My Sleep Paralysis Experience

Sleep paralysis happened to me once before when I was still in College.  It did not give me too much of a fright.  I brushed it off as something that happens to everyone in this lifetime.  However, the year 2013 gave me such chills I have never forgotten the experience to date.  It happened sometime in winter, those two incidents have stuck in my memory bank all this time and nothing will probably shake it off, just writing about it is actually starting to make my heart beat very fast.  This is my sleep paralysis experience…

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Image from Pinterest

It had been a long day and all I wanted to do that evening was take my evening bath and get some rest.  I remember fixing a hot water bottle and making sure my apartment was securely locked and all lights were switched off.  (I am extremely sensitive to light so I sleep in complete darkness.)  Within minutes I had dozed off to la la land.  I rarely dream, or maybe I just forget the dreams because they are probably not that interesting but on this particular night I felt a presence in my apartment.  I wasn’t sure if I was asleep or awake but I lay as still as a log to make sure whatever that had entered would leave without noticing me.  All my doors were locked and closed but from my bed I could see through the walls and I saw a dark shadow move from the entrance to my apartment all the way to my bedroom.  I could not make out the face of the shadow but it had an outline of a woman.  The shadow came right next to my bedside and started moving down towards me.  Petrified does not even begin to explain what I was feeling at that moment, I was unable to move or scream for help.  The shadow kept coming closer and closer, it felt like it was trying to suck the life out of me, I saw the hollow outline of a wide open mouth and my eyes nearly popped out of my sockets!  I started screaming for help but in my attempts I could tell that I was screaming but no sound was coming out of my mouth.  I was paralysed and could not do anything; I honestly thought I was going to die right there and then.  I started to say the Lord’s Prayer over and over again and just before the shadow had completely enveloped me I woke up!  I was sweating, panting and crying all at the same time, I didn’t understand if I had been awake or asleep but whatever the case was I had no intentions of staying at home after such an experience, I checked the time, it was 1am and I had to go somewhere, anywhere but home…

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Image from Pinterest

You would think after such an experience sleep paralysis would never occur anytime soon right? Wrong!  Just a few days after that incident I had another bad “dream”.  I was being chased by a woman through the woods.  I was running as fast as my feet could carry me but this woman kept coming for me.  I ended up in a graveyard.  There were men at work digging up a grave but I was puzzled why they were doing so because it was late at night.  I called out to them to help me but it seemed they could not hear me.  I tried to hide from the woman chasing me. There were several tombstones in sight and thought she would not see me if I was behind them. It was pointless because they kept crumbling down each time I went behind any one of them.  I started feeling tired and I was running slower now and before I knew what was happening one of the graves I stepped on started giving in and I was being swallowed into the ground!  I kept screaming for help to no avail and as I was being swallowed in I found myself falling right onto my bed and feeling an uninvited presence pulling me from underneath my bed.  This time around I could not move, scream or say a prayer, I just felt tears streaming down my eyes.  I remember hearing a knock on my door but it felt so faint.  Within minutes it kept getting louder and I somehow managed to wake up and rush to the door.  The moment I heard a female voice from the other side of the door I screamed the place down and woke up.  Almost everyone in the apartment building was alarmed and the woman on the other side kept asking if I was okay and if I should open the door.  I simply said I was okay and she explained that she had not been knocking on my door but on my neighbour’s door.  I didn’t open my door and went back to my bedroom.  I looked at the time.  1am!

That week was probably the worst week of my life.  I had a friend who worked by a 24 hour food outlet and I had to go and sit and chat with him or sometimes just sit in the shop and play on my phone.  I needed a distraction, something, anything that would stop me from experiencing another sleep paralysis incident. I remember bumping into my friend Larry on one of the random days.  We were both grabbing pizza at the food outlet and I am sure he was puzzled as to why I was getting food at around 2am.  I was sleep deprived for an entire week, going to bed was my biggest nightmare.  I didn’t know what to do to make it go away but it eventually did go away after popping some sleeping tablets and then having trouble sleeping without taking them, the vicious cycle!

I did get back to sleeping soundly and I have not experienced another sleep paralysis incident.  However, I did learn that sleeping alone might be a great thing but can be a great disadvantage when things like this happen.  It got me thinking that I could actually die in my sleep and no one would know until days later.  It also got me thinking that when you are scared out of your mind it would be nice to actually have someone to cuddle up to and probably have them wake you up when they hear that you are experiencing some form of disturbed sleep and cut your horrific experience short!

