I think people are just jealous of the way black hair is so versatile! Not just any black hair but a black woman’s hair. What I love about my hair is that I can do any and everything to it everyday. One day I have twists, the next day I have a mini afro and who knows maybe the next day I will let it out to flourish and be happy. The thing with black hair is that it has so many layers to it. It can be both creative and daring and that makes people unhappy, especially people you work with. It’s a damn shame for them because I won’t stop being myself, I love every inch of my black hair!
That’s me in the photo above; making people very unhappy with my uncombed hair. Shout out to The Quarter Wife for the beautiful picture. If you are a black woman I’m sure you are familiar with some of these statements. Some may call them insults depending on how they take them.
- Do you need a comb for your hair?
- When are you getting your hair plaited?
- That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!
- Why do you have a maids hairdo?
- Can I touch your hair?
- Aren’t you wearing a wig on top of those cornrows?
I’ve been asked a few of those questions above about my hair. People really try my patience I tell you! I sometimes wonder they ask just to hear what I have to say. I would get really worked up the first days but lately I just smile or completely ignore their remarks. My favourite one is “That’s a school girl hairstyle, you really have gone broke!”. The reason why I like it is because each time I get cornrows done I shed off a whole 5 years from my age, people start thinking Im in my 20s, what’s not to love? I’m not even insulted, Im excited, all the more chances of getting hit on by a young hot blooded man.(just kidding!)
What most people don’t understand is that protective styles are actually good for your hair. My hairline used to suffer in the past but ever since I attended a couple of Natural Hair Events I now know how to take better care of my hair. When I think back growing up we used to do each other’s hair during school holidays or on weekends and our go to hairstyle was mabuns (African Threading) not a single person had hairline problems then our hair was intact!
Show me one woman who doesn’t want an intact hairline and I will show you a liar! This hairstyle just needs your time, $1 to buy wool and voila you’re good to go. Tell me one person who doesn’t want to save money the way our economy is currently set up? Some people will call this a maid’s hairstyle I call it a wise woman’s hairstyle. If there is one thing all women need to do more it’s to be comfortable in their own skin, even if it means rocking mabuns!
If your hair is nappy they are not happy” – Paul Mooney
If there is one thing you need to do for your hair it’s learn everything you can about it. We all have different hair types and what works for me will not work for you. I used to be super obsessed about my hair length but I realised that what matters the most is that I have healthy hair more than anything. Be kind to your hair, don’t be stressing the heck out of it. I think hair can actually hear things if you ask me so feed it with love, attention and products that will keep it well hydrated and moisturised.
My colleagues have since stopped asking about my hair. Now they just watch and get the shock of their lives. They realised they can’t steal my joy and they have probably embraced that I’m fearless when it comes to my hair. I don’t conform to society’s expectations. If I want my hair natural I will wear it as is, I’m not everyone, I am uniquely me.
To all the black girls who are constantly harassed about the state of their hair, next time anyone tries to insult you tell them to focus on their own hair and leave yours the heck alone!
You can read about some of the events and my hair experiences from here:
- My Hair Game Is Non-Existent
- The Power of A Referral
- My Hair Grows Towards Heaven
- I Love My Natural Hair
What are some of the worst things people have said or done to your hair? Are you comfortable walking about with your hair in it’s natural state? Let’s share your hair stories.