Day 28: It’s All Fun & Games Until You Start Staying Together!

‘Kuchaya Mapoto translation Cohabiting”

Dating can be a really fun experience.  From the dates, the gifts,the getting to know each other phase.  Your partner seems perfect, too perfect sometimes you start thinking they might be too good to be true.  In my opinion it’s like that because you don’t get to spend ALL your time with them.  I think the one time you truly get to find out who you are dating is when you start living together.  I once tried out cohabiting and the first few months were bliss.  Nothing can compare to waking up next to the person who makes your heart go pitter-patter.  Lovely as it may seem, there are a few issues that come with living together, let me list a few of them.  This was my experience…

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Sleeping Patterns

I sleep really early.  On a good day I am lights out anytime before 9:30pm.  When I go to sleep I want complete darkness in the room and no background noise.  That wasn’t the same for my partner.  He loved watching TV in bed and he used to wake up at ungodly hours to watch NFL games.  You can imagine how annoyed I got because that meant I would be wide awake and most times I had work the next day and that just made me very cranky come morning.  He was happy he got to watch the game, I was pissed off because I didn’t have enough sleep.  Drama, drama!

Bad Habits

We all have our little bad habits that are magnified once we start spending all our time with someone. Things like:

  • not putting the toilet seat back down when you finish using the loo.
  • not flushing after you finishing doing whatever business you choose to partake in in the loo.
  • farting in the presence of your partner. I know this one becomes inevitable after staying together for a long time BUT personally, it’s a no no.
  • not picking up after yourself.
  • not making the bed, in my world if you are the last one to leave the bed it’s your job to sure you make it, sounds fair to me.

Household Chores

This can be a real train smash if one of you is lazy.  You might end up feeling taken for granted because all the household chores will be on your list of things to do.  From experience I have concluded that everyone has something that they don’t mind doing housework wise and something they absolutely can’t stand!  For example, I don’t mind doing laundry, it’s the ironing part I can’t deal with.  I used to do all the laundry and once it was dry I would fold it and pack it away and iron as I go.  My partner found it absolutely ridiculous.  He believed once laundry was done it had to be ironed there and then. For the sake of peace and progress we split that chore and made sure I washed and he ironed, everyone is happy.  However, the other chores around the house were a real mission because he was lazy and I ended up doing everything else and resented him as each day passed by.

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Finances

I like saving for a rainy day.  I am that one person who probably has some money stashed away somewhere for emergencies.  I don’t believe in spending all my money and then worrying about how I am going to get to my next pay cheque.  My partner on the other hand loved blowing his money.  We would sit down, draw up a budget and agreed that come end of the month we would do a,b,c,d.  You don’t know what frustration is until you get home and find out that your partner has bought a $50 shirt that wasn’t a part of the budget and now you have to forgo important things that month.  It’s at that point that you realise that people clearly have different priorities.  Don’t get me wrong, getting yourself new things is all fine and dandy but when you have talked about things beforehand it would be important to communicate such decisions for the sake of peace and progress.

Sex

This blog would be incomplete without mentioning  sex.  Trust me when I tell you, the sex will be amazing.  Well, it was for me.  Sex at any time of day, no need to send a message asking “Sweetiepie how long are you going to take to get here?” when you are feeling hot and bothered because you have your partner with you.  You can explore, experiment and get enough the orgasms because there is no rush to go anywhere.  BUT there is obviously a big but in this; when things are not going well between a couple especially due to some of the issues I have mentioned above sex might not even happen.  Couples that are usually unhappy end up not having sex and just become room mates who happen to share a bed.  Thankfully we didn’t experience this because maybe we were just sex addicts (if sex saved relationships we would probably still be together) but for some I have heard that you can go a pretty long time without sex when your partner is mad at you.

Depression

This is an actual thing!  When you stay with someone chances of feeling depressed are actually very high especially when things are not going well between the two of you.  I remember we used to have cases where after a verbal fight he would walk out of the house and not come back.  Sometimes he would go for a whole weekend and I would be worried sick to my stomach not knowing if him walking away meant we had broken up, if he was alive, if he still wanted to talk to me…I had a million questions going through my head and him not picking up my calls or replying my messages made me all the more miserable.  I ended up feeling depressed and even after he came back and we talked things through in my heart I was never settled because I kept thinking one day he is going to walk away and never come back.  I had no hold on him, after all we were cohabiting and not legally married…

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To be honest, if you are thinking of cohabiting I say give it a try knowing that it might actually work out for you and if marriage is the end goal for both of you it might happen.  They say compromise is key right?  If you find that special someone you can gladly compromise then by all means don’t let my experience stop you.

