Social Media & Dating

Social media has taken relationships to a whole new level.  Now you get to publicly share your private and intimate moments that you indulge in with your significant other. It’s interesting to watch couples in love, swooning all over each other and posting selfies with on social media with cute captions.  However, I have mixed feelings when it comes to publicising who you are dating on social media platforms for the following reasons:

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Image from Pinterest

Pros

  1. When you are in love you want the whole world to know and it’s only normal to want your social media friends to share your happiness.
  2. When you post your significant other people will know they are taken and *hopefully* stay away.
  3. Posting your significant other is also a sign of confidence in who you are dating.

Cons

  1. If you need to conceal your significant other from the world then what the heck are the two of you doing together? Please note there is a difference between being private and being a big secret.
  2. Most people on social media have a sense of entitlement. They feel that just because you share pictures with your significant other they now have the right to know intimate details of your relationship; people prying and needing to know why a couple broke up.  I have been guilty of this myself at some point in my life.  It’s not a good trait, we should learn to mind our own business…then again, people make it our business!
  3. You can’t help but feel like you have to live up to social media expectations because people now expect to see demonstrations and expressions of your love on special occasions. Take a birthday for instance, people want to see what you get on your special day and if your significant other is really #BaeGoals or not (feel free to Google that hash tag).  Talk about pressure!
  4. Some people are attracted to someone who is already taken…need I say more?
  5. Imagine posting your significant other every single day on social media and then one day you break up and you have close to 100 pictures of them all over your online space. The stress of deleting each picture one by one is something I shudder to imagine.
  6. You can’t express your opinions about relationships in peace without people thinking you are talking about your significant other. You can’t even join the #MenAreTrash movement because we will quickly assume your man is trash too! L.O.L

Ever noticed how people with money don’t make noise about it?  Take Strive Masiyiwa for example, the man is a whole millionaire but you don’t hear ad nauseum about his success or how he spends his millions. I think it the same applies to couples who are genuinely in love.  They keep it classy, you know they are dating, they share pictures yes but they keep it to a minimum and you actually look forward to their social media posts.

Then there is this one guy whose name I shall not care to mention but brags about his financial status on social media platforms like, come on!  I mean dude, you have money, we get it but why do you feel the need to tell us ALL about your life in a bag of chips?  Gosh, is he annoying or what?!  These are my sentiments about couples who over-share on social media.  Why do you find it necessary to bombard people with posts about your significant other every other hour telling us how great your relationship is going? Sometimes I can’t help but feel that people like that feel inadequate and are seeking validation, then again that’s just me.

Showcasing your love on social media is just like having a wedding.  Some will be happy for you, others will not be amused and the rest might wish you misfortune.  BUT that doesn’t mean people should stop getting married because people will receive the news differently.  Love should be celebrated whenever it can be! – Batanai Tuwe

What are your thoughts on the subject?  Do you share pictures of your significant other on social media platforms?  If yes, how is that going for you so far?  If not, what’s the reason behind it?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

I Found My Purpose

I never really wanted a lot of things badly enough.  I could like something alright but really want and need it was a different story.  I went through the greater part of my life having a luke warm attitude towards a lot of things until one fateful day.  The day I went for my regular medical examinations and hopped on the scale to reveal how I had gone from being fat to obese was a life changing moment.  It was at that very moment that I decided I was going to do everything in my power to do something about the excess weight I was carrying around.  I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.  Why is this important to note?  Well, when I was full term and a few days before giving birth to my baby girl I was 85kgs so you can imagine the horror!  It was time to get up and do something!

I was 85kgs and NOT pregnant.

With no money to subscribe for gym membership I was left to my own devices.  I decided running would be my best bet since it was free and all I needed was myself.  The first days were hard and I power walked through the most of the distances I had set out for myself.  After weeks  of pushing myself I eventually ran for longer without stopping and I got all the motivation to keep going…I haven’t stopped running since.

I did not have much information to work with when it came to my eating habits so I simply worked with what other people were trying out.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night and sending a message to my friend telling her how hunger was stopping me from sleeping.  I had adopted a diet where I ate a very heavy breakfast, sometimes it even had sadza, a heavy-ish lunch and close to nothing but a glass of water and fruit for supper.  The scale was not moving, I was unhappy, I was hungry.  It was only after reading an article on the internet that I realised that I was doing myself more harm than good and started learning the art of preparing healthy balanced meals.  That was one of the best things that ever happened to me!

