Day 18: Sex Education

Sex posts are one of my favourite things to blog about but today I won’t take you on an erotica journey, sadly for you.  Today’s challenge requires us to write about sex on the first date but I’m taking this opportunity to reshare a post I wrote 2 years ago.  Let’s talk sex education.  Are you taking steps in educating your children about sex or you are hoping they will remain virgins till the world comes to an end?  Remember you are responsible for how they perceive a lot of things, sex included, don’t wait for someone else to feed them with false information.  Today’s read will take you less than 10 minutes to enjoy, grab some popcorn it’s about to get real!


Image from Google

You know that talk a child gets just before they enter their adolescent stage?  Well, I got that talk, the only difference was that mine was a very scary version.  You see, in our culture back then most parents were not very comfortable talking about sex with their children.  That job was left to the aunt but with people moving far and wide in the end your mother was left to do all the work and boy did she do a shoddy job of it.  In order to stop me from indulging in any sex her plan was to tell me stories that would stop me from even dreaming about having sex. (they worked for a while though)  I remember the day my mother sat me down to tell me how I should not have sex before I was married.  Mind you she didn’t even use the word sex; I am still to remember what term she used but I just concluded she meant sex.  She told me that if I got too close to a boy or even let him touch any part of my body her back would break.  THE HORROR!!  I didn’t even date anyone during my teen years because I was obviously scared shitless.  Why would I want a boy anywhere near me?  So that my mother’s back breaks??  That was definitely going to happen on my watch, I love my mother too much to cause her any harm!

And so I sailed through my teen years until one day a boy I fancied started writing me letters.  I was obviously excited and kept this my little secret.  I remember going for a walk with him one afternoon and then before we said goodbye he kissed me!  OH MY FREAKING GOSH!!  I was terrified!  I ran all the way home, locked myself in the bathroom and kept looking in the mirror to check if my parents would be able to tell if I had been kissed.  I was miserable for the rest of the day and when they came back from work I acted normal but my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was going to jump right out of my throat.  The next morning and the weeks to come I woke up worried thinking my mother’s back would surely break after that kiss!  But of course nothing happened and years later I started dating, I even had sex (protected of course) and no one’s back ever broke, like ever!

I had to learn about sex through school mates and talks the women who would occasionally come to school and talk about not allowing anyone to touch your body.  They didn’t actually say anything about safe sex or contraceptives and the whole shebang.  And so I had to read about most of the things in books and or overhear my sisters talk about condoms then I figured that’s what you were supposed to use.  To be honest that was the only form of contraceptive I knew of; that and abstaining.  I still feel that my mother could have done a better job of informing me about sex and not have me wonder and seek answers from outside sources.  She did a very good job of letting me think that sex was a very bad thing not to be talked about, had or enjoyed because something terrible would happen to you.  At the same time I don’t blame her because she grew up in a time where such talks were unheard of.


Image from Google

I asked a few friends around me to tell me how their “birds and the bees” talk when they were younger and this is the feedback I got:

“Ahh, I don’t remember being told anything by my mum.  She just told me no boys before finishing school.”

“She gave me the finer details about sex when I was around 16.  Even told me how people have sex so that little boys wouldn’t trick me with the don’t worry it isn’t sex line.”

“She never said anything.”

“I had sex figured out from my teacher.”

“We never had the talk she just said if you get pregnant don’t ever come back home.”

“Stay away from sex because you will get pregnant!  If a boy tells you he loves you run for your life!”

I am happy and sad at the same time with this kind of feedback.  Happy because it shows that I wasn’t alone in being told ridiculous things in the name of no sex before your time.  Sad because we were not given enough information about what sex really was even though we were still too young to understand it.  At least one person out of all my friends actually got to know what sex was the rest of us have to figure it out by ourselves!

When my daughter gets to adolescent stage I will sit down with her and we will have an honest and open talk about sex and not hide anything from her so that she knows how to protect herself and be aware of the on goings of her body.  I won’t scare her or tell her any lies because I want her to know she can come to me and talk about anything at anytime.

A fellow Blogger taking part in the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge shared these sentiments;

Media will have us telling our kids too much too soon but I’m a firm believer in things being age appropriate and in parenting instincts.  When your child asks you what sex is ask them what they already know, ask why they want to know, and then take it from there.

What was your first sex talk like?  Who told you about the ins and outs of sex?

