You Can Make It Happen!

I like to describe myself as a “Go Getter” because from a very young age I have managed to make things happen on my own.  I think the huge age gap between my siblings and I played a part in that because I felt like an only child.  They were in boarding school the greater part of the time and I was at home with my parents with no one else to play with except myself. That right there is the one reason I became one adventurous child.  I had nothing but time on my hands and I experimented with climbing trees, playing tennis and attempting to walk from preschool to our house because my dad had delayed in picking me up.  The adventures are plenty and I am going to tell you all about them.

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3 year old me 🙂 Kariba

Swimming

Anyone who claims to know me will tell you that I LOVE to swim.  That’s my summer highlight.  I am out in my swimwear ready to dive into some cool, calming water.  It’s my next exercise of choice, actually, it’s not even an exercise it’s one of the many things I love to do.  How did it all start?  Everyone in my family can swim and the time we stayed in Kariba we would all go to the pool for an afternoon of fun in the sun.  They took me with them, put some floaters on my arms and let me enjoy the water.  When we moved to Chinhoyi a few years later my swimming obsession went crazy because we had a swimming pool by our house and at every given opportunity I was out there trying to learn how to swim with or without supervision.  I remember the one time I slipped and nearly drowned; I thought if my mother had found out  I had gone unsupervised I was going to die twice!! I continued to teach myself how to swim and by the time I started preschool I was water confident and remember graduating from the shallow end to the deep end in a matter of weeks.  Years later, Miss Kupsy has inherited my love for swimming and I take her with at every opportunity.

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Image from Google

Riding A Bike

I had a cute little red and yellow tricycle. Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of it but I remember it very vividly.  I loved that little tricycle, it got me to the swimming pool faster than the speed of lighting. I soon outgrew it and got a bicycle with helpers as a birthday gift.  Seeing that my parents were at work the greater part of the time it was up to me to learn to how to ride the “big bike”.  I don’t know how many times I fell off that little bike but with every fall I kept getting back up and trying again.  That very day I remember my dad driving in and me racing my bike down the drive way to show him that I had figured out how to ride my bike.  He was so proud of me and promised to let me ride it to see one of my friends who stayed close by after a few days.  I still have scars on my knees from the countless falls I had on that day but they were all worth it because if I had not pushed myself I probably would have never learnt how to do so.

60e946cc-7cba-4ca4-b3ab-fdfc6e93561aSocial Media

I remember begging the father of my child to teach me how to use Twitter.  The guy would act like I was talking to myself.  He just said open an account and figure it out.  I was thoroughly annoyed.  I really thought he would sit down with me and give me a full on lecture on how to Tweet!  I was dying for a break from Facebook so I decided I would sign up and give it a try.  My first tweet read; “Tweet tweet hurray” not bad for a first timer right?  Don’t ask about the hash tags though, in my defense I was still new to the application and I was trying to navigate my way around it.  6 years later my followers have grown and not only do I have a Lifestyle Blog; I also have a Fitness Blog and a Fitness Movement that stemmed from my use of Twitter and social media.  My social media presence has exposed me to different opportunities and I continue to network with people who have dropped some valuable gems in my life.  I can safely say that the use of social media helped me to find my purpose.

If there is one thing that I have learnt through all the above experiences it is the fact that self taught skills are the best experiences life has to offer.  If you really want something sometimes waiting for someone to come and spoon feed you is not the best of decisions.  Get up and do something about those things you want to learn or do.  It can be writing a book,(watch this space for my book in December 2018!!) going back to school, designing a website, applying for that Visa and get to explore a whole new continent.  Whatever the case might be the power is within you to make it happen.

 

However, you must remember that it will take time.  If you want to build something worth your while make an extra effort to learn as much as you can on the subject at hand, network with those in the know, keep voice memos when an idea comes to mind; you don’t want to let it slip your mind!  Above all else, keep believing that you can do anything you set your mind to.

You are the creator of your own destiny.

Do tell me about some of the things on your to-do-list.  Have you already started working on them or you are waiting for a miracle to happen?

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

Hello June, I’m Still Slaying!

Today I feel so good I have nothing but feel good hormones rushing through my veins!  Each year since 2015 I weigh myself on the 1st of June just to see if my weight has made any drastic change over the year.  I can safely say that in 3 straight years I have managed to maintain the same weight range.  Amazing how I am the exact same weight I was a year ago…

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S/O to Sammy for the beautiful poster 🙂

This year I have a plan for winter and I came up with a Winter Challenge that will be sure to keep the weight off.  Everyone is invited to take part it will be a lot of fun and you don’t want to miss out on this.  Today I took a before picture to use against my after picture once the 60 Day Challenge is complete.  I can’t believe my abs are disappearing before my eyes, I blame the white wine!  You can read the post I wrote last year same time below and get to see how far I have come on my health and fitness journey.  Those taking part in the challenge, good luck, it is NOT going to be easy.

