My Thoughts On Abortion

Abortion in Zimbabwe is illegal as provided for under the Termination of Pregnancy Act of 1977 [Chapter 15:10].  The crime of unlawful termination carries a maximum prison sentence of 5 years.”

Thoughts on abortion MaKupsy.jpg

Image from Pinterest

Abortion is a sensitive subject because so many issues are at play.  The image above shows you how society can easily influence one’s decision.  The very same influencers will turn back and ask why you chose to keep a baby you couldn’t take care of?  Like who’s side are you on exactly?  Taking care of another human being is taxing, from diapers, formula, clothes, medical care; you really have to be up for it otherwise you might come out of it with stress instead of the happiness you hoped for.

Yesterday someone on Twitter had a poll that asked if men should have a say when it comes to abortion.  I replied him and said that yes a man can voice his opinion but at the end of the day it was the woman’s body that was going to go through all the changes so ultimately the final decision lies with her. I’m a mother, I’ve gone through pregnancy and that ride was not a walk over.  My body and my mental health was never the same again so if anyone chooses not to walk down that path I would never judge them.

I asked a few of my #BlogIndaba friends their thoughts on abortion and this is what they had to share;

Pro Abortion

Blogger 1

The number of babies I’ve seen and I’ve treated in children’s homes, hospitals (one mom gave birth in Harare Hospital and left the baby; upped and left) is depressing. The adoption system is in shambles. I have a couple wanting to adopt. They have the means, they have the desire but one year later we’re still waiting.  I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I have to come to terms with the fact that people have different principles than me.  I’d rather advocate for safe abortions than those backdoor ones because they do happen, and we can’t act like they’re not.  If we can have free contraception, things that cost a bomb in other countries; contraception is expensive elsewhere, surely we can have low-cost abortions. Yes, it has many implications, because it’s terminating a pregnancy. Her hormones are all over the place, and some will grieve. So that’s when you need sensitive people who will counsel before and after abortion. So yeah… that’s me.

Blogger 2

I’m pro-abortion. We all have our reasons for not being able to keep a child. Finances, negligence, a case of rape.  The reasons vary.

Blogger 3

I’m pro-abortion.  Backyard abortions are rampant and it’s only right to lessen it by legalising abortion.

Blogger 4

I think people with issues on this should visit children homes and hear some stories that come with children who were simply dumped and someone else found them and chose to take care of them.  I personally think if you are not ready to fend for a child abortion is a good idea.  Most of us have sex with condoms not really because we scared of diseases but mostly fear of getting pregnant.

In my opinion these are some of the reasons why some women would choose to have an abortion:

  1. Age, maybe you’re too young.  Having a child when you are still in your teens might change your life forever and disrupt your learning life.  However, it has worked out for some.  Maybe you are too old; there are a lot of complications that come with having a child when you’re old and one of them is giving birth to a child with special needs.  When you’re older you have less energy to be up and about now add a child to the mix…
  2. You are not yet financially stable.  Imagine the situation for the majority of Zimbabweans, most people do not have any form of income and adding another mouth to feed to an already existing issue can only spell disaster.
  3. Your partner is not forthcoming and you don’t want to have to deal with dead beat daddy issues so you save yourself the drama.  One day when you are free take a trip to Civil Court and listen to some of the child maintenance cases where men are not taking care of their children.  Some men are offering to pay $20 a month to their ex spouses who they walked out on 3 kids later.
  4. It’s an unplanned pregnancy.  In case you didn’t know contraceptive methods aren’t 100% effective and you could be doing everything right but still fall pregnant.
  5. You simply don’t want a child right now.  Not everyone wants to have children but almost everyone wants to have sex, that’s not a crime AT ALL.
Anti Abortion MaKupsy.jpg

Ireland Repeals It’s Abortion Ban; 26 May 2018

Anti-Abortion

Blogger 1

I’m anti-abortion.  A friend of mine was forced to abort because the baby had a weak heartbeat and it wouldn’t survive. It was a medical abortion but she did get sick for a while.

