Adele – Someone Like You

Love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience in this lifetime if it’s reciprocal.  However, if you are one of the unlucky few who got served a huge dose of unrequited love you will know exactly how much pain can come from it.

Thankfully over the years I have had the chance to reflect and take note of some of the mistakes I made in the past where love was concerned.  In the past I have paired myself up with people who actually did not love or care about me.  I saw the signs and chose to ignore them.  A slight sign of concern was automatically mistaken for love.  For me love had to make my heart go pitter patter, lose my senses, lose sleep and have me going through extremes of happiness and sadness.  That was clearly a lot to take in in the name of love.

I used to be a bitter woman, I was mad at the world.  Mad that I loved someone who did not see all the things I did in the name of love.  More than anything I was mad at myself for not seeing something was not good for me and simply walking away when I still had the chance to do so.

I am happy to say that what I view love to be has completely changed.  For me love will not leave me close to feeling a panic attack, love will complete me, love will give me a warm, calm and confident feeling towards my partner.  I don’t think I still get butterflies, maybe it’s an age thing; but I certainly feel that this is right when I am with the perfect match.

I no longer feel anything towards the man who once shattered my heart to irreparable little pieces; I am indifferent towards him.  You will be surprised to note that this very song used to bring me to tears each time I listened to it but now I listen to it and recall that it used to be his favourite song.  Through it all in as much as things didn’t work out between us we had our happy moments.  They didn’t last but for the season they were supposed to they brought a smile to my face.

It’s important to take a step back whenever you get the chance to and find out where you go wrong.  It’s easy to sit down and blame the world for things going wrong in your life when most times you are the very source of your own pain.  You can’t choose who you love though you can try very hard to make sure you love someone who at least feels the same way about you.

I have made it my personal mission to continue to grow myself in love.  How?  By doing things that bring me joy, filling my days with happy moments, understanding that not everyone will understand the intensity that comes with me and above all else to keep learning and unlearning habits that might hinder my progress.  Not everyone will understand what I am about but the right one will know that I am amazing just the way I am.

We live yes, but how many of us actually take time to learn?  

 

 

 

©MaKupsy 2017

The Power Of A Referral

At the beginning of this year we had a road trip to Mazvikadei Resort.  It was a beautiful experience and a great way to start the new year.  I remember seeing my friend’s girlfriend for the first time and falling in love with her and her hair on the spot!  Unfortunately at the time I had just had my hair done and I was still disappointed with the results.  I told her I would get in touch with her the next time I decided to get my hair braided and so here we are!

I got in touch with my friend who then gave me Christine’s contact number.  Christine is her hairdresser.  I called her to set up an appointment and she confirmed she would be free a whole week after speaking to her.  I couldn’t wait, I just wanted to look pretty and waiting is not my strong point.  However, I had no choice and so the wait began.  True to her word at 6:30am she sent a message telling me she was outside my apartment.  Unbelievable!  She had said she would come through at 7:00am but she was early and I was already impressed.

Cut a long story short I got my hair done from 7:00am till 4:00pm.  I actually didn’t feel how the day went by because guess what?  You are not even ready to read this part…SHE DOES YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP!!!  Guys, she actually prefers that you sleep and she gets on with her work with peace, quiet and maximum concentration!  I am NEVER EVER going to get anyone else to braid my hair.  She is the hairdresser I have always wanted.

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Not only does she do your hair to a tee she is also a pleasant person who quickly blends in.  I love that she is open and tells you what does and doesn’t work for her from the get go.  The money she charges as you can see, is very much worth every dollar!

This year I promised myself that I would write more on women who are doing amazing things.  We normally focus on those who are already doing it big and forget about the ones in the shadows.  There is too much negativity as it is in the world, it would be beautiful to have more positive stories to read about women in our communities.  I kid you not, Christine is the first of many fabulous women to be featured on my blog this year.  I am so happy with my hair I might do it again and again and again before the year ends.

