financially fit? Ask yourself that and then you have a starting point.  This will be your driving force, your motivation, your inspiration.
  • You need a routine of sort. Do you have a budget?  If not you have to get one today, that way you can track your spending habits and cut out unnecessary expenses that are stopping you from saving.
  • Be accountable to someone or if you’re like me to yourself. Write down your financial goals so that you are constantly referring to them to see if you are making progress.
  • No one but you can push you to be savvy with your money. Make a plan to find additional streams of income so that saving becomes a reality.
  • Set small measurable goals. For example you can start with clearing that clothing account and stick to buying with cash only!  When that happens then move on to the next goal and before you know it you are doing great at being financially fit!
  • RESEARCH!  I can not stress this enough.  There are entire books on the subject as well as many varying ways to invest your money, big or small.  Like everything else in life the more you read the more informed you become.

Making money is good, keeping money is great! 

Do you have your parents included in your retirement plans?  Have you tried any of the tips to get financially fit?  I would love to hear from you and also get additional tips on how we can work towards being financially sound!

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

Why Do (we) Africans Fear Doctor Visits?

I grew up in a family where healthcare was a big part of our tradition.  My parents always had annual medical checkups and this tradition easily became part of my life throughout the years.  The fear of doctors is not something new to most people in Africa because most of us don’t visit the doctor for a vast number of reasons.  I want to touch on healthcare; share some of my experiences and also let you know what some my friends on social media have to say about healthcare in our country, Zimbabwe.

90% of Zimbabweans are not on medical aid.

The Dermatologist 

I have had problem skin for the longest time!  I didn’t understand why I kept getting breakouts and why the over-the-counter medications I kept trying out were not working on my skin.  I was spending a lot of money and getting zero results.  The wise thing was to simply book an appointment with a Dermatologist right?  Wrong!  I had to try everything under the sun including self diagnosing my problem until I finally accepted defeat.  You would think I didn’t have medical aid cover!  I saw the Dermatologist and in just 5 minutes he prescribed some oral medication, an ointment and told me to use only white soap on my skin.  I WAS NOT convinced! I mean, here I was spending money on Clinique products and this man tells me the answer is in white soap??  Just like that?  I will have you know that he was right though; shame on me!  Now when I have a break out I know the exact reason why and I’m glad I made that appointment.  It saved me from forking out money every other month on products that were achieving the square root of nothing!

24ef29eededd416150183f00d92ad83c.jpg

Image from Pinterest

The Surgeon

I’m one of those people who’s always on the look out for any abnormalities on my body when I’m not busy checking out how my abs are looking in the mirror that is.  Sometime last year round about this time I felt a lump in my breast.  It felt uncomfortable and my monthly’s were nowhere close so something was definitely amiss!  I have to warn you, the internet is not your friend when you are not well.  I went straight to Google and the things I found through the searches were jaw dropping!  By the time I went to bed that night I was convinced I had full blown breast cancer and I didn’t sleep a wink.  I was the first person to arrive at the doctor the next day and after she ran a few tests she referred me to a surgeon.  The long and the short of the story is it turned out I didn’t have breast cancer but what I had was a breast mouse which was pretty large but was safely removed and I have no scar to show for it.  The surgeon had a field day with me though because I was nervous as heck on the day of the operation because I couldn’t afford to have the procedure while I was “put to sleep” so I went through it wide awake.

Prevention is better than cure.

I asked a friend of mine, Claire, why it is important to go for doctor visits.  She is currently working in Anaesthetics as an Intern at Parirenyatwa Hospital.

