5 Tips On How To Survive In Zimbabwe

You’re going to need survival skills if you’re going to make it out alive in Zimbabwe.  All I can say about the current situation is that…It’s A LOT.  I had a time I said to myself it’s just a phase it’s going to get better, just give it a few more weeks and all will be well.

Just yesterday I finally bumped into a lady who was selling avocados; to say I was delighted to see her is an understatement.  I’ve been craving avocados for the past few weeks but couldn’t seem to find them.  The store bought ones taste different;  I have a certain type I like and the lady I bought from happened to have exactly that.  To my surprise instead of the normal 40 cents I’m used to paying she told me that they were now going for 75 cents.  I bought the avocado grudgingly because I thought it’s just an avocado what has changed?

Sadly the current economic situation has gone from the frying pan to the fire.  Prices are changing every other day or being charged in United States Dollars in some shops that time my earnings remain in the Bond Notes currency.  Instead of sitting around worrying about how my life is going to filled with nothing but stress I’ve decided to compile a few tips for my own sanity’s sake.  I hope they will help you too and even better you can share more tips on how we’re going to ride this blustering wave.  We’re going to be making a lot of uncomfortable changes.

Zezuru Rockstar Image.jpg

Image from @ZezuruRockstar

1. Food

Did you know that bread is now going for $1.50?  It used to be a whole buck and you could actually afford to eat bread every single day.  Before you decide to deprive yourself of bread completely like I’ve done you can have a better alternative.  You know how some supermarkets make their own bread?  Yes, that loaf of bread is way cheaper and goes for a cool 80 cents.  Who needs sliced bread when you have a bread knife at home or you can ask the bakery section of the supermarket to slice it for you once you choose the loaf you want?

You can extend this approach to other things as well. If you were buying meat for $15 before just buy for that amount and be happy that you actually have meat. It could be worse…There’s always an alternative or a bargain buy, get your thinking cap on and your eyes on social media.

2. Transport

Not too many moons ago there was a fuel shortage in Zimbabwe.  I remember my friend telling me she was stressed out about the situation and my first solution was to tell her to leave her car at home and use public transport instead.  That way she wouldn’t be worried about where she would get fuel from and not be involved in traffic congestion.  The fuel is now readily available but the traffic congestion is still very much.  I’m not a fan of our mode of public transportation; commuter omnibuses.  My friend Larry calls them “death traps”.  However, they maneuver through traffic like it’s nothing and you don’t have to deal with road rage.  All you have to do is pay your fare and hope and pray you arrive alive.  If you still don’t want to try out my tip then I’ll have you know that studies suggest that…

“One of the stress triggers while driving during a traffic jam is impatience—having to wait for the traffic to move and dealing with the mistakes of other motorists on the road.  Stress, according to psychiatrist Emily Deans of Psychology Today, is a “killer disease” that makes people vulnerable to other diseases and even depression.”

Do you want a stress filled life or a happy life?  The choice is yours.

3. Entertainment 

House parties are going to become an actual thing.  When it happens tell everyone you read it from here first.  The beauty of these is there’s no entrance fee and no need to buy alcohol at some insane amount.  All you need is a homey venue, lots of ice, good company and snacks.  You’re going to have to make sure you eat before you leave the house most people can’t afford to be dishing out meals left, right and centre.  Or better yet bring your own meat and do a braai at the house, just make sure you guard the braai stand 🙂

4. Hair Care

  • Learn how to do it yourself.  I’m a pro at African Threading.  If you have internet access YouTube tutorials will soon be your best friend.
  • Change the location of where you get your hair done.  There are still places around town that aren’t charging exorbitant prices.  Out of town is your best bet, just make sure you get a referral you don’t want to get disappointed by trying out someone you don’t know.
  • If all else fails go for a big chop, it’s just hair, it will grow back.

5Make More Money

You’re going to have to figure out a way to create multiple streams of income because one is clearly not going to help you through this situation.  Look deep into your natural talents.  Are you good at a certain skill?  Then charge for it.  Do you know somewhere you can outsource something people really need and sell it a profitable amount?  Then get started on it.  Do you have an idea you’ve been meaning to implement but were too scared to try out?  Then there’s no time like the present, go out and create those avenues because the only way you’re going to enjoy spending money is when you’re making money.