I am curious to hear from you, have you experienced sleep paralysis at any point in your life?  If yes, how did you deal with it?  Please share tips, I am sure they will help a soul or two.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

15 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

You are definitely one of the lucky few people on this planet if you have not gone through a heartbreak.  In my opinion the pain that comes with it is right there next to labour pains.  It is something you don’t want to experience more than once because the pain usually scars you for weeks, months and sometimes years to come.  I asked some of my favourite people on Twitter to share how they managed to get over a heartbreak and as always they didn’t disappoint!  I like to keep opinions anonymous so names are not mentioned.  Their healing processes and some of mine are in the list below.  Kick back, grab your notepad and fix yourself a strong cup of coffee you will want to keep this!

  1. Cry. Cry yourself to sleep, cry yourself through the day, cry each time you listen to that sappy song that reminds you of him, heck cry yourself a whole river!  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, crying will help wash away the pain.  Whatever you do, DO NOT internalise your emotions.
  2. Get high or die trying. Seriously.  Nothing makes you feel better like a good old smoke.  You are guaranteed of short term memory loss which is a good thing because you can focus on the feel good sensation and forget about your broken heart for a while.  Proven effects include joy, euphoria, contentedness and a care-free attitude!
  3. Cut contact, otherwise you will find yourself snooping on their social media this is very unhealthy.   I suggest you actually take a social media fast for the next 30 days in a bid to protect yourself.  The last thing you want to do is see your ex partner all loved up on Instagram.  That will actually do you more harm than good, heartbreak and social media are NOT friends!
  4. Get up under someone new.  Try this at your own risk.  An orgasm a day keeps the stress away.  Yes, I made that saying up but it’s a sure way to take your mind off your ex but just make sure whoever you decide to have sex with will actually shower you with multiple orgasms otherwise the whole act will be pointless and leave you frustrated.
  5. Listen to some music. Not the sappy sad stuff by the way. Something upbeat to lift up your spirits.
  6. Move to another place.  Try getting a job in a town hours away from your current location or better yet leave the entire country.  That way you can heal faster without any memory triggers.
  7. Keep yourself occupied. Spent time with friends, do your favourite things.  Try positive distractions such as going out and doing something fun especially something new. Amusement Park, dancing; getting out and not focusing or dwelling on the heartbreak.

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    Photo Credit: @tendai_angela (Instagram)

  8. Put yourself out there. You don’t have to rush into another relationship but just go on dates and feel wanted. It helps to not be lonely and also just for the confidence boost.
  9. Alcohol! , it numbs the pain.  Those who don’t drink can safely turn to ice-cream or comfort foods; hello calories!!  I have tried and tested this one and all I can say is that alcohol will fix the problem for that day but when you wake up sober all the pain will come rushing back.
  10. Accept that it’s over.  This is probably the most crucial point because without this you won’t be able to.  Accept it and do not be bitter, okay TRY very hard not to be bitter.
  11. Positive self talk and reflection.  Remind yourself it’s their loss and not yours. BUT also look at your contributions to the demise of your relationship.  Avoid self blame at all costs but focus on reflecting. This usually happens further down the road to mending your heartbreak.
  12. Let go completely.  You are not trying to do the whole “Oh we’re broken up but we’re cool and modern so we can be friends” – it just prolongs the pain! CUT TIES…Cut it, Cut it, Cut it, you need to cut it!!
  13. Be kind to yourself.  You will have days where you will be upset with the world.  It happens, embrace it.
  14. Time.  It mends the heart.  I know others believe getting straight into another relationship helps you get over another one. This is not everyone’s portion.  Avoid going from one mess straight into another.  That way when you say “I am over someone” you really over them. There are no comebacks.  Time is often under estimated; especially nowadays because everyone wants an instant fix. There is NO QUICK FIX for heartbreak. This is why we end up having relationships with broken people who haven’t healed from past mistakes. Be fair to the next person. Take your time, you do not heal overnight.
  15. Understand that heartbreak is a part of life.  Not just in romantic relationships but in life in general.  Lovers, friends and family will disappoint you so always be prepared to find a way to deal with it.  Learn from your experience and remember that you are not the first or the last one to experience this.  This too shall come to pass…

How have you dealt with heartbreak in the past?  How long did it take you to finally reach the point where you could bump into your ex and they will have zero effect on you?

Let’s talk about it, I would love to read your thoughts.

