3 Biggest Lessons Having A Child Out Of Wedlock Will Teach You

My daughter is turning 9 this year, it’s astonishing how time has flown by so fast. It feels like a few sleeps ago we were in a minibus on our way to the clinic for her immunisation shot while she danced on my lap and marveled at the outside world through the minibus window. She has always been such a happy child; so full of life and her sunny personality has blossomed throughout the years. With everything that has happened throughout the years, she’s the main reason I push myself to do and be better.

single mothers MaKupsy

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In our African culture, having a child out of wedlock is considered taboo no matter how old you are when this happens. You’d think people have moved with the times but when it comes to tradition some things still hold water. I’ve had friends and family share some of their lessons with me but it occurred to me that I never shared my lessons of having a child out of wedlock. There are plenty of them but because I like to keep things short and sweet I’ll only share three with you.

1. Protect Yourself

If you have no plans of going through an unplanned pregnancy then, by all means, get yourself on a contraceptive method! Unprotected sex comes with consequences. You can’t be having sex every other day with no protection in sight and assuming you won’t get pregnant. The emergency contraceptive can only do so much, ask me, I used to take it and still ended up pregnant. I’d encourage you to go to the clinic with your partner to both figure out which method you can try. Get to know the side effects as well. Most come with weight gain but I’d rather deal with finding ways to lose weight instead of trying to raise USD2000+/- for maternity fees. Be proactive ladies, at the end of the day, you’re the one who will have to carry a child for 9 whole months.

2. People Will Be Disappointed 

They might not say it to you in black and white but you will feel it. Everyone wants the best for their child. In our culture, it seems the biggest achievement for a woman is to get married, have a grand white wedding, bear strong healthy babies preferably boys for your husband and live happily ever after. Now imagine not delivering any of the things I just mentioned… I had a time I felt lacking because I didn’t have a big wedding band to show the world. It took a long time for me to accept that not everyone is supposed to get married and that’s okay. We all have our different paths and all for a good reason.

MaKupsy

3. Your Partner Will Move On

Just when you think you’re having your life back on track you’ll hear the news that your partner has moved on. You thought putting your life back together one piece at a time with a baby on board was easy? This news will devastate you whether you still feel something for your partner or not. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days after receiving this news. I felt that no one else could ever love me.

The stigma towards single mothers in Zimbabwe is real and after accepting that there was no hope for the father of my child and I; I couldn’t even imagine how anyone would want to pair themselves up with someone who had a child.

relationships MaKupsy

Image from Pinterest

Fast forward to present day and I could write a book about how the universe granted my wishes. I have a partner who adores my daughter and I. He does everything in his power to make sure we’re happy and comfortable. I couldn’t ask for more.

In my 8 years of motherhood, I’ve come to accept that nothing stays the same. You might be going through a very tough time right now but a few years from now you’re going to look back and laugh at what you’re currently crying about.

If you’re not yet a mother take a chapter of this lesson from my life, at least you’ll be a step ahead and not have to repeat my mistakes.

Are you a mother? What are some of the lessons you have learnt so far?

©MaKupsy 2020

It Ain’t Where I’ve Been But Where I’m About To Go

I’m a mother.  The father of my child and I separated a few years ago.  I was bitter, heartbroken and mad at the world for the longest time.  I felt like the world owed me something for all the pain I was going through.  It took me a whole 5 years to finally get out of that zone.

One morning I woke up and asked myself, what would happen if something were to happen to the father of my child and I had to look after her on my own?  Would I remain bitter or would I have to gather myself up and show up for my one and only daughter?  I chose the latter.  I stopped sending him never ending text messages wishing him ill, I stopped crying myself to sleep every other night, I stopped complaining about how I hated my job, I stopped speaking negative things into my life and chose to start working on myself one day at a time.  I realised it was time to get my shit in order and the moment I made that decision and started taking action; my life has been full.