*BONUS TIP* Pack your bags and sell your belongings and leave while you still can.  I don’t know where to though because most countries don’t seem to like Zimbabweans.  

My biggest concern lately is medication and I have no clue how to solve that one.  Almost all pharmacies are charging in United States Dollars.  I know we can turn to supplementing with natural herbs or prayer or both but my question is to what end?  I’d love to hear from you.  What are you doing to find calm in all this madness?

May God be with us…

©MaKupsy 2018

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Miss Petty

I think people just take advantage of me sometimes and when I look at it it’s not a good thing at all.  I always complain on my Twitter timeline about how my work colleagues are constantly asking me for one thing or the other.  If it’s not coffee, it’s probably juice, or a sandwich, a piece of whatever I would have packed in my lunchbox or whatever I happen to be eating at the time, pain killers, tampons, yes; they don’t stop at food!  I have just about had it and even after telling them to buy their own supplies they insist on coming back to ask for my things.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind sharing but what I do mind is the same person (people) who keep asking me for something all the damn time!

Let me break it down…I had a whole 500g tin of coffee just a few months back and someone discovered that and since that day him and another colleague were coming to my desk almost everyday to ask for coffee.  I didn’t mind the first week but after that I clearly told them that it was not on and they had to buy their own coffee but alas, it was certainly falling on deaf ears.  They went on to finish the whole tin and you think they replaced it? NO.  Did they keep coming back to ask for coffee?  Of course not, but listen to this, one of them actually had the audacity to ask me “When are you buying some more coffee?”   The freaking nerve!  I simply ignored him.  I know you are reading this and probably thinking MaKupsy is a tad bit petty but this is a real problem and I am actually pretty upset about it and I know if I write about it I will feel a whole lot better.

MaKupsy healthy lunch.jpg

Image from Google

I pack a lunchbox to take to work on most days.  The reason behind it is because I prefer my home cooked meals and healthy sandwich options that I can prepare on my own plus I save a lot of money while I am at it.  I remember when I first started working at my current work place everyone would laugh and ask why I would pack a lunchbox at my age and I was puzzled to note that a packed lunchbox had an age restriction, really??  Anyways, after they realised what was in my lunchbox the “Can I have a a bite” requests were endless, at first I would share but later on I decided this is crazy, I only have one child and I don’t remember taking her to work with me so these very able bodied people should leave my lunchbox alone!

Then there is the tampon issue.  I think that every woman should keep tampons or sanitary wear on her person and if she goes to work it would be ideal to keep a stash in her office drawer because it’s the surest way of preventing “accidents”.  I work with grown ass women, women way older than me (who you would assume are more organised than me) but trust me I am guaranteed that one of them will come to me asking for a tampon; which I gladly give them because these things happen.  What I then don’t understand is how you continue to come back month after month and expecting to get a tampon from me.  Where in the world do you think these tampons are coming from?  Definitely not Santa Clause!!  I happen to BUY my tampons and they should be doing the same too.  Better still, after asking from me so many times how about actually replacing my freaking tampons!!! So now whenever anyone comes to ask for them I simply say I don’t have any because there is a pharmacy right downstairs and they should go there and buy themselves a whole packet for all I care.

I am feeling better already after venting about this.  I am not social welfare people and my patience has been tried for too long, from now on I won’t give anyone anything because I am sick of people taking advantage of me!

©MaKupsy 2018

To Give Or Not To Give Your Girlfriend A Monthly Allowance?

Girlfriend  Giving Directions To Her Boyfriend

“Come to the front gate of my apartment where you dropped me off.  Look for flat 9A, you’ll find a lift on your right.  Hit 9 with your ELBOW.  Get out of the lift, you’ll find my flat on the left.  Hit the doorbell with your ELBOW and I’ll get the door for you.”

Boyfriend says: That seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Girlfriend: “OMG! Are you coming empty handed?”