6278ac45-83b2-42b4-b651-f350264a05de.jpg

Claire Gweredza-Hondo

3 Reasons Why Doctor Visits Are Important:

  1. It’s one thing to be exercising and trying to eat healthy but it’s also equally important to have regular checkups at the doctor at least once a year.  Having your doctor see you on a regular helps detect disease or illness early.  Checkups include but are not limited to screening for cancers, high blood pressure, cholesterol and dental check ups.
  2. Going for regular check ups helps with establishing a good doctor-patient relationship because you get to spend more time together.  You eventually get comfortable sharing your health problems and that fear and anxiety lessens.
  3. Getting yourself on medical aid cover means you are actually saving money.  You are investing now to prevent disease that was going to cost you more when diagnosed later.  For example, getting cervical cancer screening with Viac or Pap smear might seem not worth it now but it can save a lot of money in the long run.  When diagnosed late, there will be need for chemotherapy and radiotherapy which cost thousands in the long run.

The ONE disadvantage I know that comes with doctor visits is that they are expensive.  If I didn’t have medical aid cover I know for a fact I would live through a lot of aches and pains and hope and pray they would disappear.

Below are some of the reasons why some Africans do not go to the doctor:

  • First the consultation and tests fees are too high, secondly they always diagnose you with something and lastly I fear of the unknown! @MadamVeeM
  • It’s in our culture to cure diseases with natural and cost effective remedies, if you cough you are given gum tree leaves to drink up.  If it’s a fever you get Panado Paracetamol.  @TKMRushwaya
  • Shortfalls are actual chest pains! Worse trying to claim! Better I go to the pharmacy and negotiate an anti-biotic and prescription! @Taffykinz
  • Doctors visits when you don’t have medical aid cover are pretty expensive. If you go to government hospitals you might not even get to be seen by a doctor! @Sun_Tzungie
  • You will end up getting results that you are HIV Positive and yet you thought you were down with a terrible cold this entire time!  @Ubuntu_Queen
  • Money is tight and if used for healthcare you will end up with no money for food and other responsibilities.@fadzij
  • The way healthcare is in Zimbabwe ,everyone is afraid of doctor’s bills…so they delay it, unless and until it becomes an emergency. @CltreDelicious
  • Genuinely afraid of needles if I have to get a shot and I’m also afraid of finding out I could have unknown conditions. @madamkerry

    PSMAS is the largest healthcare insurance in Zimbabwe and covers mostly civil servants.

I don’t want to lie.  Going to see the doctor is a nightmare, waiting for what feels like forever and a day, finding out the pharmacy doesn’t have your prescribed medication and worst of all being told there is a shortfall of however much that time there is no option of paying through plastic money…It’s nothing to look forward to and I don’t blame people for not wanting to put themselves through that.

However, in order to live longer we should all try to prevent things that can easily be prevented or managed.

What are your thoughts on the healthcare system in Zimbabwe?  What have been some of your best and worst experiences?  Those from other parts of the world, how is your healthcare system?

Let’s talk in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

UnPlugged Must-Haves

UnPlugged Magic: Love. Live. Music

I hope you have been preparing for UnPlugged because tomorrow it’s the place to be!  Your UnPlugged must-haves include items from clothes, to food to a couple of accessories.   Those of you going for the first time need to make sure you have some if not all of the things on the list below to make your UnPlugged experience all the more fun!

fdb570fd-4f1e-4f59-b76e-5c9bb4840ce6.jpg

Photo Credit: @mama_danai (Twitter) and her friend Rutendo

  • Sunglasses
  • Flat shoes (there will be a lot of dancing involved)
  • Shorts
  • Jeans
  • Floral summer dress
  • Hoodie or jacket (if you are planning to stay on till the evening)
  • Power bank
  • Selfie stick
  • Cooler box (make sure you stash a lot of ice and drinks of your choice(Vodka) in there)
  • Bottled water
  • Camping chairs
  • Picnic blanket
  • Backpack or sling bag
  • Toilet paper
  • Alcohol
  • Beer sticks
  • Biltong
  • Pizza(from Pizza Slice obviously)
  • Burgers (just make sure your crush won’t be coming along it might get messy
001f85d0-ac64-4bff-9527-5a05d0f5a584

The UnPlugged Look

What I love about UnPlugged is that you can bring your own food and drinks.  Thankfully there are food stalls so if you run out of your own stash you can always buy yourself something tasty to eat or drink.