Personally I won’t try it again, I have crossed out my bucket list in that department.  It was beautiful while it lasted but I love my space too much to have anyone else all up in it.  All that freedom to just be myself and do absolutely nothing all day in peace is priceless.  Then again I can’t exactly be alone for the rest of my life it would be nice to have someone to share all my highs and lows.  What would probably work would be staying in different apartments in the same building but we are still a couple(such wishful thinking!)or just getting married and buying a big house where you can always retreat to a different room when you are feeling upset and reconcile when you have cooled down…

My favourite ladies discussed the cohabiting topic sometime this year on the talk show, The Real and you should watch it and hear out their thoughts on the subject matter. 

After all is said and done, what matters the most is how you feel about each other and how far you are willing to go to make your relationship work.  Do what works for you and for the betterment of your living arrangement because at the end of the day what’s important is your happiness.  When you decide to stay with your partner get in it with open eyes and an open heart.

Today is Day 28 of the #30DayAfriBlogger Challenge we are supposed to state ONLY the advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting but did you see just how overzealous I got??!!

Have you been in a cohabiting scenario before.  How did it work for you?  Are you still together with your cohabiting partner?  Are there any tips you would want to share on how to make living together more manageable?  Are you pro or anti cohabiting?

©MaKupsy 2016

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Day 13: I Will Marry When I Want

When are you getting married?

The next person who asks me when I am getting married is going to get stone cold silence from me.  I swear I get asked this question at least once a week and it annoys the heck out of me! What is wrong with people?  Can’t a woman just enjoy her life without always being asked about her marital status update?  You would think trying to explain why you are not married yet will stop people from asking but no, you’re wrong, they keep coming back to ask you the same damn thing every single time.  What about asking me how I am doing, how my dreams and aspirations are going, something, anything, just not about marriage.  You know what amuses me the most?  The fact that people think that husbands are found in supermarkets.  Like you just waltz into Pick n Pay, go through the “Husband shelf” and voila, you have yourself a husband!  Or maybe there’s a dial-a-husband application that I’m not aware of that delivers husbands to your doorstep?  It doesn’t work like that people, this sh*t is complicated.

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Shingi & Tonde

While we’re on the marriage subject I just want to say congratulations to my favourite couple above whose pictures I can’t help but use each time I write about all things lovey dovey.  They got married recently and I am absolutely happy for them and yes they are responsible for the beautiful images in today’s post.

Back to the subject at hand.  I for one have mixed feelings when it comes to marriage.  One moment I am super anti marriage telling myself I don’t need anyone I have been doing this life thing on my own for all these years why in the world would I need someone to come and turn my perfectly defined life upside down?  Then some days I’m thinking am I really going to die alone Oh My Goodness who will take care of me?  If I’m very honest with myself though I think marriage would be a great idea provided I meet the right candidate.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of men out there but how many of them are the right match for me?  Marriage is a lifetime decision and if I’m going to choose that path it is going to be with someone who will want the same thing.  I’m a mother and this whole let’s date for fun and see how it goes thing doesn’t cut it for me.  I have another human being to consider and if I choose to get married the person in question will play a very important role in my daughter’s life.  Which begs the question, how many men out there are willing to date and marry a woman who already has a child in tow?  Let me see, probably 5 in the whole wide world.  Let’s laugh together shall we?  Like I said it’s complicated!

To everyone who keeps asking me when I’m getting married please take a seat.  As and when the time is right it shall happen.  You won’t hear the end of it, you will deactivate your social media accounts, I will be telling you about “my husband” at every given opportunity and we will be inseparable it will make you sick to your stomach.  We will love each other fearlessly and spend the rest of our natural lives together because once we get married there is no turning back, we will be in it for life.  For now allow me to take my time and wait for my King to come and collect his Queen who is working on becoming a better person one day at a time.