©MaKupsy 2017


Take Time To Unpack

School days are the best days of your life?  I think not!  I remember the year, 1993 it was sometime before Christmas.  My parents told me that I could write up a list of friends I would invite over for a party and I was delighted.  I used to have a birthday celebration each year but it was always with my siblings and hardly ever with my friends so you can imagine the excitement.  A few days later I was informed that we were going to Marondera and I didn’t read much into it.  My grandmother stayed there and we visited her often so for me it was just another trip to see Gogo(grandmother).  I was wrong, we were moving and no one even cared to tell me.

It was only when we arrived in Marondera and we didn’t go to Gogo’s place that I realised that something was amiss.  I was shown our new home and what was going to be my new bedroom and I was not amused.  You see, when we were in Chinhoyi the house we stayed in was tripple the size of the one I saw before my eyes.  The neighbourhood was completely different, I knew no one except my cousins who stayed I didn’t even know where because we met when we all went to Gogo’s place.  I was devastated.  I actually cried buckets and told my parents I wanted to go back to Chinhoyi and be with my friends, my school and everything that I was familiar with.  Mothers back then didn’t take tantrums lightly and my mother would whoop my ass for being dramatic.  I cried myself to sleep so many nights, I missed my friends.  I missed home.

I had to attend a new school and as you can imagine I felt like an outsider.  Making friends was a real mission.  I loved sport, I could swim and play tennis but I didn’t make it to the team because the school already had their set of students they had already “chosen”.  I remember taking up hockey instead and I struck some luck there and ended up being in the team.  Even after trying to make friends through sport people didn’t seem to like me.  I was bullied and secluded.  The one time all the girls in my class called for a meeting and sat me down.  I don’t remember what it was about but I remember walking home in tears and wishing I would either go back to Chinhoyi or die.  Children can be really cruel and to date I don’t understand why they treated me that way.


Image from Google

At home my father never wanted me to leave the house.  I was always under lock and key.  The only time I was allowed to play outside the gate was when I went out to ride my bicycle.  That was one of my favourite things to do.  A few weeks after we moved my bicycle was stolen and I was left with nothing else to do with my time.  Eventually I was allowed to go and play with children my age but only till a certain time of day then it was back to being under lock and key.

I still have memories of having to sit outside during break time by myself because the other girls were “punishing me”.  Was it because they had already established who their friends were and I was messing up things for them by being the newbie?  Was it because I loved to take part in sporting activities?  Was it because I didn’t know anything about the town?  I had and still have so many questions because I can’t imagine why people would have such a strong feeling of dislike of someone they really didn’t know.

I never looked forward to going to school.  I hated every minute of it.  I remember telling my parents about what was happening but they brushed it off.  There were a lot of incidents that happened that I won’t dwell on because as it is I am typing this and crying at the same time, the wounds are resurfacing all over again!  I grew up telling myself that once I am done with school I am never coming back to Marondera if it’s the last thing I do.  I hate that place, it has so many unpleasant memories.  Each time I travel and I start feeling home sick it’s not Marondera I will be thinking of, I will be thinking of my home here in Harare.  It was only yesterday that it dawned on me that this is the reason I never enjoy my visits to Marondera, the place haunts me…


©MaKupsy 2016

You Can Make It Happen!

I like to describe myself as a “Go Getter” because from a very young age I have managed to make things happen on my own.  I think the huge age gap between my siblings and I played a part in that because I felt like an only child.  They were in boarding school the greater part of the time and I was at home with my parents with no one else to play with except myself. That right there is the one reason I became one adventurous child.  I had nothing but time on my hands and I experimented with climbing trees, playing tennis and attempting to walk from preschool to our house because my dad had delayed in picking me up.  The adventures are plenty and I am going to tell you all about them.


3 year old me 🙂 Kariba


Anyone who claims to know me will tell you that I LOVE to swim.  That’s my summer highlight.  I am out in my swimwear ready to dive into some cool, calming water.  It’s my next exercise of choice, actually, it’s not even an exercise it’s one of the many things I love to do.  How did it all start?  Everyone in my family can swim and the time we stayed in Kariba we would all go to the pool for an afternoon of fun in the sun.  They took me with them, put some floaters on my arms and let me enjoy the water.  When we moved to Chinhoyi a few years later my swimming obsession went crazy because we had a swimming pool by our house and at every given opportunity I was out there trying to learn how to swim with or without supervision.  I remember the one time I slipped and nearly drowned; I thought if my mother had found out  I had gone unsupervised I was going to die twice!! I continued to teach myself how to swim and by the time I started preschool I was water confident and remember graduating from the shallow end to the deep end in a matter of weeks.  Years later, Miss Kupsy has inherited my love for swimming and I take her with at every opportunity.


