How To Lose A Great Guy

One of the main reasons I started blogging was because of a guy.  I had caught feelings so bad I thought they were going to suffocate me in my sleep and I would die without him ever knowing it.  Fast forward to a few months after posting that blog we started dating.  Please note he had not seen that post because it was the only post I had made so thankfully nature took its natural course.

However, this was going to be a long distance relationship.  He worked out of the country and he would only come home twice a year.  We spoke about the challenges we would face where distance was concerned and given that he worked on a cruise ship it meant that the greater part of the time I would not get to speak to him over the phone because most times he would be at sea.  When you are in love you think everything will be a walk in the park.  We made promises to each other before he left and everything was bliss.

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Image from Google

The first few weeks were manageable.   We got to communicate through WhatsApp every other day and each time I saw his name pop up on my screen my face would light up.  I was at that point I would get upset if anyone else tried to send me a message because I only wanted to hear from him.

Weeks turned into months and communication was getting less and less because he had to work.  At first I played the understanding girlfriend, after all I already knew what I had signed myself up for beforehand.  I kept myself busy with other activities and tried not to obsess over carrying my phone around everywhere in case he tried getting in touch with me.  When I didn’t hear from weeks I started feeling blue.  I remember sending a message to my friend and telling her that I wasn’t okay and I was missing my boyfriend so much.  She reassured me that all would be okay and as soon as he was free he would definitely get in touch with me.

It’s not easy when someone who means the world to you is miles away and you can’t do anything but wait to hear from him.  The most I could do was email him and you can only send so many emails before you start sounding obsessive.  I had to wait…Eventually he would get time to chat and Voice Messages have never sounded so precious.  I felt better again and I was back to my happy self.

I really fought the feeling of ending things.  I was getting more and more frustrated by the day.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I didn’t love him, I did but my language of love is Quality Time and in order to feel closely connected to my partner I have to spend time with him.  That wasn’t happening; not that I didn’t know it wasn’t going to be happening but I didn’t realise it would be so hard!  Why did I even get myself into this?  Oh yes, LOVE.

I ended up sending him a message telling him I was unhappy and that the relationship was over.  (My heart was breaking as I typed every single word to him).  He only got the message a few days after I sent it and he never replied.  That was the most regrettable thing I have done to date.  A part of me wanted to send another message telling him I didn’t mean what I had said.  I really didn’t but I think I was just longing for his attention and I went about it the wrong way!  I knew his schedule and I knew he would be back home in a few weeks so I assured myself that he would surely visit when he arrived and say something; anything.

The moment he landed in Zimbabwe he came to see me!

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Image from Google

That was the longest hug I had ever given him, it was heartfelt and I genuinely had missed him tonnes.  Everyone in the office was saying hi to him because they knew him from visits he would make when he was around.  I have never felt so much relief, in my head I thought him coming to see me was a good sign.  He picked me up after work and we went for a drive.  We talked about everything, his travels, my fitness obsession, he was shocked at the amount of weight I had lost since the last time we had seen each other.

After avoiding the real issue at hand he finally told me that he had come to see me because he wanted us to remain in good books even after things had not gone well between us.   He told me he had seen my message and he had been saddened because he thought we were going to work out.  He also said that he was not one to push if I had made up my mind he was not going to be in a relationship with someone who wanted out.  At this point in my head I was screaming noooooo, that wasn’t what it was I just wanted your attention I didn’t mean to break up with you! I really lost out on a good thing.  He was a great guy but I was childish about putting my feelings across.  Once he was done talking I just said it was okay and we went on to have dinner and he dropped me off at home.

We spoke a few times after that, he even went all out to make my birthday super special.   When he left the country that time around he only sent me a message to tell me he was leaving and when he arrived on the other side of the world he sent another message and that was the last time I heard from him.  I missed him, I missed him so much until I had to change my phone number because I knew I was never going to hear from him again.

The motive of this story?  Do not break up with someone unless you really feel that you want out.  Hoping that the next person will come running and begging for you to take them back or make it work might not actually happen.  You will end up single and miserable and wishing you had not sent that message or made that phone call. If you are really over someone tell them in person because that from what I have learnt shows maturity.

Have you been in a situation like this before?

I want to know from the guys, have you taken someone back after she told you she didn’t want to be with you anymore?

 

©MaKupsy 2016

 

 

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Self Worth

I got this message from a friend on mine through WhatsApp.  I thought I would share it here, it’s quite thought provoking.

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In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

‘What kind of man are you looking for?’

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in
the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said,
Yes.

She began to expound,

‘As a woman in this day & age, I am in a
position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for
myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the
help of any man… or woman for that matter. I am in the position to
ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated,

‘I am not referring to money. I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said,
‘I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need
conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.
I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I
don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is
a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business.  I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said,

‘You are asking for a lot.’

She replied, “I’m worth a lot”. Send this to every woman
who’s worth a lot…. and every man who has the brains to
understand!!!

