Day 25: What Feminism Means To Me

Day 25 of #30DayAfriBlogger Challene topic is Feminism or Humanism or Womanism.  Where do you stand and why?  I have a Guest Blogger who shared her thoughts on Feminism with me, enjoy the read.

“I am compelled to remain on this feminist path by the many women that…feel comfortable in living differently” –​ ​Florence​ ​Butegwa

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Vimbai Midzi

 Women deserve to be treated equally, to be given a fair chance to succeed, and a safe environment to live their lives in. – Vimbai Midzi

It was a quiet realisation in a room full of women who had been through the abuse I had experienced. I hadn’t spoken at all that day, and my heart was heavier than I can articulate. There were hundreds of candles for the vigil, and hundreds of women sat in the hall – some shocked at the stories that were told, some crying, some humming quietly. My friend, who had been the closest person to me since school started, held my hand as we swayed back an forth. Without warning, surprising myself even, I stood up and began to tell my story too. I spoke with the smallest voice I’ve ever heard come out of me about a violence I wish I could forget. I stopped, one minute in, fighting tears. I looked up for reassurance of some kind, and when I looked back at my friend, she had a sign up that simply said, “You matter.” That tiny act of kindness which probably only I noticed, was the beginning of my journey with feminism and defining what it’s meant to me.

Feminism, broadly speaking, is the belief that all women and men are fundamentally equal, and that the differences in the way women and men are treated comes down to patriarchy.

Patriarchy is basically a system that privileges men over women in society – whether with regards to workplace opportunities, access to education, inheritance laws, political leadership positions or romantic relationships. Patriarchy is the thinking that says that women are intrinsically inferior to men, which trickles down into various sectors of society. For example, patriarchy is the reason in many developing countries, if a family cannot afford to send all their children to school, they’d rather send the boys and not the girls. Sometimes it’s subtle. It’s in the way girls are raised to aspire to marriage and are ‘trained’ to take care of a family’s needs, while boys often lack basic domestic skills because they aren’t expected to take part in domestic labour. Patriarchy is the reason why, for years I stayed silent about my sexual abuse, and was willing to go to the grave with it, for fear of being ridiculed or blamed. Patriarchy says that women’s lives, ideas, dreams, bodies don’t matter as much as men’s, and feminism exists to counter that.

You matter.

African feminism stems from African women’s actions and thoughts around equality within the context of African societies. It’s important to stress that my African identity is integral to my fight against patriarchy across the continent. It is particularly important, on a continent where women are systematically excluded from economic, political and social spaces, that my feminist work does everything in its power to tear apart the patriarchy that holds women back and under the feet of men. African women, post colonialism, had to deal with fighting racial oppression from white regimes, and further oppression from their own black male family members, colleagues and leaders.

Feminism is both collective and individual in its practices. Many of the changes in laws protecting women’s inheritance rights, fighting violence against women, ensuring equal opportunities in professional and educational spaces, have come as a result of the collective action of groups of feminists across the continent.  Being a feminist also means that feminists over the years have fought for me to have autonomy and personal choice –an integral part of feminism.  It also means that I’ve come to have a personal understanding of the different ways patriarchy affects me and the ways in which I fight it in my daily life.

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Vimbai Midzi

Personally, there are two things that come to mind when I think of what feminism means to me.

1. YOU MATTER

The jokes about self love aside, loving myself and acknowledging my intrinsic worth has been the foundation of my feminist journey.  Women deserve to be treated equally, to be given a fair chance to succeed, and a safe environment to live their lives in. Feminist policies like advocating for free sanitary pads so girls don’t have to miss school because of their periods, is telling girls that they matter. Their ability to attend class and society’s effort at leveling the playing field for their start in life, matters. My pain, my joy, my failure, my success, my ideas, my dreams – they all matter, and they should be taken seriously.  Feminism makes it necessary for this to be actively made a truth in women’s lives. Every demand for harsher punishments for rapists and kinder environments for rape survivors to tell their stories and get justice, every push for states to address femicide and emphasise women’s autonomy over our bodies, is feminism telling us that we matter.