You can pay via swipe, ecocash and cash unfortunately Zipit is not yet available.

Performing acts to look forward to at UnPlugged tomorrow include, Tariro neGitareMunyaradzi Nyamarebvu & Roots Kalimba and the “UnPluggers Choice”, WinkyD !!!

Still not convinced to come through?  Watch the UnPlugged Zimbabwe video from here to see what the vibe is like.

2dda499c-3d43-4da6-a56a-4f4a0d8ee972

Photo Credit: @mazishuga (Twitter)

UnPlugged Zimbabwe starts at 2pm and ends at 10pm.

Make sure you enjoy every moment and don’t forget to bring your friends and family.  If you are going to be drinking alcohol please make sure you have a sober designated driver so that you get home safe and sound.

20882758_1288830871227781_8448083174035552353_n.jpg

Have I left out any UnPlugged must-haves?  If yes, please feel free to drop them in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

Is This Your Enemy Of Progress?

I believe we all have that one thing that we know is an enemy of progress.  It can be laziness, lack of faith, that one ex who calls and suddenly has you thinking of taking them back, the love for money and even sex! Being an adult comes without a manual but through experience you get to know yourself better and realise when certain temptations hit all that progress you had made is about to come crumbling down…

51587abc68c59b1694c9c1d5ef9365cf.jpg

Image from Pinterest

My love for natural sweet white wine will be the death of me!  I just love it so much it may as well be my best friend.  Last year my poison was Vodka but it came with stomach cramps the next day.  I had an affair with red wine that didn’t last for long because I would have a splitting headache the next day.  I finally decided to try out white wine and I absolutely loved it!  I remember Chef Takura(single and very sexy but he has a beard so he isn’t a potential candidate) recommending it to me and it listening to him was the best decision I ever made.  The one thing I love about white wine is I usually have it from the comfort of my warm bed and just after two glasses I am off to la la land.  I prefer having it on the occasional weekend that way I don’t feel so guilty for indulging in something I know is an enemy of progress in the fitness department.  I have a bottle all weekend though, that’s much better than having 3 bottles during the course of a weekend, yes, no?  (trying to defend the error of my ways here)

94d020e6c83c380c0a7132f367134e31.jpg

Image from Pinterest

I have had days were my whole day has been mapped by the things I have read, seen or watched on social media.  There was a week when the #MenAreTrash hash tag was trending on almost all social media platforms.  It was the most heartbreaking week of my life.  The stories I read about what women go through left me feeling blue.  I remember sharing my own story on my timeline and after that all the negative thoughts and feelings from the past came back to haunt me.

The very same platforms that bear sad news also come with beautiful things such as travel, love, relationships all wrapped in one.  Now this stuff will make you wish you can order a partner just like the one you saw on Instagram!  Don’t do it to yourself, take it from me.  People will always show you the bright side of their lives and hardly ever the problems they are going through.  Next thing you will contemplate breaking up with your partner because they have not taken you for a surprise getaway weekend to Italy, you will die from stress o!  To make matters worse you can actually go an entire morning surfing through the internet giving yourself self inflicted stress.  This is why you should stick to reading blogs like mine instead, nothing but good times only here.  However, I have found a way to deal with this and that is by simply taking time off social media.  Spend your time on other fulfilling activities that will not leave you green with envy or constantly comparing your life with the next person. Remember that comparison will steal your joy.  Do not let this be your enemy of progress!

4f8ee7ce1e9983251780982720fc52fc.jpg

Image from Pinterest

Negative energy is real.  Ever noticed how some people just love to complain about any and everything and once you are done talking to them you wonder why you are feeling miserable.  I am one person who values their peace of mind.  There are so many things going wrong in our country that could easily send you straight to your death while you are asleep the last thing you need is spending time with a “Negative Nancy”.  I understand that we all have problems and sometimes all you want to do is vent and get someone else to listen to you.  That’s perfectly fine but it is NOT okay to vent for an entire day.  Do you have any idea how that drains the next person?  Please do not do it to your loved ones.  If you decide to vent by all means do so but with all the venting make sure you come up with a solution to the problem together and act on it.  No one wants to spend time with negative people, they steal your joy.  Next time someone tries to ruin your day remember that it is your right to protect your peace and you can politely tell them to take their negative energy elsewhere.