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Let’s talk about this piece; your thoughts ladies and gentleman!

P.S. I have no idea who wrote this please credit them if you do.

©MaKupsy 2017

Throw Back Thursday : #TeamFitness

They say there is strength in numbers, and thanks to this group we have on Whatsapp that saying has only proven to stay true. We share all sorts of health and exercise information and encourage each other along the way. I am NOT a Whatsapp Group fan but this one is just what I needed. The ladies here all have lives to live so there is no bombarding of endless meaningless messages on the group. .There is 7 ladies in this group, all with different strategies but all with one agenda “To keep fit.” Hence the group name #TeamFitness.  Below is a bio for every member of the group.

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Name – Felly

Age – 23

Height – 5 foot 7 inches/173cm

Weight: starting weight 95kgs/211lbs/15 stone, 1lb

Goal weight: 68kgs/150lbs/10 stone, 10lbs

Current weight: – restarting my journey so if you ask me this information at the end of the month, I’ll have something more accurate.

My exercise regime is 85% cardio and 15% strength training. I run a 5K on the treadmill in approx 35 minutes, row for 10 minutes and do the cross trainer/elliptical for 20-30 minutes depending on how tired I am. I just started attending a spin class that’s 45 minutes long but trying only for x3 times in a week!

My strength routine is fairly new but is very light lifting and weighted squats. I’m hoping to improve this once I’ve lost 5kgs as I’ll be lighter and my endurance better. I’m aiming to train for 4-5 times in a week with rest days on Saturday and Tuesday. I’ll walk 5 miles/8km around my neighbourhood on days I do not attend the gym..

My diet is going to be strictly vegan for one week then clean after that. I intend to treat myself x1 per month and on that day, anything and everything in my path will be eaten lol! I’m going cold turkey on all soda and fizzy and all I’ll be drinking is water, tea, 100% fruit juice and squash. My goal is to lose 5kgs/14lbs/1 stone every month.

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Name – Zvie

Age – 29

Height – 162cm

Current Weight – 80kgs

Goal Weight – 75kgs

My workout regime is mostly composed of jogging.  I jog mornings and evenings. I jog for 20 minutes in the mornings where I run 2.5km in 20 minutes.  I recently added running up and down a hill for close to 10 minutes so that totals my time to 30 minutes once im done with the jog.  In the evenings I run 5km for about 40 minutes.

On days I do not jog I do 1 hour of Aerobics, or 30 minutes of Zumba or 45 minutes of Yoga.

I have a cheat day where I eat foods I will be craving but in moderation, then I have rest day(originally meant to be a day I chill out on the exercising front), but ends up as a day which I hardly ever utilise because most times I will be catching up on laundry and house chores. Whoever said you only rest when you are dead knew what they were talking about!

My eating habits are currently working out just fine, I now think before I eat because jogging is a constant reminder of how hard it is to burn the food I eat.  I drink water effortlessly, I go through 3 litres on a good day.  Every other week I am challenging myself to do something different, like try an all fruit day, or cut out carbs in the evenings, eat more fruits and vegetables and so far it is going great. My goal weight is to be 75kgs come April 2015, it is my birthday month so I plan to celebrate it in style.

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Name – Tendy

Age – 30

Weight  – 79kgs

Height – 165cm

Goal weight -70 kgs by January 22, 2015

Diet: Daniels fast Mon – Friday

Morning Jog 1.5kms – gym for an hour in the evening. Drinking a litre per day of water.

Jog 10km on Sundays and exercise for two hours in the gym.

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Name – Yami

Age – 27

Height – Not sure! 162cm maybe?

Weight – 57kgs

Goal weight –  Maintain current. I’m all about trying to tone up and

define muscles (lower body)

Exercise regime. My ideal exercise plan includes running, yoga, indoor cardio, dance and kickboxing. Lately I’ve been slacking but I’m incorporating yoga into everyday and kickboxing three times a week. I like anything I can do to music. I am still psyching myself to getting back into running.

My goal is to keep healthy. A common misconception about people who aren’t overweight is that we don’t have to exercise. I do it to keep my heart strong, legs fit and stomach flat. My stomach has never been a problem but I want to keep it that way.

My diet is low in carbs, high in protein. I love vegetables to – I could literally eat salad every day. I don’t like water but I drink a lot of juice and when I have to drink water, I try to flavour it. Typical breakfast is either cornflakes with fruit or an omelette. Lunch and supper vary but there’s always a vegetable in there, whether it’s on rye bread, in salad or with some form of meat. I snack on fruit, popcorn, yoghurt. I like cheese too.

I am lucky that I don’t gain weight too easily so I cheat a lot with candy but I limit myself pretty well. Two or three candy bars a month and a packet of fruit chews. Sparkling flavoured water is a weakness.

When I’m not exercising, I’m a life coach and soft skills training facilitator. I work with a youth group called Soul’d Out too. Love to read, sing, cook, laugh… And my personal motto is “More Heart”, we all need to put more energy and passion into life. That means greater commitment, focus, excellence and more love.