This video stirred so many emotions within me.  It brought back flash backs of some of the things I’ve gone through in the past but still came out stronger and wiser.  It will take some of your time to watch this but every single minute will be worth it, I promise.

These are some of the lessons I learnt from the video:

  • Success leaves clues, we’re just not picking them up.
  • Go through every toxic behaviour in your life and start unlearning bad habits.
  • My job is to like myself everyday.
  • You can’t take everyone with you on your transformation journey.
  • It takes more than one thing to change your life, it takes EVERYTHING.

I would like to know what lessons you learnt from watching this video?  Please share this post with as many people as you can, it will change a life.

©MaKupsy 2020

Marriage, The Be-All And End-All Of Life

“Do you want to get married?”  My mother asked me this random question a few weeks ago when I’d gone home for the weekend. I replied her with an honest answer that left her puzzled.  “I don’t know mhamha.” 

Wedding MaKupsy

This is the shortest blog post you’ll ever read from me. I no longer have much to say about marriage. I’m neither here nor there. Maybe when someone shares their experience that comes with a happy ending I might just consider it.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts on marriage?

©MaKupsy 2020

My Experience With Snooping Through His Phone

I learnt the hard way; snooping through your partners’ is never a good idea.  For the couples who respect each other’s space, congratulations to you guys, you are doing this relationship thing right.

snooping through his phone MaKupsy

A quick poll before we get started.

 

I have never been one of those people who want to poke my nose in other people’s business but once you start dating a guy who leaves you wondering where you stand with him or what he has been up to believe me the curiosity will kick in and you will go through his phone like its nothing!  It becomes a very destructive and addictive habit though so if you decide to go that path be prepared to never have peace.

I have had some pretty heart wrenching encounters in the past and that just taught me a lesson (for that day only) to stay away from your partner’s phone.  For those who have always wanted to go through his phone and wondered when best to do it;

  • try when he is dead drunk,
  • when he is asleep or
  • the few seconds that he dashes to the loo.

Please be warned that you should do this at your own risk as you might not be able to deal with whatever you find in his phone.

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Image from Google

I will list a few messages I bumped into in the past, I remember word for word for some of them but for others I have a rough idea what they read.  I will also include who had sent the messages; here goes:

  • I am not in love with her.  I am only staying with her because I feel sorry for her.  I want to be with you and I am going to do everything that I can to make that happen. (my then boyfriend)
  • How was the evening with the girl you hooked up with from church, did you tap that ass? (my then boyfriend’s close cousin)
  • You shouldn’t marry her.  If you marry her you will be making the biggest mistake of your life.  You ex was a better fit for you and if you let her go you will be doomed. (my then boyfriend’s best friend) 
  • Send me some of your nude photos. (my then boyfriend)
  • Please send me airtime, I am low on credit. (my then best friend asking my boyfriend without my knowledge)
  • She is so fat I don’t even know why I am dating her, you know I like slim women. (my then boyfriend)

I can only remember the very juicy messages and the ones that really got to me the rest were really nothing to go on about.  What did this experience teach me?

  1. Not everyone who smiles at you actually likes you.  Take that then boyfriend’s best friend for example.  This guy used to come to our place and I would cook lunch, supper, breakfast, you name it just to make sure he was comfortable and yet his ass didn’t even like me!  What a fucking asshole!  Once I knew that’s how he felt about me I ended those privileges, what a prick!
  2. Even your so called best friend can get up to something behind your back.  I couldn’t help but wonder what else she used to ask for…
  3. Do not date anyone who bashes your self esteem, yes, I used to be fat, but you pursued me knowing I was fat, at what point did you realise that I was actually not your type?
  4. His friends are not your friends.  Do not be fooled!

These random experiences made me promise myself that I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH SOMEONE’S PHONE.  You will die an emotional death after you discover things you were not prepared to deal with.  To make things worse you can not exactly ask about the messages because you would have breached someone’s privacy.  You have no right to be going through a phone that does not belong to you.  At the same time it helps you see where you stand with someone but it really isn’t advisable to do that.  I would say talk things through if you feel there is something that is bothering you.  And even if you do decide to continue going through your partner’s phone and they do find out that’s what you get up to, trust me they will find ways to hide things from you and you will never find a single grain of evidence.  Bottom line is, if your partner is cheating the truth always has a way of revealing itself…just sit tight and relax.