Boyfriend: (speechless)

DSC_1949.jpg

I thought this was hilarious because some men are famous for visiting their girlfriends with just dick and hairy balls, like can we throw those in a pan and fry them for supper?  Women are not saying buy them something everyday but why not think outside the box for a change and surprise a lady with something she likes??

One of my contacts sent me that joke on WhatsApp last night and it gave me an idea to blog about this morning.  Let’s talk about Bae Allowance shall we?

Screenshot_2015-12-11-09-44-19-1-1.jpg

Photo Credit Theo & Essy

Bae Allowance – Money a guy gives his girlfriend at the end of each month for her random needs.

Let me first give you my thoughts on the subject matter.  This might end up being a lengthy blog but I promise you will enjoy it.  Let me tell you a bit about my very first boyfriend.  That guy treated me like a little princess.  He never missed a birthday, anniversary, special event, good or bad moment.  We were through it all through thick and thin.  The whole 5 years that we dated I never asked for a single dime of his money.  He just did things because he wanted to and not because I had to beg and plead for him to do so.  Maybe because back then I was younger and had less problems but I believe even if we had stayed together he was still going to be that guy who takes care of his woman without her throwing tantrums about it.  After dating other people after him I can safely say that people are different and just because he went above and beyond for me doesn’t mean the next guy will do the same.

For that reason I have since learnt to accept that one should always live within their means and not expect the next person to cater to their every single need.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your man should not spoil you but you don’t have to convince him to do so, he has to do so on his own accord.  Guys already know that a woman needs to be pampered every now and again and so if he isn’t doing it for you it’s either he doesn’t want to or he is just not that into you (JUST KIDDING).  I for one would not want a fixed monthly allowance though, that’s just tacky because if the tables were turned trust me I would not be paying anyone an allowance for being a part of my life.  I have a daughter on my  payroll as it is, I don’t think I can make anymore additions to that!

I asked a few friends; both male and female about their thoughts on Bae Allowance and these were their thoughts:

The ladies said:

  • I think if it’s a serious relationship it’s not meant to be an obligation; both are meant to help each other out.  In a case were both work rather do  things for each other than give each other money otherwise it will seem like it’s all about money.
  • l feel most guys should give their girlfriends bae allowance.  That way  you avoid having to constantly say “Baby my hair is a mess l need money, baby my nails what not.  Just give her the monthly allowance so that you don’t stress each other out every other week.  IT’S NOT A MUST THOUGH.

The guys said:

  • There should not be a fixed mandatory Bae Allowance in a relationship.  It is of paramount importance that an individual be self sufficient that way I can chip in here and there.  It’s important to take care of your partner (what you don’t do for her, she will find someone else who can) but it should not be made out into a big deal when I can’t do it all the time.
  • If you’re my girlfriend don’t ask me for anything that costs $5 or less because what were you doing for money before we started dating? Now you suddenly want my money.  I should feel like spending on you willingly.  I’m not a bank and understand that when I say I don’t have money most of the time I genuinely don’t have because money is hard to come by.  I will spend on her but allowance I don’t do… It’s like I’m paying you to be my girlfriend!

There you have it.  Both sexes have voiced out their opinions.

As an addition I just had to say this.  Fine, I know I am not for a woman actually getting to be on her boyfriends payroll but some of these guys are cheap skates.  If you actually don’t even ask him to buy you anything he will actually continue to do so and not see anything wrong with that.  Let me ask the guys a question.  How are you going to date your girlfriend for a whole year and not once surprise her with a set of sexy lingerie?  So you are an expert at taking off her clothes but not buying her anything to add sexiness to her lingerie collection??  Also, why do some guys just want to take women out for drinks when the same amount can be used for a proper lunch, dinner or better still coffee date?  Okay fine, that is completely off topic now.

This is the part I say goodbye.

My friends from the Podcast world got excited about this topic and touched on the subject.  You can listen in from here.

©MaKupsy 2018

No Romance Without Finance!