©MaKupsy 2017

This Is Why You Are Not Happy

I used to have a lot of friends but with time we outgrew each other because of different milestones we all went through which is perfectly okay.  Now I think I have probably have four really close friends who I know I can call on whatever time of day and just catch up, vent or talk about how we can grow in all life aspects.  I hardly mention names when I write up my posts because when someone reads my blog they always know when I am writing about them and the same applies today.  Let me tell you about a conversation I once had with a once was good friend of mine.  Let’s call him D.

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Image from Google

The one time we had gone out for coffee and we were catching up on life and all things random.  He asked me what I had planned for the weekend and frankly I had a whole list of things I wanted to do but I didn’t have the means.  I still remember what I told him.  I wanted to go for a long drive till I got to a place with a lake; park there and take in the sunset and calming surroundings.  After that I would probably take a dip because I love me some water and I always have a reason to swim.  That said, K said to me; “You realise you don’t need to wait on anyone to do this, you can do it on your own.”  I was like dude, are you mad?  How is that even possible you do know that I don’t have a car right?  He simply told me that he knew but that was all the more reason to start working towards buying my own car! Okay, that was a shocker but the shocker made me actually start looking at things differently.

You realise you don’t need to wait on anyone to do this, you can do it on your own.”  

I have a great example of how I made the first change.  I once joined a fitness group on Facebook that has been there for quite a while now.  I was excited to be part of a team that enjoyed fitness as much as I did but the downside was these guys only published posts for their regular members and so my runs and workouts were always pending.  I was gutted and told myself, self, you either have to suck it up and accept that this is how its done in this group or start your own group!  Of course I started my own group, are you mad, why subject myself to such misery?  It was the best decision that I ever made and it made me realise change can be just a click away!

We always have an excuse not to do something.  When you really look at it you are usually the one stopping yourself from achieving the majority of your goals.  Oh it’s too difficult, I don’t have what it takes, maybe if I had this, it’s because I went to this school, only people from certain backgrounds get to have that.  The excuses are plenty!  Listen; you only get to do this life thing once and you better make the most of it!  I used to be this person; always with a list of excuses but after the talk with D I grew up instantly.  If you don’t have a car then by all means take public transport to wherever you want to go, if you don’t have money to go to the gym then workout from home, if you are passionate about music but you are not part of a band then start your own band.  Stop waiting for a saviour and save yourself already.  Actually, you read this everyday on social media but you just won’t do anything about it but here I am trying to convince you.  Why am i even wasting my time?  As and when you are ready you will make that change.

I still don’t have a car by the way but I have set a target for myself and started working towards getting one.  My dream car is the Land Rover Discovery; she’s going to be my baby in this lifetime, one day is one day!  For now my first car will be a little fuel saver that takes me all over the country on a budget.  That way I will get to travel more and get to take a tonne of pictures, create memories and live my best life now.  I am still living my life like it’s golden by the way, pedestrian life and all but once I get my car it will be on level 47646727 so you guys should just watch this space!

Now let’s get talking, what is stopping you from living your best life now?  Do you want to die and not have lived as many happy moments as possible?  You know you can die today, right here and right now?  Would people say you were a bubbly soul who did everything in their power to spread happiness or you just lived each day unhappy and ready to stab yourself with a spoon out of sheer boredom?

 

©MaKupsy 2017

Build Your Man Up They Say

I see this topic almost everyday on my Twitter Timeline.  For a minute there I tried not to share my 2 cents on the topic but the opinionated me just couldn’t let this one slide anymore. I have mixed feelings on the topic so you can be the judge of where I exactly stand at the end of this piece.  Just thinking about building is exhausting now just imagine building a whole entire human being!   I like to use examples, I have been through the most when it comes to relationships(thanks to bad decision making) I always have a point of reference.

Exhibit 1  

I once wrote about this guy some years ago, he is ex number four.  I worked on this guy like a real actual project!  I did a complete makeover.  Changed how he dressed, showed him how I liked to be treated; insert coffee dates, dinners, random lunches, flowers, gifts, even made sure I had bills covered because I understood that he was going through a rough patch so being the loving girlfriend that I was I made sure all was well. Lesson number 1, DO NOT go around taking care of these grown ass men please because guess what, we broke up anyway and he moved on and started making sure he was paying the bills and making sure his new girlfriend was well taken care of.  Guys!!  This is not even a laughing matter but I am laughing anyways.  Like what the fuck was wrong with me?  Why was I housing a grown ass man and giving him free lessons on how to be a great guy only for him to leave and be Prince Charming to the next woman?  Allow me to laugh at myself some more.  This thing we call love can really play with our senses.