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Name – Kay

Age – 25

Height – 158cm

Current Weight – 86kgs

Goal Weight – 70kgs

Jogging and gym  – Currently 1.5kms each morning, adding it to make 3kms, then gym for 1.30 mins, squats, treadmill 3 kms, sit ups, weights.

Sunday to Friday routine- Sabbath I rest. Totally! Sunday I try and jog twice as much, 5kms that is, esp when the weather is tempting

I need to be really honest with myself in terms of what I eat, I start the day so well. Cereal, fruit, a sandwich for lunch but supper I get home and i have a heavy meal, I do portion control though but, I snack on biscuits at times, I have no discipline at all.

I need to increase thee exercise routine and stay on course with my diet, I also need to drink more water. Frequenting the loo goes against my very being. I have no problem drinking it, It is the downside I do not like.

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Name – Pacey Pee

Age – 26

Height – 157cm

Current weight – 66kg

Target weight 62 kg

I jog in the mornings (I mean I try to) and I go for aerobics class every Sunday morning. I make sure all my workouts are for 30+ minutes so that my belly fat can be tormented. YES #belly!!!! that’s my major concern. I hate vegetables, I don’t understand fruits. Water is tasteless. LOL I like to complain about these things even though I know they bring out a nice bikini body! So time to toughen up and get flab burning!

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Name : Miss Kay

Age: 26

Weight : 62kgs

Height : 162cm

Target Weight : 55kg

Its more of a getting toned than weight loss plan so don’t read into the target weight thing too much.

Fitness Goals : To run the 2015 Vic Falls Marathon

Routine : cardio, fartlek, gym, p90x

I wake up at 5:15 every morning for my run because I can’t stand this heat and that’s just the best way to start off a great day. I do a 20min jog at a fast pace approx just over 4km. Fully recovery then I do some fartleks which are just walk, jog, sprint intervals (example –>walk 50m, jog 100m, sprint 100m  Do this 6-10 times).

On other days I will just do gym and some p90x. I attribute my almost perfectly flat belly to my p90x DVD collection

My Playlist :  Anything by Rihanna. funk rock/ house/ dancehall music — the less lyrics the better, i just want a bouncy beat and rhythm

Weakness  : Chocolates, pizza, icecream  These weaknesses for me need Jesus himself because I don’t know what kind of will power is required here

About me : When I’m not exercising I’m farming (tobacco, pigs, mushrooms) and during the school first term season I coach athletics

The Power of Social Media

It’s a beautiful feeling to know that I have a positive impact on people that I have never even met.  The other day I received a message which actually brought me to tears and I felt I had to share it with you.  It reads:

Having been a terrace member(members who don’t participate in the group) of several fitness groups with so much enthusiasm and at the start of it, a week or two after joining, I feel tired, drained and overwhelmed by the number of messages blowing up my phone. I mute the group because I cannot deal with the endless notifications, I’m high key irritated.

Months down the line, I have removed myself from the group having benefited nothing from it.

Having gone through so many fitness groups I became skeptical to join yet another fitness group and so it took a while for me to make a decision.

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It was during my decision making when it dawned on me that, I had been joining groups for the wrong reasons. Yes groups are there to push and motivate you but I lacked that within myself. I had not even an ounce of self drive or motivation to actually get myself out of bed and work out. I was looking for it in other people from those different groups. I ALWAYS had one excuse after the other. I didn’t really eat enough nor did I care about what I ate, as long as I stomached a meal at the end of the day. I ate one meal a day(throughout 2016) which was dinner simply because I had told myself that I did not have enough time to eat both breakfast and lunch.

Now how the hell did I expect to workout with such a diet? After months of body shaming myself and feeling out of control, I messaged Fitness Bae on Twitter in October 2016 out of desperation. I wrote down what she had said and turned into 2017 fitness goals. I realized that there was a lot of changes that had to be done. The first step was to apologize to my body for that is where the healing begins.

A few days into the new year, I got in touch with FitnessBae again, this time asking her to add me to the WhatsApp Fitness group. I was nervous because I had seen how obsessed she was with fitness while I was beyond unfit.

And so I joined the group “#RunWithFitnessBae”. Let me start by saying what a warm and welcoming group it is. Of the many groups I had been in, none of them where as warm and friendly(You would just join and only 2 or three members would welcome you). That for me was already a plus.

The group has an exciting twist to it and is not limited to fitness. What brought me to write this is how I have significantly benefited from the group in more ways than I imagined. Although most of the benefits are small they will go a long way.