You better get a J.O.B if you wanna be with me!  Dating has just gone to that next level if you ask me.  Gone are the days you used to enjoy leisurely walks, go for a picnic or enjoy ice-cream cones with your significant other.  These days it’s about how much money a man pursuing you can splurge on a date.  Goodbye creativity because as far as I have observed the most that will happen is a night out of drinking expensive alcohol and actually not getting to talk to and get to know the next person.  It leaves me asking myself, why are people dating?

unhappy-young-black-couple-back-to-back.jpg

Image from Google

There’s a world of reasons why people decide to date:

  1. Dating for companionship
  2. Dating for sex
  3. Dating for free food
  4. Dating to have someone take care of your financial needs
  5. Dating to find a life partner
  6. Dating out of loneliness

There are obviously more reasons why people date but those are the first few that crossed my mind.

One of my male Blogger friends said;

“A lot of Zimbabwean men are too eager to spend money on women.  Not even in the club when you’re trying to take her home for a one-nighter but when looking for an actual relationship men do the most!”

Some men date for fun and if that’s your cup of tea by all means let that money fall on the flavour of the night; after all you have nothing to lose even if it involves you selling your belongings or ending up neck deep in debt trying to impress a woman then go ahead. From what I hear and read everything men do is to get laid.  They work hard to get more money to buy fancy cars, phones, homes so that they can get laid!  It is after all to make an impression and get between her legs right?  You get laid, she gets a fancy night or two out everyone is happy, yes, no, maybe?

Most women love things, me included but it seems most of them are taking this loving things a bit too far.  Just the other day there was talk on Twitter about how Zimbabwean women want things that they can barely afford and expect whoever they are dating to provide it for them.  Example, demanding a date at Victoria 22 that time you can’t even afford to buy a single glass of wine if you tried to go there on your own.  Dear Zimbabwean men, there is nothing wrong with your woman wanting nice things but if you can’t afford it it’s perfectly okay to tell her that it won’t be happening anytime soon.  At the same time, ladies, if you can’t afford to go there yourself then maybe just maybe try and go somewhere else and come back when it’s something you can both afford?  Then again most people date someone who can upgrade them in all aspects and if you are dating someone who can’t upgrade you then maybe you need to reevaluate things?  Or maybe that’s just too drastic it is after all just a date!

Money makes the world go round but it’s the same money that will ruin a perfectly great relationship if you don’t address the issue in the right light from the get go.  I love beautiful things, I really do; but I want to enjoy well thought out dates that show creativity and have a personal touch to them that will leave me with a beautiful memory for years to come.

love and money.jpg

image from Pinterest

What are your thoughts; is dating about money?  Do you think your potential or current significant other should break their budget to impress you or there are other ways of winning your heart that don’t come in the form of spending?

Should we be going out of control on dates? Is it necessary? Desired? A turn off? Ladies do you like it? Men do you like it? Both when it’s done to you and if or when you have to do it?  So many questions and I would love to hear your answers.

We have an exciting blogging group on WhatsApp (Blog Indaba); its a meeting place for Bloggers who want to improve their blogging and if you would like to be a part of it no matter where in the world you are, please contact me so that you can join in the fun.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Day 19: Your Career Your Choice?

On the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge today’s topic is “Why Did You Choose Your Career Path.  I’m a qualified Secretary and now that you know what I do let’s talk about the fun stuff!

What did YOU want to be when you were growing up?  I know with my generation everyone wanted to be a doctor, a nurse, a teacher, a soldier an accountant, a businessman or a pilot.  Those seemed to be the only options one had to choose from in order to be labelled successful.  I on the other hand was completely different.  I had other plans on my mind and none of those occupations tickled my fancy.  I had different dreams and who knows some might still come true in this lifetime.  I always felt that if I became or got to do some of the things on my list I would be happier; so here is my list of things I thought I would one day do once I was all grown up.