I would love to hear from you.  What are some of your enemies of progress and how do deal with them?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

Chop Chop Brazilian Steak House

We have long since agreed that I am a lover of fine things so it will come as no surprise that I already got to check out the new joint in town, Chop Chop Brazilian Steak House.  This was actually a surprise outing so I was not looking the part so there will be no filtered selfies in this post.  The plus side of this place is that it’s right in town and just a 5 minute walk from my place of residence.  I was excited to find out if they had better service than News Cafe Fife Avenue because this was going to determine if they will be my go to place when I am feeling lazy to cook.

18676674_10213066335193598_1151050017_o.jpg

I am one of those individuals who always asks the person waiting on me which dish I should try if I am at a new place.  I didn’t want to have chicken, I have eaten it in so many different forms it’s the last thing I want to eat when I go out.  She recommended I try out the Chop Chop Pizza.  In the interim I ordered a cappuccino and I was disappointed when it came through.  This cappuccino looked unhappy and malnourished; it didn’t even have a smiley face.  I have seen happier cappuccino’s in my life to be honest.  I am particular about the small details and this already got me less excited.

18644487_10213066334833589_1874515033_n.jpg

USD2 😦

I took it in slowly while I waited on the pizza which surprisingly didn’t take long.  I am sure the wait was just 5 minutes and it was ready.  My Blesser Lite ordered chicken and chips and it was then that I realised there was nothing green in both our plates.  When the waitress came we ordered a veggie mix and I felt so much relief because food doesn’t make sense for me if it isn’t colourful.

18721615_10213066335233599_144327461_o.jpg

Behold the Chop Chop Pizza

Prices for image above:

Cappuccino : USD2

Mixed Veggies : USD3

Chop Chop Pizza : USD8

The presentation was alright but the truth is when I took my first bite of the pizza I was not wowed.  I always insist that if you eat out the experience must be a shock to the system.  I mean what’s the point if you pay for a meal that doesn’t impress you, might as well not go right?  I expected more from them, the way it had been hyped and the way I was excited each time I ran past the building watching renovations taking place during my morning jog… it was a real train smash.

18698962_10213066636841139_1235157327_o

USD11

 

We ordered dessert and I chose Apple Crumble because it tastes divine; they serve it with ice cream but I’m used to having it with custard but there is always room to try new things.  The apple crumble did not disappoint, I loved every bite of it!  I didn’t know how to combine it with the ice cream so I just had a spoonful here and there till I had finished it.

18721651_10213066335553607_691680774_o.jpg

USD4

My Blesser Lite loves things and even though he insisted he was full after eating a whole half chicken and chips he ordered a chocolate cake which he didn’t finish because he complained that it was too rich.

18721056_10213066636801138_1367134519_o

USD4

I would have eaten the remaining cake myself if I still had space for it!  I was stuffed.  I only ate 2 slices of pizza, part of his chips and part of the salad and I was good.  I had to ask the waitress to pack away my food because I had plans for it for today.  I will probably have it for lunch.  I ordered a glass of hot water with lemon because I felt too full and needed something to make the bloated feeling go away.

18679184_10213066335113596_1583430766_n.jpg

The face you make when you are officially stuffed!

The few things I liked about the place were:

  • The waitress was helpful
  • The restaurant is clean
  • The dessert was alright
  • They have both a swipe and Ecocash facility

I did not like:

  • The food was bland, we may as well have gone to Pizza Slice and had a better meal
  • The ambiance was nothing to ride home about
  • I don’t recall any music being played
  • The experience was nothing out of the ordinary

I think the only thing that made the evening bearable was the fact that I had good company otherwise had I been on my own I would have not lasted 10 minutes in there.  On a scale of 0-10, 10 being completely satisfied with my experience I will give Chop Chop Brazilian Steak House a 4.  I would like to believe they are still new in town and probably after a few weeks in the business they will up their game.  I have faith in them because it would be nice to come back to something that will bedazzle me.