If you would like Christine to do your hair, she is just a phone call and thankfully she does home visits.  However, you have to book in advance as she is a very busy woman so you have to make sure you organise yourself in time.  Get in touch with me so that I can you the hook up of a lifetime!

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I am sooooo in love with my new hairdo you have no idea!  You know I love all things beautiful and when I say something is good it really is good.  Give her a try, you won’t be disappointed!

If you know anyone who would like to be featured please let me know.

©MaKupsy 2017

Of Lobola, Weddings & Such

The moment a friend tells me that they are getting married I get very happy for them because for most women marriage doesn’t come easy.  If you meet a guy who loves you enough to wife you up then happy days.  In our culture you first pay lobola and then have a court wedding or white wedding or not, whatever tickles your fancy really but to be official you need to get the lobola thing going.  This is the part that baffles me the most…why do people make such a big secret of when their boyfriend will actually go and pay lobola for them?  I have three or four “friends” who only told me on the actual day their lobola was being paid.  It left me questioning our friendship.  If we are supposed to be that close and that happy for each other why would you tell me on the very day of your big day???  Someone help me understand why you would keep such good news away from your friend?  I have concluded that it’s their way of letting you know that you have been left behind in the world of singledom so they just want to give you a quick surprise for you before they carry on into their married life.

As the story continues…

Then we get excited about their wedding day if they go the white wedding route.  I help out when I can with the planning, the ideas for the venue, decoration; most of the time they complain about the in laws who are making things impossible, we go through dresses, we think of a playlist the whole shebang.  My phone is always on the charger because she needs help with this or that and we are constantly in touch.  It actually feels like my wedding by the time I go to sleep because of the levels of fatigue but I won’t be complaining because that’s what friends do right.  You help each other through good and bad times even though at this point I start feeling like an underpaid wedding planner. Hahahaha

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Anyways, the big day finally arrives and guess what has happened to me in the past for some of my “friends” weddings.

Friend 1. I was sent an invite to the wedding, oh happy days, even though I am not such a huge fan of weddings.

Friend 2.I got to be a bridesmaid for the first time and I had a fabulous time because the wedding reception was short and sweet and we wore some pretty delicious colours on the day.  Who would have thought purple and gold would rock?!

Friend 3. I never heard from her again.  A few days before her wedding she went cold turkey on me.  I knew the venue of her wedding which was out of town by the way but she never sent me a wedding invite so there was no way I was going to just rock up at her wedding uninvited.  I am not about that gate crashing a wedding life.  Some friend huh?

Enough about that let me get to the juicy bit.  So now some of my friends are married.  Remember we used to talk all the time?  I have noted that a few weeks after they get married they go missing in action.  I ask myself if they are happy, sad, overwhelmed, enjoying their honeymoon phase or just don’t want to be associated with a single someone.  Please do not get me wrong, I am not the jealous type but the I wonder what’s up type.  The moment they are married they just snub me and I never hear from them again.  Is it a thing that married women do or it’s a thing that I get dished out from my “friends” only?  Does marriage really take such a toll on an individual that you forget about your friends or at least those who considered you their friend?  Do you honestly expect me to respond to your message at the speed of lighting the moment you finally decide to communicate with me?

Like what the actual fuck is up with that??!!

I wonder…

©MaKupsy 2016

Run With Fitness Bae

We had a Run Everyday Challenge that ran from the 10th to the 16th of October.  I must say this was the toughest week of my life!  The challenge was to run 5 kilometres every single day for 7 days and the participant who had the best pace won.  There were 13 participants, please check out the table below to see how awesome everyone in the group was.

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Unfortunately not everyone managed to run every day and we came up with a penalty.  We decided that your slowest run plus 10 seconds was going to be slotted in for the days you didn’t run. Trust me, this method saw some participants who were ranking first place move down the grid.  I think it was a fair move because running is hard, waking up early morning and sacrificing the comfort of your bed is harder and running every single day and telling yourself you can get through a run is hardest of it all!