c51265e4eae0965ee6532c04c235cd48.jpg

Image from Pinterest

  1. Study choreography.  I love to dance,(not professionally) think naughty suggestive shake your ass like a salt shaker type of moves.  I’ve always felt that if I had the opportunity to actually study dance I would have one job I would love and literally run to every day because I can never get enough of all the dance styles that keep being created every single day.  Seeing that the choreography dream isn’t coming true soon enough I have taken to never leaving the dance-floor when I go out to party.  You should see my moves, Beyonce ain’t got nothing on me!
  2. Music.  Sometime in my early 20’s I thought being a DJ wouldn’t be a bad idea considering the way I love my music.  I remember applying for some voice over positions and that never materialised.  A friend who happens to be a DJ needed some Voice Over’s done for his music mix and approached me some  years back.  I enjoyed the few seconds of fame and loved hearing the sound of my voice.  I figured it wasn’t too late to pursue that career but what else must one do after being a Voice Over Artist?  However, this is definitely a dream that can still come to life if I put my mind to it; I just have to make it a side gig because the way Zimbabwe is set up you can’t make it your end and all!
  3. Counsellor.  I would like to believe I am an attentive listener and once I put my mind to it I will encourage someone to talk about issues they feel they cannot normally share with other people.  I already have a qualification in HIV/ AIDS Care and Counselling so one day when the opportunity arises I will step up and use it.  Methinks studying couselling works to my advantage because people feel safe to share their problems with me.  In this case health and fitness problems and I’m always willing to help no matter what time of day.
  4. Globe Trotter.  I wanted to travel the world. I didn’t want to have a permanent address.  I wanted my life to be different and planned that each year I would stay in say Kenya for one year, then move to India the following year and off to Netherlands, anywhere but home was going to be absolutely perfect for me.  I wanted to learn about different cultures and traditions while I enjoyed being on a travel adventure.  Alas, that hasn’t happened yet, but on the upside I have travelled to some parts of the world and still plan on travelling beyond Africa.
a77b78677f98248f9a6d5634c50f78c8.jpg

Image from Pinterest

I have a fun personality and I want to do things that unleash my character.  My current job doesn’t allow that though, it was an occupation chosen on my behalf and each day I make steps towards pursuing what I want and find a way to escape from a job that steals my joy.  I know it’s not too late to give what I love the most my full attention.  I want to leave this earth knowing I did everything that brought joy to my life.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” — Steve Jobs

©MaKupsy 2017

Why Do (we) Africans Fear Doctor Visits?

I grew up in a family where healthcare was a big part of our tradition.  My parents always had annual medical checkups and this tradition easily became part of my life throughout the years.  The fear of doctors is not something new to most people in Africa because most of us don’t visit the doctor for a vast number of reasons.  I want to touch on healthcare; share some of my experiences and also let you know what some my friends on social media have to say about healthcare in our country, Zimbabwe.

90% of Zimbabweans are not on medical aid.

24ef29eededd416150183f00d92ad83c.jpg

Image from Pinterest

I asked a friend of mine, Claire, why it is important to go for doctor visits.  She is currently working in Anesthetics as an Intern at Parirenyatwa Hospital.

6278ac45-83b2-42b4-b651-f350264a05de.jpg

Claire Gweredza-Hondo

3 Reasons Why Doctor Visits Are Important:

  1. It’s one thing to be exercising and trying to eat healthy but it’s also equally important to have regular checkups at the doctor at least once a year.  Having your doctor see you on a regular helps detect disease or illness early.  Checkups include but are not limited to screening for cancers, high blood pressure, cholesterol and dental check ups.
  2. Going for regular check ups helps with establishing a good doctor-patient relationship because you get to spend more time together.  You eventually get comfortable sharing your health problems and that fear and anxiety lessens.
  3. Getting yourself on medical aid cover means you are actually saving money.  You are investing now to prevent disease that was going to cost you more when diagnosed later.  For example, getting cervical cancer screening with Viac or Pap smear might seem not worth it now but it can save a lot of money in the long run.  When diagnosed late, there will be need for chemotherapy and radiotherapy which cost thousands in the long run.

The ONE disadvantage I know that comes with doctor visits is that they are expensive.  If I didn’t have medical aid cover I know for a fact I would live through a lot of aches and pains and hope and pray they would disappear.