I joined during the skipping challenge and my first skipping session was horrible, I could barely make it to 5 jumps. If I tell you now that I listen to the rope so much that I can skip on one foot from time to time you wouldn’t believe me. A week after joining I fell ill and was bed ridden for a whole week and a half. It felt bad and I was angry and moody. I was just there in the terraces doing nothing. My comeback was with the Old Mutual Run where I signed up for 5km bear in mind my longest distance was 1.5km

Then came the DT challenge, which ranged between 4km and 10km. I was nervous and told myself I would terrace on this one. But there’s something about the group that pushes you out of the terraces. People will post their workouts including their pace,elevation and total time (something I never cared about, but now, I look at all of those details) I found myself dressing up and going for the challenge each day. My body was in pain! I had never pushed myself so much in one week.

Im grateful for being part of the team. Even though my pace (which ranges between 08 and 09) and skips per minute are far behind, I’m at a happy place. When the team posts their workouts and I don’t post the level of guilt makes it hard to swallow sadza that night. And it’s because of this group that I found out that when I don’t workout I feel very cranky and moody. Once I get to workout, my mood changes. Not only do I workout, I eat healthy meals and portions too.

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I am still working on a few other things to catch up with the likes of Fitness Guru, Amy and DT😂 I have a long way to go but my motivation has significantly improved. I hope and pray that none of it is taken away from me by laziness, procrastination and all sorts of other distractions. It has taken so many falls,tears for me to get here, maintain and actually be happy. This is who and where I want to be for as long as I can.

Thank you again to the Team and these two quotes are what have been keeping me going;

  1. “Don’t listen to the pains, keep going”
  2. “Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug and exercise is the most potent yet underutilized anti-depressant. Choose wisely”

You can find Leenah on Twitter she is such a happy soul and she has no idea how her message brought warmth to my heart.  Nothing brings me joy as much as knowing that my fitness craze has had people get up and do something about their health and wellness.  I live, breathe and sleep fitness and stories like this make me want to outdo myself each and everyday.  I am one person you can send a message to where fitness related issues are concerned and I will get right back at you because this is the stuff that fires my soul!

Thank you for the beautiful message Leenah and may you continue on your fitness journey with a positive attitude.

MaKupsy 2017©

 

Fitness In The Park!

Let’s be honest, gym membership is expensive.  With subscriptions ranging from $50 to $150 per month it’s no wonder most people don’t hit the gym. I mean, how many of us can afford those prices, definitely not me!  If you have been following my health and fitness journey on social media you will already know that I managed to lose 10kgs in a year through eating right and without attending a single gym session.  This is what this meet up in the park is going to be all about, helping you achieve your fitness goals without breaking a budget.

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The event is open to everyone and I am encouraging you to come through no matter your fitness levels.  Remember we are always learning new things everyday and this will be a platform to share experiences and map a way forward for your fitness journey.

For more information on the event you can call or WhatsApp the numbers on the flyer.  You can also check out my Fitness Blog for different articles on health and fitness over here.  Alternatively you can Like my Facebook page to join a team that is seriously enthusiastic about fitness.

This the first of many events to come and I hope to see you there!

MaKupsy© 2017

Zumba Mash Up Aftermath

I bet you were never ready for two bloggers writing at once!  This is all about last Saturday and I get to share our experience with my fellow blogger/friend/lover of things Chenge.

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First of all it is a great thing for you to be selfish and take some time to do what you love. I recently joined the corporate world and underestimated how demanding it can get; especially when you actually enjoy your job. I have found myself getting so consumed to a point where I start neglecting myself.  Funny thing is Saturday morning I had excuses ready…“I’ve had a long week, I’m tired” but I didn’t stop to think that I never do anything for myself. So I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the Village. That was one of the best decisions I made that morning because I got to be a part of a Zumba class for the first time in my life!  I was even happier to be with my good friend MaKupsy. Thank to blogging, Twitter and our love of the finer things we have an amazing relationship.

 

MaKupsy

I was up by 6am and I could not contain keep calm!!  Saturday was here and it was finally time for the Zumba Mash Up event.  I saw it on Facebook a few weeks ago and I promised myself that I would attend the event come rain or shine.  By exactly 9:10am we arrived by Sam Levy’s and there was already a crowd doing Zumba routines.  I was in heaven!  You have no idea how much I love to exercise, I live, breathe and think exercise and what made it all the more exciting was that it was one of my favourite workout routines.  I was surprised when Chenge sent a message telling me that she was on her way, the night before she had said she wouldn’t make it.  I had to keep my phone in hand because I was waiting for Chenge to show up.  She arrived a little later but it was still in time for a lot of fun and selfies, we never get tired of selfies.

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Chenge

I got a few take-aways from the day and they are as follows :

Crave the Lifestyle

We actually got a free day pass to Pro-Fitness Gym. Yet another first for me, I had never been in a gym in my life. For the why? I consider myself fit, broke and quite frankly, I do not have the time & luxury to be in a gym, but I realized that we disqualify ourselves from certain things because of a “This isn’t for me” kinda mentality.  However, it dawned on me that, if not for me then who? If not now, then when? We all deserve nice things in life but we have to go out there and get them! Life is for the taking. Funny enough their weekly fee and ‘walk in’ fee are quite affordable if you really think about it.  Their prices reminded me that, there really isn’t anything stopping me from living my best life, I hope nothing is stopping you.