2. PATRIARCHY MUST FALL

It’s important to note that patriarchy is enacted mostly by and for the benefit of men, but that women can perpetuate it too, and that men can suffer from it. Feminists fight against patriarchy as a system that harms both men and women, albeit harming women more.  Patriarchy sets impossible and toxic standards for men and how masculinity should be performed. This often means that masculinity is associated with violence, strength (the kind of strength that can never show signs of perceived weakness) and unchecked power. Men are therefore socialised to believe that they cannot be emotionally vulnerable.   for example. This would explain the rise in male suicides as a result of men being unable to seek help for mental health issues like depression. Patriarchy also socialises women to make decisions or say things that are harmful to other women, and that ultimately benefit men. When a woman judge in Uganda suspended a female court clerk for wearing a mini-skirt there were a lot of comments. In this instance, women’s dressing and bodies continue to be policed by a system that takes away women’s bodily autonomy.  That the decision was made by a woman, shows the pervasiveness of patriarchy and that; as a whole system, it needs to fall, for the sake of women mostly but also for the sake of men.

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Image from Pinterest

Feminism for me means learning and unlearning everyday.  It means standing up for myself in an environment that seeks to shrink me.  It means standing with women at all times, ensuring that our rights are protected, our voices are listened to and the war on our bodies is being stopped.  It means being unapologetically me and living myself past the pain of years of ingrained patriarchal practices and language. It means reclaiming the identity that men for centuries have given to women, and forming one for myself. Most importantly, feminism for me, is the quiet realisation that I matter.

You can find Vimbai on Twitter; @Just_Midzi she loves, supports and fights for or with black African women.  She also has a new project under way and you should watch this space for it.  A big thank you to Vimbai for sharing her thoughts, I for one now have a better understanding of what Feminism is.

©MaKupsy 2017

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Day 22: Who Are You To Police My Black Hair?

I think people are just jealous of the way black hair is so versatile!  Not just any black hair but a black woman’s hair.  What I love about my hair is that I can do any and everything to it everyday.  One day I have twists, the next day I have a mini afro and who knows maybe the next day I will let it out to flourish and be happy.  The thing with black hair is that it has so many layers to it.  It can be both creative and daring and that makes people unhappy, especially people you work with.    It’s a damn shame for them because I won’t stop being myself, I love every inch of my black hair!

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MaKupsy

That’s me in the photo above; making people very unhappy with my uncombed hair.  Shout out to The Quarter Wife for the beautiful picture.  If you are a black woman I’m sure you are familiar with some of these statements.  Some may call them insults depending on how they take them.

  • Do you need a comb for your hair?
  • When are you getting your hair plaited?
  • That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!
  • Why do you have a maids hairdo?
  • Can I touch your hair?
  • Aren’t you wearing a wig on top of those cornrows?

I’ve been asked a few of those questions above about my hair.  People really try my patience I tell you!  I sometimes wonder they ask just to hear what I have to say.  I would get really worked up the first days but lately I just smile or completely ignore their remarks.  My favourite one is “That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!”.  The reason why I like it is because each time I get cornrows done I shed off a whole 5 years from my age, people start thinking Im in my 20s, what’s not to love?  I’m not even insulted, Im excited, all the more chances of getting hit on by a young hot blooded man.(just kidding!)  

What most people don’t understand is that protective styles are actually good for your hair.  My hairline used to suffer in the past but ever since I attended a couple of Natural Hair Events I now know how to take better care of my hair.  When I think back growing up we used to do each other’s hair during school holidays or on weekends and our go to hairstyle was mabuns (African Threading) not a single person had hairline problems then our hair was intact!

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(African Threading) Photo Credit: Shuvai Murumbi (Facebook)

Show me one woman who doesn’t want an intact hairline and I will show you a liar!  This hairstyle just needs your time, $1 to buy wool and voila you’re good to go.  Tell me one person who doesn’t want to save money the way our economy is currently set up?  Some people will call this a maid’s hairstyle I call it a wise woman’s hairstyle.  If there is one thing all women need to do more it’s to be comfortable in their own skin, even if it means rocking mabuns!

If your hair is nappy they are not happy” – Paul Mooney

If there is one thing you need to do for your hair it’s learn everything you can about it.  We all have different hair types and what works for me will not work for you.  I used to be super obsessed about my hair length but I realised that what matters the most is that I have healthy hair more than anything.  Be kind to your hair, don’t be stressing the heck out of it.  I think hair can actually hear things if you ask me so feed it with love, attention and products that will keep it well hydrated and moisturised.