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Image from Google

The amusing thing about going through your partner’s phone is if you find out something that hurts you the first thing you tell yourself is that you are going to break up with them and leave.  Sadly, most people stay and complain and bore us to death about how their partner is cheating…As for me, I stuck around for a while(that puts me in the boring department) but eventually things got from bad to worse, hearts were broken, words were said, trust went flying out the window but yes, that is life, we get to experience all sorts of things before we decide to make changes.  And that’s how I ended up deciding I won’t ever go through my partners phone because nothing good has ever come of it.  Ideally it would be nice to go through your partner’s phone and find out they are planning a surprise party or a getaway weekend but how often does that happen???

I would like to find out from you if you have gone through the Private Investigation phase of wanting to know who your partner has been talking to.  If yes, what did you find and how did you deal with it?

©MaKupsy 2018

30 Things Women Want Men To Know

I was really trying to avoid blogging about anything concerning sex but I guess it was highly inevitable.  Today I am sharing those things most women wish men knew but simply don’t tell them.  My personal thoughts are points 1-10 and 30 and the rest of the points are from the women I asked.  Here’s hoping no one takes offence but maybe takes notes instead and make sex something both you and your partner enjoy.

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  1. It is not about the quantity but the quality of sex. Why are you trying to have 8 rounds of 2 minute sex??  One session of good sex is good enough and if you are doing things right and hitting the spot then by all means rest assured I am fine.
  2. Size does matter. For me that is, that motion for the ocean line doesn’t hold water.  I am a big girl, I like big things.
  3. Sex in the dark? NO, switch on the light please I want to see what’s going on.
  4. If you have to ask “how was it” you know the sex was lousy.
  5. Do no keep asking me how it was; you are not ready for the truth.
  6. Just because the last woman you slept with liked anal sex does not mean the next woman does. Ask before trying to sneak your dick  into my ass hole!
  7. I don’t fake orgasms, if I didn’t cum I didn’t cum, it is really that simple.
  8. Oral sex is a big turn on. Eat that pussy like it’s the cure for some life threatening disease!  Note I said EAT not small little licks!
  9. Do not bite the clitoris! Just because it is shaped like a jelly bean it does not mean it was made for biting.  That is a sensitive organ, be gentle.
  10. Don’t be lazy, put your back in it!
  11. Take off ALL your clothes. Why do you leave some clothes on? Socks, vest, take it off we want to see all your body parts.
  12. Screaming doesn’t mean we are enjoying it. It can mean one of three things. Maybe we just want to stroke your ego and make you think you are pumping us proper, we want you to stop or it’s actually painful. LOL
  13. We don’t always orgasm, but that’s okay. Do not make it a big deal because if you do we end up faking orgasms.
  14. Sex should not always be about a good fuck. Sometimes a woman wants some good old deep, delicious and slow love making.
  15. Change of scenery will definitely spice up the sex. The bedroom becomes boring. Sex in the shower anyone?30 sex tips MaKupsy.jpg
  16. We love surprises; introduce goodies like chocolate, strawberries, yoghurt, edible lingerie…
  17. Take a bath! Who do you want to climb on top of smelling like you were ploughing in a field all day?
  18. Sweat is a NO NO. Show up smelling divine and maybe a different cologne every now and again is a huge turn on.
  19. Do not be a selfish lover, wait for the woman to orgasm.
  20. Do not keep switching tempo. We do like variety BUT constantly changing tempo interrupts our flow. Worst time to switch is when we are about to orgasm.  Do you have any idea what it takes to finally get an orgasm??? Do not tempt us to punch you in the face during sex!
  21. If a woman is not in the mood for sex she is not. No amount of parading in the room naked will change her mind.
  22. Foreplay is more than just sticking your fingers up her pussy.
  23. Enjoying sex does not make me a freak.
  24. Sex is meant to be fun.
  25. If you expect to get head you better wash up your dick properly!
  26. Women probably love sex more than men but our society has raised us in a way where showing that labels you a loose woman.
  27. Most women are shy to initiate sex but in her mind she has ripped off your clothes and done all sorts of unimaginable things!
  28. Women are horniest when they are on their period. Some actually don’t mind sex during that time of the month.
  29. You don’t know women like that. Just because your friend told you his woman liked this, it doesn’t mean I will like it.
  30. TALK, TALK, TALK! You must communicate during sex. That way you both say what you want.  Laughing is even welcome when things go wrong.  That’s the whole point of sex, to have a good time.  Give specifics and help each other to enjoy amazing sex!