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MaKupsy

I wanted to try every single machine in the gym!  My heart was willing but my body was saying otherwise.  We had done a whole one hour of Zumba so burning 450 calories in one go was a sure way to take my energy away.  We still tried out a few machines all the same.  First stop was the treadmill for some warm up.  I was on the treadmill for about 15 minutes.  We didn’t have anyone directing us on how to use the machines so it was a whole guessing game.  Next stop was the bike which was painful my legs were not ready for that experience.  Then the gruesome part came, THE STAIRS!  I don’t know what that machine is called but we did 30 minutes of it and I don’t plan on doing it again, we were on it for about 15 minutes but we looked like someone poured buckets of water on us.  It was intense!  This was my second gym experience this year and I gave them all the marks.  The place is beautiful, the reception area is done up very professionally BUT they don’t have a swimming pool and we all know how much I love to swim!

Chenge

Life is Exciting 

The highlight of my day was definitely the sauna experience in the gym. First of all, I only know sauna’s from movies. I had never in a million years ever envisioned myself sitting on a towel, in a sauna, sweating my life out lol! Thanks to MaKupsy for just being that friend. If I was by myself I probably would have just taken a shower after my workout and been on my way home. See this is the kind of peer pressure I need in my life, pressure to live that upper life. 2017 is your babe, run with it!

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MaKupsy

After nearly an hour of experimenting with different machines we did some stretching to cool down.  I didn’t want Chenge to wake up with sore muscles.  We then hit the sauna and steamer.  Chenge didn’t want to come through but I insisted she try it out and told her she would love every minute of it and she did.  Fitness Hunk was tired of waiting for us but oh well; you know what happens when two women are left to their own devices.  We got time to catch up and make plans for productive things we can do together in the near future.  Chenge is a choreographer among other things and I am all about fitness so you can only imagine the pandemonium we are going to bring to Harare, are you guys ready for it??  I love spending time with her though we always part ways having learnt new things from each other.  I love that we don’t have time for gossip, it’s all about how we can make our Creative talents grow.

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Chenge

Spend Time With People That Lift Your Spirit 

Alone time is important but sometimes we don’t have the luxury of choosing the people we would actually want to spend time thanks to adulating…work, school, projects, hobbies and everything else in-between. Your life can get so overwhelming and you shouldn’t have to go through such moments alone. I am passing my friend all the sando’s right now because she deserves them. She really brings a certain level of fun, chill and calm to my life, Mercy you are an amazing friend. Plus I made a new friend *smiles* his name is Fitness Hunk, and yes he is fit, yes he is a hunk LOL.  I’m not usually open to meeting new people because it is a lot of work, but I enjoyed this experience because Fitness Hunk is a reflection of MaKupsy, open to new ideas, fit, funny and great company. (plus he buys lunch)

Fun fact about MaKupsy & I, we share the same birthday and we went to the same High School, what are the odds??!!

If I can wrap up my January in a day, it would definitely be the 28th; it’s not how we start, rather how we finish, right?

MaKupsy

Do I feel bad for diving into a whole burger, chips and a salad after spending the whole morning working out?? Heck no!  I burnt over 1 000 calories and I was shaking from hunger.  Is that the ideal thing to do for a person who is supposed to be health conscious?  Of course not!! You only live once people PLUS the event came with a 50% discount from three eat out places there was no way I was going to let this miss me.  Chenge and Fitness Hunk had a hard time deciding what to have for lunch but I quickly made up my mind.  We got our food soon and munched away and told ourselves this was something we should start doing more often.  Hook up at least once a month, spend at the gym, grab a healthy bite this time around, watch a movie and the day is gone and we have all had some good old clean fun.  Watch this space next month.

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I remember the first time we followed each other on Twitter, I was like we share the same birthday oh my word oh my word!  Then when I rejoined Facebook I realised that we went to the same High School, like how cool is that.  The best part is that we are both bloggers and I initially got to know about her through her blog; I remember reading through some of her articles thinking to myself, she’s cool, I’m cool, we should definitely be cool together.

 

We all had a beautiful day and even though we were too full to actually then proceed to go and watch a movie we decided we would meet up again soon before the tickets expired.  We love things yes but we don’t love things that much!

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“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”– Howard Washington Thurman

MaKupsy© 2017

#UrsulaChallenge

I have to be honest with you, when I initially started working out I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would inspire so many people around me.  It has been and continues to be an interesting fitness journey.  I created a WhatsApp group with amazing individuals and everyday we push each other do to better than we did the day before.  Within the group there are Fitness Instructors, Physiotherapists, Lawyers, IT Personnel, Secretaries, University Students, Bloggers…tell you what, the list is endless and the group is diverse.