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Photo Credit: Alice Murewa (Facebook)

My colleagues have since stopped asking about my hair.  Now they just watch and get the shock of their lives.  They realised they can’t steal my joy and they have probably embraced that I’m fearless when it comes to my hair.  I don’t conform to society’s expectations.  If I want my hair natural I will wear it as is, I’m not everyone, I am uniquely me.

To all the black girls who are constantly harassed about the state of their hair, next time anyone tries to insult you tell them to focus on their own hair and leave yours the heck alone! 

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Photo Credit: Thembi

You can read about some of the events and my hair experiences from here:

  1. My Hair Game Is Non-Existent
  2. The Power of A Referral
  3. My Hair Grows Towards Heaven
  4. I Love My Natural Hair

What are some of the worst things people have said or done to your hair?  Are you comfortable walking about with your hair in it’s natural state?  Let’s share your hair stories.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Day 6: Women Creative Wednesday – RuTendo DeNise

Today is Day 6 of the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge and the theme is to write about your experience at a event or restaurant.  I wrote this piece last year on the 1st of December and everything in here still applies today.  Read and enjoy, this event changed my life!

I love all things creative and when I got an invite from Lo to attend an event at Moto Republik I was thrilled.  They have a do they have every month they titled #WCW (Women Creative Wednesday) Women Creative Wednesday is an intimate presentation & discussion platform focused on introducing and educating young women on careers in the creative industry as well as connecting them to mentors and peers within the sector.  For the month of November their feature was Rutendo Denise who is a Zimbabwean performance poet, writer, model and social media success story.  

Lo was hosting the discussion and I clearly remember her saying that in Africa, the moment you tell your family that you want to pursue a career in the Creative Industry they go wide eyed and ask questions like “You want to get paid to Tweet?”  So funny!

I normally live Tweet when I attend events but this one was too intimate I had to give it my full attention and I was mind blown by the things that Rutendo shared with us.

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Rutendo touched on so many different issues ranging from drug abuse, suicide, friendship, creativity…it was a mixed bag that left you thinking long and hard about your own life.  I took my “goals” notebook with me and I had nearly 4 pages full of information and trust me years from today I will look back at these nuggets and thank myself for attending this do because information like this rarely ever comes your way.  I will give you some of the information not all that way you guys will attend events next time you hear about them.

Hello

A hello goes a really long way.  People get really “cliquey” when they arrive at events and miss out on opportunities to meet contacts they might need in the future.  When I arrived I remember Rutendo asked us which music albums we were each currently listening to just to break the ice and it got everyone talking.  Later on during the discussion she mentioned that the reason she had asked us about music was because she was nervous and trying to find a way to get us chatting.  She emphasised how a hello can go a very long way because after everyone introduced themselves we had a Blogger, Artist, Chef, App Developer, Journalist, Fitness Consultant, MC & Poet all in one room.  Now imagine if we hadn’t said hello.

Own Your Story

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Above is a screenshot from one of the stories from one of her followers that she shared.  You have to be comfortable with what you have been through.  You will stop yourself from being great because of your past.  You know that feeling of constantly thinking you can’t do certain things because people will then walk up to you and say but we heard you once did a,b,c…  Rutendo has a “#Testimony Time series” on her Instagram where she shares stories of the things that have happened to her that most people are not comfortable talking about.  This has opened doors for other people to also share their stories as well.  We are all going through the most and she has done a great job of getting people to speak up, sometimes that’s all you need, someone who will listen.

Growth

We are all seeds that need to be nurtured. This time next year you will not be the same person.  You will have to put in the work if you want to see results.  Push yourself and strive for excellence.  We have all been given time so make sure you make the most of it doing the best of what you love.  There is no time for mediocrity.

This was an experience that was worth every minute of my time.  You know how you attend something and you keep looking at your watch wondering when you will be put out of your misery?  Not with this one.  This experience was engaging and informative. My passion lies in the creative industry and getting to have time to have one on one dialogue with someone who is in it and doing exceedingly well is something you don’t get to do everyday.  I want to look back a year from today and tick all the nuggets in my “goals” book and send Rutendo a very long email telling her how I smashed all of my goals and I am finally doing the things that fire my soul full time.