I remember having a conversation about relationships with Shingi not so long ago.  She shared some tips on what has worked for her relationship in the past 3 years.  We were meant to write up a thread on Twitter but we never got time to do so.  Today is your lucky day because I have the tips right here with me;

1. Don’t just get into a relationship, know what you want out of a relationship.

2. Get to know him or her first. This is where long distance relationships are a plus. They allow you to know a person a bit before you meet. I’m not saying all long distance relationships work out but some have.

3. Friendship is important, that’s something that keeps things going in seasons when romantic feels face a storm.

4. Sharing the same belief is critical as it lays a foundation in your relationship.

5. Know how to SHOW him how you feel without saying it and he should also know how to SHOW you too. Emphasis on Love language!

6. Meaningful relationships are not secretive and should not be a secret. Meaningful relationships have witnesses and that is why people invite guests to witness their marriage.

7. A relationship that is long term will involve friends & family. Know this!

8. Believe in each other and learn to function as a team. Bonds grow stronger when you face challenges together.

9. Share a vision (exactly what you want, put it out there). This sets direction on how to build a life together. Cementing the foundation.

10. Talk to each other, it might sound funny but must couple can’t they talk over each other. Communication is key. 🔑🔑🔑

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Photo Credit: Shingi (@lana_chik)  Twitter

*Disclaimer* Each couple is responsible for their own relationship’s success and those tips might not work for everyone.

I have written about my thoughts on marriage in the past and some of the posts have been controversial as always.

I Will Marry For Money

I Have A Confession

Marriage Behind Closed Doors

What is that ONE question that people keep asking you that pisses you off?  Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

 

Women Need Help Too!

I have a serious bone to chew with whoever comes up with some of these things.  Don’t get me wrong I am all for taking care of your other half but lately I have been wondering.  Who takes care of the woman once a couple gets married?  Our culture expects the woman to bend and break for her husband.  From cooking, cleaning, making sure the house is in order, being intimate with him as many times as she can take it, taking care of the children, showing up for funerals, family functions, taking in in-laws…the list is endless.  In all this you are bound to ask yourself what the man will be doing in this equation.  The answer is easy really.  He will be sitting in front of the TV watching who knows what and relaxing all day long.  Basically the man does nothing.  Before you get all worked up it’s obvious its not ALL MEN who are like that, but in our culture most men are.

I am going to keep this post as short as possible so that it doesn’t turn into a man bashing rant.  What I would like to know is who is taking care of the woman in all this?  After a long days work she is expected to get home, prepare supper, make sure the children have done their homework and a whole list of other things married people do.  Would it kill the husband to actually cook once in a while if he got home before the wife?  If he isn’t much of a cook maybe pile up the dishes nicely, boil the meat, chops onions and tomatoes (do something) so that when the wife gets home she can start from somewhere and not feel like a slave who has to wait hand and foot for her husband.  Maybe my way of thinking is crazy but it would make the world a better place if people worked as a team.  Heck, women get tired too they are not energizer bunnies who just keep going and going.

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Image from Google

I know a man who is reading this and saying to himself “But I pay all the bills around the house and she doesn’t have to worry about the financial side of things”  Well yes, thank you for doing a great job mister, but it’s not always about the money.  It’s about the small things that make a woman feel a whole lot more appreciated for everything she does.

Our culture has a long way to go…  If by any chance a man is seen by his friends or relatives helping around the house (there are very few of these by the way) he is considered weak and chances are his wife fed him a love potion so that he can do as she pleases with him.  Wrong thinking right there.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing tasks.  It actually makes for a better home and chances of getting more sex because “I am tired” won’t be featuring in the wife’s’ list of excuses.

Teamwork people teamwork!

But then again, I’m not married, what would I know about the ins and outs of a marriage?  It wouldn’t hurt to consider it though, I am sure your wife would be happy to see you do something to make tasks around the house a little easier.

What are your honest thoughts on this subject?  I know not everyone will agree with my line of thinking so I would love to hear from you.

©MaKupsy 2017

Marriage Is A Journey

Marriage is a journey.  I know this because I read it on the news feed of one of my favourite couples on Facebook.  I randomly stalk their page and each time I do so there is always something inspirational and heartwarming.  Today this is what I bumped into.