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Exhibit 2

I don’t think we can call this one an exhibit but seeing that I already have a heading with that let’s just play along.  I remember the stories most of our parents used to tell us when we were growing up.  About how they started of with nothing but ended up with beautiful families, cars and houses.  I admire them very much, I really do; but I think times have changed for us.  Back then it was okay to start off from the bottom but now both men and women want a “finished product” so to speak.  How many are willing to start from scratch with someone who has zero vision?  Definitely not me!  These days it’s not just the men who have a checklist, even women now want a man with certain things and are not willing to back down on them.  Things like he has to at least have his own place, he should drive, not have a bunch of baby mamas, must be well traveled…the list is endless really depending on the individual.  I for one will tell you that a man who can not cook risks chances of not dating me because let’s be honest, there is nothing as sexy as a man who can whip up a fire meal!

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Image from Google

Exhibit 3

This is not to say that some people who have actually built their man up did not live happily ever after, they actually did and it’s beautiful to hear about these stories.  I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend when we were 18 and over a decade later they are still together, they even got married!  They used to have some major differences but because they loved each other and they had a mutual end goal things worked out well for them and now they are happily married.

My thoughts in a nutshell?  I think that love is a gamble.  You can win or lose when it comes to relationships.  You can do everything in your power to make sure things work out but sometimes your best isn’t good enough and someone will leave.  I have also come to the realisation that no one sings the song of “Build Your Woman Up”!!   My advice, if you have put in the work and the next person decides they want to leave.  Refuse to be dumped.  Like seriously, after investing your time, efforts and mind banging sex someone tells you it’s over.  Say no, it’s not happening, we are in this till the end.  Show up at their doorstep with breakfast the next day like everything is normal.  LOL, okay, that’s not very great advice and please don’t follow it. Take heart; building someone up might be the best or worst thing that might ever happen to you.  It really is about the two of you in the end.

What are your thoughts on the topic?  Have you been in a situation where you gave it your all but it crumbled before your very own eyes.  Let’s talk.

©MaKupsy 2017

Refuse To Settle For Less!

PRIORITY : a thing that is regarded as more important than others.

I am one of those people who believes in planning almost everything.  From what I am going to do from the moment I wake up, what form of exercise I will do that day, what I am going to wear, what I am going to eat, what I will do for my lunch break…generally how everything must go.  I would like to believe it’s the same for everyone else because you can’t tell me you just go through your day without a plan on what you will do with your day.  Okay, not everyone then but most people have a to do list, right?

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where do you find yourself on someone’s to do list?

Where is the problem exactly then, seeing that most people have to do lists that they work on day in and out?  My problem is when people around me choose to make me number 50 on their to do list and expect me to jump at the drop of a hat when they feel it’s time for me to show up. (Fortunately for me I don’t take that nonsense lightly). We all make time for the things we love or things that are important to us.  Here’s a good example; there is no way someone will call you to make a date at 8 pm and expect you to think that makes you special in any way.  Someone who really wants to see you will tell you when the day starts not at some ungodly hour.

Know your worth and if you realise that someone is taking you for granted and not treating you the way you should be then I say to you DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS.  I know it all too well, I have been through this and I do not want to see anyone else going through it. Too many times we hope and wish that someone will one day see the light and put us first on their to do list.  I wouldn’t wait to see how that ends because it always ends with you going further down their list of priorities.  Be selfish with your time.  This life is too short to be fighting for someones attention when you can be putting your time and effort into other productive things…like shopping and working on how you can get a better and mind blowing orgasm by yourself. It’s all about self love.

The long and the short of it learn to discern where you are wanted and where you are simply getting your time wasted. The moment you have to beg, plead, negotiate for someone’s love, time or affection is the moment you leave because you deserve nothing but the best!

©MaKupsy 2016

Run With Fitness Bae

We had a Run Everyday Challenge that ran from the 10th to the 16th of October.  I must say this was the toughest week of my life!  The challenge was to run 5 kilometres every single day for 7 days and the participant who had the best pace won.  There were 13 participants, please check out the table below to see how awesome everyone in the group was.

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Unfortunately not everyone managed to run every day and we came up with a penalty.  We decided that your slowest run plus 10 seconds was going to be slotted in for the days you didn’t run. Trust me, this method saw some participants who were ranking first place move down the grid.  I think it was a fair move because running is hard, waking up early morning and sacrificing the comfort of your bed is harder and running every single day and telling yourself you can get through a run is hardest of it all!