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Winter is NOT my friend, look at that pouch 😦

1 June 2017: Weight 74.3kgs

1 June 2016: Weight 74.3kgs

1 June 2015 : Weight 74.9kgs

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Hello and good morning.  It’s a beautiful Wednesday and today I got off the scale with a huge smile on my face.  Can you believe that I have managed to maintain the same weight range in the space of a year.  I was actually surprised myself because given that I haven’t been running as often as I used to I would have thought I would have gained weight.  After posting this question on Twitter

experts have to help me with this one. I’m losing weight each week but I don’t run as much as I used to. What am I doing right?

Myk replied and said ” @MaKupsy running on a regular basis can temporarily increase your metabolism , which burns calories for energy.You’re still reaping the benefits”.

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June 2016

That said, it’s winter this part of the world and getting up in the morning to go for my run is becoming a lot harder.  I have been setting my alarm for 5:15am for the past two weeks and I have lounged in bed for an extra 15 minutes and then sometimes I have even decided to not go running at all because my bed will be warm and comfortable.

However, this week I have come up with a new strategy.  Instead of torturing myself by waking up early and actually not clocking in any runs I now just wake up when my internal cooperates.  Say today for example; I woke up at 6:15am.  I didn’t have time to even think about whether I felt like running or not.  I jumped out of bed, wore my running gear and left the house in a flash because time was not on my side but my run still had to be completed.  See, I can safely say that in winter I can work best under pressure because this alarm thing is certainly not working out.

I am also watching what I eat.  Thanks to this miserable weather I am feeling hungry most times and I told myself that if I don’t eat right and mind my portions I might end up gaining all the weight I have worked so hard on losing.  I am having fruits, vegetables, meat (minus beef I am not a fan of it AT ALL) extra small starch portions and drinking room temperature water because I simply can’t stomach cold water right now!

If you’re a runner what winter tips and tricks do you have that you have tried and tested?

©MaKupsy 2017

Issa Birthday!

The month of April is the month where all the self motivators; fearless spirits and beautiful minds were born.  – FitnessBae®

If there is anyone who looks forward to their birthday it has to be me!  I love celebrating my big day in any way that brings a smile on my face.  I am one of those individuals who will go out and buy herself a gift because I learnt from a birthday many years ago that if you don’t make your day special on your own no one else will.  This year I already got myself a new phone and I might just throw in a pair of quality running shoes in the mix and I will bug my Husby(he is my friend not my husband but still call him Husby, strange I know!) for perhaps a sports watch and I know he will tell me I should go and jump over a cliff.  LOL

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The past year has taught me many different lessons but today I will share two of them with you.

The first lesson is that life is too short to hope and wish that good things will come your way.  If you want something you have to go out there and get it yourself.  Yes, you have heard this line before but trust me, it’s true.  I want my Fitness Bae Brand to grow in a very big way and because of that I am working over time to make it happen.  I don’t do it half halfheartedly, I give it my 110% attention and that is the reason why you see me at events in and around town.  I want to continue to learn how to be a better person and how to make my brand locally, regionally and some day internationally recognised.  I am doing everything in my power to be visible in a world full of so many creatives but I know that some day soon my hard work will pay off.

The second lesson is that you can’t change a human being.  I am dead serious about this one.  A human being who can change is a human being who wants to change on their own.  I remember having this conversation over a bottle of wine a few weeks ago with a friend of mine.  We talked about how most women get into relationships and want to change someone from the way they dress, talk, heck; even how they walk!  We both concluded that people are not projects and it is not anyone’s job to try and change them into a completely different person.  I am personally guilty of this and in the past I have tried to change a partner into my specifications and that went downhill pretty fast.  The long and the short of it is that if you love someone you have to take them as they are and learn to live with both their good and bad side, no one is perfect darling.

I am thankful for all the wonderful friends that surround me who contribute to my sanity; without them I would probably be in a very dark place.  Thank you to everyone who sent Voice Notes, Birthday Wishes, the early morning phone calls; I am in filled with nothing but warm fuzzy feelings.  One of the messages I received this morning got me all teary eyed and officially made my birthday extra special.