*Side Note – Remember to practice safe sex.  If you have sex without any form of contraception, then you may be at risk of a pregnancy (as well as a sexually transmitted infections).

My friend uBu has a Podcast that you should listen into.  In this episode they talked about women who fake orgasms to keep their man happy.  Like who would do something crazy like that?

MaKupsy 2019

I Have A Confession…

I never wanted to get married.

You know how girls get all excited from a very young age and plan their entire wedding from the wedding colour theme to the bridesmaids dresses and mostly the dress she will wear on her wedding day?  I wasn’t one of those girls.  All I ever wanted to be when I was all grown up was travel the world and be in some choreography related form of work. I tried looking for one of my old dream collage’s but I couldn’t locate it because it is probably somewhere at my parent’s house plus I am not a fan of clutter so I definitely wouldn’t find it at my place. The point of it was to show you just how back then it was not something I consumed myself with; this marriage thing.

Image from Pinterest

So what changed you ask?  Because if you have read my blogs you know there is a post I mentioned that there was a time when all I ever wanted was to get married.  Well, circumstances changed.  I got pregnant.

Initially I actually remember telling the father of my child that I was not ready for marriage and he shared the same sentiments and we were actually fine with the arrangement.  Arrangements like that unfortunately don’t sit very well with our society especially if you are actually living together.  Months into our pregnancy family intervened and told us we were disrespecting our families and we had to get married.  I easily bought into the idea because I obviously didn’t want to bring any further “shame” to my family but the father of my child stood his ground and declared he would never marry in this lifetime.  (Guess who got married in just under six months after separating).

It was a really complicated phase of my life.  I remember days I was at work; visibly pregnant and my colleagues asking how my “husband” was.  I had to play along because the thought of telling them that we were just staying together would probably shock the lights out of them and have them lecture me on how he was “using me” if he didn’t pay lobola for me.  I remember feeling scared  at the thought of us ever breaking up because I didn’t know how I would tell people that I was a single mother.  Now that was my biggest fear!  In my head being a single mother was the most unforgivable offence in society’s eyes because their judging eyes would tell you that you had “failed to keep a man.”  That was just fucked up!

However, this all taught me a few things.

  1. If you genuinely do not want to do something DO NOT DO IT!  I ended up wanting to get married only because that’s what family had suggested even though I didn’t even want it.
  2. Marriage should be for parties who BOTH want the same thing because the moment you are on different paths it will be a disaster.
  3. Marriage has been idolized so much in our society.  It’s so bad that once a woman reaches a certain age without getting married people start talking and giving her side eyes as if they even know what she wants out of life.  This idolization has lead to many women, some that I know only getting married so that people can get off their backs.
  4. Not everyone is going to get married, have a white wedding and walk down the isle in a white puffy dress and society needs to understand that.
  5. Even if you don’t get married nothing is wrong with you, it simply means it was either not meant for you or your time hasn’t come just as yet and perhaps you do not want to get married at all and that should not be anyone’s business.
  6. Know the reasons WHY you want to get married.  Don’t just dive in head first without even trying to understand the first thing about what marriage is all about.  Too many television watching going on and hoping once you get in it everything will be just like the movies.
  7. Love yourself enough to know that even if you don’t do things right the first time you can always get up and start afresh, every single day is a chance to rewrite your story.  I am a single mother and I am proud to be a mother to a beautiful little girl who adores me.  Raising a child on my own does not make me any less of a woman, in fact; it has made me stronger, wiser and more responsible than I could have ever imagined.
  8. Screw society and it’s standards.  Live your best life!