I can think of a couple of reasons why I would join the anti-abortion wagon;

  1. It might be the only child you will ever be able to conceive.  If children were a big part of your life plan and that one abortion incident is the reason you can’t have anymore children you will probably be filled with regret for the rest of your life.
  2. In as much as a pregnancy was unplanned what else did you expect to happen if you were actively engaged in unprotected sex?  I’ve heard of incidents where a boyfriend will deny his girlfriend’s pregnancy; last time I checked “You won’t be pouring fanta down her vagina” it’s sperm my friend and unprotected sex comes with consequences.  You must learn to take responsibility for your actions.
  3. The act of abortion might haunt you for the rest of your life especially if it’s in the later stages of pregnancy.
  4. Depending on which type (legal or back door) of abortion you choose to have it might affect your health. Some of the unsafe abortion methods I’ve heard about include bathing in scorching hot water, using a coat hanger or knitting needle, drinking ghastly tasting herbs. Chances of you damaging your internal organs are very likely or the worst case scenario is death; will any of this be worth it in the end?

There are so many layers to abortion, I can’t possibly cover all of them in one blog post.   The one thing I strongly feel our society needs to emphasise on is sex education.  A lot of people from my generation had to hunt and gather information regarding our sexual health through various and not so reliable sources.  We can do better by being honest and open with children where sexual health is concerned.  You can read some of my experiences on the subject; The Birds & The Bees  and My Birth Control Experience.

My final thoughts when it comes to abortion; babies eat money, have them at your own risk!  On a serious note, I’m pro whatever makes you sleep at night, at the end of the day you are the one who has to live with the decision you choose to make.

Friends from Facebook shared their thoughts here.  What are your thoughts on the subject ?

©MaKupsy 2018

Advertisements

Day 22: Who Are You To Police My Black Hair?

I think people are just jealous of the way black hair is so versatile!  Not just any black hair but a black woman’s hair.  What I love about my hair is that I can do any and everything to it everyday.  One day I have twists, the next day I have a mini afro and who knows maybe the next day I will let it out to flourish and be happy.  The thing with black hair is that it has so many layers to it.  It can be both creative and daring and that makes people unhappy, especially people you work with.    It’s a damn shame for them because I won’t stop being myself, I love every inch of my black hair!

img_7212.jpg

MaKupsy

That’s me in the photo above; making people very unhappy with my uncombed hair.  Shout out to The Quarter Wife for the beautiful picture.  If you are a black woman I’m sure you are familiar with some of these statements.  Some may call them insults depending on how they take them.

  • Do you need a comb for your hair?
  • When are you getting your hair plaited?
  • That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!
  • Why do you have a maids hairdo?
  • Can I touch your hair?
  • Aren’t you wearing a wig on top of those cornrows?

I’ve been asked a few of those questions above about my hair.  People really try my patience I tell you!  I sometimes wonder they ask just to hear what I have to say.  I would get really worked up the first days but lately I just smile or completely ignore their remarks.  My favourite one is “That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!”.  The reason why I like it is because each time I get cornrows done I shed off a whole 5 years from my age, people start thinking Im in my 20s, what’s not to love?  I’m not even insulted, Im excited, all the more chances of getting hit on by a young hot blooded man.(just kidding!)  

What most people don’t understand is that protective styles are actually good for your hair.  My hairline used to suffer in the past but ever since I attended a couple of Natural Hair Events I now know how to take better care of my hair.  When I think back growing up we used to do each other’s hair during school holidays or on weekends and our go to hairstyle was mabuns (African Threading) not a single person had hairline problems then our hair was intact!

21740196_10156599253034746_1804613863756250446_n (1).jpg

(African Threading) Photo Credit: Shuvai Murumbi (Facebook)

Show me one woman who doesn’t want an intact hairline and I will show you a liar!  This hairstyle just needs your time, $1 to buy wool and voila you’re good to go.  Tell me one person who doesn’t want to save money the way our economy is currently set up?  Some people will call this a maid’s hairstyle I call it a wise woman’s hairstyle.  If there is one thing all women need to do more it’s to be comfortable in their own skin, even if it means rocking mabuns!