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Artist, Blogger, Chef, App Developer, Journalist, Fitness Consultant, MC, Poet, Plus Size Model a mixed bag of creatives all in one room

Without a willing heart, fighting spirit, discernment and the constant pursuit of personal excellence, you won’t achieve or amount to much. .R.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turn The Page – Bobby Valentino

Do they still make men like these??  Men who will run after the woman they love to win her back or because of technology a new girlfriend is just a single message away? The moment you call it quits he disappears into thin air?  It’s like he was just waiting for the chance to break up so that he can move on with his life.

I love this track to bits all the same!

©MaKupsy 2017

The Power Of A Referral

At the beginning of this year we had a road trip to Mazvikadei Resort.  It was a beautiful experience and a great way to start the new year.  I remember seeing my friend’s girlfriend for the first time and falling in love with her and her hair on the spot!  Unfortunately at the time I had just had my hair done and I was still disappointed with the results.  I told her I would get in touch with her the next time I decided to get my hair braided and so here we are!

I got in touch with my friend who then gave me Christine’s contact number.  Christine is her hairdresser.  I called her to set up an appointment and she confirmed she would be free a whole week after speaking to her.  I couldn’t wait, I just wanted to look pretty and waiting is not my strong point.  However, I had no choice and so the wait began.  True to her word at 6:30am she sent a message telling me she was outside my apartment.  Unbelievable!  She had said she would come through at 7:00am but she was early and I was already impressed.

Cut a long story short I got my hair done from 7:00am till 4:00pm.  I actually didn’t feel how the day went by because guess what?  You are not even ready to read this part…SHE DOES YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP!!!  Guys, she actually prefers that you sleep and she gets on with her work with peace, quiet and maximum concentration!  I am NEVER EVER going to get anyone else to braid my hair.  She is the hairdresser I have always wanted.

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Not only does she do your hair to a tee she is also a pleasant person who quickly blends in.  I love that she is open and tells you what does and doesn’t work for her from the get go.  The money she charges as you can see, is very much worth every dollar!

This year I promised myself that I would write more on women who are doing amazing things.  We normally focus on those who are already doing it big and forget about the ones in the shadows.  There is too much negativity as it is in the world, it would be beautiful to have more positive stories to read about women in our communities.  I kid you not, Christine is the first of many fabulous women to be featured on my blog this year.  I am so happy with my hair I might do it again and again and again before the year ends.

If you would like Christine to do your hair, she is just a phone call and thankfully she does home visits.  However, you have to book in advance as she is a very busy woman so you have to make sure you organise yourself in time.  Get in touch with me so that I can you the hook up of a lifetime!

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I am sooooo in love with my new hairdo you have no idea!  You know I love all things beautiful and when I say something is good it really is good.  Give her a try, you won’t be disappointed!

If you know anyone who would like to be featured please let me know.

©MaKupsy 2017

Women Creative Wednesday : Ameera Mimi

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Ameera Mimi is a Zimbabwe Fashion Week Blogger of the Year 2015 & 2014 , Blogger, Producer…everything else faded out after I read those first three things and I thought to myself I HAVE TO BE THERE!  Yesterday was the first Women Creative Wednesday of the year 2017 at Moto Republik and it was full house.  It’s great to see women come together and take time out of their busy schedules to get to learn new things and network.

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photo by @persuasioninczw

She gave a presentation on her journey thus far and I must say I was really impressed.  I don’t think most people realise the amount of power social media actually has.  She is Ameera is a great example of social media gone right.  She got to travel to Mauritius and a number of different destinations thanks to blogging.