Thankfully we survived the challenge but it came with a lot of changes for everyone in the group:

  • Bed time was super early for most morning runners because most people had to make sure they were done with their run by 6am.
  • I can confirm that when I went to bed I was completely lights out. I am a light sleeper and most times I wake up at least twice during the course of the night.  With the challenge nothing of the sort happened; after jumping into bed I was probably dead till my alarm went off at 4am!
  • Most runners complained of fatigue.
  • I remember dreaming of new running routes to try out!
  • The classic one was when were one of the participants stated they were too tired to have sex with their partner thanks to the running challenge.
  • Women talked about how running actually helps during your period. Somehow exercise helps with the cramps and when one of the participants tried to back out of the challenge due to her period we encouraged her to keep going, it only gets better.
  • I for one can tell you that my appetite went out the window. I was hungry in the mornings, lunch time as well but come supper time I was just too tired to feed myself!  I think I lost a couple of kilograms but thanks to my bathroom scale dying out on me last minute I will never know!
  • Calvin went crazy on the last day of the challenge and ran at a pace of 3mins 12seconds on the last kilometre of his run. WHO DOES THAT??  No one in the group ran anywhere close to that pace and we were all green with envy because that’s a pace we only dream of.  Well done dude!
  • Kudzai also set a great pace, look at number 8 on the grid.  Unfortunately he missed a run or two and he lost the first place.  I actually had my fingers crossed that he would win but I guess he needs a longer pair of “secret socks”.
  • The one thing I was very happy about was that most runners had not ran 5 kilometres in a very long time others never at all but this challenge pushed them to their limits. Now that’s what a challenge is all about!  Nothing but serious business when it comes to fitness!
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Natalie

The winner was NatalieShe is truly an inspiration (and very young too).  The pace she set out for everyone was out of this world!  I mean, who runs an average of 5mins 12 seconds per kilometre for a whole 5 kilometres!  Like I said she is young and straight out of High School where they play sport, do all those cross country events almost every day so of course she was going to win! (This is what sore losers sound like. LOL)  A big congratulations to Natalie, she did very well and because she was the winner of this challenge she got to choose what the next challenge will be.

The hash tags will be #NatalieChallenge #RunWithFitnessBae.  In order to win you must take part and when you post your run on social media don’t forget to use the two hashtags I mentioned.   This time around there are prizes to be won and they will be announced a few days just before the challenge starts.  If you want to take part please contact KudzaiUmba or myself and we will add you to the WhatsApp Fitness group.  There is a lot of information on and fitness, encouragement, good laughs and healthy food recipes so if that’s your cup of tea come and join the family.

Well done to each and every single person who took part in this challenge.  I know some participants have not taken on this kind of pressure before but look at how you sailed through this!  This is the beginning of many challenges to come.

The next challenge is from the 31st of October to the 4th of November 2016.

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I hope you had a weekend as lovely as mine.  If you have any questions on the next running challenge or you just want to join and get started on your fitness journey don’t hesitate to get in touch.  Today is Monday by the way, the perfect day to get up and do something!

©MaKupsy 2016

I Went Through His Phone And This Is What I Found…

Curiosity killed the cat…

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I did that poll two days ago and it got me thinking I had to add it to a post I wrote sometime last year.  As you can see from the statistics most people say they do not go through their partners’ phone which is a very good thing if you ask me.  For those who had not read this post before this is your chance to read through and enjoy. 

I have never been one of those people who want to poke my nose in other people’s business but once you start dating a guy who leaves you wondering where you stand with him or what he has been up to believe me the curiosity will kick in and you will go through his phone like its nothing!  It becomes a very destructive and addictive habit though so if you decide to go that path be prepared to never have peace.

I have had some pretty heart wrenching encounters in the past and that just taught me a lesson (for that day only) to stay away from your partner’s phone.  For those who have always wanted to go through his phone and wondered when best to do it;

  • try when he is dead drunk,
  • when he is asleep or
  • the few seconds that he dashes to the loo.

Please be warned that you should do this at your own risk as you might not be able to deal with whatever you find in his phone.