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I am going to be the first NikeWoman from Zimbabwe 🙂

Running got much more fun.  I had set out distances to try out and each time I managed to run through them.  My goal was to run 10K and if I could do that I would have officially accomplished the biggest goal in my life.  It did happen and it was just as I had pictured it.  From thereon I started challenging myself to run not just longer but faster and the hobby slowly became an addiction.  When I started I showcased my fitness journey on social media.  I knew I would have no choice but to show up come rain(in every sense of the word) or shine because my followers would be expecting to see my progress.

I switched things up and added Zumba, Yoga, NRC Workouts, Aerobics, Swimming and Tennis.  I realised that running alone was going to get boring at some point so the more activities I included the better variety to choose from.  I was bubbly, stronger, happier, fit and lean.  I did all this from the comfort of my home and never had to part with a single dime to reach my desired goal.  I have bumped into friends from College who can’t believe I haven’t changed at all because I am physically the same person.  If only they knew how much change that has taken place mentally as well.  I am a completely different person now.

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With family and social media followers starting to compliment on my progress I felt the need to to work harder.  When I realised the impact my journey had on people around me I created a WhatsApp group which has turned into a movement termed #RunWithFitnessBae.  At the beginning of the year it was trending because of a Fitness Challenge I had planned and organised.  The movement has participants from different parts of the world but mostly Africa.  I have taken the movement from WhatsApp to Facebook, Blogging and Instagram.  As it stands I am currently the only Zimbabwean Fitness Blogger and I create fresh content each week!

It brings me so much joy to know that even though my fitness journey was mainly pushed by a case of depression; the fruits that have come from it have actually created a passion and purpose that I could have never imagined.  I have managed to inspire people across the globe; especially mothers, to exercise and get back to their pre-pregnancy bodies.  Those who have come into contact with me have become better not only physically but emotionally as well.

I am a woman on a mission to make the most of every opportunity life throws at me.  I believe everyone can exercise for the body that they want and if you can not afford the gym there is no excuse not to get fit.  I am a living example of what park runs can do for you.  I am currently 74kgs and I have never had to part with a single dollar to lose weight.  I have been through it all, the fad diets, the hoping for miracle weight loss, the drinking fruit juice all day but at the end of the day what I have learnt is that you have to eat right, exercise and be patient.  The results will come, just make small changes everyday and you will be amazed at what your body can do.

If you would like to talk to someone about weight loss or weight management then I am the person for you.  If you would like to be a part of the current Winter Challenge feel free to join us, all the more competition for the team.

Never give up on what you truly want, it’s not everyday that people get to find out what it is that fires their soul!

I found my purpose.  The one thing that makes me get up in the morning and look forward to starting the day.  The one thing I dream of, the one thing I get excited talking about, the one thing that keeps me up at night writing up ideas and chewing up my data while I do research on the internet.  The one thing that I can’t live without.  I think, eat, dream, live fitness.  I am Fitness Bae.

I have a series coming up on Tuesday 18 July, be sure to log onto my Fitness Blog and subscribe.

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©MaKupsy 2017

 

The Single Independent Mother

I have some saving tips from a single mother who is in her 40’s.  I think everyone will benefit from this post and I took this pretty seriously because she clearly has more years experience on raising a child single-handedly.  Take out your pen and paper…

  1. Cut your hair, imagine the amount of money you are spending on hairdos that you could be saving for better use for you and your child.
  2. Live within your means.
  3. Do not compare yourself with people who are married, they have a double income you only have one, stay in your lane.
  4. Save some money each month, it doesn’t matter how little, trust me it will go a long way.
  5. Do not buy on credit, especially clothes, save to pay everything with cash.
  6. Take a lunchbox to work with healthy home made meals or sandwiches.
  7. Make friends with women in a similar situation who understand your struggles better.
  8. Do what works for you, do not try to please anyone.
  9. Set targets for yourself and make sure you reach them, it might take time but eventually you will get there.
  10. Learn how to sew, simple things like replacing a button and hemming your pants will go a long way for your pocket.

If you live by most of these rules you might actually get round to going for that holiday you have been dying for!