Below are some of the reasons why some Africans do not go to the doctor:

  • First the consultation and tests fees are too high, secondly they always diagnose you with something and lastly I fear of the unknown! @MadamVeeM
  • It’s in our culture to cure diseases with natural and cost effective remedies, if you cough you are given gum tree leaves to drink up.  If it’s a fever you get Panado Paracetamol.  @TKMRushwaya
  • Shortfalls are actual chest pains! Worse trying to claim! Better I go to the pharmacy and negotiate an anti-biotic and prescription! @Taffykinz
  • Doctors visits when you don’t have medical aid cover are pretty expensive. If you go to government hospitals you might not even get to be seen by a doctor! @Sun_Tzungie
  • You will end up getting results that you are HIV Positive and yet you thought you were down with a terrible cold this entire time!  @Ubuntu_Queen
  • Money is tight and if used for healthcare you will end up with no money for food and other responsibilities.@fadzij
  • The way healthcare is in Zimbabwe ,everyone is afraid of doctor’s bills…so they delay it, unless and until it becomes an emergency. @CltreDelicious
  • Genuinely afraid of needles if I have to get a shot and I’m also afraid of finding out I could have unknown conditions. @madamkerry

    PSMAS is the largest healthcare insurance in Zimbabwe and covers mostly civil servants.

I don’t want to lie.  Going to see the doctor is a nightmare, waiting for what feels like forever and a day, finding out the pharmacy doesn’t have your prescribed medication and worst of all being told there is a shortfall of however much that time there is no option of paying through plastic money…It’s nothing to look forward to and I don’t blame people for not wanting to put themselves through that.

However, in order to live longer we should all try to prevent things that can easily be prevented or managed.

What are your thoughts on the healthcare system in Zimbabwe?  What have been some of your best and worst experiences?  Those from other parts of the world, how is your healthcare system?

Let’s talk in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

How To : Breakfast

I have heard so many people tell me that they never have time to have breakfast.  I still can’t get used to that statement because for me breakfast is the most important meal of the day and when I have it I have it like the true queen that I am!  The great thing about breakfast is that it’s not a hectic meal and it can usually be ready in 10 minutes depending on what it is you choose to eat.  Let me help you break this breakfast thing down.

Who

Everyone should have breakfast, whether you are young, old, fit or unfit.

What

It entirely depends on the individual in question but something filling and balanced with all the nutrients is advisable.  Depending on time you can really go all out and make a :

  1. Full English Breakfast (I usually prepare this on weekends when I have time and I will be full till lunch time on this); 
  2. Fruit salad
  3. Sandwiches packed with different crunchy bits such as bacon, cucumber, chicken, lettuce, red onion the works!
  4. Omelette which can include a whole range of fresh vegetables and meat.
  5. Smoothies
  6. Breakfast cereal though I don’t eat it myself because it is highly processed and most of it is packed with sugars.  I prefer whole grain cereal specifically oats because these keep me fuller for longer.

*I strongly recommend that you cook for yourself; that way you are in control of what you eat and what you put in your food.*

de3e422d-8eea-44e8-8517-49b926c0157a

Photo Credit: @smilesobright23 (Instagram)

Where

When you have time then by all means have your breakfast from the comfort of your home.  A nice and relaxed environment will make you enjoy your food even better.  However; if you are like me and are almost always late for work then by all means pack a lunchbox that you can have from your desk come tea time.  Make sure you at least have a fruit before you leave the house; or when you get to the office.  It’s completely up to you but please eat something healthy.

Why

Below are some of the reasons why it is important to eat breakfast:

  • Fuel!  I work out A LOT and it would never make sense for me to skip meals because how will I have the energy to exercise?
  • Reduce the risk of starving and over eating later on.  I know this from experience.  If I eat right in the morning chances of me craving or snacking till lunch time are close to none.
  • Weight management.
  • Focus.  When you are full it’s easier to focus on tasks at hand.  You definitely won’t be spending your time thinking of what you can eat.
  • Save.  I for one can tell you that ever since I started packing a lunchbox or having my meals from home I have saved quite a bit of money.  You would never see me buying a sandwich for $1.50 in Pick n Pay even if my life depended on it!
26000546-d817-4d0f-80ab-210237a430a8.jpg

Photo Credit: @smilesobright23 (Instagram)

According to researchers skipping breakfast can cause fat to form around the belly; which increases the risk of disease…Now tell me why you would want to miss breakfast??

Fitness Bae®

Is This Your Enemy Of Progress?

