You are definitely one of the lucky few people on this planet if you have not gone through a heartbreak. In my opinion the pain that comes with it is right there next to labour pains. It is something you don’t want to experience more than once because the pain usually scars you for weeks, months and sometimes years to come. I asked some of my favourite people on Twitter to share how they managed to get over a heartbreak and as always they didn’t disappoint! I like to keep opinions anonymous so names are not mentioned. Their healing processes and some of mine are in the list below. Kick back, grab your notepad and fix yourself a strong cup of coffee you will want to keep this!
- Cry. Cry yourself to sleep, cry yourself through the day, cry each time you listen to that sappy song that reminds you of him, heck cry yourself a whole river! It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, crying will help wash away the pain. Whatever you do, DO NOT internalise your emotions.
- Get high or die trying. Seriously. Nothing makes you feel better like a good old smoke. You are guaranteed of short term memory loss which is a good thing because you can focus on the feel good sensation and forget about your broken heart for a while. Proven effects include joy, euphoria, contentedness and a care-free attitude!
- Cut contact, otherwise you will find yourself snooping on their social media this is very unhealthy. I suggest you actually take a social media fast for the next 30 days in a bid to protect yourself. The last thing you want to do is see your ex partner all loved up on Instagram. That will actually do you more harm than good, heartbreak and social media are NOT friends!
- Get up under someone new. Try this at your own risk. An orgasm a day keeps the stress away. Yes, I made that saying up but it’s a sure way to take your mind off your ex but just make sure whoever you decide to have sex with will actually shower you with multiple orgasms otherwise the whole act will be pointless and leave you frustrated.
- Listen to some music. Not the sappy sad stuff by the way. Something upbeat to lift up your spirits.
- Move to another place. Try getting a job in a town hours away from your current location or better yet leave the entire country. That way you can heal faster without any memory triggers.
- Keep yourself occupied. Spent time with friends, do your favourite things. Try positive distractions such as going out and doing something fun especially something new. Amusement Park, dancing; getting out and not focusing or dwelling on the heartbreak.
- Put yourself out there. You don’t have to rush into another relationship but just go on dates and feel wanted. It helps to not be lonely and also just for the confidence boost.
- Alcohol! , it numbs the pain. Those who don’t drink can safely turn to ice-cream or comfort foods; hello calories!! I have tried and tested this one and all I can say is that alcohol will fix the problem for that day but when you wake up sober all the pain will come rushing back.
- Accept that it’s over. This is probably the most crucial point because without this you won’t be able to. Accept it and do not be bitter, okay TRY very hard not to be bitter.
- Positive self talk and reflection. Remind yourself it’s their loss and not yours. BUT also look at your contributions to the demise of your relationship. Avoid self blame at all costs but focus on reflecting. This usually happens further down the road to mending your heartbreak.
- Let go completely. You are not trying to do the whole “Oh we’re broken up but we’re cool and modern so we can be friends” – it just prolongs the pain! CUT TIES…Cut it, Cut it, Cut it, you need to cut it!!
- Be kind to yourself. You will have days where you will be upset with the world. It happens, embrace it.
- Time. It mends the heart. I know others believe getting straight into another relationship helps you get over another one. This is not everyone’s portion. Avoid going from one mess straight into another. That way when you say “I am over someone” you really over them. There are no comebacks. Time is often under estimated; especially nowadays because everyone wants an instant fix. There is NO QUICK FIX for heartbreak. This is why we end up having relationships with broken people who haven’t healed from past mistakes. Be fair to the next person. Take your time, you do not heal overnight.
- Understand that heartbreak is a part of life. Not just in romantic relationships but in life in general. Lovers, friends and family will disappoint you so always be prepared to find a way to deal with it. Learn from your experience and remember that you are not the first or the last one to experience this. This too shall come to pass…
How have you dealt with heartbreak in the past? How long did it take you to finally reach the point where you could bump into your ex and they will have zero effect on you?
Let’s talk about it, I would love to read your thoughts.