Thankfully we survived the challenge but it came with a lot of changes for everyone in the group:

  • Bed time was super early for most morning runners because most people had to make sure they were done with their run by 6am.
  • I can confirm that when I went to bed I was completely lights out. I am a light sleeper and most times I wake up at least twice during the course of the night.  With the challenge nothing of the sort happened; after jumping into bed I was probably dead till my alarm went off at 4am!
  • Most runners complained of fatigue.
  • I remember dreaming of new running routes to try out!
  • The classic one was when were one of the participants stated they were too tired to have sex with their partner thanks to the running challenge.
  • Women talked about how running actually helps during your period. Somehow exercise helps with the cramps and when one of the participants tried to back out of the challenge due to her period we encouraged her to keep going, it only gets better.
  • I for one can tell you that my appetite went out the window. I was hungry in the mornings, lunch time as well but come supper time I was just too tired to feed myself!  I think I lost a couple of kilograms but thanks to my bathroom scale dying out on me last minute I will never know!
  • Calvin went crazy on the last day of the challenge and ran at a pace of 3mins 12seconds on the last kilometre of his run. WHO DOES THAT??  No one in the group ran anywhere close to that pace and we were all green with envy because that’s a pace we only dream of.  Well done dude!
  • Kudzai also set a great pace, look at number 8 on the grid.  Unfortunately he missed a run or two and he lost the first place.  I actually had my fingers crossed that he would win but I guess he needs a longer pair of “secret socks”.
  • The one thing I was very happy about was that most runners had not ran 5 kilometres in a very long time others never at all but this challenge pushed them to their limits. Now that’s what a challenge is all about!  Nothing but serious business when it comes to fitness!
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Natalie

The winner was NatalieShe is truly an inspiration (and very young too).  The pace she set out for everyone was out of this world!  I mean, who runs an average of 5mins 12 seconds per kilometre for a whole 5 kilometres!  Like I said she is young and straight out of High School where they play sport, do all those cross country events almost every day so of course she was going to win! (This is what sore losers sound like. LOL)  A big congratulations to Natalie, she did very well and because she was the winner of this challenge she got to choose what the next challenge will be.

The hash tags will be #NatalieChallenge #RunWithFitnessBae.  In order to win you must take part and when you post your run on social media don’t forget to use the two hashtags I mentioned.   This time around there are prizes to be won and they will be announced a few days just before the challenge starts.  If you want to take part please contact KudzaiUmba or myself and we will add you to the WhatsApp Fitness group.  There is a lot of information on and fitness, encouragement, good laughs and healthy food recipes so if that’s your cup of tea come and join the family.

Well done to each and every single person who took part in this challenge.  I know some participants have not taken on this kind of pressure before but look at how you sailed through this!  This is the beginning of many challenges to come.

The next challenge is from the 31st of October to the 4th of November 2016.

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I hope you had a weekend as lovely as mine.  If you have any questions on the next running challenge or you just want to join and get started on your fitness journey don’t hesitate to get in touch.  Today is Monday by the way, the perfect day to get up and do something!

©MaKupsy 2016

Missed Call Alert!

I can tell you that I have had moments I have questioned what was going through the other person’s mind when they were busy leaving 10 missed calls on my phone.  When I try to contact someone and they don’t pick up the phone twice, that’s the end of that I won’t try doing so again because they clearly are tied up and when they are free they will get back to me.  So I am left puzzled when I see my phone with so many missed calls from the same person within a short space of time.

