Early morning phone call…
Him: Hello, how are you this lovely morning?
Her: I’m great honey how are you you today?
Him: I’m good babes. I was thinking, how about I pick you up around 10am and we do breakfast and catch up? It has been a really long week and we haven’t spent time together. We can decide what to do with the rest of the day after breakfast; make sure you wear that dress I like.
Her: That would be a lovely way to start the weekend. Let me get some more shut eye so that I have enough energy for the rest of the day. I’m excited already; I hope we are trying out that new place we saw the last time?
Him: Yes we are and make sure you don’t take forever to get ready I know you babes.
Her: I promise I will be early even though we both know that’ impossible. Will see you soon honey. Kisses
Him: Bye babes see you soon.
Do these things still happen? If yes, please show me the direction so that I can go as well! I remember conversations like these when I was in my early 20’s. I LOVED it, it was more real, more sentimental. I blame the very first boyfriend I had. That guy was probably from another planet because he really went all out. There is no experience he did not take me through. There was never a dull moment the time we dated, surprises were his middle name. You know how women just love those. When I look back I realise that he took his time to know what my interests were and coupled them with his so that we were both happy in the end. Picnics, dinners, breakfasts, flowers, birthday trips, my first flying experience, road trips, learning how to drive…the list is endless and really making me nostalgic right about now. If I am honest with myself after dating him the experiences with the people I dated just went downhill from there and everything became so obvious, he killed the magic guys, he killed it!
When my friends and I have our random chats about men we are always entertained! We have concluded that there are two types of guys; the ones that will take you kunogocha (going for a braai) and buy you a lot of alcohol and hope you get drunk. To think all that money could have been used for a more intimate sit-in date.
Then the other ones who will take you out for a proper date, make arrangements that actually involve things you also enjoy doing then pick you up and sometimes even buy you a dress for the date! Yes, those guys are out there and they do exist; you just don’t find them in the yellow pages. I am not saying “kunogocha” can’t be termed as a date but surely when you are still trying to get to know someone the options are plenty and that one should be the last one on your list. Are you trying to impress someone or trying to never see them again?
I remember reading somewhere that when a man is into you; you will know it through his actions. Can we safely conclude that those who don’t make an effort are really not into a woman?
If you are trying to get attention from a woman by all means let your creative juices flow! The early days can make or break your dating chances. You want to be remembered as that guy who did the one thing that no other guy had done for her. Let the other random not so exciting dates come after you have won her over. At least you would have shown her that you are capable of keeping things exciting. Being spontaneous really goes a long way. I know you are reading this and thinking a relationship involves two people why is the man being the one to do all the work here? Well, the answer is simple; the man is the hunter, us women are just out here waiting to be hunted.
Thank you to Shingi and Tonde for the beautiful pictures. They are my favourite Twitter couple and when I have free time I stalk them and just smile. Love is a beautiful thing to watch and they do it so well. I wish them nothing but love and happiness.
Let’s talk. What are your thoughts on dating? What have been your best and worst experiences so far? Is your man calling you to make a date or it’s whatever happens that day happens. Guys, how are you spicing up your dating game?
I hope your weekend was great!
©MaKupsy 2017
MAKUPSY 
Too darn right you are, men don’t woo us anymore. Only a few men are willing to wine and dine you, and that’s only if they are assured of fuck access.
But we women are partly responsible for the demise of chivalry ya know, we have become accepting of such behaviour. We don’t set the bar high enough with regards to dating experiences, we don’t insist on goin on a picnic, on a coffee date..we are content with chilling at drink ups, going to the club, meeting up for sex and thats about it.
A very close friend of mine is dating a real gentleman in my eyes, they do all that coffee dates and lunch, and strolls in the park thing. Now that i think about it, in this context, it could be because she’s a virgin, so all that sex stuff is outa bounds. Maybe we too should hold out on sex, get the chance to know each other, do fun things together, the movie kinda dates, where romance abounds. Dating would be so much better.
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You do have a point there. We are partly to blame for the way the men are behaving. But I realise that is one of the reasons I am single, I have certain standards and if the guy hoping to be a part of my life does not meet them then it is best not to waste each others time. I would rather deal with being single any day than have to settle for less. These drink ups are fun when done with friends and there is no hidden motive. When it’s a guy you like and hope to build a future with surely it has to be something more meaningful when it comes to spending time together…
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totally love this….so so true, but trust me there are still good gentlemen out there …just so rare to find in a sea full of scumbags
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trust you to use scumbags, whatever happened to thorns, or flies or better still fish!