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Cynthia & Her Husband Sean

Marriage is like buying a second hand car. What attracted you to it was probably the shiny paint, the interior, the sound system etc, and it felt like a “new car” to you.
You then bought the car , entered into a relationship with it to start your own car journey experience. Your journey with the “new car” was an adventure as you began finding out things you never knew existed! 


You set off to go on your journey which is 1500 miles away, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the journey will be worth it! A third into your journey you hear a weird sound and you smell  something that wasn’t there before you can’t put your finger on it but you know something isn’t right!


You’re at a strange place with a now strange car and you’re faced with a dilemma!
1. Do you get the car checked out, fixed so you can continue on your journey? Or…..
2. Do you accept it as a loss, abort the journey forfeit your destination and find your way back to where you started? 


Marriage is a journey…


It’s an adventure, quite exciting and exhilarating at the beginning, but then the going will get tough at some point, you begin to see characteristics you never knew existed, you get disappointed, you feel let down, angry  feel like throwing in the towel.  You feel like it’s easier to just get a brand new car, but even those break down at some point too, so what will happen then??


You get to know your car  you get it fixed, you continue with the journey, it will be an experience, your own adventure, embrace it, focus on your destination!! It’ll be worth it.
Marriage is not for quitters, neither is it for the faint hearted!

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Cynthia is a Gym Addict and you can find her on Instagram where she always posts some mouth watering food and you can also find her on Facebook ,where she shares her fitness workouts.

Are you married?  If yes, what are some of the marriage nuggets you have to share?  Feel free to drop your thoughts in the comments section.

©MaKupsy 2017

Would You Take Your Ex Back?

Yes, I am guilty of getting back with one okay maybe two ex boyfriends in the past with the hope that things will work out and we will live happily ever after.  However, over time I have come to the conclusion that it might not be the best for me, I should simply let bygones be bygones and here are my reasons why;

  • The same things we argued about before we broke up were the same reasons we fought over after getting back together.
  • People don’t change, we broke up with a certain ex because he wasn’t faithful, and after trying again he was still unfaithful.
  • I value my health and in this day and age of HIV/Aids one can’t be taking risks on their health.  You don’t know where your ex has been and what they have been up to the time you were apart and taking them back might just risk your health.
  • Someone takes advantage of you the moment they realise you keep taking them back even after they have hurt you.
  • Physical abuse is not a pleasant experience and I will never again be associated with anyone who puts his hands on me.  Not only is it physically damaging it also affects you emotionally.
  • I don’t want them thinking they have a hold on me!
  • There is a high chance you will break up again anyway.

But wait… it has worked out pretty well for other people, I just have been the unfortunate one.  Those who have rekindled their love after breaking up share these thoughts:

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Photo Credit: Luwy Kay(Facebook) & her boyfriend, are they just not adorable!! 🙂

We were both financially unstable and separated by distance.  We decided to break up and when we were both in the same country we would give our love another try and years later we got married and have a beautiful baby together.

 

The love and connection we felt for each other was stronger than anything we had felt before and close to 20 years later we got back together and started a family.

 

He wanted to get married, I wanted to focus on my career.  We wanted different things and decided to break up.  After I finished University I bumped into him at the Mall and we got back to talking.  We will be moving in to an apartment we chose together a few months ago. 🙂

You know what they say about life?  It sure is full of surprises!  What might not work for you will work wonders for the next person.  Some people got their happy ending and well, the rest of us are on that  “do not let an ex be the reason you don’t move on and find happiness and true love” tip!  In my opinion once you say your goodbyes that must be enough to let you know that chapter of your life is closed.

Let’s talk about taking back your ex lover.  Have you tried it before?  How did that work out for you?

©MaKupsy 2017

Chasing Change : Archie

Everyone always seems to have a really cool fitness journey about how they were out to overcome some immense trials in their life and they took to fitness. Mine is a lot more simple, some may even think it silly but it has driven me. A lot has changed in a little under a year, so many lessons gained and now I am chasing a huge goal. I’m positive I can make it happen and I have already started putting in the work.

