Happiness really is a state of mind. I know this first hand. Most days I’m a bubble of positive energy and some days well, some days life takes over and I drown in negative energy. Last week was hard for me, I was facing so many emotional battles that I was convinced I was never going to get out of it. Thankfully it only lasted a while and I’m back to my happy self. Below are some of my favourite quotes.
Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.
Some days you just have to bring your own sunshine.
If you are tired learn to rest not quit!
Today will be F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S.
One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to let go of the things that make you sad.
Stress is caused by giving a fu*k
Chin up Queen, or the crown slips.
Being happy never goes out of style.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Today be the badas* girl you were too lazy to be yesterday!
I love Pinterest, it’s one of my many reliable sources when it comes to getting back on the happy wagon. You can follow me and check out my board, Positive Energy.
What keeps you going when you are facing trying times?
I noticed that maybe just maybe I am being a little too hard on the men out there. So this post is for the men and the positive things they do for the women in their lives. It’s not really about going above and beyond but the simple things that make her smile. As always the participants remain anonymous, only their ages will be disclosed. Here is a list of the things they did today just to put that beautiful smile on their partners face.
I gave her a surprise visit at her workplace with a bunch or roses. 23
I bought her jewelry. 22
I bought her a new phone Samsung Galaxy 4 just because she was being a good wife and mother to my children. 32
I sent a voice note reciting a poem and she loved it. 22
I kissed my wife goodbye on the cheek before I left the house. 30
I sent a message saying “I love you”. Believe me for most married people those are rare words. 41
I complimented her on her new hairstyle. 28
I took her to Nandos for lunch. 34
This morning I told her she is the most beautiful wife a man could ever have. 41
I finally put a photo of both of us on my Twitter Avi. 25
I gave her a necklace with her name on it. 26
I called her, all the way from South Africa to Harare for a good 10 minutes. 34
I remembered our first year anniversary and sent a gift to her office. 27
You see, sometimes all a woman needs is a random act to show her that she still has your heart. I hope the other guys out there get to read this and will hopefully do something to brighten up their partner’s day.
Let me know what you decide to do for your leading lady today 🙂
You know how girls get all excited from a very young age and plan their entire wedding from the wedding colour theme to the bridesmaids dresses and mostly the dress she will wear on her wedding day? I wasn’t one of those girls. All I ever wanted to be when I was all grown up was travel the world and be in some choreography related form of work. I tried looking for one of my old dream collage’s but I couldn’t locate it because it is probably somewhere at my parent’s house plus I am not a fan of clutter so I definitely wouldn’t find it at my place. The point of it was to show you just how back then it was not something I consumed myself with; this marriage thing.
So what changed you ask? Because if you have read my blogs you know there is a post I mentioned that there was a time when all I ever wanted was to get married. Well, circumstances changed. I got pregnant.
Initially I actually remember telling the father of my child that I was not ready for marriage and he shared the same sentiments and we were actually fine with the arrangement. Arrangements like that unfortunately don’t sit very well with our society especially if you are actually living together. Months into our pregnancy family intervened and told us we were disrespecting our families and we had to get married. I easily bought into the idea because I obviously didn’t want to bring any further “shame” to my family but the father of my child stood his ground and declared he would never marry in this lifetime. (Guess who got married in just under six months after separating).
It was a really complicated phase of my life. I remember days I was at work; visibly pregnant and my colleagues asking how my “husband” was. I had to play along because the thought of telling them that we were just staying together would probably shock the lights out of them and have them lecture me on how he was “using me” if he didn’t pay lobola for me. I remember feeling scared at the thought of us ever breaking up because I did not know how I would tell people that I was a single mother. Now that was my biggest fear! In my head being a single mother was the most unforgivable offence in society’s eyes because their judging eyes would tell you that you had “failed to keep a man.” That was just fucked up!
However, this all taught me a few things.
If you genuinely do not want to do something DO NOT DO IT! I ended up wanting to get married only because that’s what family had suggested even though I didn’t even want it.
Marriage should be for parties who BOTH want the same thing because the moment you are on different paths it will be a disaster.
Marriage has been idolized so much in our society. It’s so bad that once a woman reaches a certain age without getting married people start talking and giving her side eyes as if they even know what she wants out of life. This idolization has lead to many women, some that I know only getting married so that people can get off their backs.
Not everyone is going to get married, have a white wedding and walk down the isle in a white puffy dress and society needs to understand that.
Even if you don’t get married nothing is wrong with you, it simply means it was either not meant for you or your time hasn’t come just as yet and perhaps you do not want to get married at all and that should not be anyone’s business.