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Girl keep em standards up, at least twil force one or two men to pull up their socks and measure up. Imma take a page outa your book 🙂
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THIS!! I literally just went on a rant yesterday about how people don’t respect relationships anymore, whether it be their own or someone else’s. Dating isn’t the same as it was…let’s say ten years ago. Although I wasn’t personally dating anyone because I was only 13, I saw how relationships were. I’m 23 now, and that’s still young for some people…but hey, I take it seriously. It’s like people don’t put in the effort. They’re too worried about “cutting people off” and blah blah blah. Girls take pride in being a “side-chick” and guys just don’t have respect for females. Then again, females don’t really have respect for themselves anymore. Not saying all guys or girls are like that. But I see a lot of that on Twitter. Then again MOST people on twitter are either still in high school or college. But to me, it seems too many people worry about not getting to know anybody because they wanna put up a “front” and try to act like a hard ass. But then they complain when they have nobody. They let their pride get in the way. People have this bad attitude with the whole “if you don’t text me first, we’re not talking.” Just relationships are not taken seriously anymore, it seems. People don’t take the time to get to know one another. And not to mention, people think it’s all about sex when in reality, it’s not. Seriously, so many people base their relationships on sex these days, and it’s sad because that’s not what it’s about. I’m still young, yes. But it’s a whole new generation these days.
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WOW this is the longest reply I have ever received on my blog, you are officially the first person to give me total feedback. I couldn’t agree more, most people are taking relationships and marriage like a big joke lately. It makes it even harder to distinguish who is being honest and who is just out to get some or something from the next person.
But I would like to believe there are a handful of people out there who still believe in love and are willing to go all out to work on building strong and solid relationships. ..
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Aw, lol. This post was something that’s been on my mind lately.
Yes, most definitely. I think there’s people out there who do still take it seriously. But I also feel like it’s more of a joke that it used to be…which is sad.
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Feel free to reblog 🙂
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I followed you on Twitter 🙂
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Oh yes, I was wondering who it was this whole time. I am now following back 🙂
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hahaha! i read the opening dialogue and immediately thought inhema chete! hakuna zvakadai. Like you, my first bf was the one and the rest went down hill from there on. I’m 25 and soooo over this dating thing, I’m not even sure what dating is supposed to be. Instead I am going through a “datemyself” phase, dinner, movies, events, picnics on my own…it’s so much more fun. BTW I partly clicked this post cause I follow Shingi on insta, she’s pretty cool 🙂
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Sha, there are like 5 guys who are like that in the entire country. LOL.
I am happy you are doing you for now because that way you have far less disappointments because dating can be an actual stress. The one who will treat you the way you deserve will come along when you least expect it.
Shingi and Tonde are too beautiful, I am so going to gate crash their wedding!
Thank you for reading Ange
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Do you know, a male friend and I spoke about this just yesterday. Men of our generation just don’t make the effort anymore, but they are not to blame. As girls we just aren’t demanding these things anymore and we’re now settling for the bare minimum in fear of losing the man. The guy I was dating asked me to come over to his house for our 1st date, I didn’t even respond. I just stopped talking to him cause I felt I deserved so much better than being in his house. He quickly figured this out and suggested drinks at this hot joint in the city. Later on he asked why I had ignored his request and I simply told him that I was far much better than mediocre efforts and if he wanted me, he had to know how to woe me properly. Ever since, we had amazing and creative dates and not once has he asked me to come over to his place again.
I believe that a man will treat you how you want him to treat you. When the relationship is new, it’s almost like tasting the waters and seeing what they can get away with so when you entertain his less than average efforts, you sort of reinforce them to continue. Once you let him know (by your actions) that you won’t tolerate mediocre, believe me, he will up his game to keep up with your standards. That’s the mistake we ladies make, we settle and not demand, hence less romance and more ordinary.
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And that’s exactly how it should be! We should be more upfront about how we want to be treated and everything else will fall into place.
I can’t believe that guy thought you would actually rock up at his place on a first date, like how old are we? If you really want to show how serious you are then plan some serious dates please.
Thank you for reading and I hope more women got to read this comment so that they start applying this into their lives. 🙂
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Nice Article! And funny intro about the first boyfriend killing the magic 🙂
Btw, have you ever heard of the Mosuo matryarchal community in China? Women rule, take the initiative and chase men just as men do! It doesn’t sound so bad…:)
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Thank you for reading. You said women do what in China?? Now I have to look it up and read more about it 🙂
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Soon an article about it 🙂 Anyways yes, it is definitely worth read more about it already! Thank you for following, we also really like your blog!
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I will be patiently waiting to read it. Why thank you kindly, care to share what it is you like about my blog? 🙂
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