And to answer the question that is probably going through your mind right about now, would I want to get married?  As it stands; yes, I would want to get married but for all the reasons I know are right for me and this will be a story for another blog post; BUT please note that if it doesn’t happen my world won’t come crashing down because I am happy with the person I am on my own and getting married for me would be a bonus NOT a life saver.

For now I am going to go about being happy, observing what this life is all about and taking part in it with full force no matter what my marital status.  Happy hormones live here!!!!

©MaKupsy 2019

Sex On The First Date

First dates are designed to produce a number of relationship outcomes. (e.g. sexual partner, friendship, short-term romantic relationship, or life partnership.) – Wikipedia

I don’t know about you but I know that sex is a pretty enjoyable experience.  Without it the world would probably be one very boring place!  A lot of people are not comfortable talking about sex, which is very much okay because we are different but unfortunately for you I love to go on and on about it as and when.  Today I want to share my thoughts on having sex on the first date.  It comes with a lot of controversy of course but look, dating as described above is a process that yields different outcomes so having sex or not largely depends on the individuals involved.

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Image From Pinterest

 

First things first, you have to decide if you want to establish why you want to date.  With that out of the way your first date won’t be too awkward.  Below are some of the reasons why you should totally have sex on the first date.

  • Life is short!  Do you have any idea how you can go for weeks, months or even years without getting laid and here you are trying to deprive your lady bits of such pleasures?
  • If the chemistry is there there’s really no need to hold out on him, be a go getter!  Let’s just dive straight into dessert, who has time for the main meal, right?
  • You are confident that this is what you really want and you won’t start regretting it afterwards.
  • The earlier you have sex the better to save yourself time.  You might choose to wait for months only to be disappointed that time you have already caught feelings and now you end up staying with that person for all the wrong reasons!
  • Whatever you do just make sure you get yourself a shattering orgasm and not leave yourself unsatisfied.  Do you have any idea how lovely those sex hormones feel, not forgetting the after sex glow, you will be smiling for days to come.

However, I do understand that a lot of people, women especially have some reservations when it comes to having sex on the first date.  These are some of the reasons why having sex on the first date might not be a very bright idea.

Image from Pinterest

  • You probably don’t know enough about someone to let them into such an intimate part of your life.  Are you ready to deal with the demons that come with them?
  • Your partner might judge you for being too forward.
  • Say goodbye to your judgement.  Once you get some good dicking you can kiss thinking straight goodbye.  Most people get attached to someone once they have sex with them and if things happen to go wrong it will be difficult to let go.  Now you are stuck with a complete as*hole but the sex game is out of this world.  Good dick is NOT your friend!

I’ve read a couple of articles that encourage women to wait to have sex with their potential partner for 90 days. Apparently this will determine if someone will stay with you for the long haul.  Truth be told, some people had someone wait for a whole year and they still left!  After all is said and done someone will leave if they want to, whether you have sex with them on the first date or after 90 days.

There’s absolutely no formula to this whole sex on the first date thing.  It can work out for the good or the bad depending on the couple involved.  However, if you do decide to have sex whatever you do ALWAYS practice safe sex.  My thoughts still remain the same on the subject.  I’m too old to die from lust because a, b and c said you should do this.  I will do what I think is right for me because You Only Live Once!

 

What are your thoughts on sex on the first date or even better, care to share your experience on the subject?