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I didn’t start running because I had grown grossly obese or because a BMI calculator on my smartphone classified me as obese. It also had absolutely nothing to do with a doctor telling me I would be dead in a year if I didn’t shape up. For me, don’t laugh, but the story involves AliExpress and Super Mario. Quite the unlikely pair to drive someone to fitness.  I bought two Super Mario themed t-shirts from China and when they came only one of them  would fit and even then it was a really tight fit with my potbelly sticking out like a sore thumb. This would have been the perfect time to use that “Ha, Chinese cuts are always smaller” line but I knew the truth.

I realised I was turning into my fellow millennials.  The beer drinking, skinny jeans wearing, tight t-shirt and three-months-pregnant-and-in-denial looking millennial. I’m talking about the guys, parked at Fife avenue Shopping Centre on a Friday without a care in the world. I started wearing a shirt to work and it would become uncomfortably tight after lunch. Whenever I bumped into old friends they automatically assumed I was now married. Why is that people see a potbelly and assume you are married? Are potbellies so unattractive that you must be married to let yourself get one because that person is stuck with you for better or worse?  I felt like I was in a borrowed body so I had to do something about it.

Whenever I bumped into old friends they automatically assumed I was now married. Why is that people see a potbelly and assume you are married? Are potbellies so unattractive that you must be married to let yourself get one because that person is stuck with you for better or worse?

Penny-Pinching me was not willing to give a gym USD50 to run around their premises looked to YouTube. I started with the dance fitness type videos and slowly graduated into cardio but I did not feel any change. I felt I needed to do more if I really wanted this. That is when I started running. Honestly, in the beginning it was more walking than anything else.

For three weeks consistently I ran one kilometre and walked two.  I would be out of breath, feet burning, t-shirt drenched in sweat but if felt amazing. Soon I could run two, then the full three. It was a great feeling. I tried to run consistently but it was hard especially with no one to talk to, my best friend was slacking off; running once a week and that wasn’t doing me any good. It wasn’t easy doing it by myself.

As fate would have it (I’ve always wanted to write that), said best friend soon had this girl behind the #RunWithFitnesBae hashtag on his podcast. Listening to her journey and then getting to go to one of the Fitness In The Park sessions was great. That is how I met MaKupsy at the meet itself,  I was around people chasing the same thing. Different reasons, different levels of intensity but the same mission and it was good. Later joining the WhatsApp group with these very same people was even more helpful than I initially thought it would be. Setting a goal by yourself is one thing, but when you share it with friends and you are accountable to each other it’s so much better. Even just seeing your friends running will get you out of any slacking mindset!

Time moves so fast when you’re running. It’s been several months now and I have reached a point where I run 5K every weekday morning. Now I have found a new challenge: The Victoria Falls Marathon. I recently learnt there was a chance to go to the the marathon on the company’s account but first I would have to be part of the the 5 with the longest distances in a ten day competition. It’s not over yet, it has me running twice daily now and it’s not easy. I’m already planning the training I will do to ensure I can at least run the half marathon; 21K is a lot and there better be an ambulance at the end of it. The plan is to run the whole 21K non stop.

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The biggest key is the ‘family’ I share my progress with daily. Now I have people sending me messages when I don’t post asking me what happened. It’s very difficult to slack when it’s like that. Maybe I just like running so much I’ll take any reason to do it.

I have learnt a few lessons on this journey so far:

  • That a skipping rope can make you feel like hanging yourself is easier than using it for a work out.
  • I have learnt that the Avenues of Harare are small you can easily run out of places to run.
  • Joggers are not the target market for prostitutes.
  • Shoes are important, The wrong type and you are screwed!
  • Most of all I have learnt that you should share your journey. Share your progress. You never know who will be inspired by your drive. That’s why I like what MaKupsy has done, everything from the story in her journey itself to the platform she has created for all of us to come and share both the great and no so great parts of this never ending fitness journey.