If your hair is nappy they are not happy” – Paul Mooney

If there is one thing you need to do for your hair it’s learn everything you can about it.  We all have different hair types and what works for me will not work for you.  I used to be super obsessed about my hair length but I realised that what matters the most is that I have healthy hair more than anything.  Be kind to your hair, don’t be stressing the heck out of it.  I think hair can actually hear things if you ask me so feed it with love, attention and products that will keep it well hydrated and moisturised.

21370875_1497660093614241_1840485260261900026_n.jpg

Photo Credit: Alice Murewa (Facebook)

My colleagues have since stopped asking about my hair.  Now they just watch and get the shock of their lives.  They realised they can’t steal my joy and they have probably embraced that I’m fearless when it comes to my hair.  I don’t conform to society’s expectations.  If I want my hair natural I will wear it as is, I’m not everyone, I am uniquely me.

To all the black girls who are constantly harassed about the state of their hair, next time anyone tries to insult you tell them to focus on their own hair and leave yours the heck alone! 

9ab3c422-b2dc-4249-bd75-a27af870b348.jpg

Photo Credit: Thembi

You can read about some of the events and my hair experiences from here:

  1. My Hair Game Is Non-Existent
  2. The Power of A Referral
  3. My Hair Grows Towards Heaven
  4. I Love My Natural Hair

What are some of the worst things people have said or done to your hair?  Are you comfortable walking about with your hair in it’s natural state?  Let’s share your hair stories.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Day 6: Women Creative Wednesday – RuTendo DeNise

Today is Day 6 of the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge and the theme is to write about your experience at a event or restaurant.  I wrote this piece last year on the 1st of December and everything in here still applies today.  Read and enjoy, this event changed my life!

I love all things creative and when I got an invite from Lo to attend an event at Moto Republik I was thrilled.  They have a do they have every month they titled #WCW (Women Creative Wednesday) Women Creative Wednesday is an intimate presentation & discussion platform focused on introducing and educating young women on careers in the creative industry as well as connecting them to mentors and peers within the sector.  For the month of November their feature was Rutendo Denise who is a Zimbabwean performance poet, writer, model and social media success story.  

Lo was hosting the discussion and I clearly remember her saying that in Africa, the moment you tell your family that you want to pursue a career in the Creative Industry they go wide eyed and ask questions like “You want to get paid to Tweet?”  So funny!

I normally live Tweet when I attend events but this one was too intimate I had to give it my full attention and I was mind blown by the things that Rutendo shared with us.

0dde182e-6c64-46ba-94c8-fc2f4e5d2cb1.jpg
Rutendo touched on so many different issues ranging from drug abuse, suicide, friendship, creativity…it was a mixed bag that left you thinking long and hard about your own life.  I took my “goals” notebook with me and I had nearly 4 pages full of information and trust me years from today I will look back at these nuggets and thank myself for attending this do because information like this rarely ever comes your way.  I will give you some of the information not all that way you guys will attend events next time you hear about them.

Hello

A hello goes a really long way.  People get really “cliquey” when they arrive at events and miss out on opportunities to meet contacts they might need in the future.  When I arrived I remember Rutendo asked us which music albums we were each currently listening to just to break the ice and it got everyone talking.  Later on during the discussion she mentioned that the reason she had asked us about music was because she was nervous and trying to find a way to get us chatting.  She emphasised how a hello can go a very long way because after everyone introduced themselves we had a Blogger, Artist, Chef, App Developer, Journalist, Fitness Consultant, MC & Poet all in one room.  Now imagine if we hadn’t said hello.

Own Your Story

f8a345be-f560-4155-9a88-a7fc4e67c1c9

Above is a screenshot from one of the stories from one of her followers that she shared.  You have to be comfortable with what you have been through.  You will stop yourself from being great because of your past.  You know that feeling of constantly thinking you can’t do certain things because people will then walk up to you and say but we heard you once did a,b,c…  Rutendo has a “#Testimony Time series” on her Instagram where she shares stories of the things that have happened to her that most people are not comfortable talking about.  This has opened doors for other people to also share their stories as well.  We are all going through the most and she has done a great job of getting people to speak up, sometimes that’s all you need, someone who will listen.