I believe we all have that one thing that we know is an enemy of progress.  It can be laziness, lack of faith, that one ex who calls and suddenly has you thinking of taking them back, the love for money and even sex! Being an adult comes without a manual but through experience you get to know yourself better and realise when certain temptations hit all that progress you had made is about to come crumbling down…

51587abc68c59b1694c9c1d5ef9365cf.jpg

Image from Pinterest

My love for natural sweet white wine will be the death of me!  I just love it so much it may as well be my best friend.  Last year my poison was Vodka but it came with stomach cramps the next day.  I had an affair with red wine that didn’t last for long because I would have a splitting headache the next day.  I finally decided to try out white wine and I absolutely loved it!  I remember Chef Takura(single and very sexy but he has a beard so he isn’t a potential candidate) recommending it to me and it listening to him was the best decision I ever made.  The one thing I love about white wine is I usually have it from the comfort of my warm bed and just after two glasses I am off to la la land.  I prefer having it on the occasional weekend that way I don’t feel so guilty for indulging in something I know is an enemy of progress in the fitness department.  I have a bottle all weekend though, that’s much better than having 3 bottles during the course of a weekend, yes, no?  (trying to defend the error of my ways here)

94d020e6c83c380c0a7132f367134e31.jpg

Image from Pinterest

I have had days were my whole day has been mapped by the things I have read, seen or watched on social media.  There was a week when the #MenAreTrash hash tag was trending on almost all social media platforms.  It was the most heartbreaking week of my life.  The stories I read about what women go through left me feeling blue.  I remember sharing my own story on my timeline and after that all the negative thoughts and feelings from the past came back to haunt me.

The very same platforms that bear sad news also come with beautiful things such as travel, love, relationships all wrapped in one.  Now this stuff will make you wish you can order a partner just like the one you saw on Instagram!  Don’t do it to yourself, take it from me.  People will always show you the bright side of their lives and hardly ever the problems they are going through.  Next thing you will contemplate breaking up with your partner because they have not taken you for a surprise getaway weekend to Italy, you will die from stress o!  To make matters worse you can actually go an entire morning surfing through the internet giving yourself self inflicted stress.  This is why you should stick to reading blogs like mine instead, nothing but good times only here.  However, I have found a way to deal with this and that is by simply taking time off social media.  Spend your time on other fulfilling activities that will not leave you green with envy or constantly comparing your life with the next person. Remember that comparison will steal your joy.  Do not let this be your enemy of progress!

4f8ee7ce1e9983251780982720fc52fc.jpg

Image from Pinterest

Negative energy is real.  Ever noticed how some people just love to complain about any and everything and once you are done talking to them you wonder why you are feeling miserable.  I am one person who values their peace of mind.  There are so many things going wrong in our country that could easily send you straight to your death while you are asleep the last thing you need is spending time with a “Negative Nancy”.  I understand that we all have problems and sometimes all you want to do is vent and get someone else to listen to you.  That’s perfectly fine but it is NOT okay to vent for an entire day.  Do you have any idea how that drains the next person?  Please do not do it to your loved ones.  If you decide to vent by all means do so but with all the venting make sure you come up with a solution to the problem together and act on it.  No one wants to spend time with negative people, they steal your joy.  Next time someone tries to ruin your day remember that it is your right to protect your peace and you can politely tell them to take their negative energy elsewhere.

I would love to hear from you.  What are some of your enemies of progress and how do deal with them?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

The Other Woman

Love her or hate her, the other woman exists and chances are she will continue to exist till the end of time.  I’m not saying your boyfriend or husband has her; not all men are cut out for that.  However, if you are one of the unfortunate few he has one and it is highly likely that she is not going anywhere anytime soon.

cheating-couples-holding-hands.jpg

Image from Google

I was the other woman, once upon a time…how did I end up there?  A case of a long distance relationship gone wrong and after that I told myself I was not going to do relationships until further notice so a situationship was more ideal for me then.  Couple that with insecurities from a failed relationship and not realising my worth, I easily settled for being the other woman in a heartbeat.  I used to enjoy the thrill of the secret relationship, the attention was priceless because he would try to compensate for the time he was not able to be with me.