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Image from Google

If I didn’t answer the phone the first 3 calls there must be a reason why I am not picking up your calls.  Reasons such as…

  1. My phone is on  silent and I didn’t hear it ring.
  2. I am probably taking a bath.
  3. My phone is on the charger in the next room.
  4. I am tied up at work.
  5. I am in church.
  6. I am exercising.
  7. I have a visitor.
  8. I am doing some housework.
  9. I am probably asleep.
  10. I do not want to talk to you.
  11. I am upset with you.
  12. I will call you back once I am done doing whatever (or whoever) I am doing.
  13. I am working on my next blog and need maximum concentration.
  14. I am not in the mood to talk to anyone, it’s really not that deep.
  15. I want to be left alone.

So you see, people have one too many reasons for not picking up your calls.  My advice is try at least twice, and wait a while before making the second call.  If all else fails then you can get a hint right?

P.S. This also goes to messages on WhatsApp that go unanswered.

What have been your reasons for not picking up someone’s call?  Do you always want to be taking calls or sometimes you just need that “alone time” the same way I do?

© MaKupsy 2016

It’s All Fun & Games Until You Start Staying Together!

Dating can be a really fun experience.  From the dates, the gifts,the getting to know each other phase.  Your partner seems perfect, too perfect sometimes you start thinking they might be too good to be true.  In my opinion it’s like that because you don’t get to spend ALL your time with them.  I think the one time you truly get to find out who you are dating is when you start living together.  I once tried out cohabiting and the first few months were bliss.  Nothing can compare to waking up next to the person who makes your heart go pitter-patter.  Lovely as it may seem, there are a few issues that come with living together, let me list a few of them.  This was my experience…

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Sleeping Patterns

I sleep really early.  On a good day I am lights out anytime before 9:30pm.  When I go to sleep I want complete darkness in the room and no background noise.  That wasn’t the same for my partner.  He loved watching TV in bed and he used to wake up at ungodly hours to watch NFL games.  You can imagine how annoyed I got because that meant I would be wide awake and most times I had work the next day and that just made me very cranky come morning.  He was happy he got to watch the game, I was pissed off because I didn’t have enough sleep.  Drama, drama!

Bad Habits

We all have our little bad habits that are magnified once we start spending all our time with someone. Things like:

  • not putting the toilet seat back down when you finish using the loo.
  • not flushing after you finishing doing whatever business you choose to partake in in the loo.
  • farting in the presence of your partner. I know this one becomes inevitable after staying together for a long time BUT personally, it’s a no no.
  • not picking up after yourself.
  • not making the bed, in my world if you are the last one to leave the bed it’s your job to sure you make it, sounds fair to me.

Household Chores

This can be a real train smash if one of you is lazy.  You might end up feeling taken for granted because all the household chores will be on your list of things to do.  From experience I have concluded that everyone has something that they don’t mind doing housework wise and something they absolutely can’t stand!  For example, I don’t mind doing laundry, it’s the ironing part I can’t deal with.  I used to do all the laundry and once it was dry I would fold it and pack it away and iron as I go.  My partner found it absolutely ridiculous.  He believed once laundry was done it had to be ironed there and then. For the sake of peace and progress we split that chore and made sure I washed and he ironed, everyone is happy.  However, the other chores around the house were a real mission because he was lazy and I ended up doing everything else and resented him as each day passed by.

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Finances

I like saving for a rainy day.  I am that one person who probably has some money stashed away somewhere for emergencies.  I don’t believe in spending all my money and then worrying about how I am going to get to my next pay cheque.  My partner on the other hand loved blowing his money.  We would sit down, draw up a budget and agreed that come end of the month we would do a,b,c,d.  You don’t know what frustration is until you get home and find out that your partner has bought a $50 shirt that wasn’t a part of the budget and now you have to forgo important things that month.  It’s at that point that you realise that people clearly have different priorities.  Don’t get me wrong, getting yourself new things is all fine and dandy but when you have talked about things beforehand it would be important to communicate such decisions for the sake of peace and progress.