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Photo Credit : @summer_rose_ (Instagram)

©MaKupsy 2017

Woman Crush Wednesday

Today is Wednesday and I am seriously crushing on Pokello Nare.

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Pokello Nare

The urban dictionary defines a crush as a painful experience, very common among middle schoolers (and high schooler’s and even adults to a lesser degree) that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if u prefer), being attracted to them physically (most common), or emotionally- also called ‘puppy love’ also: the object of this affection.

After reading that I can safely say my crush falls in the obsession department. Hear me out, I have reasons and this is why she is my woman crush:

  • She is confident
  • She is a go getter
  • She is a business woman, she even now has her own shoe line! pokello.com
  • She is a mother
  • She loves her son to bits
  • She has a smoking hot body!
  • She dresses really well, no wonder she calls herself the Queen of Swagger  she takes the crown any day
  • She has lovely taste in clothes and shoes
  • She has lovely skin (when I grow up I want to have skin just as flawless)
  • She has a pretty smile
  • She wears to die for designer shoes you just want to stare at her Instagram pictures all day long
  • She has taken wearing your own hair to the next level, she rocks her short hair ever so nicely
  • She has one heck of a nice car, last time I heard it was a Range Rover Sport but i’m sure she has more now
  • Did I mention that she has a smoking hot body? well, im going to say it again!

Over and above I think she is truly an inspiration, love her or hate her she is making her mark and I am sure a lot of women are taking notes.  Keep doing what you’re doing Pokello Nare you are a constant reminder that “The best revenge is massive success.”

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Pokello Nare

PS. I only uploaded two of her photos so that I don’t look like a serial stalker!

MaKupsy

H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

Let’s not get excited, this post has no secret formula on how to live happy ever after.  This is just me sharing the things I have decided to do in order to have a moment by moment feeling of happiness in my life.  I have tried for so many years to get happiness from other people, not knowing that if those people left they would take their happiness with them.  That was when I realised that I was indeed miserable without them because I had no idea what made me happy.

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Image from Pinterest 

Years later, happiness comes to me naturally.  Of course I have my bad days, I am only human after all and on a scale of 1-10 I am right there on 8.  So here’s a list of some of the things I do to keep the good aura going in my life.

  • I speak to my daughter over the phone every single day.  Hearing from her makes a good start to my morning and I tell her how much I love her each day.
  • Mondays used to be the worst but now I get up wear my favourite outfit and show up for work all glamourous.  Bright colours on a Monday do the trick for me and I just breeze through the day with ease.
  • I exercise 4 to 5 times a week, the feel good hormones I get from that are priceless.  I can face my day with positive vibes.
  • I dance myself silly when a song I like appears on my playlist, (when I am at home of course) we can’t be getting our groove on during working hours now can we…
  • I listen to all genres of music, at work, at home, when I work out, music is definitely good for my soul.
  • I go out with my friends occasionally and party on, you know what they say, all work and no play.
  • I blog, my new found hobby, I thoroughly enjoy it and I bump into interesting reads every day.  It is a different and educative hobby, I still don’t know why I didn’t start on it earlier.
  • I make sure I smile and be very helpful at work no matter how my day is going, I make it a point that everyone I assist leaves our office with good things to say about our company and me obviously!
  • When a client gives me a hard time at work, I tell myself they probably have their own personal issues that they are going through and don’t take it to heart.
  • I surround myself with happy people, there is nothing as bad as having friends who are always complaining about something and never taking time to look at the positive things in life, no matter how small.
  • I try and do something nice for those close to me, a phonecall, a surprise visit, a small gift, anything to make someone else’s day.
  • I don’t let the father of my daughter steal my joy when we disagree on something, I just breathe in and out and say forgive him for he does not know any better (attempt to pray for him instead of the other insane options going through my head)  and my day goes on.
  • I try to mind my own business as much as I can that way drama and gossip are not a part of my life for the sake of peace.
  • And most importantly I pray, I put all my burdens and worries to God because if i didn’t do so I know I would have probably lost my mind from worry by now.

Find out what makes you happy and do exactly that.  Start one day a time and before you know it each day will be better than the last.  Life is too short; make a list of things you need to do each day and make sure you make happiness an everyday goal!

 

MaKupsy