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Image from Google

I will list a few messages I bumped into in the past, I remember word for word for some of them but for others I have a rough idea what they read.  I will also include who had sent the messages; here goes:

  • I am not in love with her.  I am only staying with her because I feel sorry for her.  I want to be with you and I am going to do everything that I can to make that happen. (my then boyfriend)
  • How was the evening with the girl you hooked up with from church, did you tap that ass? (my then boyfriend’s close cousin)
  • You shouldn’t marry her.  If you marry her you will be making the biggest mistake of your life.  You ex was a better fit for you and if you let her go you will be doomed. (my then boyfriend’s best friend) 
  • Send me some of your nude photos. (my then boyfriend)
  • Please send me airtime, I am low on credit. (my then best friend asking my boyfriend without my knowledge)
  • She is so fat I don’t even know why I am dating her, you know I like slim women. (my then boyfriend)

I can only remember the very juicy messages and the ones that really got to me the rest were really nothing to go on about.  What did this experience teach me?

  1. Not everyone who smiles at you actually likes you.  Take that then boyfriend’s best friend for example.  This guy used to come to our place and I would cook lunch, supper, breakfast, you name it just to make sure he was comfortable and yet his ass didn’t even like me!  What a fucking asshole!  Once I knew that’s how he felt about me I ended those privileges, what a prick!
  2. Even your so called best friend can get up to something behind your back.  I couldn’t help but wonder what else she used to ask for…
  3. Do not date anyone who bashes your self esteem, yes, I used to be fat, but you pursued me knowing I was fat, at what point did you realise that I was actually not your type?
  4. His friends are not your friends.  Do not be fooled!

These random experiences made me promise myself that I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH SOMEONE’S PHONE.  You will die an emotional death after you discover things you were not prepared to deal with.  To make things worse you can not exactly ask about the messages because you would have breached someone’s privacy.  You have no right to be going through a phone that does not belong to you.  At the same time it helps you see where you stand with someone but it really isn’t advisable to do that.  I would say talk things through if you feel there is something that is bothering you.  And even if you do decide to continue going through your partner’s phone and they do find out that’s what you get up to, trust me they will find ways to hide things from you and you will never find a single grain of evidence.  Bottom line is, if your partner is cheating the truth always has a way of revealing itself…just sit tight and relax.

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Image from Google

The amusing thing about going through your partner’s phone is if you find out something that hurts you the first thing you tell yourself is that you are going to break up with them and leave.  Sadly, most people stay and complain and bore us to death about how their partner is cheating…As for me, I stuck around for a while(that puts me in the boring department) but eventually things got from bad to worse, hearts were broken, words were said, trust went flying out the window but yes, that is life, we get to experience all sorts of things before we decide to make changes.  And that’s how I ended up deciding I won’t ever go through my partners phone because nothing good has ever come of it.  Ideally it would be nice to go through your partner’s phone and find out they are planning a surprise party or a getaway weekend but how often does that happen???

I would like to find out from you if you have gone through the Private Investigation phase of wanting to know who your partner has been talking to.  If yes, what did you find and how did you deal with it?

Remember the quote at the start of this blog about the cat?  Well…

Satisfaction brought it back.

©MaKupsy 2016

Sanganai Creek, Mazvikadei

Today is such a beautiful day, I woke up feeling happy and rested.  I really needed some time out because I was having a serious case of burnt out.  It’s important to recharge the body that works!

I recently got back on Facebook after years of deciding it really wasn’t my cup of tea.  However, a programme I was studying encouraged me to open an account and I am back at it again.  I can safely say that this was a great idea because so far I have seen events and activities that speak to me.  Thanks to Facebook I got to find out about a weekend trip that was being organised by Piaxao Travel & Tours and I just saw the word Adventure and got excited before I finished reading the event page.

Anywho, I had always wanted to go to Sanganai Creek but because I am not mobile (yet) I always thought it would not happen anytime soon. Thankfully these guys were organising the transport, accommodation, activities and food all one had to do was pay USD60 for the weekend do.  We were supposed to meet up at 9am on the Saturday but the organisers did not have everything ready so we waited a good solid hour in the sun while they went to get the trailer for the bus.  I was already annoyed, is this not something one does the night before a trip?  Eventually we left at 10am and started on the journey that is 120 km out of Harare.

The first thing we did when we got there was take selfies, naturally.

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Then we proceeded to our designated rooms.  You don’t even want to know the state of affairs that was in those rooms.  I didn’t even take photos, I was that disappointed!  To be honest, before we go any further let me tell you the things that really pissed me off about this trip before I get to the fun bits.