In my opinion Chop Chop is Pizza Slice that went to Private School.

The End

©MaKupsy 2017

The Other Woman

Love her or hate her, the other woman exists and chances are she will continue to exist till the end of time.  I’m not saying your boyfriend or husband has her; not all men are cut out for that.  However, if you are one of the unfortunate few he has one and it is highly likely that she is not going anywhere anytime soon.

cheating-couples-holding-hands.jpg

Image from Google

I was the other woman, once upon a time…how did I end up there?  A case of a long distance relationship gone wrong and after that I told myself I was not going to do relationships until further notice so a situationship was more ideal for me then.  Couple that with insecurities from a failed relationship and not realising my worth, I easily settled for being the other woman in a heartbeat.  I used to enjoy the thrill of the secret relationship, the attention was priceless because he would try to compensate for the time he was not able to be with me.

This is a phase in my life I look back to and ask myself what the heck was I thinking? But you know what they say, everything that happens to you is a learning curve.  Thankfully that phase only lasted a short while and was over before it even started because I clearly could not stand being an option in his life.  Believe me when I tell you that kind of emotional stress is not good for anyone, at all!   Ask me if I will ever travel down that road again?  The answer is a definite NO!  It was a phase I am not proud of to date.

That is one of my favourite tracks by Changing Faces – The Other Woman and they are mainly singing about why they are no longer willing to share a man because they have finally realised what they deserve. (love is not so blind after all) However, not all women share the same sentiments because below are a few who are currently the other woman and not complaining about it.

“I enjoy the financial benefits that come with being the other woman, I have never worked a day in my life and “my husband” provides me and our children with everything we need.” Small House

“Sex with someone who isn’t my boyfriend every once in a while is a thrilling experience, you know what they say about variety being the spice of life.” The SexAHolic

“There is a sense of adventure, things done in secret give me an adrenaline rush and I got hooked to it I simply can’t stop.” The Side Chic

“I don’t have to worry about attending funerals, washing his clothes, cooking for him, I get to see him at his best and get to spend quality time with him.” The Cougar

“I get my rent paid, my child taken care of, endless outings, someone to sponsor my drinking habit and never having to worry about how I am going to put food on the table, that’s his job!” The Alcoholic

“Since we don’t see each other often when I do see him there is no time for fighting, I always look forward to seeing him.” Miss No Pressure

“I have been lied to and deceived one too many times, it is better to be with a married guy who won’t make empty promises to me.” Miss Content

“I have my own money, I can take care of myself but I don’t have the time for a full on relationship.  I only see him as and when I am free because I have a busy schedule so being the other woman works for me.” Miss Independent 

Relationships are complicated if you let them be, but from my experience being the other woman never ends well.  It seems for the women above it is working to their advantage and they are happy.  I say, life is too short so one must do whatever makes them happy as long as it gives them sleep at night.

What’s your take on the “other woman”?  I am happy to read on both negative and possibly positive things you have to say about her in the comments section below.

©MaKupsy 2017

The Single Independent Mother

I have some saving tips from a single mother who is in her 40’s.  I think everyone will benefit from this post and I took this pretty seriously because she clearly has more years experience on raising a child single-handedly.  Take out your pen and paper…

  1. Cut your hair, imagine the amount of money you are spending on hairdos that you could be saving for better use for you and your child.
  2. Live within your means.
  3. Do not compare yourself with people who are married, they have a double income you only have one, stay in your lane.
  4. Save some money each month, it doesn’t matter how little, trust me it will go a long way.
  5. Do not buy on credit, especially clothes, save to pay everything with cash.
  6. Take a lunchbox to work with healthy home made meals or sandwiches.
  7. Make friends with women in a similar situation who understand your struggles better.
  8. Do what works for you, do not try to please anyone.
  9. Set targets for yourself and make sure you reach them, it might take time but eventually you will get there.
  10. Learn how to sew, simple things like replacing a button and hemming your pants will go a long way for your pocket.