Happy Birthday love!
You are at the top of my list for people I have met on Twitter, not Malawian, that I can actually call a friend.
Today on your birthday I want you to celebrate you: the beautiful person that you are- you love people and you love serving people.
This year has all things falling into place for you (still waiting for the abs -though you are already goals to me 😏😉)
So am wishing you all the strength, positivity & energy required to see you through this year-living your dream & kicking ass while at it!

May God shock you with what He will do to and with your life. May you remain open, available & teachable.

Happy 21st birthday Ma Kupsy😏

A happy birthday to PineappleTinaKuda and Simba, Issa Celebration!

©MaKupsy 2017

21 Things Learnt From Past Relationships

I like to keep my blog as interactive as possible because I want the people who read my blog also feel a part of this journey.  I posted a question on Twitter and asked my followers to respond and this is what I got.

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@chaluva263 Love is not enough to sustain a relationship, it takes a lot more.

oney don’t buy loyalty.

@TinoNyandoro The thought of long term commitment scares me.

@ZaneleM_ That I wasn’t ready to be a girlfriend. I wasn’t ready for the commitment and dedication required.

@mangaliso21 I learnt that trust is like virginity; once lost it can never be regained.

@nyashanekutenda Not to take people for granted.

@YoliSpice Dreams can be shattered and you learn from them to create new and improved dreams, after all life does goes on.

@ICallMeCharmzyy I need to learn how to be selfish.

@zedd_tahlz Once a cheater, always a cheater.

@Do_Mie_Son To be honest and open about your feelings and be real to yourself.

@_Vickie_M Love in its “purest” form is a beautiful thing but on the flip side it can enslave you to your partner.

@yard_aric Be honest…I lost the love of my life for not being honest.

@DESIGNER_ANDRE Be in a relationship with someone who respects,appreciates,supports your goals and passion in life at all times.

@rufaro_et To be careful of emotional blackmail /manipulation.

@itskfizzle I’m currently too selfish and immature for relationships.

@the_dimpled_one A person will treat you how you allow them to. Stick to your standards and you will be surprised 😉

@tofunmi_ Love is not enough, really.

@stuntuya Our hearts crave companionship. Our minds never got the memo.

@kikkybadass I learnt that people will lie to get what they want ,I learnt how selfish humans can be at times,I learnt to love myself more.

@makholisa Sometimes God removes people so we meet better people.

The one lesson I learnt from past relationships is that I do not need to transform myself in order to be loved and accepted.  The one made for me will love me just as I am, flaws and all.

Care to share your own lessons from your past relationships?

©MaKupsy 2017

The Dating Game

 

Early morning phone call…

Him: Hello, how are you this lovely morning?

Her: I’m great honey how are you you today?

Him: I’m good babes. I was thinking, how about I pick you up around 10am and we do breakfast and catch up?  It has been a really long week and we haven’t spent time together.  We can decide what to do with the rest of the day after breakfast; make sure you wear that dress I like.

Her: That would be a lovely way to start the weekend.  Let me get some more shut eye so that I have enough energy for the rest of the day.  I’m excited already; I hope we are trying out that new place we saw the last time?

Him: Yes we are and make sure you don’t take forever to get ready I know you babes.

Her: I promise I will be early even though we both know that’ impossible.  Will see you soon honey.  Kisses

Him: Bye babes see you soon.

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Shingi & Tonde

Do these things still happen?  If yes, please show me the direction so that I can go as well!  I remember conversations like these when I was in my early 20’s.  I LOVED it, it was more real, more sentimental.  I blame the very first boyfriend I had.  That guy was probably from another planet because he really went all out.  There is no experience he did not take me through.  There was never a dull moment the time we dated, surprises were his middle name.  You know how women just love those.  When I look back I realise that he took his time to know what my interests were and coupled them with his so that we were both happy in the end.  Picnics, dinners, breakfasts, flowers, birthday trips, my first flying experience, road trips, learning how to drive…the list is endless and really making me nostalgic right about now.  If I am honest with myself after dating him the experiences with the people I dated just went downhill from there and everything became so obvious, he killed the magic guys, he killed it!  LOL

When my friends and I have our random chats about men we are always entertained!  We have concluded that there are two types of guys; the ones that will take you kunogocha (going for a braai) and buy you a lot of alcohol and hope you get drunk.  To think all that money could have been used for a more intimate sit in date.

Then the other ones who will take you out for a proper date, make arrangements that actually involve things you also enjoy doing then pick you up and sometimes even buy you a dress for the date!  Yes, those guys are out there and they do exist; you just don’t find them in the yellow pages.  I am not saying “kunogocha” can’t be termed as a date but surely when you are still trying to get to know someone the options are plenty and that one should be the last one on your list.  Are you trying to impress someone or trying to never see them again?