The great thing about it is thanks to technology we don’t have to be all in one place to run, just a running application on your mobile device and you are good to go.  There are runners from the UK, Algeria, Malawi, Namibia, South Africa,Zambia, Zimbabwe.  Minus running we get to learn different languages, cultures and foods.  Okay, I will have to expand on this on a different day, for now let  me talk about the #UrsulaChallenge

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Flyer by @KingKGC (Twitter)

The last challenge we had, Taku won hands down.  We have a rule that whoever wins the challenge is the one who will choose what the next challenge will entail.  I decided to have a little twist to it because I realised that to keep the motivation alive runners who are improving need to get some form of recognition as well and so Ursula was the lucky runner to get chosen. She has been running with the team since October and she has outdid herself, even running after a long day when all she wanted to do was sleep.

There are a few additions to her challenge which are:

  • Participants are to weigh in on Monday morning or Sunday evening and have their weight recorded.

You are encouraged to weigh in at the same time you weighed yourself at the beginning of the challenge and to use the same scale.

The one who loses the most weight during this weeks challenge gets 15 bonus points.

P.S The weight loss is for those who have it as their goal to lose weight, if not please do not worry yourself with the weigh in.

  • There will be a cook off on the Rest Day of the challenge.  The participant who sends through a plate that has healthy  food options, is well presented and appealing to the eye will get 5 bonus points.

I hope you will take part in this challenge, trust me, if you are a fitness enthusiast you will completely enjoy it and probably come back for more.  All the best in the upcoming challenge team, and may the best runner win!

#UrsulaChallenge #RunWithFitnessBae

P.S We always use Nike+(read as being resistant to change) for the challenges but this time the rules are more flexible and participants can use Strava, Cardio Trainer, Adidas and NRC.

Share. Like. Join.

©MaKupsy 2016

Diary Of A Woman Who Learnt To Love Herself More

I created a WhatsApp group that I named #RunWithFitnessBae In this group we talk about different issues that are health and fitness related.  The other day we spoke about body shaming and one of the participants in the group shared her story which I feel a lot of people will relate to.  Have a read and share with anyone you think might benefit from this inspirational story.

Not so many years ago I weighed a whopping 120kgs and I wore size 44-46.  To be honest I was comfortable with my weight. My closest relatives actually commented at how “healthy” and “well kept” I was and I actually thought being that fat was a sign to the world I was fine and dandy.  I would eat any and everything and I would sit on the couch and eat a whole chocolate slab, packet of crisps and gulp down and entire bottle of red wine while I watched TV or read a book.  Exercise was something I would watch on TV and something I never got actively involved in.  I knew the benefits of exercise but remember me being fat was a sign of “wealth” so I was ok right? WRONG!

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Real women have nothing to do with size. Real women have RESPECT for one another. -Abbyclaire Herman

I got a rude awakening from my unhealthy eating ways when I found out that the man of my dreams had gone on to marry someone else on the exact same day he was meant to pay lobola for me.  I found out he had been dating my “skinny” friend and it had been happening for a while and I had never suspected it, the betrayal and the heartache were beyond comprehension!!  This whole time I was being a couch potato the man of my dreams was making other plans that didn’t involve me, life changing plans for that matter!  I decided to seek advice from the people who knew us and the people who were close to us and I was shocked and disgusted by the responses I got. Let me tell you the five top responses that made me hate my body and feel disgusted by who I was and who I had become;

  1. Aigodii nekufuta kwawakaita?” (What was he supposed to do with the way you are so fat?)
  2. “Honey, the way you are looking like a 40 year old and yet you are only 25years old is unbecoming”
  3. “I am so sorry but what did you expect look at your friend she is skinny, beautiful and fit and she is light skinned.”
  4. “I am so sorry about what you are going through but I think you are to blame I mean you are fatter than his own mother, he went to what was attractive.”
  5. “You need to lose weight. If you were skinny like his now wife I am sure he wouldn’t have strayed but her body compared to yours there was no chance you would keep him, hauna kana shape.  (You are shapeless)
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at 120kgs

Those were the harshest and most cruel things anyone had ever told me and what made it worse was the realization that in their heart of hearts all these people had thought this but never said anything about it.  I probably would have taken offence if they had but real friends would have said something about my sky rocketing weight.  Those words coupled with heartbreak drove to a state of self-disgust and I hated my body and food.  I blamed those two things for letting me not see that my man was losing interest in me and making plans to be with someone else.

I wished I could exchange bodies it seemed all the women I saw were slimmer and prettier.  Suicidal thoughtsyes I got them because to me there was nothing worse that the world seeing you as fat and ugly.  Couple that with everyone knowing that the man thought was for keeps had left you for a “slimmer” and “prettier” woman.  Thankfully, I couldn’t get myself to follow through my suicidal thoughts because I had two little angels who looked up to me and I couldn’t imagine leaving them.  Instead I decided to diet and lose weight but when I started my weight loss journey my reason was to win my man back, I wanted to be pretty for him and I thought he would love me again if I was “slim and pretty like her” and we would get back together and get married and our fairy tale life would continue as we had both imagined it.