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What I loved about her was her warm and friendly personality.  I think one can go very far with an attitude like that.  I always encourage women to attend these events and true to my word I only give out PART of the information I would have learnt from the do.  That way next time you will come along and experience it for yourself.  Yesterday the top tips that were shared were:

  1. Be yourself (people want that touch of personality in a blog)
  2. Stay committed to your passion.
  3. Be consistent if you want people to keep coming back for more.
  4. Research.
  5. Network, it’s important to build relations, you never know when you might need something from someone or vice versa.
  6. MAXIMISE ON YOUR STRENGTHS

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This time around the decor by Moto Republik was beautifully done with roses, lights, wine, juice, cupcakes and crackers served before and after the event.  You know that combination will definitely get people talking.  However, I didn’t stay long enough to enjoy most of it because I had to rush home and get a good nights rest.  You know me and my love for running.  Over and above it was a beautiful and intimate event and I am already looking forward to the next one.  They will be held every second Wednesday of each month this year so I hope to bump into more familiar faces next time.  A big shout out to Mama Moto for bringing creatives together.

©MaKupsy 2017

Sweet Chilli Chicken Kebabs with Avocado & Mango Salad

I will tell you this for free, cooking for one is a real pain!  That’s the only downside that comes to staying on your own and personally, I can count the number of days in a week I whip up something to eat at the end of the day.  I mainly survive on fruit and water and on a good day I will grill some meat but trust me, it feels like a mammoth task! However, after seeing some of the pictures on Instaram the past few weeks I had a change of heart because following Tanyaradzwa will have you bringing out the Chef in you.  She makes mouth watering meals and she was kind enough to share a recipe for a delicious and healthy meal that won’t take forever and a day to prepare.

All the ingredients:

3 chicken breasts
3 peppers, different colours (red, yellow and green)
Fresh tomato
Cucumber
Lettuce
Red onion
Avocado
Mango

Dice the chicken and season spices of choice. I used:

Ground black pepper
Jerk seasoning
Cajun seasoning
Extra hot chilli powder
Paprika
Mild curry powder

  • Chop peppers roughly to the size of chicken pieces
  • Using large skewers, assemble chicken kebabs alternating between chicken breast piece and a chopped pepper.
  • Place chicken kebabs on oven tray and cover with foil
  • Cook in the oven. Cooking times will vary according to size of chicken chunks.
  • Remove foil for approx 10 minutes to allow kebabs to brown. Glaze with sauce of choice if you wish. I used sweet Chilli sauce.
  • While kebabs finish cooking, chop up the vegetables (and fruit if you wish) to make a side salad. I used mango to add a sweet element to the dish!

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Plate and enjoy !

I am still trying to figure out why I decided to share this post at this time of day because now I feel very hungry!  I will make sure I get some of the ingredients today and try this out because it is just the switch I need in my meals and it also looks easy to prepare.

In case you did not know some of the benefits of eating chicken are:

  1. Helps build muscles
  2. Keeps your bones healthy
  3. Relieves stress
  4. Promotes heart health

A big thank you to do Tanyaradzwa for featuring on my blog.  I hope you start on a Food Blog soon because you are really great at what you do.  You can find Tanya on:

Twitter and Instagram you will be sure to follow her because she definitely has a Smile So Bright!

©MaKupsy 2017

Love The Skin You’re In – Exclusive Interview

Hi, my name is MaKupsy and I am a social media stalker!  I know I am not alone here but I can defend myself and tell you that I am on the “lite version” of stalking.  Meaning…I only stalk the interesting people on my timeline.  I bumped into this voluptuous woman on my Instagram feed and I was completely breath taken, like WOW!  I have been following her for a while now and just the other day I thought we should do an interview together and this is how it went.

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What is your name and where are you from?

My name is Mercy.  I am 22, born in Zimbabwe but I am currently living in the United Kingdom. I work as a model and brand ambassador for korrineskyintimates.co.uk

What inspired you to be a lingerie model?

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of modelling lingerie!  However, when the idea was proposed to me and I wore the lingerie for the first time, I took a moment to recognise and appreciate my uniqueness. It gave me an opportunity to reflect on the aspects of my body that at some point had made feel insecure. I have accepted all my flaws that I had previously struggled with growing up and have evolved into someone who is truly body positive.

How old were you when you started your career?

It all began about 3 years ago when my sister had an online clothing boutique. For promotional purposes we used to take our own pictures in the middle of the street and post them on social media. To our own surprise we had a great reception and that is when I discovered my glow in front of the camera.

Please share some of the challenges that come with the job?

When I first started I personally thought the physical expectations placed on models were often extreme. That I think was one of my worst fears.  Women face intense physical scrutiny and the pressure to measure up to standards that are often impossible. It made me realise that whether you are a model or not every woman has flaws and I had to learn to embrace mine.