Sex

This blog would be incomplete without mentioning  sex.  Trust me when I tell you, the sex will be amazing.  Well, it was for me.  Sex at any time of day, no need to send a message asking “Sweetiepie how long are you going to take to get here?” when you are feeling hot and bothered because you have your partner with you.  You can explore, experiment and get enough the orgasms because there is no rush to go anywhere.  BUT there is obviously a big but in this; when things are not going well between a couple especially due to some of the issues I have mentioned above sex might not even happen.  Couples that are usually unhappy end up not having sex and just become room mates who happen to share a bed.  Thankfully we didn’t experience this because maybe we were just sex addicts (if sex saved relationships we would probably still be together) but for some I have heard that you can go a pretty long time without sex when your partner is mad at you.

Depression

This is an actual thing!  When you stay with someone chances of feeling depressed are actually very high especially when things are not going well between the two of you.  I remember we used to have cases where after a verbal fight he would walk out of the house and not come back.  Sometimes he would go for a whole weekend and I would be worried sick to my stomach not knowing if him walking away meant we had broken up, if he was alive, if he still wanted to talk to me…I had a million questions going through my head and him not picking up my calls or replying my messages made me all the more miserable.  I ended up feeling depressed and even after he came back and we talked things through in my heart I was never settled because I kept thinking one day he is going to walk away and never come back.  I had no hold on him, after all we were cohabiting and not legally married…

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To be honest, if you are thinking of cohabiting I say give it a try knowing that it might actually work out for you and if marriage is the end goal for both of you it might happen.  They say compromise is key right?  If you find that special someone you can gladly compromise then by all means don’t let my experience stop you.

Personally I won’t try it again, I have crossed out my bucket list in that department.  It was beautiful while it lasted but I love my space too much to have anyone else all up in it.  All that freedom to just be myself and do absolutely nothing all day in peace is priceless.  Then again I can’t exactly be alone for the rest of my life it would be nice to have someone to share all my highs and lows.  What would probably work would be staying in different apartments in the same building but we are still a couple or just getting married and buying a big house where you can always retreat to a different room when you are feeling upset and reconcile when you have cooled down…

After all is said and done, what matters the most is how you feel about each other and how far you are willing to go to make your relationship.  Do what works for you and for the betterment of your living arrangement because at the end of the day what’s important is your happiness.  When you decide to stay with your partner get in it with open eyes and an open heart.

Have you been in a cohabiting scenario before.  How did it work for you?  Are you still together with your cohabiting partner?  Are there any tips you would want to share on how to make living together more manageable?  Are you pro or anti cohabiting?

©MaKupsy 2016

I Wonder Where The 1 kg Is Hiding?

It’s such a lovely morning.  I went for my morning run and got back feeling so great.  I had not been sleeping well since the weekend but last night I slept well and so soundly I clocked in a whole 9 hours of sleep.  I have this sleep application on my phone, who knew you burn all those calories while you sleep; technology is really going all out hey?

I weigh myself each week as you already know.  This week my scale read an extra kg.  I wasn’t expecting that seeing that I still run but just not as often but to be honest it’s not a train smash because I know if I eat right and work out religiously this week my scale will be back to normal again come next Monday.  For some people I know you are probably reading this and rolling your eyes saying “Really, it’s just 1 kg!” but for me a kg will set me off track if I don’t manage it now.  I am still wondering where the 1 kg is hiding though because I still look and feel the same…or so I think.

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I never want to be overweight again.  I was unhappy, I was in a dark place, I lost most of my confidence and I don’t ever want to go through that again.  I love the healthy and fit me.  I have so much energy and I am so much happier.

I have so many feel good hormones running through my veins and listening to some Old School music just made me even happier.  These are some of the songs on my playlist this morning.

  • All My Life  – KCi & Jojo
  • Rock A Party – MC Lyte
  • This Love – Donell Jones
  • Door Number 1 – LSG
  • The First Night – Monica
  • Get It On Tonight – Montell Jordan

What are you listening to to get your day going and how is your fitness journey going so far?

MaKupsy