I remember reading somewhere that when a man is into you; you will know it through his actions.  Can we safely conclude that those who don’t make an effort are really not into a woman?

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Another beautiful date idea; go for a photo shoot. 🙂

If you are trying to get attention from a woman by all means let your creative juices flow!  The early days can make or break your dating chances.  You want to be remembered as that guy who did the one thing that no other guy had done for her.  Let the other random no so exciting dates come after you have won her over.  At least you would have shown her that you are capable of keeping things exciting.  Being spontaneous really goes a long way.  I know you are reading this and thinking a relationship involves two people why is the man being the one to do all the work here?  Well, the answer is simple; the man is the hunter, us women are just out here waiting to be hunted.

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Shingi & Tonde

Thank you to Shingi and Tonde for the beautiful pictures.  They are my favourite Twitter couple and when I have free time I stalk them and just smile.  Love is a beautiful thing to watch and they do it so well.  I wish them nothing but love and happiness.

Let’s talk.  What are your thoughts on dating?  What have been your best and worst experiences so far?  Is your man calling you to make a date or it’s whatever happens that day happens.  Guys, how are you spicing up your dating game?

I hope your weekend was great!

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

 

A Man’s View On The Single Mother

In a thousand words, I will touch a potentially sensitive subject in modern day Zimbabwe. This subject is about, single mothers whom we as Zimbabwean society have called M1’s or M2’s. The 1 or 2 suffix being the number of children they have. M1 is basically mother of one, but in Zimbabwe it generally points only to single mothers. However, a married mother of one is not referred to by that label.

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Image from Google

Once again our plastic republic has put these women in a category, so that they can treat them differently or judge them. Automatically if I were to have a relationship with an “M1’, my friends  and family would discourage me from so doing and speak so much evils about the group. Family may dis-own me. Yes, we have seen this happen. The question is; are they really less worthy than single girls with no children? Do childless girls necessarily make better wives than single mothers? I ask because a lot of girls in modern Zimbabwe are already indulging in sex outside marriage, they just haven’t got pregnant yet. They might escape it before marriage too but many are also doing it. So, society is going to condemn the ones that made a mistake one-day and got pregnant?

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Image from Google

In modern Zimbabwe, a girl not having a child is not consistent with her being decent and Holy. Having a child does not make her evil either.  Have you ever thought that  an “M1” you condemn so much has done less damage than the “K1”. What do I mean by “K1”? “K1”- is a term I am using to say “Killer Of One”. While society and families are dumping garbage talk on the strong queens that decided to keep their babies, despite their fathers bailing out, there are those that seem not to have children because they did abortions. So Mr. I Judge M1’s before you go around judging single mothers and feeling special about your girlfriend not having a child. I want to tell you that in modern Zimbabwe, there is a possibility of your girl having had an abortion at one time especially if you found her already sexually active. (I am not saying she had one either, but it’s possible)

So here’s scenario 1; Janet is having a sexual relationship with Jack, they conceive a baby. Jack doesn’t want in, he tells her to abort. She aborts the child, so by the time I meet Janet; she’s not an M1 to me. I have no idea what happened. Deep inside only she knows what happened. She doesn’t hope to do it again, but she could do it again.

Scenario 2: Alice is dating Jack, they conceive a baby. Jack doesn’t want in, he tells her to abort. She refuses to abort and Jack says he wants nothing to do with the baby or her. He says uncalculated cruel statements like, “Kana ariwangu murutse undipe,” (If the child is mine, vomit him/her and give me). She is hurt but keeps her baby. I meet that girl and think she has an amazing personality (you must have an amazing personality to keep your child in a judgmental society).

However society will not agree that she is amazing because she has a baby. Society will try and make me see Janet and say, “Why don’t you choose Janet instead? Do you not see that Alice is an M1?” The decision making is made harder for me now, because society is armed with daggers. There’s also a father out there whose child I have to carry the cross for. Let me say, to all those man, that have taken this load upon then, may there be increase in your daily work. To the men that refuse to sustain their own seed and further pressure our queens, if the law does not catch up with you, may you lose out on all the money you refuse to pay for the welfare of your child.

“Did you just curse them Michael?”  Oh so someone is going to see the evil in my curse to them, but they do not see the evil in society making girls that kept their children feel unworthy?