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Are your family and friends supportive of your career?

My family is very supportive of my career, if not for them I probably would not be doing what I do with such confidence and pride. Most of my work is for Korrine Sky Intimates that is our brand and family business so the aim is to work hard and represent our brand well.

How do you deal with negative criticism?

In everything you do I think you should always leave a little room for criticism, not everybody will be a fan of your work and if you can hold your head up high and are proud of what you do that is all that matters.

On the other hand we are all human, If I said that the comments of nay sayers do not sometimes affect me I would be lying. One example I can share, I did a short film for Korrine Sky Intimates first year anniversary and someone made a snarky remark about the shape of my head. Now for me to let that not affect me I reminded myself that the shape of my head is something I cannot change. The trick to all of this is I only allow myself to feel it for a split second realise why I am doing this brush myself off and its back to business

What do you love the most about your job?

The best thing about my job is that I am doing something that I enjoy and love, I think that it is very important because most people are not as lucky in life to be able to live their passion.

Funny enough I used to avoid having my pictures taken when I was younger, since I discovered that I can serve body and face I have never looked back since. I get a lot of room to be creative and experiment with my body shape size and looks nothing can beat that.

Any wise words to share for those who would one day want to be models as well?

I cannot emphasise enough to women how important it is; if you decide to embark on this journey as a model the first and most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. Confidence is like a smell it follows you everywhere you go. One thing my mama has taught me is that there is nothing more sexy and liberating than a woman who oozes confidence knows exactly what she wants, sets goals and achieves them!

You can find Mercy on these Social Media Networks:

INSTAGRAM  @mercydiosa

SNAPCHAT  @Chynageisha

TWITTER  @Mercydiosa1

WEBSITE mercydiosa.com

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©MaKupsy 2016

 

My Hair Grows Towards Heaven!

The first time ever Hair Meet Up was held last Saturday between 10am and 1pm.  Before I left the house a few minutes before 10am I thought I would be one of the first people to get to the venue, you know how terrible most people are with time.  Surprise surprise there were close to 20 people when I got there.  What time did these women wake up??  Wait, the first 5 people to get to the venue were going to get a free hairdo, now it made sense!  The way my hair was a hot mess I should have left home early as well but there is always next time I guess.

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The venue was beautiful.  Chairs close to the pool in the shade away from the unforgiving sun.  I have never seen so many women with different natural hairstyles in one place.  The event started a few minutes after 10am and the hostesses and guest speakers were lively and got the crowd taking part.

We had an amazing time and I learnt some very valuable lessons from this meet up.  I realised that I have been doing more harm than good to my hair without even realising it.  We have too much information around us and thanks to Google we now search for everything and automatically assume that whatever we find there holds true to our own situations.  Below are a few tips and sayings I found very useful and inspiring:

  1. You need to learn what your hair likes so that you know which products to try. Do not use too many products at once otherwise you will not figure out what is actually working for you or not.
  2. Move around with a bottle of water and spritz water to keep it soft. Sometimes you can try adding some oil. Just a bit of oil, maybe a tablespoon or less.  Zimbabwe is dry; your hair needs WATER more than anything.
  3. You can use eggs and avocados on your hair without having to break a budget on expensive products. Most times home remedies work wonders on your hair.
  4. Tea tree and peppermint oil are good for dandruff.
  5. Remember that hair is different. What works for Chido won’t work for Chipo.
  6. Never comb your hair when it is dry.
  7. Our hair is the only hair that grows towards heaven. God did not make a mistake by making it the way it is.

  8. The moment you undo your hair and there is that stickiness it means you are using too much product in it.
  9. Castor oil and blended red onion is good for your hairline.
  10. Speak affirmations of love to your hair.
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MaKupsy & @Pineapple_ZW (Twitter)

We were sold a dream though, the ticket said that Kudzai Sevenzo would be the special guest appearance but she didn’t come through and there was no mention or explanation of why that did not materialise.