Know the reasons WHY you want to get married. Don’t just dive in head first without even trying to understand the first thing about what marriage is all about. Too many television watching going on and hoping once you get in it everything will be just like the movies.
Lastly, love yourself enough to know that even if you don’t do things right the first time you can always get up and start afresh, every single day is a chance to rewrite your story. I am a single mother and I am proud to be a mother to a beautiful little girl who adores me. Raising a child on my own does not make me any less of a woman, in fact; it has made me stronger, wiser and more responsible than I could have ever imagined.
Image from Google
And to answer the question that is probably going through your mind right about now, would I want to get married? As it stands; yes, I would want to get married but for all the reasons I know are right for me and this will be a story for another blog post; BUT please note that if it doesn’t happen my world won’t come crashing down because I am happy with the person I am on my own and getting married for me would be a bonus NOT a life saver.
For now I am going to go about being happy, observing what this life is all about and taking part in it with full force no matter what my marital status. Happy hormones live here!!!!
Ever had things you wish people would do more of or maybe did differently? Well I do but to avoid going on and on I decided to cut the list down to just 5 things.
I wish people would say thank you after getting a compliment. The number of times I have told or heard someone compliment the next person only for the recipient to say “I Know”. You say THANK YOU not I know, what nonsense is that?
Say please when you ask for something.
Allow older people and pregnant women go ahead of the queue.
Do random acts of kindness for the next person. Even if it’s just to smile and listen attentively to what they have to say, there is no fee for being a good person.
Just be yourself. Too many times we are too busy trying to be what society expects us to be instead of living our lives and being happy with the way we are. Be you, be happy!
I got my first flowers for the year 2015 over the weekend. I love flowers for reasons I don’t even understand myself!
Miss Kupsy came to me with a bunch of little yellow flowers in her hand and said ” I picked these flowers for you mummy, I love you.” My heart just melted. I gave her a big hug, lifted her and said thank you my little sunshine. She couldn’t wait to get down and pick some more saying she wanted the flowers to “get bigger”. If you are a mother you know I went through this process close to 10 times as she continued to come back with more flowers. I am not complaining though, I felt that was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me. Children are little angels, they always find a way to touch your heart.
Happiness doesn’t come easy, it’s an everyday task. From the moment you wake up to the moment you lay your head down to rest you have to choose to be happy. I’ve tried for so many years to get happiness from other people not knowing that if those people left they would take their happiness with them. Then there was trying to get fulfillment from material things. I think trying to find happiness in material things is the worst kind of disappointment. Imagine spending so much money on a gadget hoping it will miraculously change your life and make you feel happy only for it to be just that, a new gadget in your life and less money in the bank for you; so much for that!
Years later, happiness comes to me naturally. Of course I have my bad days, I am only human after all and on a scale of 1-10 I am right there on 8. So here’s a list of some of the things I do to keep the good aura going in my life.
I speak to my daughter over the phone every single day. Hearing from her makes a good start to my morning and I tell her how much I love her each day.
Mondays used to be the worst but now I get up wear my favourite outfit and show up for work all glamourous. Bright colours on a Monday do the trick for me and I just breeze through the day with ease.
I exercise 4 to 5 times a week, the feel good hormones I get from that are priceless. I can face my day with positive vibes.
I dance myself silly when a song I like appears on my playlist, (when I am at home of course) we can’t be getting our groove on during working hours now can we…
I listen to all genres of music, at work, at home, when I work out, music is definitely good for my soul.
I go out with my friends occasionally and party on, you know what they say, all work and no play.
I blog, my new found hobby, I thoroughly enjoy it and I bump into interesting reads every day. It is a different and educative hobby, I still don’t know why I didn’t start on it earlier.
I make sure I smile and be very helpful at work no matter how my day is going, I make it a point that everyone I assist leaves our office with good things to say about our company and me obviously!
When a client gives me a hard time at work, I tell myself they probably have their own personal issues that they are going through and don’t take it to heart.
I surround myself with happy people, there is nothing as bad as having friends who are always complaining about something and never taking time to look at the positive things in life, no matter how small.
I try and do something nice for those close to me, a phonecall, a surprise visit, a small gift, anything to make someone else’s day.
I don’t let the father of my daughter steal my joy when we disagree on something, I just breathe in and out and say forgive him for he does not know any better (attempt to pray for him instead of the other insane options going through my head) and my day goes on.
I try to mind my own business as much as I can that way drama and gossip are not a part of my life for the sake of peace.
And most importantly I pray, I put all my burdens and worries to God because if i didn’t do so I know I would have probably lost my mind from worry by now.
Find out what makes you happy and do exactly that. Start one day a time and before you know it each day will be better than the last. Life is too short; make a list of things you need to do each day and make sure you make happiness an everyday goal!