Image from Google

Riding A Bike

I had a cute little red and yellow tricycle. Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of it but I remember it very vividly.  I loved that little tricycle, it got me to the swimming pool faster than the speed of lighting. I soon outgrew it and got a bicycle with helpers as a birthday gift.  Seeing that my parents were at work the greater part of the time it was up to me to learn to how to ride the “big bike”.  I don’t know how many times I fell off that little bike but with every fall I kept getting back up and trying again.  That very day I remember my dad driving in and me racing my bike down the drive way to show him that I had figured out how to ride my bike.  He was so proud of me and promised to let me ride it to see one of my friends who stayed close by after a few days.  I still have scars on my knees from the countless falls I had on that day but they were all worth it because if I had not pushed myself I probably would have never learnt how to do so.

60e946cc-7cba-4ca4-b3ab-fdfc6e93561aSocial Media

I remember begging the father of my child to teach me how to use Twitter.  The guy would act like I was talking to myself.  He just said open an account and figure it out.  I was thoroughly annoyed.  I really thought he would sit down with me and give me a full on lecture on how to Tweet!  I was dying for a break from Facebook so I decided I would sign up and give it a try.  My first tweet read; “Tweet tweet hurray” not bad for a first timer right?  Don’t ask about the hash tags though, in my defense I was still new to the application and I was trying to navigate my way around it.  6 years later my followers have grown and not only do I have a Lifestyle Blog; I also have a Fitness Blog and a Fitness Movement that stemmed from my use of Twitter and social media.  My social media presence has exposed me to different opportunities and I continue to network with people who have dropped some valuable gems in my life.  I can safely say that the use of social media helped me to find my purpose.

If there is one thing that I have learnt through all the above experiences it is the fact that self taught skills are the best experiences life has to offer.  If you really want something sometimes waiting for someone to come and spoon feed you is not the best of decisions.  Get up and do something about those things you want to learn or do.  It can be writing a book,(watch this space for my book in December 2018!!) going back to school, designing a website, applying for that Visa and get to explore a whole new continent.  Whatever the case might be the power is within you to make it happen.


However, you must remember that it will take time.  If you want to build something worth your while make an extra effort to learn as much as you can on the subject at hand, network with those in the know, keep voice memos when an idea comes to mind; you don’t want to let it slip your mind!  Above all else, keep believing that you can do anything you set your mind to.

You are the creator of your own destiny.

Do tell me about some of the things on your to-do-list.  Have you already started working on them or you are waiting for a miracle to happen?

©MaKupsy 2017



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Compliments of the new season to every single person who reads my blog.  I hope you entered the New Year in good health.  Nothing is as important to me as my health.  I make sure each year I get my medicals done just to make sure everything is functioning as it should be.  I hope you do the same; your health is your wealth.


Photo taken by yours truly 🙂

I had taken a break from blogging to enjoy the rest of 2015 and make priceless memories.  You have no idea how beautiful it is to end the year on a great note.  It felt good.  I remember compiling a list of places I wanted to visit in 2015 but never got to go to two of the destinations BUT this year I will definitely make my way to Malawi within the first half of the year without fail!

New year resolutions?  I didn’t make any this year.  What I do have are goals.  Let me elaborate for those who don’t know the difference between a goal and a resolution:

A goal is a desired result that a person wishes to achieve. It is a target that a person wants to reach

A resolution is a  decision or determination; a resolve: to make a firm resolution to do something.

From my own experiences in the past I have failed dismally at keeping my resolutions and that is the main reason I stopped making them.

My goals for 2016 include:

  • Making moves to write for a website which I have had my eyes on for months now.
  • Turning my fitness obsession into a money making machine.
  • Traveling, my goals would be incomplete without this.
  • Learning new skills pertaining my line of work.
  • Going back to school and beefing up my CV.

I will obviously have more goals as we get into the year but these are my goals for the first half of 2016.  Wish me luck!

Lastly, 2016 going forward I WILL PUT MYSELF FIRST, MY HAPPINESS, MY INTERESTS, MY ASPIRATIONS because life is too short to not make things happen for yourself!

Here’s to a fruitful new year.