I applaud all the women that are the mothers and fathers of their children but hang on, work hard and have changed their perspective of life. Except for a few single mothers, those are some of the most hardworking women I’ve known. The family throws piles or verbal rot onto them daily behind closed doors. They silently cry and wake up knowing no one else seems to love their children and only they can go out there to get bread for the children. They have drama with the father over taking care of his own child in some instances; they still take that torture, get up and work hard.

This plastic society pressures girls that are already pregnant, to opt for “K1”. She is going to pay an unethical doctor large sums of money with the aid of the father, who is not ashamed to perform this act. They destroy that child’s life. Now all the activists that support abortion, hide behind the “what if she was raped” excuse, yet the average abortion happening in Zimbabwe is a product of sex given by consent. No matter how many daggers society will stab you with for having that child out of wedlock don’t be pressured to take your child’s life. Life is at conception. The only proven way to escape the trouble is abstinence before marriage, which most of you ridicule. It holds no regrets though in this type of society.

If there is a single mother in your immediate community whom you have been holding judgmental daggers to, may that attitude change from henceforth. In fact go an extra mile in appreciating her to compensate for the life sentence she has been given by society and her own relatives. If you’re a man and you think she’s a good woman, regardless her past, marry her.

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Image from Google

Let’s have this conversation on Twitter, follow me @Mcpotar

You can also check out my website www.mcpotar.com

 

©MaKupsy 2017

Build Your Man Up They Say

I see this topic almost everyday on my Twitter Timeline.  For a minute there I tried not to share my 2 cents on the topic but the opinionated me just couldn’t let this one slide anymore. I have mixed feelings on the topic so you can be the judge of where I exactly stand at the end of this piece.  Just thinking about building is exhausting now just imagine building a whole entire human being!   I like to use examples, I have been through the most when it comes to relationships(thanks to bad decision making) I always have a point of reference.

Exhibit 1  

I once wrote about this guy some years ago, he is ex number four.  I worked on this guy like a real actual project!  I did a complete makeover.  Changed how he dressed, showed him how I liked to be treated; insert coffee dates, dinners, random lunches, flowers, gifts, even made sure I had bills covered because I understood that he was going through a rough patch so being the loving girlfriend that I was I made sure all was well. Lesson number 1, DO NOT go around taking care of these grown ass men please because guess what, we broke up anyway and he moved on and started making sure he was paying the bills and making sure his new girlfriend was well taken care of.  Guys!!  This is not even a laughing matter but I am laughing anyways.  Like what the fuck was wrong with me?  Why was I housing a grown ass man and giving him free lessons on how to be a great guy only for him to leave and be Prince Charming to the next woman?  Allow me to laugh at myself some more.  This thing we call love can really play with our senses.

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Exhibit 2

I don’t think we can call this one an exhibit but seeing that I already have a heading with that let’s just play along.  I remember the stories most of our parents used to tell us when we were growing up.  About how they started of with nothing but ended up with beautiful families, cars and houses.  I admire them very much, I really do; but I think times have changed for us.  Back then it was okay to start off from the bottom but now both men and women want a “finished product” so to speak.  How many are willing to start from scratch with someone who has zero vision?  Definitely not me!  These days it’s not just the men who have a checklist, even women now want a man with certain things and are not willing to back down on them.  Things like he has to at least have his own place, he should drive, not have a bunch of baby mamas, must be well traveled…the list is endless really depending on the individual.  I for one will tell you that a man who can not cook risks chances of not dating me because let’s be honest, there is nothing as sexy as a man who can whip up a fire meal!

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Image from Google

Exhibit 3

This is not to say that some people who have actually built their man up did not live happily ever after, they actually did and it’s beautiful to hear about these stories.  I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend when we were 18 and over a decade later they are still together, they even got married!  They used to have some major differences but because they loved each other and they had a mutual end goal things worked out well for them and now they are happily married.

My thoughts in a nutshell?  I think that love is a gamble.  You can win or lose when it comes to relationships.  You can do everything in your power to make sure things work out but sometimes your best isn’t good enough and someone will leave.  I have also come to the realisation that no one sings the song of “Build Your Woman Up”!!   My advice, if you have put in the work and the next person decides they want to leave.  Refuse to be dumped.  Like seriously, after investing your time, efforts and mind banging sex someone tells you it’s over.  Say no, it’s not happening, we are in this till the end.  Show up at their doorstep with breakfast the next day like everything is normal.  LOL, okay, that’s not very great advice and please don’t follow it. Take heart; building someone up might be the best or worst thing that might ever happen to you.  It really is about the two of you in the end.

What are your thoughts on the topic?  Have you been in a situation where you gave it your all but it crumbled before your very own eyes.  Let’s talk.

©MaKupsy 2017