Growth

We are all seeds that need to be nurtured. This time next year you will not be the same person.  You will have to put in the work if you want to see results.  Push yourself and strive for excellence.  We have all been given time so make sure you make the most of it doing the best of what you love.  There is no time for mediocrity.

This was an experience that was worth every minute of my time.  You know how you attend something and you keep looking at your watch wondering when you will be put out of your misery?  Not with this one.  This experience was engaging and informative. My passion lies in the creative industry and getting to have time to have one on one dialogue with someone who is in it and doing exceedingly well is something you don’t get to do everyday.  I want to look back a year from today and tick all the nuggets in my “goals” book and send Rutendo a very long email telling her how I smashed all of my goals and I am finally doing the things that fire my soul full time.

9a755601-3bab-4f6a-8344-cdf74657f9cf

Artist, Blogger, Chef, App Developer, Journalist, Fitness Consultant, MC, Poet, Plus Size Model a mixed bag of creatives all in one room

Without a willing heart, fighting spirit, discernment and the constant pursuit of personal excellence, you won’t achieve or amount to much. .R.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoga Classes

Hello my darlings!

I always want to keep you updated on what’s going on in the fitness world in and possibly around Harare.  Take your pens out and jot this down or take a screen shot of this blog post or better yet book mark it for future reference.

My fitness friend Tendai Angela hosts Yoga Classes every week and this is what her calendar looks like:

Monday: 18:45 – 19:45hrs 

(Set intentions of the week, relaxation) at Queen of Hearts. “The art of release and internal balance.”

Wednesday: 16:30 – 17:30hrs

(Mid week check in) at Queen of Hearts. “Nourishing Vinyasa Flow.”

Saturday: 08:30 – 09:30hrs

Franjipani in Mount Pleasant.  “Consciousness in Motion.”

Saturday: 12 – 13:00hrs at Queen of Hearts.  This is a free class for women with endometriosis or any menstrual related issues or pain.  “Self Love Series”

I hope to see you at one of the classes because I will definitely take some time out and let my body do the Yoga!

052c656a-81bd-4ae7-b22e-5c2f40a0ee8c.jpg

Tendai Angela

For more information kindly get in touch with her on this platform.

Fitness Bae®

 

 

Giveaway : Heels

Good morning my lovings, I hope you are all well.

Before my fitness journey I was addicted to wearing heels. Years later I hardly ever wear heels if anything I am always on the lookout for comfortable running shoes. I am giving away one of my favourite heels (preloved) and for you to win you simply have to:

1. Tell me why you should win the pair of shoes?
2. Tell me the name of the hash tag I own.
3. Add your favourite picture to your post.

The person with the most likes wins!!!

Closing date for the give away is Sunday 27 May 2017 so get sharing you might just make someone’s day.

P.S The shoes are size 6 so if you aren’t a size 6 you can always win them for a friend or your girlfriend☺️☺️

Like my Facebook Page to take part.

Fitness Bae®

Turn The Page – Bobby Valentino

Do they still make men like these??  Men who will run after the woman they love to win her back or because of technology a new girlfriend is just a single message away? The moment you call it quits he disappears into thin air?  It’s like he was just waiting for the chance to break up so that he can move on with his life.

I love this track to bits all the same!

©MaKupsy 2017

Women Creative Wednesday : Ameera Mimi

oihhtz0k

Ameera Mimi is a Zimbabwe Fashion Week Blogger of the Year 2015 & 2014 , Blogger, Producer…everything else faded out after I read those first three things and I thought to myself I HAVE TO BE THERE!  Yesterday was the first Women Creative Wednesday of the year 2017 at Moto Republik and it was full house.  It’s great to see women come together and take time out of their busy schedules to get to learn new things and network.

C4u4Wx9WQAce_4D.jpg

photo by @persuasioninczw

She gave a presentation on her journey thus far and I must say I was really impressed.  I don’t think most people realise the amount of power social media actually has.  She is Ameera is a great example of social media gone right.  She got to travel to Mauritius and a number of different destinations thanks to blogging.

