Never in my wildest dreams did I think preschool children bullied each other. I mean these are supposed to be sweet and innocent little human beings, where could they possibly get a mean streak from? Turns out I was wrong, very wrong and my daughter told me the most heart breaking thing a few weeks ago.
Me: What are your favourite things in the whole wide world?
Miss Kupsy: Pizza, going to school, princess dresses and exercising with mummy.
Me: Aww sweetheart, isn’t that lovely.
Miss Kupsy: But Alex from school pinches and smacks me sometimes…
I gave my daughter a warm tight hug and asked her to tell me more about the incidents. She told me that the boys were twins but only one of them gave her grief. He apparently drinks her juice, pinches and smacks her and sometimes takes her lunch. I was gutted! I have never smacked her at all and here is this little person making school a nightmare for my daughter!! I instinctively told her that she should fight back (which by the way isn’t even in her nature) but also realised that it would probably make the situation worse for her and that there surely should be another way of handling the situation. She didn’t want to dwell on the subject any further and asked we change the subject, which we did but I had to do something about it. I spoke to her teacher who confirmed that the little boy was indeed a problem and they had taken to smacking him whenever any child reported his behaviour and that my daughter is not the only one being picked on, there were plenty more who were victims. Thankfully schools closed and she won’t have to face him again because she’s off to grade school.
However, I still feel that this isn’t going to end here. I know this too well, I experienced bullying first hand and it’s not a pleasant space to find yourself in. The form of bullying I had to deal with was isolation. School children can be evil little creatures!
You would think bullying would stop by a certain age right? Unfortunately for me I had more bullying in store for me in my adult life! This time it was in the form of cyber bullying. Turns out my blog wasn’t “cool enough” to be regarded as a blog. My writing style didn’t conform to what bloggers from my country were used to and it wasn’t a themed blog as well. I would sit and read the most hurtful comments and wonder what exactly was wrong with being different? I wanted and still want my blog to be a reflection of me, I have multiple layers to me, why should I restrict myself to being one set thing?
I spoke to my close friend about my daughter being bullied and she recommended that I teach her to be bald and fight back. I think enrolling her in a self defence class of sort will actually be to her advantage. As women, we aren’t actually taught how to defend ourselves, if anything we are given a whole list of chores we should be able to do by a certain age and absolutely nothing on our own safety!
A male friend suggested speaking to the authorities at school the next time it happens, or better still to confront the parents of whoever gives my daughter grief, that way it would help tackle the situation head on.
According to Google; “Long-term bullying can lead to depression and feelings that you are worthless. Some of these effects can last for a long time, even into adulthood. A person who is bullied may become an adult who finds it hard to trust others, has problems making or keeping friends and lacks in confidence or self-worth.”
I want the best for my daughter and I don’t ever want her to let one of the things that make her happy be the same thing that brings her sadness. School is clearly her happy place and I would be more than thankful if you have any ideas or suggestions on how I can help her take care of herself at school in my absence. I’m welcome to ideas, as long as they don’t involve her becoming a mean little person, she’s a little angel and I would like her to stay that way for as long as possible.
Have you experienced bullying? How did you tackle the situation? What makes people bully others? Please help me understand this madness, I’m losing my mind!