©MaKupsy 2019

 

 

 

 

15 Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

Heartbreak; if you haven’t gone through it then you my dear are one of the lucky few.  In my opinion the pain that comes with it is right there next to labour pains.  It’s something you don’t want to experience more than once because the pain usually scars you for weeks, months and sometimes years to come.  I asked some of my favourite people on Twitter to share how they managed to get over a heartbreak and as always they didn’t disappoint!  I like to keep opinions anonymous so names are not mentioned.  Their healing processes and some of mine are in the list below.  Kick back, grab your notepad and fix yourself a strong cup of coffee you will want to keep this!

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  1. Cry. Cry yourself to sleep, cry yourself through the day, cry each time you listen to that sappy song that reminds you of him, heck cry yourself a whole river!  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, crying will help wash away the pain.  Whatever you do, DO NOT internalise your emotions.
  2. Get high or die trying. Seriously.  Nothing makes you feel better like a good old smoke.  You are guaranteed of short term memory loss which is a good thing because you can focus on the feel good sensation and forget about your broken heart for a while.  Proven effects include joy, euphoria, contentedness and a care-free attitude!
  3. Cut contact, otherwise you will find yourself snooping on their social media;this is very unhealthy.   I suggest you actually take a social media fast for the next 30 days in a bid to protect yourself.  The last thing you want to do is see your ex partner all loved up on Instagram.  That will actually do you more harm than good, heartbreak and social media are NOT friends!
  4. Get up under someone new.  Try this at your own risk.  An orgasm a day keeps the stress away.  Yes, I made that saying up but it’s a sure way to take your mind off your ex but just make sure whoever you decide to have sex with will actually shower you with multiple orgasms otherwise the whole act will be pointless and leave you frustrated.
  5. Listen to some music. Not the sappy sad stuff by the way. Something upbeat to lift up your spirits.
  6. Move to another place.  Try getting a job in a town hours away from your current location or better yet leave the entire country.  That way you can heal faster without any memory triggers.
  7. Keep yourself occupied. Spend time with friends, do your favourite things.  Try positive distractions such as going out and doing something fun especially something new. Amusement Park, dancing; getting out and not focusing or dwelling on the heartbreak.

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    Photo Credit: @tendai_angela (Instagram)

  8. Put yourself out there. You don’t have to rush into another relationship but just go on dates and feel wanted. It helps to not be lonely and also just for the confidence boost.
  9. Alcohol! , it numbs the pain.  Those who don’t drink can safely turn to ice-cream or comfort foods; hello calories!!  I have tried and tested this one and all I can say is that alcohol will fix the problem for that day but when you wake up sober all the pain will come rushing back.
  10. Accept that it’s over.  This is probably the most crucial point because without this you won’t be able to.  Accept it and do not be bitter, okay TRY very hard not to be bitter.
  11. Positive self talk and reflection.  Remind yourself it’s their loss and not yours. BUT also look at your contributions to the demise of your relationship.  Avoid self blame at all costs but focus on reflecting. This usually happens further down the road to mending your heartbreak.
  12. Let go completely.  You are not trying to do the whole “Oh we’re broken up but we’re cool and modern so we can be friends” – it just prolongs the pain! CUT TIES…Cut it, Cut it, Cut it, you need to cut it!!
  13. Be kind to yourself.  You will have days where you will be upset with the world.  It happens, embrace it.
  14. Time.  It mends the heart.  I know others believe getting straight into another relationship helps you get over another one. This is not everyone’s portion.  Avoid going from one mess straight into another.  That way when you say “I am over someone” you really over them. There are no comebacks.  Time is often under estimated; especially nowadays because everyone wants an instant fix. There is NO QUICK FIX for heartbreak. This is why we end up having relationships with broken people who haven’t healed from past mistakes. Be fair to the next person. Take your time, you do not heal overnight.
  15. Understand that heartbreak is a part of life.  Not just in romantic relationships but in life in general.  Lovers, friends and family will disappoint you so always be prepared to find a way to deal with it.  Learn from your experience and remember that you are not the first or the last one to experience this.  This too shall come to pass…

How have you dealt with heartbreak in the past?  How long did it take you to finally reach the point where you could bump into your ex and they will have zero effect on you?