If you live by most of these rules you might actually get round to going for that holiday you have been dying for!

81f03636-37d4-4f61-88d4-54a7a0b707e3.jpg

Photo Credit : @summer_rose_ (Instagram)

©MaKupsy 2017

Speak Things Into Existence

Believe me when I tell you that the universe pays attention when you speak.  Many moons ago I wished for a tall, good looking man who dressed up nice and would shower me with flowers; I have a serious weakness for them it’s insane.  I used to tell my colleagues almost everyday how my handsome prince would come for me and guess what, months down the line I was in a relationship with a guy who fit those specifications to a tee.   Like how was that even possible?

I remember this one time I tagged along when my friend when she was going to court.  I was heavily pregnant at the time and when I saw the women standing in line for Child Maintenance issues I said; “One day I will be standing in line too given the drama we are always going through with the father of my child”.  Again I tell you, the universe pays attention, I was in that exact same line 5 years later going through the most.  I spoke this into existence and I don’t even know why I was surprised when it actually happened.

234de6bc2b3d15bff981d792ef7acc74

image from Pinterest

Thankfully, there are some pretty good things that have happened.  The one time I was going through pictures on the internet and wishing for a holiday.  Something about the Christmas holiday makes me feel like travelling.  I had my eyes on Cape Town and told myself it was going to happen and it did!  My sister is the best for making it happen and you should find yourself a sister just like her!

From my experience when it comes to self talk, the more positive things you say to yourself the better your experience outcomes.  When I started my fitness journey I was outspoken; most people didn’t understand how a “big” woman could have so much self love but they were never ready for the extra confidence that would come once I lost the weight.   I used to go for my runs without music just to have a chance to speak to myself and encourage myself throughout the run.  I would tell myself things like:

  • You’ve got this, just one more kilometer to go
  • Wait till you do your weigh in tomorrow and see how much work you have put in
  •  They are not ready for the after run photo I am going to post on Instagram
  • Who would have thought I would ever run 10K
  • The way I am smashing that cellulite on my thighs right now though
  • Girl you are on fire did you hear that pace on the voice over!

You see, all that self talk got me to push myself and my body to the limit.  Imagine if I had been telling myself negative things.  This body would have never come to life, it’s a pity I can’t show it to you, it’s still illegal to walk around naked this part of the world.

I have a whole list of other positive things that I have asked the universe to grant me after I realised she actually pays attention.  No more random negative thoughts because I certainly don’t want to end up in situations I will dearly regret.  Lately I ask for good health, success, financial security, a whole Land Rover Discovery (in red of course), to be the first Nike Woman in Zimbabwe and a rich husband.  Speak things into existence people!!

In whatever you do, be good to yourself.  Speak of all the beautiful things about yourself and those around you and the universe will also respond positively.

What are some of the things you speak into existence?  Have any of them come to life, care to share?

©MaKupsy 2017

Self Worth

I got this message from a friend on mine through WhatsApp.  I thought I would share it here, it’s quite thought provoking.

hqdefault.jpg

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

‘What kind of man are you looking for?’

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in
the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said,
Yes.

She began to expound,

‘As a woman in this day & age, I am in a
position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for
myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the
help of any man… or woman for that matter. I am in the position to
ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated,

‘I am not referring to money. I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said,
‘I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need
conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.
I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I
don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is
a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business.  I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said,

‘You are asking for a lot.’

She replied, “I’m worth a lot”. Send this to every woman
who’s worth a lot…. and every man who has the brains to
understand!!!

12-things-happy-couples-talk-about-and-feel-closer.jpg

Let’s talk about this piece; your thoughts ladies and gentleman!

P.S. I have no idea who wrote this please credit them if you do.

©MaKupsy 2017