C4uD1LNW8AAv-nY.jpg

 

What I loved about her was her warm and friendly personality.  I think one can go very far with an attitude like that.  I always encourage women to attend these events and true to my word I only give out PART of the information I would have learnt from the do.  That way next time you will come along and experience it for yourself.  Yesterday the top tips that were shared were:

  1. Be yourself (people want that touch of personality in a blog)
  2. Stay committed to your passion.
  3. Be consistent if you want people to keep coming back for more.
  4. Research.
  5. Network, it’s important to build relations, you never know when you might need something from someone or vice versa.
  6. MAXIMISE ON YOUR STRENGTHS

cba938e5-5fa7-4353-902a-ef1355047a56.jpg

 

This time around the decor by Moto Republik was beautifully done with roses, lights, wine, juice, cupcakes and crackers served before and after the event.  You know that combination will definitely get people talking.  However, I didn’t stay long enough to enjoy most of it because I had to rush home and get a good nights rest.  You know me and my love for running.  Over and above it was a beautiful and intimate event and I am already looking forward to the next one.  They will be held every second Wednesday of each month this year so I hope to bump into more familiar faces next time.  A big shout out to Mama Moto for bringing creatives together.

©MaKupsy 2017

Sweet Chilli Chicken Kebabs with Avocado & Mango Salad

I will tell you this for free, cooking for one is a real pain!  That’s the only downside that comes to staying on your own and personally, I can count the number of days in a week I whip up something to eat at the end of the day.  I mainly survive on fruit and water and on a good day I will grill some meat but trust me, it feels like a mammoth task! However, after seeing some of the pictures on Instaram the past few weeks I had a change of heart because following Tanyaradzwa will have you bringing out the Chef in you.  She makes mouth watering meals and she was kind enough to share a recipe for a delicious and healthy meal that won’t take forever and a day to prepare.

All the ingredients:

3 chicken breasts
3 peppers, different colours (red, yellow and green)
Fresh tomato
Cucumber
Lettuce
Red onion
Avocado
Mango

Dice the chicken and season spices of choice. I used:

Ground black pepper
Jerk seasoning
Cajun seasoning
Extra hot chilli powder
Paprika
Mild curry powder

  • Chop peppers roughly to the size of chicken pieces
  • Using large skewers, assemble chicken kebabs alternating between chicken breast piece and a chopped pepper.
  • Place chicken kebabs on oven tray and cover with foil
  • Cook in the oven. Cooking times will vary according to size of chicken chunks.
  • Remove foil for approx 10 minutes to allow kebabs to brown. Glaze with sauce of choice if you wish. I used sweet Chilli sauce.
  • While kebabs finish cooking, chop up the vegetables (and fruit if you wish) to make a side salad. I used mango to add a sweet element to the dish!

Kebab.jpg

Plate and enjoy !

I am still trying to figure out why I decided to share this post at this time of day because now I feel very hungry!  I will make sure I get some of the ingredients today and try this out because it is just the switch I need in my meals and it also looks easy to prepare.

In case you did not know some of the benefits of eating chicken are:

  1. Helps build muscles
  2. Keeps your bones healthy
  3. Relieves stress
  4. Promotes heart health

A big thank you to do Tanyaradzwa for featuring on my blog.  I hope you start on a Food Blog soon because you are really great at what you do.  You can find Tanya on:

Twitter and Instagram you will be sure to follow her because she definitely has a Smile So Bright!

©MaKupsy 2017

My Hair Grows Towards Heaven!

The first time ever Hair Meet Up was held last Saturday between 10am and 1pm.  Before I left the house a few minutes before 10am I thought I would be one of the first people to get to the venue, you know how terrible most people are with time.  Surprise surprise there were close to 20 people when I got there.  What time did these women wake up??  Wait, the first 5 people to get to the venue were going to get a free hairdo, now it made sense!  The way my hair was a hot mess I should have left home early as well but there is always next time I guess.

img-20161105-wa0006

The venue was beautiful.  Chairs close to the pool in the shade away from the unforgiving sun.  I have never seen so many women with different natural hairstyles in one place.  The event started a few minutes after 10am and the hostesses and guest speakers were lively and got the crowd taking part.