And so my weight-loss journey began.  I gave myself a couple of weight loss rules that I was certain would work.

  • Eat as little I you can
  • Exercise for 8 hours a day
  • I have to match “her” weight or maybe lose a few more kilograms then I will be “pretty”
  • I will have to do all this within 90 days

I would eat practically nothing the whole day.  On an average day I would have 2 slices of brown bread and a lot of water the WHOLE DAY.  I would go to the gym from 5am to 9am and again from 5pm to 9pm and I would push myself harder and further each day till I go to a point where all I would eat in a day would be chewing gum when I felt hungry and water.

The weight dropped.  Within 3 months I had lost close to 70 kilograms but unfortunately I had also developed ulcers, acid re-flux and insomnia to name but a few.  My skin changed colour and even my hair grew thin and just when I thought people would compliment me they started saying I was sick and maybe I had HIV.  I clearly was not doing something right because even after all these efforts my man has still not come back to me.  I decided to lose more weight pushed myself to lose more. I think I had gotten to point of being anorexic because eating any food was no longer a part of my life.

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at 50kgs

An angle of mercy came to my rescue.  She had seen my transformation and had heard me break down in my room so many times so she sat me down and offered a few pointers.  I remember her advice like she told it to me just yesterday.

No matter how much weight I lost I would never feel beautiful unless I was beautiful to myself first.  Beauty comes from within and with me and then radiates on the outside for everyone to see.  Beauty did not have to be physical alone but both inside and out.

This got me thinking…

Yes I loved my ex boyfriend but for the right love to find me I had to love me first before anyone else could love me.  I had to be my first love and just because we did not work out it does not mean there isn’t a prince waiting for me out there.

 Weight loss and health work hand in hand. I had to take care of my body for it to take care of me. I had to lose weight in a healthy manner so as to avoid skin and stomach issues that I had developed as well as to curb the insomnia (the insomnia had got so bad I couldn’t concentrate at work and I got fired).

Being healthy and being mentally stable work hand in hand, if I am mentally stable I am able to deal with issues that come my way better.

My world and my actions should not be swayed or centered around what people will say about me or about my circumstances but it should be centered about what I feel is right and what I know I should do.

I had to find a way of dealing with my pains, ups and down besides turning to food or to the gym and I chose to keep a journal. That way I could separate issues and still eat healthy and love myself.

After the talk it took me a while to start eating again and to go to the gym.  I now work exercise for a maximum of 2 hours a day and I feed myself with positive affirmations each day.  I got over my ex boyfriend and I moved on. I became my first love and I taught myself to be able to separate issues and deal with them in a healthy and progressive manner. Today I weigh 89kgs (I am definitely not going back to tripledigits on the scale) I am exercising, I have a new job and I LOVE MY BODY SOOOO MUCH. I want to lose weight for me because I want to be healthy and I am doing it in a healthy way this time around.

My new rules of losing weight now are;

  1. Eat a maximum of 5 small meals a day
  2. Watch my portions
  3. Incorporate more vegetables in my meals and less carbs
  4. WATER, WATER and MORE WATER
  5. Run, skip and go to the gym
  6. Prayer and meditation for my soul
  7. Join group of other people that are in the same weightless journey as me for motivation(#RunWithFitnessBae)
  8. When I am not okay I write it down in my journal
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at 89kgs

 

You gain weight gradually and you will certainly lose it gradually.  Weight loss is a journey and not an event.  It takes hard work, determination and perseverance!

 

©MaKupsy 2016

 

 

Sanganai Creek, Mazvikadei

Today is such a beautiful day, I woke up feeling happy and rested.  I really needed some time out because I was having a serious case of burnt out.  It’s important to recharge the body that works!

I recently got back on Facebook after years of deciding it really wasn’t my cup of tea.  However, a programme I was studying encouraged me to open an account and I am back at it again.  I can safely say that this was a great idea because so far I have seen events and activities that speak to me.  Thanks to Facebook I got to find out about a weekend trip that was being organised by Piaxao Travel & Tours and I just saw the word Adventure and got excited before I finished reading the event page.

Anywho, I had always wanted to go to Sanganai Creek but because I am not mobile (yet) I always thought it would not happen anytime soon. Thankfully these guys were organising the transport, accommodation, activities and food all one had to do was pay USD60 for the weekend do.  We were supposed to meet up at 9am on the Saturday but the organisers did not have everything ready so we waited a good solid hour in the sun while they went to get the trailer for the bus.  I was already annoyed, is this not something one does the night before a trip?  Eventually we left at 10am and started on the journey that is 120 km out of Harare.

The first thing we did when we got there was take selfies, naturally.

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Then we proceeded to our designated rooms.  You don’t even want to know the state of affairs that was in those rooms.  I didn’t even take photos, I was that disappointed!  To be honest, before we go any further let me tell you the things that really pissed me off about this trip before I get to the fun bits.