Let’s talk about it, I would love to read your thoughts.

©MaKupsy 2019

Your Man

The first few weeks of dating someone feel like you’re floating on a cloud stuffed with nothing but pleasure.  What are some of those things that make you have your own special kind of glow?

Why do you relationships go wrong MaKupsy

Image from Pinterest

Some of the cheesy stuff includes;

  • the late night phone calls
  • messaging each other on different platforms each day talking about completely different topics
  • the dates that leave you missing your partner more than the last time you saw them
  • the public display of affection that sometimes comes with countless forehead kisses
  • the urge to want to share everything whether good or bad with your partner
  • random gifts
  • the cute morning messages that you wake up to
  • reaffirming your love through words

Last night I was catching up on the channels I’m subscribed to on YouTube and bumped into the song below. It’s by a Zimbabwean artist named Garry Mapanzure.  This song actually inspired today’s blog post.  After watching it almost 10 times I decided I’d ask you dear reader.

If you’re a man after asking a woman to be a part of your life the way Garry did in this track, at what point do you stop doing the things I mentioned on the list above?  If you’re a woman, when you notice the changes in your relationship do you communicate your observations?  I understand that relationships won’t always be smooth sailing but this track really got me thinking…

Make sure you watch the music video, it’s a beautiful video with thought provoking lyrics, clean visuals and a fine Zimbabwean man.

Let’s talk…

©MaKupsy 2019

I Want To Know What Love Is

“Love is no what you say.  Love is what you do.”

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Image from Pinterest

One thing I’ve learnt over the years is the solid fact that we love differently.  You might think you’re going above and beyond to show your partner how much they mean to you; meanwhile they’re receiving “no signal” at all.  Today’s post will have more questions than answers because I too am still trying to figure out what love is supposed to be.

Why do you think some women have trust issues when it comes to men?

I’ve heard of stories were a married man leaves his matrimonial home in the guise of a day out with his boys only for him to go to pay Lobola for his girlfriend? This is someone who made a vow to love his wife till the end of time.  Which part of this vow said that he can secretly love another woman?  Is it true then that you can love more than one person or it’s a matter of greed?  I’ve always wondered if men who go on to have more than one wife are able to fully satisfy them?  It’s already a tall order pleasing one woman now imagine the amount of stress you’ll invite into your life with more than one of them?

Break up to make up

Have you ever been with a partner who continuously cheats on you but you find yourself sticking it through with them for reasons that seem not so bad when you tell them to yourself;

  • the sex is amazing
  • they’re your comfort zone, they’ve been in your life forever
  • you lost their virginity to them
  • what will people say after dating for so long
  • you love them
  • they’ll change you just have to make sure you change a thing or two to keep them happy

Does a leopard change it’s skin?  Why do you choose to put yourself through things that you know will achieve the square root of nothing?  This person already knows that you’re going to take them back no matter what they do to hurt you.  Love yourself and do the right thing; let them go.

Different relationship goals

unhappy couple MaKupsy.jpg

Image from Google

I remember breaking up with someone I was madly in love with a couple of years ago because he wouldn’t come with me to go get tested to find out our HIV status.  Almost everything was ticking all the boxes until he started coming up with stories not to go to the clinic.  We’re living in a time were people are more concerned about how many people their partner has been with instead of knowing their sexual history.  Protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy and HIV should be top priority.  Don’t buy this bullshit of “but I trust you babe” let’s just have sex without a condom line.  Never trust people, just because you’re sleeping with them doesn’t mean you’re the only one they’re sleeping with.  Remember that!?

You’re probably reading this and thinking we’re all going to die some day so let’s live our best lives.  To be honest; I just want to know why you want to get there sooner than your time when you can do something about protecting your peace and your health.

I just want to know what love is.  Do you think you can help me define it?

ⒸMaKupsy 2019