The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you have come!

by Archie Moyo

The Single Independent Mother

I have some saving tips from a single mother who is in her 40’s.  I think everyone will benefit from this post and I took this pretty seriously because she clearly has more years experience on raising a child single-handedly.  Take out your pen and paper…

  1. Cut your hair, imagine the amount of money you are spending on hairdos that you could be saving for better use for you and your child.
  2. Live within your means.
  3. Do not compare yourself with people who are married, they have a double income you only have one, stay in your lane.
  4. Save some money each month, it doesn’t matter how little, trust me it will go a long way.
  5. Do not buy on credit, especially clothes, save to pay everything with cash.
  6. Take a lunchbox to work with healthy home made meals or sandwiches.
  7. Make friends with women in a similar situation who understand your struggles better.
  8. Do what works for you, do not try to please anyone.
  9. Set targets for yourself and make sure you reach them, it might take time but eventually you will get there.
  10. Learn how to sew, simple things like replacing a button and hemming your pants will go a long way for your pocket.

If you live by most of these rules you might actually get round to going for that holiday you have been dying for!

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Photo Credit : @summer_rose_ (Instagram)

©MaKupsy 2017

Speak Things Into Existence

Believe me when I tell you that the universe pays attention when you speak.  Many moons ago I wished for a tall, good looking man who dressed up nice and would shower me with flowers; I have a serious weakness for them it’s insane.  I used to tell my colleagues almost everyday how my handsome prince would come for me and guess what, months down the line I was in a relationship with a guy who fit those specifications to a tee.   Like how was that even possible?

I remember this one time I tagged along when my friend when she was going to court.  I was heavily pregnant at the time and when I saw the women standing in line for Child Maintenance issues I said; “One day I will be standing in line too given the drama we are always going through with the father of my child”.  Again I tell you, the universe pays attention, I was in that exact same line 5 years later going through the most.  I spoke this into existence and I don’t even know why I was surprised when it actually happened.

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image from Pinterest

Thankfully, there are some pretty good things that have happened.  The one time I was going through pictures on the internet and wishing for a holiday.  Something about the Christmas holiday makes me feel like travelling.  I had my eyes on Cape Town and told myself it was going to happen and it did!  My sister is the best for making it happen and you should find yourself a sister just like her!

From my experience when it comes to self talk, the more positive things you say to yourself the better your experience outcomes.  When I started my fitness journey I was outspoken; most people didn’t understand how a “big” woman could have so much self love but they were never ready for the extra confidence that would come once I lost the weight.   I used to go for my runs without music just to have a chance to speak to myself and encourage myself throughout the run.  I would tell myself things like:

  • You’ve got this, just one more kilometer to go
  • Wait till you do your weigh in tomorrow and see how much work you have put in
  •  They are not ready for the after run photo I am going to post on Instagram
  • Who would have thought I would ever run 10K
  • The way I am smashing that cellulite on my thighs right now though
  • Girl you are on fire did you hear that pace on the voice over!

You see, all that self talk got me to push myself and my body to the limit.  Imagine if I had been telling myself negative things.  This body would have never come to life, it’s a pity I can’t show it to you, it’s still illegal to walk around naked this part of the world.

I have a whole list of other positive things that I have asked the universe to grant me after I realised she actually pays attention.  No more random negative thoughts because I certainly don’t want to end up in situations I will dearly regret.  Lately I ask for good health, success, financial security, a whole Land Rover Discovery (in red of course), to be the first Nike Woman in Zimbabwe and a rich husband.  Speak things into existence people!!

In whatever you do, be good to yourself.  Speak of all the beautiful things about yourself and those around you and the universe will also respond positively.

What are some of the things you speak into existence?  Have any of them come to life, care to share?

©MaKupsy 2017

Desperate Housewives

When everyone was all excited about the television series Desperate Housewives I joined in but only got to watch the first two seasons because I never really had time to sit down and watch it.  A few weeks ago my friend brought me back to the series and gave me the whole 8 seasons of it and I have been hooked ever since.  I am currently watching Season 6 and the first episode left me feeling a lot of different things.  Here’s the thing.