  • Communication skills were non existent. For example, once we got onto the bus we didn’t get any introductions.  Nothing on our intended destination, how long it was going to take to get there, if we were going to make any stops.  Just get on the bus and go type of thing.
  • People were misinformed.  In the WhatsApp group chat people were told to bring linen and guess what, they did exactly that.  When we got to our rooms the bunk beds had no linen or blankets.  IMAGINE!  I feel cold at night no matter what the season so I had both linen and an extra blanket with me but imagine the rest of the guys who just brought linen, I am completely out of words…
  • The food was terrible.  I am very particular about the things I put into my stomach especially given the fact that I know I can cook up a storm myself.  I actually didn’t eat the greater part of the trip because I got sick.  I am not sure if it’s the water or the food either way I felt short changed.
  • Once I was added to the WhatsApp group the first thing I asked was if the swimming pool was blue.  I was assured that it was and to my surprise the pool was GREEN! I remember someone telling me they saw a dead fish in the pool after our swimming session. OMG!

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That said, let’s get to the fun part.  Nothing is ever completely a train smash, I must admit that this trip was the break I needed after weeks of feeling like I just wanted to take the next flight and leave adulting for a while.  The group was amazing!  There were couples, singles, married and kids too.  We had different activities that encouraged team building and before you know it we all felt like one big happy family.

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My favourite activities were the ones were mud was involved.  I enjoyed watching it but not exactly taking part in it.  I made sure I was in hiding when it was my turn.  There was mud wrestling and crocodile crawl.  The amount of dirt that we had by the time that activity was done!  It was worth every minute though.

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The guy in the yellow tshirt above, also known as The Fat One, you do not want to mess with him!  The aim of that game is to wrestle your opponent and have them topple over.  Once one person is down you move ahead until the whole team is off the log.  They put mud on the log so not only is it slippery it’s hard to balance, wrestle and keep your feet locked!  However, The Fat One had everything under contol and their team won.  It was a fun sight to watch!

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I didn’t take part in this activity, I was too scared and kept thinking of the embarrassment if I fell.  I was hiding behind a tree the entire time!

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We went for a breakfast cruise on the Sunday morning.   I loved this part; it was refreshing.  Minus taking lots of selfies and videos when I finally got to settle down I took in the views and clean air.  We spotted a few houses by the lakeside.  Now that is something on my Things To Buy in this lifetime.  Imagine waking up to a beautiful view and the sound of waves every morning.  Too beautiful!

20160904_094908.jpgAfter the cruise we went horse riding, once again I didn’t take part.  I have done horse riding before and the experience was not something I wanted to relive.

It was time to pack up and go but before leaving we passed through Mazvikadei Dam.

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By this time everyone was exhausted and the heat wasn’t playing nice at all.

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There is a story behind the sculpture behind us.  Apparently the woman was taken/ abducted/stolen (I honestly don’t know which word is befitting)  by a mermaid and after days was released.  When she came back she was a traditional healer.  Her gift spread far and wide and people from all walks of life started to come to her village for consultation on different life issues.  History has it that when people arrived they were asked “Masvikasei?”  (How did you get here).  However, white people did not know how to say Masvikasei but pronounced it as Mazvikadei.  Interesting…

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Part of the group

It was a great trip and we had tonnes of fun. I am sure if the event organisers sort out some of the issues I pointed out the next group won’t feel let down.  I can safely say this trip turned out to be a success because we all decided that we were going to make the most of the situation and make the weekend count.  I can’t wait for my next road trip!! (we are going to organise this one ourselves)

 

©MaKupsy 2016

Save Time, Give Feedback!

Feedback : information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.

I want to talk about feedback today.  I feel a lot of people forget how important it is in our day to day lives.  I will give two examples on my experiences with feedback.

I have been to one three many job interviews in my life and to be honest most of them just ended there, like right there on the day of the interview.  There was never a call to tell you why they didn’t choose me for the particular job, what I could have done to improve my chances of landing a job in that field or simply an apology to let me know that I had failed the interview and they had found a better candidate.  How does someone who is job hunting then know how to up their game and enter the job market?  It beats me to be honest.

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Anyways, the job interviews were not all so bad because l also had the pleasure of attending some where even after you didn’t get the job you got a phone call to at least know what went wrong.  I remember years back when I was still in college I applied for a job at the British Embassy.  I was called for an interview a few weeks later and when I left I really felt like I had aced it.  I am sure most people are familiar with the feeling, you even get this feeling after an examination where you know you did really well or you failed dismally before you even get the results.  I got a phone call a few days later to tell me that I had done very well in the interview BUT I was still in College and they encouraged me to first finish my programme and apply next time there was a job opening.  Years later I applied again and I got the job and I was completely over the moon!  A few jobs after this experience it was back to the no feedback interviews and when I landed my current job I made sure that once I had passed my probation I told my supervisor that it was important to let interview candidates know when thy didn’t make it for a job interview.  She was actually surprised and had never given it much thought before and since then whether you make it or not you are guaranteed to get a phone call from us telling you how things went and a few tips on what you can do to better your chances in future interviews.  To be honest it also helps you ease your frustrations and stop hoping that every call that comes through could possibly be news from an interview you attended.  Now isn’t that nice?