We had an amazing time and I learnt some very valuable lessons from this meet up.  I realised that I have been doing more harm than good to my hair without even realising it.  We have too much information around us and thanks to Google we now search for everything and automatically assume that whatever we find there holds true to our own situations.  Below are a few tips and sayings I found very useful and inspiring:

  1. You need to learn what your hair likes so that you know which products to try. Do not use too many products at once otherwise you will not figure out what is actually working for you or not.
  2. Move around with a bottle of water and spritz water to keep it soft. Sometimes you can try adding some oil. Just a bit of oil, maybe a tablespoon or less.  Zimbabwe is dry; your hair needs WATER more than anything.
  3. You can use eggs and avocados on your hair without having to break a budget on expensive products. Most times home remedies work wonders on your hair.
  4. Tea tree and peppermint oil are good for dandruff.
  5. Remember that hair is different. What works for Chido won’t work for Chipo.
  6. Never comb your hair when it is dry.
  7. Our hair is the only hair that grows towards heaven. God did not make a mistake by making it the way it is.

  8. The moment you undo your hair and there is that stickiness it means you are using too much product in it.
  9. Castor oil and blended red onion is good for your hairline.
  10. Speak affirmations of love to your hair.
CwfNJNTXUAEPGFL.jpg

MaKupsy & @Pineapple_ZW (Twitter)

We were sold a dream though, the ticket said that Kudzai Sevenzo would be the special guest appearance but she didn’t come through and there was no mention or explanation of why that did not materialise.

20161105_135720.jpg

The hamper I won for Tweeting about the event like a maniac 🙂

Over and above the event was well organised.  A number of women walked away with prizes myself included and it was a day well spent gathering priceless information.  I know for a fact that from now on I will NOT buy any hair product that does not contain Aqua in it.  My hair journey has already begun and months from now I will show you if the tips above helped or not.  I really need to get my hair line back it is currently in ICU!

Do you have any more natural hair tips you would like to share?  If yes please feel free to get in touch so that we can have more information available for natural hair enthusiasts.

©MaKupsy 2016

 

Ways To Make Her Feel All Mushy Inside

I sometimes think that men think that all women want all these fancy dinners, weekend getaways to some exotic destination, expensive gifts and a whole list of straight out of a movie romantic gestures.  What they don’t realise is that even though that sounds very alluring most times women(I speak for myself here) really want realistic and thoughtful gestures that will have them mooning all day long.

Let me give you a list of ideas you can try out and tell me if they work out for you.  Some of them have happened to me and really made my day so take it from me, they work like magic.

  • Send her a bunch of flowers just because it’s a beautiful day.
  • Surprise her by showing up at her doorstep and walking her to work or dropping her off.
  • When you buy call credit for yourself ask yourself when you last sent her any and send her some.
  • Show up at her workplace and just check up on her and give her a big kiss before you leave. (Away from your coworkers of course)
  • Make her a cup of coffee when she is sick and try and spend the day watching over her and making sure she is comfortable.
cfdd55de-7240-4ea4-885a-77463a12cd8f.jpg

Bring her carrot cake to work

  • Open the car door for her.
  • Hold her hand in public.  Now this I haven’t seen in a while, by the way I walk to work so I get to see a lot of couples but lately no hand holding is happening from my part of town.
  • Tell her when her lipstick has smudged.
  • Cook her favourite meal for her.
  • Personally deliver her favourite cake to her office just before her coffee break.

Love is a verb, a doing word… Words don’t always really express how much someone means to you.  Sometimes you have to be creative and think outside the box and within your budget to find a way to make sure you are constantly giving your other half that mushy feeling.

Ladies, are there any other ways you think can add that extra mushiness to your life?  Gentleman, what do you think women should do for you to give you that blush effect, or maybe men are really not about that life?

MaKupsy