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The hamper I won for Tweeting about the event like a maniac 🙂

Over and above the event was well organised.  A number of women walked away with prizes myself included and it was a day well spent gathering priceless information.  I know for a fact that from now on I will NOT buy any hair product that does not contain Aqua in it.  My hair journey has already begun and months from now I will show you if the tips above helped or not.  I really need to get my hair line back it is currently in ICU!

Do you have any more natural hair tips you would like to share?  If yes please feel free to get in touch so that we can have more information available for natural hair enthusiasts.

©MaKupsy 2016

 

Are You Comfortable In Your Clothes?

A few months ago I decided to finally attend an event that most Hararians rave about the last Sunday of each month.  It always took place when I was out of town but this time I made sure I was available.  I only arrived sometime after 6pm and because it was winter I made sure I was fully dressed in my tights, boots, dress, jacket and scarf!  Yes, I am THAT scared of the cold.

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However, when I arrived I noticed that most of the women were dressed in shorts, tights, mini skirts and short summer dresses.  I checked out the guys and the majority of them were in jeans, t shirts and a jacket; all dressed up to keep warm.  This event starts at midday which is a great idea because you can get to show off your nice bits in the warm sun and if you want to leave early you can do so after having a great afternoon.  If you decide to stay on for the rest of the evening I think you will need to have a plan because goodness was it cold that day or what!  I could see a few women with goosebumps from a mile away and it had me thinking if they were really comfortable with their dress choice for the day or they were braving it out for the love of fashion.  Don’t get me wrong I love me some sassy clothes but I just think that sometimes us women put ourselves through the most!

I have another example.  This one time I decided to go and watch a cricket match. Me being me, I thought well, I am going for a sporting event let me wear a pair of shorts, top, sunglasses and a comfortable tennis shoes and be on my way.  Did I just not get the shock of my life when I got there.  Some women were in 6 inch heels!!  How people, tell me how?  There was obviously going to be a lot of cheering, dancing jumping and down happening and I can’t even begin to imagine just how these women were planning on enjoying their afternoon dressed in killer heels so to speak.

Do not get me wrong, this post is not meant to bash anyone for the way they dress.  If anything I actually want to know from some women why they choose to dress this way for occasions you would think were not that deep.  LOL. Have you seen how guys are always fully clothed when you go out?  Why are we putting ourselves through this much torture?  I call it torture because I don’t want to freeze my ass off in the cold when I know I could easily wear something warm or end up feeling unhappy because I am wearing shoes that are definitely not for the occasion.  When I go out I make sure that I am comfortable and happy.  I will go clubbing and never leave the dance floor because I don’t have to keep pulling my dress down or have to hold my shoes in my hand because my feet are now painful and stopping me from pulling some epic dance moves!

I asked a few guys their opinion on this issue of wearing skimpy clothes and this is what they had to say:

GUY ONE: I don’t see a problem with that dressing if you’re going for the day look but if you’re planning on being there all night then I think it’ll be wise of you to wear something that says “I’m here to relax, have a good time, look and feel comfortable & warm” something that doesn’t make it seem like you’re trying too hard to be noticed. I mean after all simple is sexy I always say. The problem is some dress to be noticed by others at the expense of themselves. “Dress for a cause not applause!” i.e dress for yourself. That ka simpleness is hella attractive!

GUY TWO: Okay well here’s the thing. I think some women dress like that to feel comfortable, especially if it’s hot. Maybe some would be looking for attention from guys, that is “seizing a bae” but ultimately I think it’s about what they feel comfortable in. If it’s going to be cold, it’s probably advisable if they bring leggings, a jacket or something to wear when it gets colder.

GUY THREE: I am just going to be honest and open about this, I WISH WOMEN DID THIS MORE, I love it!

GUY FOUR: Guys will dress more safely perhaps because guys don’t particularly go crazy because of what to wear at an occasion. They will be concentrating on what is going to happen when you get to the occasion, for example, going for a braai.  They are interested in the braaing aspect and probably how much alcohol they will drink, nothing about dress code.  Over and above I think women should just adopt this kind of attitude (what are the chances though) dress appropriately but still look really good.

So ladies, I want to hear from you, are you comfortable in what you choose to wear for an occasion? Who helps you decide on your outfit for the day and do you have a back up plan for when the weather changes up on you or you are on that “Fashion knows no weather tip”?  Let’s talk.

 

©MaKupsy 2016