The second case of no feedback I have come to know through blogging is when you ask someone to help you with something and they go absolutely cold turkey on you.  I remember I had a time I would write interview blogs and the first people I asked to feature on my posts were from Twitter mainly because that is where I get most of my blog readership from.  I remember sending out emails and direct messages and some people would completely ignore me, others would agree to it and then simply go quiet when it was time for the actual interview and then a handful would have me send them all the questions and information I needed from them and they would never get back to me.  Talk about wasting my precious time!  (shame on you) I would like people to realise that it is okay to say “NO”.  It saves a lot of time and energy and no one will hold anything against you.  Saying no is actually feedback in case you didn’t know.

I hope someone reads this and learns a thing or two especially the employers who don’t get back to an interview candidate.  Waiting for never ending weeks with no feedback will play havoc with your mind.  Try and ease someone’s mind by just letting them know if they got the job or not.  It won’t take much of your time.

Have you had any experiences where you were never got feedback on something?  Let’s talk about them..

MaKupsy

Hello New Mum!

The following few tips are from me and some of my friends.  I hope they will come in handy.  Please feel free to add any other tips in the comments section.

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  1. Keep your hands clean.  You should always make sure you wash your hands when breastfeeding and handling the baby’s bottles.
  2. Not every baby will like breastfeeding.  It’s not a failure on your part; remember a baby is a unique little person with likes and dislikes
  3. There will be A LOT of sleepless nights.  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  Don’t even try to clean the house or do laundry or get yourself busy with something else.  The moment the baby sleeps it’s your cue to also get some rest.
  4. DO NOT pick up the baby the moment the baby cries.  Give her time to soothe herself otherwise she will get used to having you scoop her up at the very first sign of tears and that will be a sure way to stop you from doing anything else.
  5. Breastfeed your baby as often as you can.  Breastfeeding is like medicine for the baby.  It will stop the baby from catching colds and flues and diseases that are prone to attack new born babies.
  6. You will have to master the art of taking super quick baths in case the baby wakes up.
  7. Change the baby’s diapers frequently.  You don’t want the baby to have an uncomfortable rash.
  8. Make Google your friend.  In the world of technology where information is just at the tip of your finger try and search for any baby concerns you have before rushing to the doctor.  You might be surprised, most answers you get actually work.
  9. Make time for your spouse if you are raising the child together.  It can’t be about the baby all the time.  (Not that it’s a bad thing) but your partner also wants to feel loved.  You can have someone watch the baby for a day while you catch up on each other.
  10. You alone know your baby. If you feel something is not right then it probably is. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
  11. DO NOT try and do too much too soon.  Yes, I know you will miss your pre pregnancy body and want to get right back to exercising but give yourself time to heal.  After all you were pregnant for a whole nine months and it will take time for your body to start getting back to normal.  Relax and enjoy your baby for now.
  12. A baby will be happy one day and a downright monster on another day. That doesn’t make you a lousy mum. You will bathe the baby, feed the baby, sing for the baby and nothing will work.  It’s just baby having a bad day.
  13. Make sure you eat healthy and balanced meals and keep your mind from worry.  Babies seem to sense it when you are unhappy and end up crying for days because mummy is not happy.
  14. When people come to see the newborn baby, please give them tasks to help you with around the house. Let them know beforehand that a little help will be required. The last thing you want is to be standing around catering to a clan of twenty family members while trying to heal a torn vagina (sorry for the graphics) and handle a newborn. They can feel free to cook and clean up after themselves.
  15. Speak positive words of affirmation to your baby and say all the wonderful things you would want them to grow up to be.  Also pray for them, nothing is as powerful as a mother’s prayer.
  16. Speak out if you need help and you are failing to cope on your own.  After all,

It takes a whole village to raise a child.

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This blog post is dedicated to my friend who is expecting a baby any day now.  I am totally excited for him and his wife.  It is going to be both a fun and eye opening adventure for the two of you.

MaKupsy