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Image from Google

If you go back to season 5 Mike had moved in with Catherine and they seemed happy.  Well, Catherine mostly did because she hadn’t been in a relationship in a while and was happy to finally have someone in her life.  Mike seemed distant and still in love with his ex wife Susan. (But apparently they had both “moved on”) Catherine obviously didn’t see that Mike wasn’t head over heels for her because she was in a love bubble of her own.  I think it was brave of Catherine to ask Mike if he was ever going to marry her because Mike told her the truth that he didn’t know.  And you know that for most women we choose to not pay attention to what a man says.  He actually told her the truth but we always find a way of hoping somehow he will change his mind because we are just programmed like that I guess.  The other issue I have with Mike is that he will go above and beyond for Susan just to make her happy but clearly won’t do much for Catherine.  I can safely say Catherine gets half baked love from Mike but Susan on the other hand…There are real life cases where you date a guy and he treats you like crap but then dates the next woman and treats her like a queen and you wonder what the fuck is that all about?  So then;the series continues and a whole lot of things happen but this is the part that really got to me when I watched episode one of season 6.

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Mike just went on to marry Susan and left Catherine out in the cold.  Okay fine, maybe Catherine made a not so wise decision by hooking up with someone she knew still had unresolved issues but give her a break, you can’t exactly choose who you fall in love with, or can you?  Why does Susan always get what she wants though?  That again is not fair!  I was really sad on Catherine’s behalf.  How do women end up in situations like this though?  How do we just feel the need to fall for the emotionally unavailable guy?  Do we not see the signs?  And as for Mike, how do you just drop Catherine like a hot potato and get back to your ex wife (Susand) and forget about all the promises you made to Catherine?  Didn’t she at least mean something to you?  Does this mean she doesn’t have feelings too or she should just get over it and move on.  Mind you she stays right across the street and will get to witness everything the pair gets up to.  Man, the world is a cold ass place…

I should clearly stop over analysing things, it’s just a series!!

©MaKupsy 2017

I Will Marry For Money

Given two choices will you marry for money or will you marry for love? 

I choose money!

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Image from Pinterest

I see you making a face and saying to yourself, “I don’t believe she just made that her blog title!”  Believe it or not that’s how I feel and I am not changing my mind anytime soon.  You see; growing up I read one too many story books and watched too many Disney Princess cartoons that left me feeling like love was supposed to be all rosy.  There have been hardly any happy endings for me in the relationship department thanks to believing that fairy tales actually translated to real life stories. I made a decision a few years back that if I do decide to get married I am getting hitched to a rich man and I don’t care what anyone else thinks!  I am not trying to have a $2 wedding, if it’s going to happen it’s going to be HUGE!

The great thing about life is that you get to learn from your past mistakes.  Thanks to them I know that even though love is such a beautiful feeling it is not enough.  Love will not feed me or put a roof over my head.  Love usually fades after a few months or years for some but guess what, money if used wisely will be forever (read Janet Jackson divorce story here)  I don’t know about the rest of the women but I will speak for myself when I say if I am going to be with someone I need to feel secure.  I want to know that if I stopped working today my husband will not let me want for anything.  I can still go on lavish trips, go on my shopping sprees, those spa dates will keep coming and above all else my daughter will continue going to that good school we would have enrolled her in because well, I have a rich husband.

Money makes the world go round.

I love watching those historical series like Reign.  They constantly remind me that back in the day people married for power.  Parents made sure that their daughters got married to the “right” family so that they too would benefit from that union.  Love was not something that mattered, most times they were told they would grow to love that person.  Which usually happens anyway, what’s not to love about someone who makes sure you are well taken care of?  So if it worked for them back then, trust me it still works now.

I am not one of those women who believes in 50-50 relationships.  I believe that the man is the head of the house and he should go out there and make that paper.  I think I am a 70-30 kind of woman actually.  Let the man do the leading please and allow me to enjoy being a woman in the background.

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I like beautiful things.  I love to be pampered and spoiled rotten and you can just imagine how extremely happy I will be if I married a rich husband.  I would want to have just one more child if all goes according to plan and trust me I won’t be having that child with anyone who will give me headaches.  Let the headache be about which car I will be driving to work today thank you very much.

Two things will happen if the rich husband doesn’t come along.  Firstly, I am working towards being a rich woman myself so that when he does eventually come we will build a whole empire!  Secondly, If he doesn’t come I will stay unmarried with all my money and enjoy every dime of it.

You guys can do this marry for love thing while I chill and wait for that rich husband to someday sweep me off my feet while working hard towards getting my own money.  If anyone tells you that I got married, best believe that rich husband came my way.

©MaKupsy 2017