  • Communication skills were non existent. For example, once we got onto the bus we didn’t get any introductions.  Nothing on our intended destination, how long it was going to take to get there, if we were going to make any stops.  Just get on the bus and go type of thing.
  • People were misinformed.  In the WhatsApp group chat people were told to bring linen and guess what, they did exactly that.  When we got to our rooms the bunk beds had no linen or blankets.  IMAGINE!  I feel cold at night no matter what the season so I had both linen and an extra blanket with me but imagine the rest of the guys who just brought linen, I am completely out of words…
  • The food was terrible.  I am very particular about the things I put into my stomach especially given the fact that I know I can cook up a storm myself.  I actually didn’t eat the greater part of the trip because I got sick.  I am not sure if it’s the water or the food either way I felt short changed.
  • Once I was added to the WhatsApp group the first thing I asked was if the swimming pool was blue.  I was assured that it was and to my surprise the pool was GREEN! I remember someone telling me they saw a dead fish in the pool after our swimming session. OMG!

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That said, let’s get to the fun part.  Nothing is ever completely a train smash, I must admit that this trip was the break I needed after weeks of feeling like I just wanted to take the next flight and leave adulting for a while.  The group was amazing!  There were couples, singles, married and kids too.  We had different activities that encouraged team building and before you know it we all felt like one big happy family.

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My favourite activities were the ones were mud was involved.  I enjoyed watching it but not exactly taking part in it.  I made sure I was in hiding when it was my turn.  There was mud wrestling and crocodile crawl.  The amount of dirt that we had by the time that activity was done!  It was worth every minute though.

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The guy in the yellow tshirt above, also known as The Fat One, you do not want to mess with him!  The aim of that game is to wrestle your opponent and have them topple over.  Once one person is down you move ahead until the whole team is off the log.  They put mud on the log so not only is it slippery it’s hard to balance, wrestle and keep your feet locked!  However, The Fat One had everything under contol and their team won.  It was a fun sight to watch!

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I didn’t take part in this activity, I was too scared and kept thinking of the embarrassment if I fell.  I was hiding behind a tree the entire time!

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We went for a breakfast cruise on the Sunday morning.   I loved this part; it was refreshing.  Minus taking lots of selfies and videos when I finally got to settle down I took in the views and clean air.  We spotted a few houses by the lakeside.  Now that is something on my Things To Buy in this lifetime.  Imagine waking up to a beautiful view and the sound of waves every morning.  Too beautiful!

20160904_094908.jpgAfter the cruise we went horse riding, once again I didn’t take part.  I have done horse riding before and the experience was not something I wanted to relive.

It was time to pack up and go but before leaving we passed through Mazvikadei Dam.

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By this time everyone was exhausted and the heat wasn’t playing nice at all.

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There is a story behind the sculpture behind us.  Apparently the woman was taken/ abducted/stolen (I honestly don’t know which word is befitting)  by a mermaid and after days was released.  When she came back she was a traditional healer.  Her gift spread far and wide and people from all walks of life started to come to her village for consultation on different life issues.  History has it that when people arrived they were asked “Masvikasei?”  (How did you get here).  However, white people did not know how to say Masvikasei but pronounced it as Mazvikadei.  Interesting…

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Part of the group

It was a great trip and we had tonnes of fun. I am sure if the event organisers sort out some of the issues I pointed out the next group won’t feel let down.  I can safely say this trip turned out to be a success because we all decided that we were going to make the most of the situation and make the weekend count.  I can’t wait for my next road trip!! (we are going to organise this one ourselves)

 

©MaKupsy 2016

Missed Call Alert!

I can tell you that I have had moments I have questioned what was going through the other person’s mind when they were busy leaving 10 missed calls on my phone.  When I try to contact someone and they don’t pick up the phone twice, that’s the end of that I won’t try doing so again because they clearly are tied up and when they are free they will get back to me.  So I am left puzzled when I see my phone with so many missed calls from the same person within a short space of time.

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Image from Google

If I didn’t answer the phone the first 3 calls there must be a reason why I am not picking up your calls.  Reasons such as…

  1. My phone is on  silent and I didn’t hear it ring.
  2. I am probably taking a bath.
  3. My phone is on the charger in the next room.
  4. I am tied up at work.
  5. I am in church.
  6. I am exercising.
  7. I have a visitor.
  8. I am doing some housework.
  9. I am probably asleep.
  10. I do not want to talk to you.
  11. I am upset with you.
  12. I will call you back once I am done doing whatever (or whoever) I am doing.
  13. I am working on my next blog and need maximum concentration.
  14. I am not in the mood to talk to anyone, it’s really not that deep.
  15. I want to be left alone.

So you see, people have one too many reasons for not picking up your calls.  My advice is try at least twice, and wait a while before making the second call.  If all else fails then you can get a hint right?

P.S. This also goes to messages on WhatsApp that go unanswered.

What have been your reasons for not picking up someone’s call?  Do you always want to be taking calls or sometimes you just need that “alone time” the same way I do?

© MaKupsy 2016