This is a phase in my life I look back to and ask myself what the heck was I thinking? But you know what they say, everything that happens to you is a learning curve.  Thankfully that phase only lasted a short while and was over before it even started because I clearly could not stand being an option in his life.  Believe me when I tell you that kind of emotional stress is not good for anyone, at all!   Ask me if I will ever travel down that road again?  The answer is a definite NO!  It was a phase I am not proud of to date.

That is one of my favourite tracks by Changing Faces – The Other Woman and they are mainly singing about why they are no longer willing to share a man because they have finally realised what they deserve. (love is not so blind after all) However, not all women share the same sentiments because below are a few who are currently the other woman and not complaining about it.

“I enjoy the financial benefits that come with being the other woman, I have never worked a day in my life and “my husband” provides me and our children with everything we need.” Small House

“Sex with someone who isn’t my boyfriend every once in a while is a thrilling experience, you know what they say about variety being the spice of life.” The SexAHolic

“There is a sense of adventure, things done in secret give me an adrenaline rush and I got hooked to it I simply can’t stop.” The Side Chic

“I don’t have to worry about attending funerals, washing his clothes, cooking for him, I get to see him at his best and get to spend quality time with him.” The Cougar

“I get my rent paid, my child taken care of, endless outings, someone to sponsor my drinking habit and never having to worry about how I am going to put food on the table, that’s his job!” The Alcoholic

“Since we don’t see each other often when I do see him there is no time for fighting, I always look forward to seeing him.” Miss No Pressure

“I have been lied to and deceived one too many times, it is better to be with a married guy who won’t make empty promises to me.” Miss Content

“I have my own money, I can take care of myself but I don’t have the time for a full on relationship.  I only see him as and when I am free because I have a busy schedule so being the other woman works for me.” Miss Independent 

Relationships are complicated if you let them be, but from my experience being the other woman never ends well.  It seems for the women above it is working to their advantage and they are happy.  I say, life is too short so one must do whatever makes them happy as long as it gives them sleep at night.

What’s your take on the “other woman”?  I am happy to read on both negative and possibly positive things you have to say about her in the comments section below.

©MaKupsy 2017

21 Things Learnt From Past Relationships

I like to keep my blog as interactive as possible because I want the people who read my blog also feel a part of this journey.  I posted a question on Twitter and asked my followers to respond and this is what I got.

boy-broken-heart-couple-girl-heart-Favim.com-193794.jpg

@chaluva263 Love is not enough to sustain a relationship, it takes a lot more.

oney don’t buy loyalty.

@TinoNyandoro The thought of long term commitment scares me.

@ZaneleM_ That I wasn’t ready to be a girlfriend. I wasn’t ready for the commitment and dedication required.

@mangaliso21 I learnt that trust is like virginity; once lost it can never be regained.

@nyashanekutenda Not to take people for granted.

@YoliSpice Dreams can be shattered and you learn from them to create new and improved dreams, after all life does goes on.

@ICallMeCharmzyy I need to learn how to be selfish.

@zedd_tahlz Once a cheater, always a cheater.

@Do_Mie_Son To be honest and open about your feelings and be real to yourself.

@_Vickie_M Love in its “purest” form is a beautiful thing but on the flip side it can enslave you to your partner.

@yard_aric Be honest…I lost the love of my life for not being honest.

@DESIGNER_ANDRE Be in a relationship with someone who respects,appreciates,supports your goals and passion in life at all times.

@rufaro_et To be careful of emotional blackmail /manipulation.

@itskfizzle I’m currently too selfish and immature for relationships.

@the_dimpled_one A person will treat you how you allow them to. Stick to your standards and you will be surprised 😉

@tofunmi_ Love is not enough, really.

@stuntuya Our hearts crave companionship. Our minds never got the memo.

@kikkybadass I learnt that people will lie to get what they want ,I learnt how selfish humans can be at times,I learnt to love myself more.

@makholisa Sometimes God removes people so we meet better people.

The one lesson I learnt from past relationships is that I do not need to transform myself in order to be loved and accepted.  The one made for me will love me just as I am, flaws and all.

Care to share your own lessons from your past relationships?

©MaKupsy 2017